A Way of Staying
Disclaim: I own nothing but love the team with Megan.
A/N: It's been four years; but the missing for her tells me that the journey with her is yet long... To seeking her trace, I pay more attention to Stephen King's new play with her and his books; and fortunately encountered his words—what's lost has a way of staying lost... It sweetly inspired me that would what's missing have a way of staying missing...about Megan's leave...about Speedle's death...about the lab... Then this fiction forms.
(The phone on the table rings in H's office.)
Horatio: Yes?
Receptionist: (v.o.) Lieutenant Cain, someone wants to see you...on visit...
Horatio: Yeh?...
Receptionist: (v.o.) It's...Miss. Donner...
Horatio: Megan?
Receptionist: (v.o.) Yes.
Horatio: ...
Receptionist: (v.o.) ...Should I...?...
Horatio: ...Noh, let her in!
(Few minutes later.)
Horatio: Miss your old friends nigh, Donner?
Megan: To be honest... Yep!
Horatio: Tut-tut! It's a surprise!
Megan: Yes, and your name is not on the top of my visit list.
Horatio: Did I ask?
Megan: You did...and you could.
Horatio: ...Okay! Let me guess: who bring me the honor to see you standing here, right in front of me, after four years' disappearance?
Megan: WOW! You are freaking me out...
Horatio: What?
Megan: Be over-cautious of your words through interrogation...
Horatio: Oh, I thought you are fearless?
Megan: I am serious.
Horatio: So am I!
Megan: You should know...you don't have to keep it from me; I understand.
Horatio: ...?
Megan: I'm sorry...about her mishap...
Horatio: ...
Megan: ...
Horatio: Well...you do have broad sources. Anyway...thank you for caring. I'm fine. Indeed!
Megan: Are you?
Horatio: ...You know...I had thought about inviting you to attend my wedding ceremony; but I was not sure whether you wanna hear anything from me, or meet the people here, who more or less connected to the lab...
Megan: ...
Horatio: I thought if you had found your peace and moved on, it might be better not to mention it to you, or at least, let you decided how to keep your memory around here... If you are going to complain about my...inconsideration, I'm sorry; I apologize. But even if you let me face it again, I'm sure would make the same decision...coz I think...it's the best...
Megan: ...
Horatio: ...?
Megan: You could save it.
Horatio: Un-acceptable?
Megan: I know how you think.
Horatio: Whoop... Your courtesy makes me feel a bit embarrassed.
Megan: Coz...it flashed in your mind?
Horatio: ...
Megan: ...Grief is grief?
Horatio: ...
Megan: ...
Horatio: Fine, it's shifting time. Would you like to stay minutes with me in a cemetery?
Megan: At parking.
Horatio: After you.
(At cemetery, walking towards Marisol's tombstone.)
Horatio: Lilac! It's always her favor...
Megan: I guessed.
Horatio: I thought you dislike its fragrance.
Megan: I do.
Horatio: ...?
Megan: I mean...whatever.
(Few minutes silence stands between them with Marisol.)
Horatio: Wanna have a walk round?
Megan: No problem!
Horatio: Just for asking, did Paul, your predecessor, once collected a painting names "Lilacs"?
Megan: ...
Horatio: The one by Jean Campinic, Belgian, during the nineteen's century?
Megan: Yes, it was big news in the lab! ...But precisely speaking, it is Mary, his wife, who purchased it from auction.
Horatio: And...lilac is also her favor?
Megan: Yep!
Horatio: Is it how you guessed?
Megan: ...
Horatio: ...
Megan: What a coincidence!
Horatio: Coincidence! As far as I know, it never exists in your dictionary.
Megan: ...Doesn't it? ...Bonne mémoire?
Horatio: Does she have something to do with my Marisol? Or...does my memory have something to do with your dictum?
Megan: Non! I just heard you are going to Brazil...
Horatio: So...
Megan: Arrival in Brazil doesn't mean you could get him later on.
Horatio: ...You are not going to stop me, are you?
Megan: Nope. I'm coming to help you.
Horatio: By...lilacs?
Megan: Not that way! ...I got something that you might be interested in...—the right place where the caller stays...
Horatio: But?
Megan: Jesus!
Horatio: See! Your pause sounds like a "but".
Megan: ...Alright! ...I cannot reveal his address unless you get me Speedle's gun...off record; and I'm know you still keep it in the lab.
Horatio: If you know where it is, you could get it over me.
Megan: That would cause extra troubles.
Horatio: So...I'm a shortcut.
Megan: If you want an alias?
Horatio: Why?
Megan: It's a piece of case for you; and you only have to drop...some letters.
Horatio: I'm not asking why I could make the deal; I'm asking why you want the gun.
Megan: I need it personally.
Horatio: Don't fool me, Megan!
Megan: ...It's the only way I could reach info about Mal Noche gang; and the only way I could get the right address.
Horatio: If you could... So do I!
Megan: Impossible.
Horatio: You are evaluating me?
Megan: You don't understand, Horatio! It's not that kind of released info you could reach directly from government database. It is guarded by security level; you cannot reach them.
Horatio: But you can.
Megan: Yes.
Horatio: How? How could you get them? How can I believe that the info you get is not fake?
Megan: I could make it.
Horatio: You cannot make it by your self.
Megan: ...I know a guy who was on secret service; he knows how to make it. And he is willing to help.
Horatio: Was?
Megan: Yes.
Horatio: ...Is it that guy who want Speedle's gun?
Megan: ...It's not important.
Horatio: ...Megan, what I cannot completely understand is: why the guy you know would take a big risk for Speedle's gun? Aren't you curious?
Megan: Actually...I asked, but he didn't tell.
Horatio: ...Is he reliable to you?
Megan: Sort of.
Horatio: Megan, I think you've already noticed that the entire lab is under secret watch, or we won't have a personal talk here; but what worse is...we have a mole...inside. It means I should be extremely careful about everything referring to the lab. If you are not sure that the guy is two hundred percent reliable, I couldn't stop thinking whether it is...another trap. And you are definitely clear that I am not personally against you.
Megan: I understand. On this point, you could trust him. He has no intention to ruin the lab or your group. You have my word!
Horatio: ...He did.
Megan: What?
Horatio: He told you.
Megan: ...?
Horatio: ...You are not a person who would use the word "trust" casually.
Megan: ...
Horatio: So am I.
Megan: ...
Horatio: Give me a reason.
Megan: ...
Horatio: ...?
Megan: I've let you ask too much...
Horatio: I'm sorry; you know I didn't mean it...
Megan: You give me the gun; I give you the info. It's the deal.
Horatio: If you don't tell me, I won't make it.
Megan: Think about Marisol; think about the scene of her dying...with your stay... The killer has to pay back! If you persist, you would miss this chance.
Horatio: As long as he is alive, I will get him.
Megan: But how long?
Horatio: As long as I can.
Megan: ...Your curiosity will kill you one day.
Horatio: You know me!
Megan: ...
Horatio: Why he want the gun desperately? And willing to take that huge risk? Why?...
Megan: ...
Horatio: Megan, is it true...that some guys working in the lab are donators, organ donator?
Megan: ...
Horatio: Does Speedle's name count?
Megan: ...
Horatio: Or does your guy and certain donatee share the sane name?
Megan: ...!
Horatio: I see. I see...
Megan: ...
Horatio: Megan, why not ask me for what reason I still keep Speedle's gun individually?
Megan: ...For something?
Horatio: For someone.
Megan: ...
Horatio: Coz I wish one day someone would come for it.
Megan: Not me!
Horatio: But you come...on behalf.
Megan: ...
Horatio: He should let you tell at first.
Megan: ...Would you give me the gun?
Horatio: Emn... Nope!
Megan: You have got your answer!
Horatio: Yes, I do...but not the point! ...Why does he want that gun?
Megan: ...He saw it!
Horatio: The retinas!
Megan: ...After that operation, weird images show up frequently in his dreams, and all scenes seem damn real, like a nightmare in the memory... To figure those phenomena out, he researched masses of similar cases and checked his medicine records in hospital underground...you know he could...and got the name-T.S... He followed the name, reached the story, but still held some strange feelings he couldn't explain... Until one day, he suddenly realized it's about the subject in his eyes--the gun...Speedle's gun...
Horatio: ...I didn't catch you.
Megan: What caused Speedle's death?
Horatio: ...Weapon malfunction.
Megan: What caused his weapon malfunction?
Horatio: ...Unclearness of gun-barrel.
Megan: Why it is unclearness?
Horatio: ...Coz Speedle didn't clear it in time.
Megan: How long did you know Speedle?
Horatio: About...three years.
Megan: Do you think he is that kind of guy...who would be careless enough to forget to clean his gun...and pay his life back...in a burst shoot-out?
Horatio: I...haven't thought that much.
Megan: You should.
Horatio: Is your guy suspecting someone who had touched Speedle's gun before his shift?
Megan: All that I know for now is: the gun is the key!
Horatio: It's not enough...
Megan: ...If you let me mention: Calleigh's bruise on her shoulder, Eric's finance problem with his sister, Ryan's accident on his eyesight, or even...who gave Marisol the diagnoses of her cancer...
Horatio: ...Wait! You mean...these accidents could be premeditated...and the diagnoses could be fake?
Megan: Everything is possible; but the lucky part is: you keep that gun harsh after.
Horatio: Woe! I'm not ready for any praise! Err...could it possible that the lab has been under watch ere long?
Megan: Might be.
Horatio: How long do you think?
Megan: ...
Horatio: ...?
Megan: I do have let you ask too much...
Horatio: Just keep on.
Megan: ...We, he and me, haven't got any physical evidence so far. It means everything is still under suspect.
Horatio: If it is under suspect, I'm connected already.
Megan: ...Guardness is enough for your present situation.
Horatio: Is my bride's death not enough for the ticket-in?
Megan: ...The closer you approach, the more perilous it would be.
Horatio: I deserve to know!
Megan: ...
Horatio: Tell me, please!
Megan: ...Mary died on her way to their son's house in three districts away. It is when she was crossing the street that a car abruptly came from the corner and hit her to death immediately... Paul exhausted all his strength on every possible evidence to trace that scourge until one day he found a clue which would possibly get the driver. He bought the ticket and planned to fly to seek the driver the next morning; but it was right the next morning we saw him dead at his desk...
Horatio: Doesn't his autopsy paper say he died of heart attack?
Megan: That's official bullshit! ...Sean was on Mary's case at that time with Paul and it was right that night Paul called him to meet in the airport the next morning. But when evidence collected, papers about that driver, which Paul once mentioned in his last call, were missing... Paul tried to find them but didn't make it...
Horatio: ...That's unreasonable.
Megan: Sean thought there are probably leaks in the lab, so we decided to trace those papers underground. When I took the lab, though more sources are available, we never got a chance to close...
Horatio: ...Mazes of suspicions!
Megan: Remember the "Lilacs"? The comments on Campinic's painting, his inspirations?
Horatio: I think I've read it somewhere before.
Megan: ...?
Horatio: ..."If there are...two similar patterns, there must be...a third...which was the original form of those two."
Megan: Oui
Horatio: ...Coincidence?
Megan: What do you think?
Horatio: ...The whole lab is on experiment!
Megan: That's what we are suspecting!
Horatio: Jesus Christ!
Megan: ...
Horatio: If I want it over...
Megan: ...!
Horatio: I would give you the gun.
Megan: Thank you!
Horatio: ...By the way, when can I meet your guy?
Megan: He won't see you...until necessary.
Horatio: It's okay.
Megan: ...You could conn...
Horatio: ...Could Sean possibly be a donator?
Megan: ...
Horatio: ...?
Megan: Is it not merely becoz I'm a shortcut that you are willing to give me the gun, right?
Horatio: ...
Megan: You might wanna stay for a while. Connect me when you are ready.
Horatio: See you later?
Megan: See you!
Horatio: ...
Megan: ...
Horatio: Convert my thanks to the son.
(Horatio added the last sentence when Megan walks few steps away. Megan doesn't answer or face back but she knows he guessed...both...)
Thank God that I finally make it! I know it's a long dialogue composed of lots of light memories. But I do think the idea is not-bad, so write it out. I know it might be a bit messy telling in this way, but really hope you could understand what I am saying. You could let me know whatever you think in your views; and I would like to read them.
Homer once said modesty is not good for a needy man. Haven't figured out what he really wanna say yet today. Maybe it is just kind of description of certain scenes, from a new angle? Or could I say—stay is not good for a missing guy?
Anyway thank you very much for everyone who has R&R so far!