AN: So, sorry about the delay. I got a little distracted by the new season...and school...and yeah. No excuses. I'm not exactly thrilled with this chapter, it's mostly fluff and filler. They should be moving into the new house in the next chapter...

Love and Hate

Lorelai chewed on the side of her nail as she, Luke, Rory, and Logan waited on Sookie's front porch for the family to arrive home with their newest addition. Rory and Logan sat on the steps off to the side, snuggled into one another and talking quietly. Luke and Lorelai had sat down on the cushioned bench against the wall and Lorelai was leaned into Luke's shoulder. His arm was wrapped lazily, but purposefully, around her shoulders. He glanced down and noticed her nail biting and shooed her hand away and took it in his other hand. He knew how nervous she was, and how much she didn't want to be here, and had to commend her for being brave enough to come and see the baby. He knew how bad she was still hurting, because he was still hurting too.

Breakfast had gone fine, they'd talked about the new engagement and both Rory and Logan had respectfully avoided the topic of the baby. It had been a pleasant hour and a half spent with her daughter and future son in law. Nothing completely out of the ordinary had gone on and the food had been fine, but there had been a palpable feeling of dread looming over the table and sat concentrated over Lorelai.

Luke squeezed her hand softly and she turned to look at him.

"I don't know if I can do this." She whispered.

"You can. You're so strong. We'll say hi, see the baby and then go and spend the rest of the day together." Luke said leaning his forehead against hers. She sighed and managed a faint smile.

"Okay." She tilted her face up to his and brushed her lips softly over his. She realized in that moment it was the first time they'd kissed since the day before she'd miscarried. She closed her eyes and put her face in the crevice between his neck and shoulder and breathed deeply.

"Mom? They're here." Rory said softly a few minutes later. Lorelai took a deep breath and looked at Luke and he stood up and offered her a hand, which she took. Sookie's minivan slowed to a stop and Jackson got out. The foursome crossed the yard, all smiles, to the car. Sookie got out chattering excitedly at the girls and opened the door on her side and extracted Jaycee and her car seat while Jackson got sleeping Davey out of the car. The foursome followed the family inside, where Sookie sat Jaycee down in her car seat in front of the couch.

Lorelai sat down on one side of Sookie and Rory plopped on the other and they both peered over their knees at the sleeping baby.

"Oh. My. God. Sookie. She's precious!" Rory squealed quietly.

Silently Lorelai cursed herself for hoping the baby wouldn't be cute so she wouldn't feel as awful when she held her. Bur Rory was right, the baby was adorable. She was dressed in a little purple onesie that covered her feet and her hands barely stuck out of the sleeves. Her hair, what little of it she had, was very obviously red, and stuck out in a million different directions. Jaycee's little mouth stretched out into an "o" and Lorelai smiled, her heart being pulled in two different directions. She looked up and saw Luke staring at her watching the baby, she gave him a small smile to let him know she was okay and then went back to "ooh"-ing and "ahh"-ing at the baby with Rory.

Sookie unfastened the car seat straps and lifted the baby out and handed her to Lorelai.

"Hi Jaycee…" Lorelai cooed to the bundle of purple she held in her arms. Her heart hurt so much that she thought it was going to explode. She cradled the baby's head in her hands as she laid her on her legs and bounced her slightly. "I'm your Auntie Lorelai. Sookie she's beautiful. So tiny!"

"Yeah well she didn't feel that tiny during labor." Sookie said grimacing.

"Stop hogging the baby, I want to see her too!" Rory said pouting in Lorelai's direction.

"Take a breath, you'll get her in a minute." Lorelai said scooping up the baby and standing up. She crossed the room, jiggling the baby a little as she walked. She stood in front of Luke and jerked with her head motioning for him to get up. He stood up hesitantly and she passed him the baby slowly. Lingering for a minute with her hands still under the baby and looked at him. Tears threatened to well up in her eyes but she blinked them away quickly. She took a step back and watched him awkwardly stand there with the baby. She was so tiny and he was so big it was almost comical, Lorelai smiled and crossed her arms in front of her. After a few minutes Jaycee started to fuss and Luke quickly passed her off to Rory who was waiting patiently for her turn.

"So Jackson's mom told me you guys were at the hospital, how come you didn't stick around?" Sookie asked as Lorelai sat back down next to her.

Shit. Lorelai thought. She looked at Luke and then back to Sookie quickly.

"I wasn't feeling that well and decided that it'd be better if I waited until you guys got home to see you just in case I was contagious, but it was just a little 24 hour thing, I'm fine now." Lorelai said quickly.

"Oh good, I wasn't sure and was worried." Sookie said, patting Lorelai's knee and yawning.

"Honey you must be exhausted. We'll get out of here so you can rest." Lorelai said, standing up

"Oh, stay! I'm not tired!" Sookie protested.

"Honey you can barely keep your eyes open." Lorelai said picking up her purse. She gave Sookie a hug and whispered "Congratulations" in her ear as she pulled back and smiled. Luke crossed the room and slid an arm around Lorelai's waist and they started to walk towards the door.

"SWEETIE! What is THAT on your finger!" Sookie squealed, promptly making Jaycee burst into a wail.

"Another story for another day." Rory said quickly, grabbing Logan's hand and scooting out the door behind Lorelai and Luke who were already down the front steps.

Lorelai leaned against Luke's shoulder as the foursome walked back to the house.

Rory came up and touched Lorelai's shoulder as they walked up the drive.

"Mom? Are you okay?" Rory asked, rubbing her hand across Lorelai's upper back.

"I'm fine, or I will be. Don't worry about me." She said letting go of Luke and sliding her arm around Rory.

"Okay, we have to get back to school. I love you, and I'll call you later okay?" Rory said, hugging Lorelai fiercely.

"I love you too. You're the best kiddo. Congratulations again. We'll have to start planning this thing soon." Lorelai said squeezing back equally hard.

Luke and Logan shook hands and Logan gave Lorelai a kiss on the cheek as Rory wrapped Luke in an equally big hug as she'd given Lorelai.

The two of them stood on the porch until the car was out of sight, and then Lorelai leaned into Luke and he felt hot tears seep through his shirt.

"Baby, what's wrong?" He asked, kissing the top of her head and running his hands up and down her back. He walked them over to the swing and sat down, letting her melt into him further. She hiccupped and let out a sob muffled into his shirt, he couldn't do anything but hold her and whisper things like "It'll be okay" and "Shh". He felt useless. After a few minutes she pulled back and sniffed and looked at him.

"I shouldn't hate Sookie right now. I shouldn't, but I do." She said quietly.

"It's okay. You're hurting." He said, brushing away her tears with his thumbs and letting his hands linger on her cheeks.

"I'm tired of hurting. I want to be happy again." She said, fresh tears leaving tracks down her cheeks.

"I know you do. You will be. We're going to be fine and happy and come away and be even better than you can even imagine." He said softly, taking her hand in his. "I promise."

Lorelai was quiet and she leaned back into him.

What did I do to deserve him? He's too good for me.

Lorelai pulled back and he squeezed her hand gently. A smile played at the corners of her lips.

"Thank you." She said softly.

"Thank you." Luke replied, pushing the hair out of her face with his free hand.

She cupped his cheek with her free hand and stroked his sideburn down into the three day scruff on his cheek with her thumb. She leaned forward and stared into his eyes. They'd found themselves gazing into each other's eyes so many times before. But this time it was different.

He leaned forward and rested his forehead against hers, and squeezed the hand that had been resting on his leg and laced his fingers with hers. She closed her eyes and took a shuddering breath and as she looked back into his eyes he saw the threat for the tears to overflow again. One tear slid slowly down her cheek and he shifted and kissed it away as it reached the crest of her cheekbone.

She shivered as he kissed away her tears. Not just any man does that. She thought. He nuzzled her nose softly which made her giggle. It was something that he only EVER did in private and it was one of her favorite things, well one of her favorite non-sexual things, he did.

She smiled at him and pressed her lips softly to his, still stroking his cheek with one hand. She pulled back after a few seconds.

"I need to check in at work. My mind hasn't exactly been in the game there since…" she said quietly.

"Okay, you go. I should go by the diner anyway." He said, standing up and pulling her up by her hand.

"I'll come by after I check everything out. I should call Rory, I was kind of caught up in everything and didn't get to really talk to her." She said as she walked towards the door, his hand in hers.

"Okay. We'll figure out what to do tonight when you get to the diner, if you want to do anything that is." He said, clarifying quickly.

She smiled. "Okay."

She reached up and let her arms circle his neck, and she kneaded the skin there with her fingers a little before taking a step closer to him. He slid his arms around her waist and let them rest on her hips. She stood on her tip-toes and pressed her lips against his again. He pulled her closer to him and they stood there, locked in the most innocent of embraces they'd ever had on that front porch.

There was no rush to it, it was just a silent exchange of how incredibly much they were in love with each other.

After a few minutes she pulled back and brought her hands to rest on his chest. Her eyes fluttered open and she smiled up at him.

"I love you." She said, playing with the collar of his shirt.

"I love you, too" he said, leaning down and pecking her on the lips again. "I'll see you in a little bit. Okay?"

She nodded and kissed his cheek and he left. She went inside and got her purse and phone before going out to her car to go check on the inn.

She parked her car in the parking lot of the Dragonfly and hurried up the walk, anxious to check out everything and get back to Luke. They had so much talking left to do, and she already couldn't stand being away from him for long periods of time.

"Lorelai! Well I just thought you'd up and left us! I hope all's well with you!" a voice said behind her as she walked towards the kitchen.

"Hi Tobin." She said, turning around and smiling and hugging the boisterous man. "Where's Michel?"

"Oh I told him to go ahead and go home. He was particularly mean today and I was just over him. O-v-e-r him!"

"Well that's good. Anything going on that I should know about? I just stopped by for a few minutes to check on things."

"Everything's fine, nothing new to report around here. We're at 90 occupancy for the next three weeks, so business is just booming!"

Lorelai didn't know how much more she could take of his incessant cheerfulness, yes she was in a good mood but there was still a limit as to how much Tobin anyone could take.

"Okay Tobin, I'm gonna just grab some stuff out of my office to take home and look over and then I'll be out of here. Give Michel hell for me tomorrow morning before I get in."

"Will do!"

Lorelai unlocked her office and grabbed the files she'd been working on the day Sookie had gone into labor off her desk and locked the office back. She pulled her phone out of her purse and dialed Rory's number as she walked outside.

"Hello?"

"Hey kiddo." Lorelai said, getting comfy in one of the chairs under the big Oak to the left of the Inn. "Whatcha up to?"

"Nothing really, I've got some reading to do for my Writing for Broadcast Media class but that's about it, we just got back like 5 minutes ago. What're you doing?"

"Just came by the inn to check on things. I just wanted to call and talk since we didn't really get to this weekend."

"Oh mom, it's okay. You were wrapped up in all the stuff that was going on, I understand."

There was silence on both ends of the line for a few seconds.

"Hey mom?" Rory started, hesitantly

"Hey what?" Lorelai quipped back

"Um…I….How did…never mind." Rory stammered

"It's okay. I think talking about it makes me feel just a little bit better."

"Mom we really don't have to if you don't want to."

"No kid, I do. You're my best friend, you deserve to know and I should have filled you in on all of it earlier." Lorelai said, her heart jumping up to her throat just a little bit. "It started the night after we painted the master bedroom at the house….oh God Rory it was awful. I hope you never ever have to go through it…"

Almost two hours later Lorelai entered the diner, taking her customary seat at the counter. Luke came out of the kitchen a few minutes later, wiping his hands on his jeans.

"Hey" she said, leaning her elbows on the counter. He leaned over and kissed her forehead.

"Hey. How was the inn?"

"Fine, Tobin's been working a lot. I'm thinking about promoting him to Michel's position and making Michel a general manager…gotta talk to Sookie about that first though."

"Did you talk to Rory?"

"Yeah, I did. It was good. She asked about…it…and we talked about it and then a lot about the wedding. She told my mother on the ride home and she's already freaking out with plans…but she told her she doesn't want her help and that she wants to plan it herself. To be a fly on the wall when my mom got that bombshell dropped on her. But…" Lorelai paused.

"But what?"

"The Huntzbergers' are demanding to pay for it. They're not going to get away with not having the wedding of the year…she wants me to help with planning it but I don't know. I've never even been to a wedding with literally no budget."

"It'll be okay. You've got a while before you even have to start thinking about that." Luke said, squeezing her hand that was laying on the counter.

"Yeah. I'm gonna go home and change and stuff. I'm really tired. Will you bring me food later?" She asked, batting her eyes at him.

"Of course. I should be done here in an hour or so." Luke said, wiping off the counter.

"Okay. See you at home." She said leaning across the counter and kissing him softly.

She left the diner but didn't go home. She took a detour and parked in the driveway of the new house and stared up at it taking it all in. She went inside and stood in the foyer, shoving her hands in her back pockets and taking it all in. The interior was almost done. Tom's crew had to finish painting the attic rooms, finish glassing in the porch off the deck, and install the hot tub and then they'd be done. The pool guys were supposed to start within the next two days and the landscaper was going to come in to do the yards as soon as they got the pool in.

It's really happening.

She ran her hand along the bottom of the banister of the stairs and walked through the ground floor, listening to her heels click against the hardwood flooring.

We'll have Christmas and Thanksgiving here this year.

She walked into the kitchen and ran her hand along the granite counter tops and stared out the big bay windows in the breakfast nook into the backyard. Right now it was not much to look at, but she could still picture the final product. The pool would be just off the left side of the deck, the rest of the yard would be re-sod and they'd have flowers in the flower beds. The backyard was huge. She wanted to put a hammock out back somewhere so there'd be somewhere to nap and read during the summer, and to sit wrapped up in a blanket drinking hot chocolate or coffee in the winter. There was more than enough room for a play set if they ever needed it.

Ouch.

She rubbed her arms and then turned on her heel and walked back towards the front door, out of the house, and to her car.

When Luke got home he found her curled up on the couch watching A League of Their Own. He slipped out of his coat and crossed to the couch where he saw she'd fallen asleep somewhere around the try out scene judging from how deep asleep she was and how far into the movie she was. She was wrapped in a blanket up to her chin and her curls were splayed all over the pillow, a couple falling onto her face and feathering around as she breathed in and out.

He smiled. She looked like a little girl wrapped in the huge blanket. He sat down in the space on the couch left in the space in front of her stomach from the way she was curled up. He reached over and brushed the curls out of her face and tucked them behind her ear, letting his hand trail across her jaw. He leaned down and pressed his lips against her temple. She sighed softly in her sleep and stirred. Her eyes blinking open as she slowly rejoined the world of the awake.

He loved her eyes when she woke up. The only other times they were that blue was when she was exited…in both connotations of the word. But there was something different about her eyes when she'd just woken up, they were bright but cloudy, as if she was still trying to shake away whatever pleasant dream she'd just left behind and focus on the world in front of her still half in dream land.

"Hi" she croaked, her voice coated in the hoarseness of sleep.

"Hey. I didn't mean to wake you up." He said. She leaned into the hand he'd left on her cheek.

"I should get up anyway. If I sleep here I'll hate myself in the morning. And, I'm hungry." She said, stretching out her legs and making a scrunchy face as she stretched out her sleep-tensed muscles.

"I brought you a burger." He said, her eyes drifted towards the coffee table.

"No food for you?" She asked

"I ate before I left. But I'll watch you eat." He said

"That doesn't repulse you?" she chided. She sat up and grabbed the bag. Luke went into the kitchen and returned with a beer for himself and a water bottle for Lorelai. She took it and smiled and dug into her hamburger. Things were starting to return to normal, slowly but surely.