Warnings: mild innuendos, please minors, do not interact… it's not that suggestive but yeah…
· · ·
"So, you'll find out the results in a month?" I asked as I closed the book I was holding, finding it hard to understand the lesson I was reading. She looked up from the book she was holding thoughtfully, dropping the highlighter in favor of the red ballpen.
We're both lounging in my room to study. Well, she is. I'm barely processing anything that I'm reading.
"Yeah. It's honestly a little nerve wracking waiting to see if I actually passed the entrance exam or not." She mumbled and sighed before closing the book she was holding completely.
It's already the first week of February, and almost all snow has thawed. We were both preparing for our final examinations for our third year in March, which would determine if we will be graduating or not. It's not like it's gonna be soon enough. It's still a month away, the same week where some of the universities release their entrance exam results. Why are we preparing early? I don't know. We usually do this just one week ahead but it's not like both of us have something to do anyways. With volleyball finally being done for me for this school year and their band not being allowed to join any competitions because of their deal with mono, it's been... A pretty boring few weeks for us. We have nothing else to do aside anxiously from waiting for us to graduate in March.
"Do you think you've done well in that?" I asked. I haven't actually asked her anything about how her exam went, since I kind of forgot about it. And hey, we barely got out in the past few weeks. I'm not asking something serious since I don't want the very few times we spend being about something super stressful. She's already stressed enough, and I don't want to add to that. The best thing I could do for her is to cheer her up in an attempt to at least lighten the load of what she was feeling...
"Well..." When she didn't continue what she was saying, I looked up to her expectantly. She further sinked herself to the sheets of my bed and wrapped my blanket around so only her head was visible. The book she was holding earlier lay forgotten on the side. Noticing my staring, she sighed before mumbling. "I... I don't wanna jinx myself but I think it was fine? I'm not saying it was easy... But yeah..."
It was a little easier than she initially expected, wasn't it?
I felt a grin break in my face as I stood up from my chair and sat beside her as she raised my blanket till her cheeks. I won't be surprised if she passed with flying colors. She had been hellbent on studying in the past weeks that it got everyone super worried about her. To the point that Hatsukou had to pull her away from her room since she locked herself in there.
"I bet you pass with flying colors." I said as I hugged her through the blanket. I can't see her fully because of the blanket but I felt her leaning in too.
"Don't- don't say those things. Those are bad luck."
"I thought you said you weren't a superstitious person?"
"I'm not." She said defensively as she puffed her cheeks.
"Really?"
"Let's change the topic. I don't want to talk about this anymore." She then tossed the blanket around for some reason and opened the book again to a random page, her face still contorted into a small pout. She looks absolutely cute right now. Well, it's not like she wasn't cute in the previous days. She always looks so pretty that she drives me crazy- when I see her acting cute like that... I can't help the the dumb grin that's always present whenever I'm with her. She must have noticed that I'm not studying anymore in favor of staring at her. Whatever. It's still in a month anyway. I'm sure I could cram since I don't even have volleyball practice anymore.
"Why are you staring at me with an idiotic look on your face?" She asked a little defensively, her nose scrunched up slightly in annoyance without any real heat behind them.
"My eyes always wander at the prettiest thing in the room." I said. Her hold in the book tightened as she blushed. I remember Kuroo sending me that passage. I think that was right based on her reaction... He and Konoha always send these little things. It was annoying at first but moments like this remind me of how useful those are. I might thank them later without telling them anything.
I refuse to admit that they were right.
"If there's a pretty thing in the room, I'm pretty sure it's not me. I think it's the guy wearing that gray sleeveless shirt in front of me." She mumbled shyly while still refusing to look at me.
Oh it's on.
I always lose whenever she assaults me with a barrage of compliments. I'm not losing these time. She'll be the one flustered between us.
"So you really think I'm pretty?"
"Yeah no. You're fucking gorgeous." She hummed as she looked down on her book. "So don't go out wearing just that or I might get into a fight." As if she registered what she just mumbled, she immediately followed with, "WAIT NO FORGET THAT I SAID THAT!"
I, too, didn't immediately realize the implications of what she just said.
"Aw, do you really like what you see that much that you don't wanna share?" I teased while slightly flexing my arms, which made her even redder than usual.
"NO- I MEAN- UGH!" She threw the blanket and the book completely at the ground before glaring embarrassedly at me. How cute. You know how a kitten looks when they're trying to act tough? Like the bristled furs and the way they try to make people back away by hitting the ground with their little paws? And baring their still not sharp fangs and claws... She just looks like that.
"How about I give you a better view?" I said as I slightly raised my top till my chest while still grinning at her. I don't even know why I did that. Impulse maybe? I just want to get some kind of reaction from her. It's fun teasing her, though I make sure I don't go overboard.
I think I stunned her.
She stared at me wordlessly before realizing what she was doing. Her face becomes as red as a tomato if possible.
"WAIT DON'T DO THESE KINDA THINGS WITHOUT A WARNING!" She screeched as she threw a pillow in my face which I caught while laughing.
"So I'm allowed to do this if I tell you first beforehand?"
"NO?!!" She then attempted to tackle me, which I avoided by jumping up and running away with a laugh. She ran after me, before realizing that it's futile and she has a better chance of just throwing things at me than chasing me. Seeing that, she continued throwing things at me until she ran out of things to throw. She looked around angrily, and I took that chance to sneak a hug from her.
She must have been a little startled, since she jumped a little and made us stumble and fall out of balance. Good thing we were right next to my bed, so our fall didn't hurt at all. And it's a good thing that I fell first so I cushioned the impact for her. Don't want her to get hurt after all. After a few minutes of silence, we were both speechless once we realized how... compromising our position was- with her laying right on top of me while I'm still tightly holding her in the dip of her waist.
I-
This wasn't my intention the slightest. Not at all. I just wanted to make her feel a little flustered and maybe a little embarrassed... then buy her some ice cream to make it up with her later...
She muttered something I didn't quite catch before burying her face in my chest further and refusing to look at me, moving around slightly to a be more comfortable, until I can feel her wrapping her arms around me too-
That was a bad decision, wasn't it.
I can feel how close she was. I can feel her quiet breaths since she's kind of hiding her face in my chest (I hope I don't smell sweaty right now. That would literally be so embarrassing) and that something soft is pressing on me as she lay unmoving on top.
What? I'm still a teenage guy who feels things, even those. This is completely normal.
And... And...
I don't wanna think those thoughts about her but... Shit- did she just move? Ugh, I definitely regret my decision. This is bad. Definitely, very bad. That's not happening right now. She won't see that happen. Nope. Nope. Impure thoughts, get out of my head.
Think of something- anything to distract you. Um...
Kuroo.
Kuroo's hyena laugh.
Kuroo's hyena laugh.
Kuroo's hyena laugh.
Focus on Kuroo's hyena laugh. It's better if he's ringing in my mind than thinking about those stuff about her. Think of all the things he did. Like when he embarrassed himself in front of Daishou... Or that time he accidentally slipped in the spilled juice in the cafeteria because he was too busy staring at his crush back in middle school. Or when that black cat that strangely resembled him scratched his face till it's bloody and Kenma had to pry that cat off. Strange that that cat is only receptive to Kenma since it hates me too and not to brag but almost all cats like me... Just- focus on Kuroo and all shit he did.
Think with your head above and not the one below.
This is a little awkward... No. Super awkward. And weird. And to make the matters worse-
"Um... I know you two are like, a couple now aren't you two being loud? You're lucky mom's asleep at the moment…" As if on cue, the both of us both turned to the suddenly opened door, where Kouha was standing with a pretty... indescribable expression, still holding to the doorknob. She must have heard the thumping from when we were throwing things at each other and assumed something else… The two of us just stared at each other wordlessly while Chuuyou remained unmoved from her previous position for a few more minutes before she shook her head contemplatively. "Whatever. It's none of my business. But just to confirm, you two already received the birds and the bees talks, right?"
I can feel the mortification rising in my cheeks as she uttered those words without a beat. I don't even need to glance down at Chuuyou to know that she feels the same.
"WAIT KOUHA-NEE, YOU GOT THE WRONG IDEA!"
"WE AREN'T DOING SOMETHING LIKE THAT!"
"You two don't need to lie. I was once your age too you know? I had my fair share of guys ever since I was sixteen. Don't tell mom though. She has no idea" she then mumbled something while starting to feel around the pockets of her pants. "But do remember to be careful and use protection- ah! Here." She then threw a... A whole box of condoms that we watched until it thudded silently on my desk.
Why does she even have that in her pocket- whatever. It's not my business on whatever goes on to my sister's... bed life.
(Though did she just imply that she did that when she was still 16? How the hell?)
"Keep it down kids! Don't be too loud. and don't forget to lock the door next time since mom might hear. It's better if you don't do these things at the house at all though. Less interruptions I tell you." She then clicked the lock of my door before shutting it loudly. I continued staring to the direction of the door without saying anything else, the sound of the door was still ringing in my ears as silence completely overtook the atmosphere of my room.
"Let's... Let's just forget this ever happened." I mumbled shyly and embarrassedly as I helped her get out of our previous predicament. From the side of my eye, I saw her roll a little far away from me, face red and refusing as much as to even look at me.
At least Kuroo and all his shenanigans helped. Sending mental thanks to him... I'll definitely be nice to him to the next few weeks.
"... yeah." We were refusing to look at each other from the awkward and embarrassing situation that just happened.
Then I remembered my previous dumb action.
Quickly, I fixed my outfit and coughed to disguise the embarrassment that I felt. I still feel so embarrassed for doing that and Kouha catching us in the act. (This sounds so suspicious)
Why did I even do that!
Damn it.
And I should have locked the doors.
I don't know what to say and thankfully she broke the silence. Though the topic she brought up wasn't something I really want to think about.
"Do you realize that Kouha just admitted that she lost her v-card when she was 16?" She said. I heard a hurried flipping of a book, and the sound of a pen tapping impatiently on the said book.
"Don't. Please. I don't ever want to think of that over my sister. Please." I said while visibly cringing. I heard her soft laugh as she hummed and thankfully dropped the topic, so I also went back to the book I'm reading earlier.
I find myself not registering whatever that I was reading. It's like the words were floating as I let my mind wander.
Where did Kouha do those things? And with who? I mean, she was quite the party girl when she was at that age. And she would always tell me and Kougyoku about all her adventures on said parties while making us swear that we won't tell mom. And she had a lot of boyfriends and "girl friends" that she sometimes bring home for sleepovers…
Did she ever do that sort of thing in our house?
Besides, I think she just implied that she already did that multiple times, which I don't get why… mom didn't raise us to be shy with those things and never really said something about that being reserved for marriage like all religious people say so but I don't think she would have approved of Kouha doing that ever so often and with different people too.
I really don't get it. I mean, is that really that good? It can't be that good.
I find myself looking at Chuuyou, who was humming something as the pen she was using glided upon the paper. I kinda want to ask her, but maybe she also doesn't know anything about those things? I know she's like, really smart but she can't know everything, right? And besides, she looks so focused right now so I don't want to interrupt her. Like that fiasco earlier didn't happen at all based on how concentrated she is on the paper she's holding. I wonder how she does that…
But anyways, those people must have been exaggerating when they say it was good… though, it must be something at least for Kouha to want to repeatedly do it…
WAIT NO!
I JUST SAID I'M NOT THINKING ABOUT IT. WHY AM I THINKING ABOUT IT?
I immediately got rid of the thought and tried to distract myself by looking around my room. Everything looks a little messy since we did play around.
And the damn box of condoms is still on the desk.
I quickly stood up, startling Chuuyou from beside me again, and snatched that thing out of my desk before determinedly marching towards the window of my room and throwing it out.
I think it landed on someone since I heard a thump and a curse from below but whatever.
That thing is useless anyways. We won't be needing that.
With a satisfied hum, I returned to my seat from beside her as she looked at me questioningly before shaking her head and focused again on the book. I, too, decided to get rid of the useless thoughts and focus on what we were doing earlier. What was it again? Ah yes, we were studying before. Let's go back to modern physics volume 2.
· · ·
"Why are you limping around like that, Ishi?" Konoha asked curiously to Chuuyou, who only glared at him in response as she tried to walk around to the empty chair. It's not like she couldn't walk at all, there was just a noticeable, uncomfortable difference in the way she walked. Upon reaching the seat, she immediately plopped down and continued looking at Konoha like he said the most absurd thing on the entire earth. "Did you wake up on the wrong side of the bed or something? no need to be so aggressive on a Monday!"
"Shut up."
"Her dumbass slipped and fell because she didn't see the 'caution: wet floor' sign in front of her." Washio said after her, sighing as he gave her the bag that he had helped her carry.
"YOU FELL DOWN THE FUCKING STAIRS?"
"NO? THERE WASN'T EVEN ANY STAIRS MENTIONED? WHAT THE HELL KONOHA? I just slipped, no biggie." She said incredulously as she gratefully accepted the bag from Washio. "And it was just some dumbass spilling orange juice in front of the library earlier. Thank fuck I always bring my gym uniform... Orange juice is so sticky." She complained as she sniffed, still feeling the imaginary sugary good in her arm even if she already washed it.
"Dude. " Komi began worriedly. "You really need to be careful with your surroundings and stop slipping everywhere. The last time you slipped..." He grimaced before immediately stopping himself from continuing. At the reminder, everyone on the table also winced.
"That was one time. And it was last year already." She defended firmly as she inwardly cringed at the particular memory.
"And your ass got sent to the emergency room for that, last year or not." Komi refuted. Chuuyou felt herself physically becoming smaller at the weight of everyone's stare to her.
'Fucking damn it. Not again.' At each passing minute, she could feel something within her, akin to a bottle that's slowly being filled with water and if this continues, she knows she'll overflow. It's a feeling she's so familiar with, and it's something she has been controlling in her whole life- that is, stopping herself from overflowing with feelings.
"Ishi, we just really worry about you, you know? You aren't really the most careful person in the bunch. If anything, you're the most reckless despite your... Condition." Washio said bluntly.
"But I-" before she could finish her sentence, Koutarou announced his arrival, interrupting the current topic being discussed.
"HEY GUYS!"
"Oh hey Kou." She said, voice tinged with relief at his perfect timing. She knows that at the moment, she's a ticking time bomb that's waiting to explode if not shut down properly and carefully, and that she could hurt a lot of people if she exploded especially in an uncontrolled environment. She needs her semblance of control again, and she needs it now. "How's your day?"
"It was okay." He mumbled before pulling a seat besides her. "Nothing particularly interesting really happened." He shrugged.
"Oh yeah? Wanna te-"
"Don't let her distract you guys!" Konoha slammed his hands on the table, the loud sound of it drawing the attention of everyone and some onlookers to him. "Bo, Ishi just slipped and now can't walk!"
"You're hurt?" He immediately started fretting around her, looking for anything that might look like it was out of normal.
"That's a gross exaggeration. I can still walk. How did you think I got here? Flying?" She started impatiently tapping on the table, forcing herself to control the hot fire of anger that's starting to burn the patience she uses to control herself.
'WOULD THEY JUST STOP DOING THIS? I'M ALREADY HAVING A BAD DAY AS IT IS. I DON'T WANT THEIR OVERBEARING NAGGING RIGHT NOW!'
Washio coughed, which was ignored.
"Chuuyou, would you please start taking care of yourself? You can't keep being reckless everytime!" Koutarou began. He was staring at her intently, but instead of the usual giddiness she feels whenever he looks at her, all she feels is resentment at this moment.
"I CAN WALK JUST FINE!" As if to prove a point, she stood up. Her feet were still swelling which isn't even noticeable from her socks, but it's like she didn't notice it at all since she was distracted by the intensity of the rage and bitterness she's feeling. Koutarou's attitude right now reminds her of the people that surround her, especially mom and Dowoon, who constantly forbids her to do things or go to some places just because she might get hurt. Their overprotectiveness caused her to miss out on a bunch of experiences and opportunities in her childhood and teenage life. She loves those two dearly, and she's not afraid to admit it. But she won't deny that she feels a little resentment towards them.
"THAT'S NOT THE ISSUE HERE. THE PROBLEM IS YOUR BLATANT DISREGARD FOR YOUR HEALTH!"
"And who are you to say those to me? My mother? you don't get the right to say those to me, damn it! You can be a bit too overbearing at times!" Koutarou inwardly flinched at the word.
'Overbearing'. It repeated in his mind like a broken record. He thought he would never hear those words again, but hearing her say that to him was something he wasn't expecting.
He's not going to lie, but it's like an old wound was suddenly ripped open to bleed. 'Too overbearing.'
The last time he heard those words, was the time when he felt entirely lonely. His passion for volleyball was misunderstood, often just dismissed as one of his eccentricities. He was so passionate and so eager to show himself to the world that he's best at volleyball that people started talking- murmuring that he's too much and that no one can keep up with him just because he's too much.
From an outside view, one would usually think that Koutarou has a lot of friends and is surrounded by a lot of people, but that's not true. Sure, he has friends in his class and some other people too, but he keeps them at arm's length. His real, closest friends are few, and can be counted with his two fingers. They're the ones who stayed with him despite all his flaws and eccentricities.
"I guess just wanting to see you safe is overbearing, huh? Is it overstepping for me to worry about the blatant disregard of my girlfriend in her life? If so, then go slip and land yourself in a coma again and see if I care!" In retrospect, he didn't really mean any of those words, not even one bit. But he was deeply hurt by what she said. For him, it was like she just told him that he can't tell her anything because their "in a relationship" status is something meaningless.
"Whoa!" Akaashi, who just arrived, suddenly went in the middle of them, blocking the views of each other. Following him was Kaori and Yukie, who didn't really know how to react so they were frozen in the sight they saw. "I think you two need to calm down."
'What the hell happened? It must be pretty serious since they don't raise their voices to each other...'
"Ugh, whatever. I'm leaving." Chuuyou then stood up and grabbed her bag, giving their table one last look before hobbling away. Her ankle was definitely hurting like a bitc at the moment, but she just can't stand their presence. Koutarou watched her walk away without a word, deciding not to chase after her and just silently laid his head on the table. He was feeling guilty for what he said, especially the last bit, but he was also feeling mad at her for what she said. Akaashi and Washio looked at each other questioningly, unsure of what to do now that they're ignoring each other.
'This... This has never happened before.'
· · ·
"So that's what happened..." I complained. It's been three days and today's now Friday ever since my fight with her and throughout that period, we had no contact with each other. She was avoiding me at school, and I do the same thing. There were also no phone calls or texts. While I'm itching to call her, I don't want to unless she apologies first. But anyways, I can hear Kuroo's humming in contemplation and the faint retro sound and a lot of tapping. Might be from Kenma. They're probably at the same place right now.
"Maybe she's on her period- OW! KYANMA!" Kuroo replied to me before a faint sound of something thumping and some shuffling. So Kenma is indeed there with him. I then heard whispers of arguing between them. Their muffled mini argument went on for a few minutes until Kuroo's loud sigh of defeat.
"Fine, fine. So it's not pms. I get it. I get it!" Kuroo said, dragging his voice. I coughed to try to grab their attention, but I was kinda ignored.
"This is why you'll never get a girlfriend."
"HEY! I CAN GET A GIRL IF I SO WANTED TO!" Kuroo shouted indignantly. His tone of voice then changed into a more sultry one. I can feel myself frowning from hearing that. "And who said anything about a girlfriend? What if I want a boyfriend inst- OW! OLAY I'LL STOP! DON'T THROW THAT TO ME! KENMA!" I'm not in there with them but I can imagine what Kenma looks like right now. He must be looking at kuroo disgustingly.
"Whatever. Back to the main topic please." Kuroo said dismissively, as if he was just remembering that I'm still here. Kenma also apparently calmed down. "Bro, I think you both made a mistake there."
"But I'm just worried about her!" I insisted. Is it wrong to worry about a person you care about? "She keeps getting into situations with that? What if the next time it happens..." I didn't continue what I was about to say, as it looks like Kuroo already knows what I'm trying to point.
"I know. I know. We all worry about her." Kuroo said, pausing slightly. "There's nothing wrong with us worrying for her, especially since she has some kind of recklessness paired with a strong desire to prove something. That combination is bound to result in some ugly things in the future. She's just… hmm, how should I say this… i don't really know how to word it." Kenma then said something I didn't really hear, since his voice is so quiet. "Hold on- lemme give this to Kenma." There was shuffling again, and the video game sounds way louder than before. It must be with Kenma now.
"Do try to think about it from her point of view." Kenma began tonelessly. "From what I know, she has an overprotective family and friends before who treated her like she's something fragile that would break very easily, stemming from because she was a sickly child because of her Addison's. She was surrounded with those kinds of people her entire life, and now she's sick and tired of that kind of treatment ." Kenma then paused as the sound of the game entirely faded out until only his voice was heard. "She just had her freedom from those kinds of people this time, so right now, she's hell bent on proving that she's not fragile. That she can handle herself without some people constantly fretting around her." Kenma sighed. "We were even one of the very few who didn't treat her like she was made of glass so she thinks she doesn't have to… restrict herself with us. Basically-"
"Uhuh-" Kuroo interrupted.
"she feels that we- you, are one of the people she can let her true self out. And suddenly, when the knowledge about her disease came to light, we started changing our treatment and started being more careful around her. She'll feel like it's the same thing all over again, and since she's too tired of that, she finally snapped."
"But that doesn't mean it's okay for her to say those things to you." Kuroo's voice then took over from Kenma. "She said some hurtful things that she has to apologize for- you both said some things you two have to apologize for. Especially the one bit about you not caring if she slips and- you know what I'm talking about. Do not ever say those kinds of things." He said firmly.
At the mention of that, I suddenly felt an overwhelming guilt. I don't really mean to say that- I don't even want to see and remember that time. I didn't have time to fester in my thoughts though, since Kuroo continued talking through the phone.
"Understanding and enabling something are often mistaken to be something similar or correlated with one another, but they're not. Like how Itachi massacred the entire Uchiha clan. We know why he did it and we sympathize with him- also Danzo is a piece of shit that needs to be hanged, drawn, quartered, and burned to ashes. But anyways, does it mean that Itachi was right to do that? NO! Planning a coup or not, massacre isn't the answer! What about the innocent children and the civilians who knew nothing about what was happening and died vainly because of him? People keep defending him like he's some saint who didn't do anything wrong. Some people need to get a grip on reality an-"
Why's he having an entire spiel about Naruto now…
"Kuroo you're getting off topic." Kenma interrupted tiredly. "And you probably need to lay off from watching Naruto..."
"Sorry." Kuroo dismissed. "But my point is, we both understand why you two reacted the way you do. Ishi's frustrated because she's tired of people hovering over her. You're frustrated that she can't see how she's not taking care of herself well. You both did something that hurt one another. I say you two should just apologize to each other and talk about it like the mature adults you are." Kuroo finished.
"Wow, so you do have some good advice sometimes." Kenma said impressed. A beeping sound was then heard before the song. So he must have started playing again.
"Hey, I give good advice if I want to." Kuroo sniffed.
"If you want to?" Kenma butted but Kuroo kept going.
"But Bo, just think about it alright? I can't have my favorite couple break up because of something so minor and can be resolved with proper communication. I'd rather that it's Daishou who gets broken up."
I mean, I'm still frustrated with her for saying those things. And I'm just worried. The last time she "slipped", she was unconscious for weeks.
She's not a quiet person. She's loud, very happy go lucky, and can't sit still. And whenever she's there, it's like everything becomes colorful and vibrant, especially when she sings. So It's so hard to see her so lifeless and unmoving, with so many medical things attached to her- like there was just something physically wrong with that. And I don't ever want to see her like that anymore.
I guess I was a little overbearing towards her. She told me so many times to stop treating her like- like she was made of glass that could easily shatter. And I know that she's strong there... I just can't help it! Whenever she puts herself in a dangerous situation, I can't help but worry for her. I'm afraid that it might lead to another hospital visit for her again.
I shouldn't have pushed her buttons too much by saying those things... And she shouldn't have said those things to me when she knew about that since I told her...
"Bo, are you still there?" Kuroo's voice snapped me out of my musings. I looked at my phone, forming my resolve.
We should talk things out.
"Yeah, I'm still here. " I sighed. "I think I'm going to talk to her."
"That's good. That's good. You know, there's a cute coffee shop near here in nekoma. It's a bit of a ride but I'd reckon that you two would immediately make up-" I ignored his ramblings about that coffee shop. It does sound nice based on his excited ramblings. Maybe we could go there on a date or something later.
I grabbed my Fukurodani jacket- it was the nearest thing my hand reached and quickly looked at myself in a mirror before nodding in contentment. Returning back to my bed where my phone was, Kuroo's still rambling on call.
"Thanks for the advice, Kuroo, Kenma." I said as I closed the door of my bedroom behind me when I walked out. "I'm gonna go talk to her now."
"Hold the fuck up lover boy-" Kuroo harrumphed. "Now? You're talking to her now? IT'S 3 IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT! WHO'S AWAKE AT THAT TIME? WHY DON'T YOU WAIT TO TILL SCHOOL LIKE A SANE, NORMAL PERSON, HUH?"
"I don't care. I don't think I could sleep with us still mad at each other. It's been three long days." I admitted. I wrote a small note and placed it in the fridge in the kitchen. Hopefully, someone sees that before they start thinking about things. Maybe I should leave a text to one of my sisters too? Just to be sure that they see it first.
"Dude, she might be already asleep right now! NO SANE PERSON WOULD STILL BE AWAKE AT DAMN 3AM!" Kuroo insisted, trying to stop me from what I'm about to do. But I'll still do it.
And um, if Kuroo didn't notice it, we're both awake and sleep deprived at the moment. Besides, why are you questioning me when you're the one staying at Kenma's at 3… I want to ask him that since it's kind of suspicious but I don't want to because they never brought it up even once whenever we talk… I guess I'll just let it slide till one of them mentions it. I glanced at the clock, and it's indeed already 3, nearly 4, and I haven't slept a wink today since it was bothering me extremely. In the past few days too.
And I know she won't be asleep. She has a hard time trying to sleep when there's something bothering her. She's probably still awake and doing all sorts of things to distract her from our argument.
"Thanks Kuroo." I said before ending the call and interrupting what he was saying. I even turned off my phone after sending a quick text to Kougyoku. I don't need any distractions right now. I'm not paying attention to anything at this time. Everything is a blur and all I could think about is talking to her.
I got out of the house and walked to the familiar path out of my street and on the way to her house. I've been there enough that the sight was super familiar to me, that I could walk there even with my eyes closed.
At the intersection where we usually separate ways, I stilled and almost dropped my phone in surprise. There she was, also bundled in a jacket far too large for her (I think I own that) and walking to what I assume is the direction of my house.
I can see her taking a sharp breath in as she stopped walking. She then sighed and mumbled something before walking again. At that, I wordlessly walked to, stopping only when we're right in front of each other, her hands in the pockets of my hoodie.
Honestly, it feels weird. Usually at this point, I would excitedly hug her and drag her somewhere so we could have fun and hang out. Not just standing in front of each other silently. I'm not used to this. I don't want to get used to this. Hoping and wishing that we would never argue again in the future is just a wistful thought. Everyone argues.
I just hope it's never something as bad as this ever again, nor it would result in us- ugh! so terrible I don't even want to think about it. I think this is even our first real argument? If that makes sense…
I'm so not used to this.
God, it's just been a few days and I miss her already. I don't like this. I don't like us arguing.
"So-"
"Um-"
I cringed as we both talked at the same time. I guess she also doesn't feel really comfortable with... Whatever this is.
"You first." I said. After a moment of silence between us, she sighed.
"How about let's talk somewhere more comfortable and not in the middle of the road."
"Sure."
· · ·
She led me to an abandoned place of some sort... There was an old playground. The swings have long snapped, and the slide and seesaws looked super rusty. Some vines were starting to cling on it. Faded childish doodles were written on the old playground equipment.
In front of it was a building of sorts that was chained up. Or so it looks like. She did some feeling around the chains and pulled it, and everything started coming undone. So it wasn't chained up, just made to look like it was.
This place was probably previously a daycare, I concluded as I looked around. There were various faded designs of cartoon characters. What I assume to be a previously bright wall paint long ago was now barely there. There were little tables and shelves left sitting alone in the middle of some of the rooms when we passed by it.
We climbed on the stairs, past the second floor, the third floor, and finally stopped on the rooftop. It was also disguised to be locked but actually wasn't.
The air of the morning greeted me. It was slightly cool, because the winter just ended, and at the same time, carried the musky smell of earth. Despite its outward appearance, it was actually well maintained on the rooftop. Someone must have been taking care of this place. The sky was still dark, but the millions of stars forming constellations that were visible gave it a sort of bright feel to it. The crescent moon, which was so high up there along with the stars, gives the impression that it was smiling at us. And with the silence of the night, where we could hear nothing except for our breathing and the occasional crickets, It feels magical.
I admired the view from up here. It was breathtaking. Sights like this are rare for Tokyo, since a lot of what we have are towering buildings and noisy vehicles.
"It looks heavenly, doesn't it? Like you've been brought to another planet." She muttered. I glanced beside me, where she was standing and was also looking up at the stars.
I sighed. As much as I want to stare at the stars, it's not what I came here for.
"You know..." I began unsurely. How would I say this... What should I say first?
Apologize.
Yes. I should apologize. Tell her I was sorry straight to the point. She doesn't like it when people beat around the bush.
"I'm sor-"
"I'm gonna stop you right there." She said, turning away from the sky and looking at me, interrupting what I was trying to say. "You have nothing to apologize for. I was the one wrong here. And for that, I'm the one who should be saying sorry to you." She sighed before muttering and sitting down on the concrete floor, patting the area next to her. Of course, I sat down to where she was indicating, and looked at her unsurely. "So Kou, I'm sorry. I'm really sorry for saying all those mean things to you. For snapping on you when all you did was care for me. I'm a horrible person for that." She sniffed lightly, and I can feel something tugging on my heartstrings at that. "I'm sorry Koutarou."
This really feels terrible. I hate it. I don't like that she's apologizing for something that I had a hand on. If anything, what I said was more terrible now that I think about it…
"Hey." I said softly and held one of her hands to assure her. "It's alright. Stop apologizing. And I kinda deserved that, since I know I've been pushing so much... I probably was getting a little overbearing, weren't I?"
Or maybe not just a little... People used to tell me that I was too overbearing and hyper, and that I should tone it down.
"No, no!" She hastily said. "You weren't overbearing at all. You were caring and nice. You have no fault really. It's all on me. I was the reason for that argument." From what little light the stars could provide us, I saw a tear roll down in her cheek, followed by a small hiccup from her. "I'm just so- so fucking tired of it Kou. Of people telling me that I should be careful because I'm delicate. Of people treating me like a fucking porcelain that can't do anything or else she would shatter to pieces. Of not being allowed to do anything since one small mistake or mishap would make people think I'll fall apart and have everyone hovering around me. I'm so fucking tired of it." She started sobbing, and I didn't really know what to say so I just moved in to hug her. "I'm so damn tired of that treatment. It's like people are breathing right next to my neck, holding me on a tight chokehold I could barely breathe."
So it is like what Kenma had said...
Regardless, I feel guilty for not seeing the extent of what she was feeling. She already told me a bunch of times not to fret around her and not to tread lightly, and still...
I held her as she cried without saying anything. It's painful to hear her loud sobs in the silence of the night, but I still didn't say a thing. I don't...
I'm not really sure what to say here, so I just hugged her tighter. Let her know that I'm right here next to her and will listen.
"I'm sorry. I'm sorry." She kept repeating like a mantra.
"Hey, it's fine." I began. "I..." What to say, what to say... Apologizing too feels like the wrong thing to say, since she said I don't have to apologize... That would just make her feel worse even if I need to apologize too. "I forgive you, really." I inwardly sighed in relief when I felt her still in those words. I must have said the right thing... "And I promise that I won't treat you like that anymore... I mean, I'll try to tone down the hovering, but you should know that I'll always worry and look out for you." I paused to glance down at her. "Though, you should try... Not to do things that would definitely raise the blood pressure of auntie Yuna. Remember jumping on the Han river that one time?"
That was my lame attempt at lighting the atmosphere. I hate seeing her cry since it looks so wrong to see.
"I definitely won't do that anymore, I promise." She giggled and leaned on the hug.
"You know, Chuuyou..." I said. I heard a hum as an answer to me. "I..." I love you. So much. That's what I want to say but resisted in saying so. "I care about you. A lot."
"Yeah?" She asked amusedly and lifted herself, detaching herself from the embrace and looked at me intently. Her eyes are slightly puffy, but it still looked like it was twinkling in wonder. Kind of like the stars. There were also dried tears on her cheeks. "I... I l- care about you a lot too, Koutarou."
Honestly I could get used to this. I mean, just us. Spending time together with each other alone.
Strange how those words aren't the exact one that I wanted to hear but it's enough to convey the sentiment. She might not be saying it outwardly but I know she feels the same. Before, 'Kaashi told me that she looks at me like I hold the entire world. And I didn't fully understand what he meant by that before but now, I think I know what he was trying to say. Cause right now, I know I'm looking at her like she's the greatest thing that happened to me. Well, she is.
"And besides-" I suddenly said, breaking the calm silence of dawn. "I still have to apologize-"
"What for?"
"You know, for saying that I won't care if you…" I winced as I remembered my harsh words. I can't even bring myself to say it. "I'm sorry. I don't really mean that at all. I just said it in the heat of the moment."
"We both said things because of the heat in the moment. And it's fine, I know you don't."
"Hmm…" I hummed as I tried to think of what to say. "I would never not care about you, you know that? I will always care and be worried about you."
"Me too."
I don't know how many hours have passed. Just that we were there and watched the sun rise together. It was an experience, I tell you. Watching the dark sky slowly start to get lighter and lighter, until the stars fully fade and are replaced with the blue, morning sky. Along with that, our previous arguments were forgotten, washed away in the night along with the rising sun, symbolizing the new day.
Because of Akaashi and her, I get poetic thoughts too.
What? Hearing them with all those flowery words and all is bound to influence me too.
We did fall asleep holding each other when the sun was already up. It wasn't that long sleep, maybe just a 30 minute nap that got interrupted because her sister called.
We made sure to "lock" the daycare again, making it look like it was completely untouched and abandoned.
Thankfully, I don't have volleyball practice, so it's not like I can't get to school a little later today. Though we're probably not going to feed the cats today...
We decided to head over to her house first. I'm just making sure that she'll be home safe... Auntie Yuna started scolding her again for sneaking out. She's now grounded for a week.
I shouldn't be laughing since I probably would be grounded when I get home.
I didn't stay for breakfast. I just quickly said my goodbye to them before going on my way back to my house, where Kougyoku greeted me unimpressed. She started lecturing me about sneaking out in the night to meet my girlfriend, with Kouha looking at me mischievously with her thumbs up from behind her. Mom was also there, but she just laughed it off.
Thankfully I am not grounded.
I do feel tired since I haven't got a wink of sleep today. It's worth it though. Even if this might cause me to fall asleep in class later on.
· · ·
"Have Ishi and 'Bo made up already? It's been three days." Konoha whispered conspiracy around the table. He grimaced as he glanced at the two empty seats, where they usually sit down. Akaashi shook his head in disagreement, gesturing to the other people there.
'I probably should have not brought it up when Ishi told me not to...' Konoha was feeling guilty, as he was slightly blaming himself for their argument. 'She did say to drop it but I kept bringing it up…'
Besides him was Komi, who was biting his lip nervously while waiting. They were surprised at how she reacted, finding it a bit of an overreaction until Akaashi explained to them what was probably going on her mind. Hearing that washed out their original thoughts since they finally saw it from another angle. And now, they feel guilty and want to make it up to her- to both of them.
"I don't know... They're probably still avoiding each other, seeing that none of them are here." Washio said. 'and none of us are in class 3-1 or class 3-7 so we don't really know...'
"Oh don't worry, they're just serving detentions right now." Yukie suddenly said as she looked up from her phone. "Eri just told me that the teachers caught BOTH of them sleeping in their classes and are now being punished by the vice principal. They're cleaning their classrooms along with some of the others who got caught so they'll probably be far later than us."
'Huh… first name basis…' Akaashi thought skeptically as he watched Yukie's lip curve to a faint hint of smile as she seemingly typed something in her phone. 'Either they became super close friends in the span of 2 months or there's something in there.' He continued staring at her, lightly clearing his throat to grab her attention but was ignored. 'There's definitely something, since I'm pretty sure Eri likes girls but whatever. It's not really my busin-' His train of thought was interrupted as he glanced at Komi who suddenly spoke.
"Both of them fell asleep?" Komi mused. "It's very out of character for them." 'Ishi doesn't like missing classes and Bokuto is too energetic to even fall asleep in class even if it's boring...'
"Wait, hold on… I texted Kuroo and he just told me something-" Konoha cut himself off as he read the message. "He said that Bokuto got out at 4 earlier to try to fix their little argument... Huh."
"They made up now?" Someone in their table questioned.
"I think so?" Konoha answered unsurely. "They probably did get to talk... Should we wait for them? Waiting an hour or two isn't really a big deal for us since we have nothing to do." 'I mean, usually at this time we were at volleyball practice but volleyball's no more for us so we don't really have anything to do?"
"Chuuyou said to go ahead since they might take longer and they'll just head home on their own." Akaashi said dutifully as he read the message. 'And they probably wanted a bit of privacy.' The others understood Akaashi's nuances even if he didn't outwardly say it, nodding together like they all had an agreement.
"So... They're going home together?" Komi clarified.
"Yes."
"Huh."
· · ·
"By the way," Koutarou said as he opened the windows and dusted the previously dusty rag he was holding. "That daycare... Was that a daycare?" Chuuyou nodded in agreement as she placed the broom on the side and started aligning the chairs. "How did you discover that place?"
"That's where me and Dowoon went to kindergarten." She shrugged. "We were along with the last batch of students who went there before they closed everything up. We often sneak there whenever we just want to be alone. Kind of like our own special place."
"Huh... Then shouldn't you have brought me there at all? If it was Dowoon and your special place...?"
"It's fine. He was the one who suggested to me to take you there." She paused for a bit, as if she was contemplating what to say and decided to pull down and sit on a desk. "He really scolded me last night... And told me that I was being rude to you for 'doing your job as a boyfriend'" she giggled while doing the air quotation marks.
"Dowoon? Really?" He asked skeptically. Throughout the months that passed, Koutarou and Dowoon formed a weird relationship. It was definitely not friendship, but they're not hostile towards each other either. It wasn't also an acquaintance casually talking, since they did get closer at that time they comforted each other when Chuuyou was at the hospital, understanding what each other felt at that moment. There's no word to describe their relationship, and if there is, then he doesn't know what it is.
"Yeah... I mean, I would still have apologized to you even if he didn't talk to me!" She hastily added. "But well, I was still in denial that I was wrong so it would have taken more time if he didn't slap me with the reality..."
"Hey." Koutarou dropped the rag he was holding to the floor uncaringly and leaned on the classroom wall to look at her, arms crossed in his chest as he looked at her scolding. "I know what you're thinking. I told you that It's fine. We're both sorry and we both forgive each other, right?."
'I would have done what she usually does to me... You know, the whole squeeze the cheeks thing but my hands are dirty.' he inwardly pouted. He couldn't do that at the moment, so he settled in just walking so he could sit next to her.
"Really?"
"Yeah! And besides-" he then walked to the empty seat next to her. "I also talked to Kuroo that time." He admitted sheepishly, slightly confused that she doesn't look that surprised about the information.
"I mean, I'm not surprised to be honest? I know you're super close with Kuroo and Keiji-"
"I hope you two are not slacking off?" A teacher harrumphed as he suddenly slammed the door open, startling the both of them. They stood up from their seats and bolted to the nearest cleaning materials, with Koutarou picking the rag he dropped earlier and Chuuyou picking a random broom on the side.
"No, Saruyama-sensei!"
"We just rested for a bit. We'll go back to cleaning now."
"Hmp. Just remember that you two are in detention. I better not catch you doing things other than cleaning the classrooms."
"Yes, Sensei!"
They went back to silently cleaning the classrooms in silence, content in the comfort of knowing that everything is now resolved and they're just content in enjoying each other's presence.
"After this, wanna go to Nerima ward?"
"What for?"
"Kuroo and Kenma suggested a coffee shop they frequently go to… they said it was a good place."
"Sure, why not. I still have savings so it should be fine…"
"This one's my treat though, since I'm the one who asked."
"And you're my boyfriend, not a money bank."
Another student, who was just minding his business as they cleaned the entire classroom, found himself slightly tearing while he dusted the shelf. He was one of the few students who was serving detention that day for being caught smoking cigarettes in school (and on his first time trying those, too!). He had been there the entire time, silently listening in envy as they talked to each other sweetly but it's like he was ignored since he's not that close with either of the two of them.
'Kami-sama, when is it my turn?'
· · ·
Sorry for irregular chapters lmao. School workload is killing me and i feel like they're trying to dump more works on us since Christmas break is nearing