Chapter 15 - Blooming Admiration

The air around Kaneki was refreshing, people in the park were smiling and talking. It seems like all the people around him were in the same wave as he was. Nobody doing any troublesome things, nobody crazy ruining his mood on that day, everything was going on so smoother ever since that night.

Kaneki looks up to the sky. The clouds were more fluffy than they were before, or perhaps those same clouds were the same, but he never paid attention to them. Kaneki slowly smiles and slowly closes his eyes.

A big rush of wind impacted Kaneki's eyes. Kaneki, stretching both of his arms and legs on the grass, laid down completely on the grass, without a care in the world. He didn't care if they're going to be people around him, weirdly looking at him. For the very first time, Kaneki felt relief. Is not like nobody has ever told him to relax and not to stress every single time of his life.

Heck, even Nishiki and Kimi had always given him tips through text. But he never paid any mind to it. But, it's just these past few days, ever since he has been relieving stress with Shachi in his gym. He feels he is seeing the world with another perspective. It almost feels like he is putting all the emotions he had for meeting new bizarre people into the gym and that felt extremely good. Shachi really has opened his eyes to the little things he had never seen.

Like for example, while trying to punch, the punching bag. Even though he didn't punch that bag well. Kaneki recognized while Shachi was observing him, that he didn't need to push things just like the other people did. Eventually, he will be good when the time comes. And that's one of the faults, he realized he had. Pushing himself sometimes, just to be around new people. If there's going to be people in your life, they have to accept you, for who you are. You shouldn't push yourself, for trying to be like them.

Another example is when he was meditating alongside Shachi. If he really wanted to distress himself and enjoy the full experience of meditating. Kaneki needed to look within himself, all those emotions he had bottled up, inside of him, and let them all out. One of the very first things he did, he told his mother, that she needed to stop greeting people inside of their house, just because they told her "Kaneki knows me", even despite having the protection of the White Suits. She really needs to be wary of people, so he can feel at ease while he is at work.

Even though the meditation helped him unbottle many emotions he had, it also came to his attention, he had an emotion he had never felt in such a long time ago. And that was love. Is not like Kaneki never fell in love before, he had his pair of crushes both girls and boys. But those were just crushes, that were temporary crushes that the wind blew away. But this kind of love, he is experimenting with right now, is new to him. Is more profound and it feels heavier just thinking about it. It almost feels like his heart is about to bury deep down on his chest. Every time, he thinks about that person.

Kaneki, still with eyes closed, started imagining that special person. Eyes as grey as the beautiful sky in the cloudy evening, skin as pale as the Daisies and hair as white as the snow. Kaneki opened his mouth and exhaled, his mouth curved in a smile. "Oh, how beautiful is finding someone that makes your heart melt…"

"Perhaps, you are in love, young man?" Came an unknown voice. Kaneki rapidly opened his eyes and sat down. His eyes rapidly wandered to see where the voice came from. There was a tall, dignified looking man with short, neatly combed black hair. He was seated in front of the benches in front of the grass, Kaneki was currently seated on. The man had his back reaching the back of the wooden bench and his face turned around to faze Kaneki.

Kaneki's eyes still looked at him, while the man had a calm look on his face. Kaneki's eyes wander around the grass to look for some explanation of why he was talking alone. But he didn't find any. So the best option was just to play along. 'Remember, always act calmly in bizarre situations. Breath and think. Just like Shachi said.' Kaneki still looked at the grass, inhaled and exhaled, and proceeded to nervously laugh. "Y-yeah…. Perhaps, you are… right.." Kaneki mumble. The man stared at him. 'Success! Not the best answer but at least it is not awkward! Pat yourself, you deserve it!'

"Who is madly in love?" came the voice of another stranger, who was coming in the right direction of the park. "Ah Mado, you really have a good ear." The man who is seated on the bench turned his face to view at the upcoming figure. The person in question is a middle-aged man with sunken cheeks, he has long, stringy, white hair and has a huge grin on his face. His body was slim and stooped shoulders. It's like he was shorter from his height but his face is quite weird. His eyes… it appears his eyes, one is squinting and the other is bulging.

He really has a weird face. But Kaneki calmed himself. He shouldn't judge people by their appearances. The upcoming man sat down beside the man on the bench. "Well, what can I say?" The older man started laughing, while the other just stared at him. "So, who is in love?"

"That young boy, right there." The man, with his hair, backward pointed his face in Kaneki's direction. The other man looked at Kaneki, still smiling, and nodded. Kaneki stared back at him. "Either way, Houji, how was the investigation? Did you and your partner find any leads?"

"Mado san, I will be glad to respond to all the questions you want, but right now we must eat. Remember we have a reunion after this with our supervisors." said, Houji. Mado stared at Houji and smiled, once again. "I got a hold of myself, I excuse myself ha ha ha…" Houji grabbed the bag that Mado was holding. He took out a medium-size sandwich wrapped in plastic paper. Houji carefully took the plastic paper apart, while he took small bites. Mado did the same.

Kaneki looked at them and looked at the ground. He later smiled to himself and shakes his head. He can't believe he was getting worried that Houji would judge him because he spoke loudly. He almost forgot that he didn't need to worry about other people's reactions. I mean, if he could care, right now probably one of the older men that were sitting on a bench would probably nag him and tell him, he shouldn't worry about it. Kaneki let out a small laugh and returned, eating the sandwich he held beside him.

"Now, that you were speaking of love. I remember when I first met my wife. It was really a breathtaking moment" Mado said. Houji, who was munching and nodding at the direction of Mado. On the other hand, Kaneki couldn't stop eavesdropping on their conversation. He knows it is incorrect, but something inside him tells him to do it. He doesn't know why. But, I mean, it is not like they will find out about it.

Houji munch the last bite of his sandwich. "Kazuka was indeed a really beautiful woman." Houji said. Mado grabbed a handkerchief he had in his pocket and slowly wiped some of the bread crumbs Houji had on his cheek. "Thank you, Mado san." Mado nodded and kept on biting on his sandwich. "Recently, I found out about Akira…" Kaneki almost choked on his sandwich. Both of the older men looked at him, with a questioning look. "Are you okay, young man?" Houji, said as he raised one eyebrow. Kaneki started stuttering but covered his mouth.

"U-um…. Yeah, sorry I just thou- I mean, I forgot- I mean…"

"Relax, young man we aren't interrogating you."

"No, um… I mean, I know. Sorry, just continue. Don't worry about me." Houji nodded and slowly moved his face. Kaneki started smiling since Mado kept staring at him, without smiling, his eyes still doing the same reaction. It almost feels like he was inspecting him. "..So back in theme… Mado san, Mado san?" Houji, move his gaze to look at Mado. Mado still locked his eyes on Kaneki, then he smiled at Houji. "Ah yes, continue, you were talking about Akira."

"Well.. as I was saying. My coworker Seidou, said that lately, they have been fighting over someone they both like. Do you perhaps think it is Amon?" said, Houji. Kaneki drank his water rapidly. Making loud slurping noises. Mado glanced over his shoulder, without moving his head.

'Relax Kaneki, remember what Shachi told you. In case of panic situations, breathe in and breathe out.' Kaneki started breathing, without looking all panicked. "You know Mado san, I will encourage Seidou to at least confess his feelings towards his crush."

Kaneki stood up faster than lighting. His heartbeat is faster than usual. The two men stare surprised at him, with both of their eyes wide open. Kaneki looks at them and closes his mouth with his hands. Eyes looking at everything but them. "Aha! LOOK!" Kaneki shouted. Kaneki signals to his wristwatch, mouth wide open.

"It's so late! Oh my goodness, my lunch shift will end soon! I better get going or my boss would yell at me!" Kaneki grabbed some of the stuff he had around him and ran away immediately from there. His emotions got the best out of him. If Shachi was here, he will probably have beaten some sense to him.

Houji glanced at Mado, who was still looking at the departing figure of the young boy. Houji slowly smiled and closed his eyes. "He seems like a decent kid, don't you agree Mado san?" Mado was still looking at the departing figure of the boy. "Don't judge him, okay? As for me, I think he is a good kid just like Seidou described him. I'm proud that Seidou is having a decent crush. Lately, I thought he would always be obsessed over Amon." Houji slipped a small chuckle. Mado stood up and grabbed the bags and crushed it, he slowly walked away. "You're way too old, to get jealous, Mado san."

"I'm not and I'm not old!" Houji stood up and walked towards Mado. "Yes, whatever you say, Mado san."

Kaneki realized today was a good day even putting aside what had happened to him, during lunchtime, today was fine. In the morning as always he greeted the White Suits and was driven by the Tsukiyama's to work, but aside from that nothing bizarre happened. During the day, Yoshimura had told all the staff there will be a reunion, at the closing time of the cafe.

So, as they were waiting for Yoshimura to appear. Koma was wiping some dust from the counter. Irimi put both of her hands on the counter. Koma smiled and closed his eyes. "Irimi chan is rude putting your hands where there are people cleaning it." Irimi gave Koma a disinterested look. Koma's eyes snapped and his eyebrows started twitching. "You have 5 seconds to put your hands where they belong! Or else you will feel the wrath of the devil ape"

Irimi bent over the counter, putting all her front on it. While still not breaking eye contact with Koma. Koma glares at Irimi, trying to remove her from the counter, with his white cloth.

"5"

"4"

"3"

"2"

"Irimi, I had it with you! C'mon the devil ape will destroy you!"

"Alright, this Black Dog will put you in your place!"

Kaneki stood up from where he was reading to stop Irimi and Koma from fighting, but just when he was between them, Yoshimura had come through the front door. "Good evening, my dear staff." Both Irimi and Koma went in a line formation and vow down. "Good evening, manager." Kaneki panicked at what his senpai's did and so he did the same. Yoshimura took his grey coat and grey hat and hung it on the nearby black coat rack they had.

Yoshimura smiled at them and went inside the staff room. Koma told Kaneki to sit down for the meeting. Kaneki nodded and grabbed a small notepad and a pen he had on his waist apron. Irimi, who was seated next to Kaneki, elbowed Koma, who glared at her while doing so. Koma looked at what Kaneki did, and both of them smiled at Kaneki.

Yoshimura returned from the staff room with a key and went towards the counter. Koma stood up and helped Yoshimura with the big box they brought in front of everybody. "Thanks, Koma!" Yoshimura patted Koma, while Koma responded with a cheeky grin and a wink towards the direction of Irimi. Who just looked at him in annoyance.

"Is the time of the month! So who would do the honors of helping on the "Secret Book Giver?" Irimi stood up before Koma and went to the other side of Yoshimura. "Thanks, Irimi chan." Irimi nodded and stuck her tongue out towards the direction of Koma.

Just when Yoshimura opened the box, from the top, he stopped before grabbing a book. "This time, there was a catch, nobody took the pictures. They just leave a message and we need to guess by handwriting."

"Manager, that's awful of you." Koma said as he chuckled. "Hey, Koma, stop acting like you didn't know about it. Yoshimura texted us, talking about the change." Kimi said. "What, I just wanted to lighten the mood." They all smiled, while Kaneki nervously smiled.

'They didn't tell me anything about the change. I just thought it was odd that they didn't do the book giver every week. Perhaps the manager forgot about telling me?' Kaneki thought to himself. Of course, he would feel sad, but he shook those feelings away. Maybe, the manager could have a reason why he didn't tell him the changes.

Irimi grabs a book from the box. On top of the book, it had a sticky note. Irimi took and read it. "Your skin is very delicious…" Kaneki got startled. Koma rubs his chin, in a thoughtful movement. "That's a tricky message, it could be anyone. What's the book about?" Kaneki looked to the ground in embarrassment. He gulped. He sorta has an idea of who wrote that. But he wasn't 100 % sure. Irimi showed the front of the book in front of her. There was a woman who was seated, slightly smiling, her light blue dress was loose, and her right breast was uncovered, exposing her nipple.

"Le- Le… Les?" Irimi stuttered. "-Les Lia...iso…" Irimi said.

"Liaisons... Irimi chan." Yoshimura said. Irimi apologetically blushed. Yoshimura just smiled at her, he took the book and examined it. He made a sound of approval. "Les Liaisons Dangereuses. This really is a good book. Of course, it's mostly erotic content." Koma whistle. Kaneki started sweating. If he wasn't sure later, he was now 100 % sure that the person was Tsukiyama.

Yoshimura glanced at Koma and Kaneki. "¿So, any guesses?" Koma gritted his teeth and quirk an eyebrow. "Perhaps, Tsukiyama? I know that guy is over-obsessed by the french culture." Kaneki's eyes lit up and hugged Koma. Koma looked surprised but returned the hug towards Kaneki. "Thank you, Koma!" Koma looked at Irimi, who just shrugged in return. Koma looked back at Kaneki and awkwardly nodded at him.

'Safe by the devil ape!' Kaneki thought. "Okay… that's one for Koma…" Irimi bluntly said. "Put more emotions to it!" Koma said. "No!" Yoshimura grabbed another book. "For the love of my older brother…" Both Irimi and Koma confusedly stare at Yoshimura. "And the title is, ´Daddy, Long, Legs'." Kaneki puts his head on the table, slightly slamming it in frustration. 'Jeez Hinami, I know that you admire me… but c'mon this is just too much, isn't it?' Kaneki thought.

"Ah, Kaneki, maybe you have the answer?" Yoshimura said. Kaneki didn't move and muttered a low 'Fueguchi Hinami´ that Yoshimura caught from. Yoshimura nodded and gave him a point. He wasn't happy at all by that.

After many books that were given and all those noticeable admirers that the shop had. Kaneki won after all since he guessed all the people who had given books. Kaneki wasn't all that thrilled that he won. The only one who was all riled up was Yoshimura. He exclaimed ´This was the very first time, they had all this amount of donations.' Apparently they only have 3 or 4 books in a month, if they were lucky. And one of the reasons why they had it weekly, is because people left magazines or pamphlets, so they went with that.

One of the many reasons, why Yoshimura persisted on the box idea, was because of his deceased wife. She was a more vivid reader than Yoshimura was. She also liked the idea of people sharing reading material. And apparently according to Koma, she was the one who introduced many novelists to her daughter, Eto.

Even though Yoshimura persisted with the idea after his wife died. He also hoped for his daughter to make a donation, one day. Even though Kaneki was introduced to those revelations, the only thing he was impacted by, was the final book revealed. Even though, it was uncommon from him. He asked Yoshimura if he could buy the book that was donated. Yoshimura gave it to him, without hesitation along with the paper.

Kaneki passed his hands through the paper note, as he was walking down the road. When he arrived at a nearby park, he sat down on a bench. He took the book from his backpack and glanced at the title. "The Secret Garden." Kaneki opened the book, the pages were worn out, but the cover was still intact. It almost felt like the book was in the middle of the war. It was about to be intact but at the same to be destroyed in seconds.

Kaneki knew that feeling…

But that wasn't the reason why he grabbed the book. It was actually the note, who came with the book.

"Two worst things that can happen to a child is never to have his own way - or always to have it."

I am ashamed to tell you, that I still don't know what path to take.

Sincerely, Aspiring Shooting Star

Even though Kaneki didn't connect the dots right away at the cafe. As time had passed and nobody had guessed who was the one who had donated the book. Yoshimura didn't reveal it, since Kaneki had all the major points anyway. Although, the message was cryptic. Kaneki picked his interest and asked who was the one who wrote it. And apparently the book was given anonymously.

And it was rare because the book donation has to pass through an employee to get inside of the box. Yoshimura didn't put it, neither him nor Irimi. The only option left was Koma. But Koma had said when he was about to close down one night. The book was found on top of the box.

"Hey, Koma! Remember to close down the store. I'm leaving early for my book review club." Irimi exclaimed as she took her waist apron and put it on her locker. Irimi looked for a response and upon not hearing one. She peeks her face through the storage room where Koma was dancing with some round and big earphones. Irimi clicks her tongue and stomps her way towards him. Irimi grabs one of the earphones. "I SAID! CLOSE THE STORE I'LL BE LEAVING EARLY!" Koma flinched and almost jumped from where he was. He closed one of his eyes and raised both hands in defense.

"Aahh… you shouldn't scream!" Irimi just rolled her eyes. "Look, there's still one customer in the cafe. The person is on the second floor. Dismiss them, after you close everything, alright?" Koma pouted but grinned at her. He pointed to himself. "Don't worry, you can always count on the devil ape!" Irimi blankly stared at him and went away.

It was 6:40 pm. '¡It's closing time!' Koma thought. As he went upstairs to dismiss the only client they had left. Koma went to search for the client but he didn't see one. "That's really strange, I swear Irimi told me, there was someone up here. I even heard footsteps, when I was on the first floor. Alright… the devil ape... " Koma looked through all the rooms and sections but saw nobody. His body began trembling and his breath started getting heavy. "No! NO! The devil ape doesn't believe in ghosts!" Koma searches once again in all the rooms. But still, it was all empty.

Koma's heart beating really fast, eyes wandering through the room. He clenched his fists and gritted his teeth. There are many explanations for this, let's think. The devil ape won't be scared for a simple problem. Now, Irimi told him that there's one customer up here. Perhaps, she only wanted to mess him up? This is not the first time, Irimi would play pranks on him. Heck, he had also done several jokes to her! But that doesn't explain the steps he heard earlier?

Koma shook his head and nodded. This won't get him to it. It's better to brush it off, rather than having lingering thoughts that won't be of any use. Koma went downstairs, to clean some dust off, after closing the store. 'Is better if I linger my thoughts on something else..' Koma thought. As he went his way to the staff room. He stopped midway after noticing a book placed on top of the box of "The Book Giver". Koma smiled and started sweating. He went towards the book. He moved his way behind the counter and placed the book on the entrance it had, facing the counter.

Koma didn't say anything. He just wanted to be out of there, at fast as possible! Koma tried to sweep as fast as he could. As he was sweeping he noticed a sticky note that was on the floor. Koma picked it up.

"If I remember correctly, it said… something in the lines like…" Koma closed his eyes, as he was trying to remember something. "Um... I had dark hair… guitar maybe… but still, I vaguely remember I don't know all fully. But I know the 'dark hair' and 'guitar' was present. And the sticky note had the same color as the sticky note that book has."

Kaneki still had those lingering thoughts. His heart started beating fast. His chest felt heavier. Now, all the dots have been connected. Kaneki placed one hand on his chest, he started breathing hard. Who could have told? The teenager he met when he was a child, was the same man, he just met recently. What really are the odds, really.

After contemplating for a while. Kaneki decided to visit him. He wanted to clear some things or at least just talk to him. He didn't want to interrogate him. He just wanted to know, how he still remembers him? How did he connect that the kid that was all alone in the park was him? So many questions and so little time.

When he arrived at the place, he went towards the reception desk and asked for his name and apparently he wasn't here. He asked if he is going to work tomorrow. But the secretary was a little hesitant to give him personal information. Even though Kaneki thought it was rude for her to say it like that. Kaneki calms himself and asks for Hirako. Perhaps, Hirako knows where he was. He asks for Hirako and just like that man, Hirako wasn't also in the place. He didn't ask for his whereabouts because the lady looked annoyed.

Kaneki left the building, with still some pain on his chest. He knew that if he didn't talk to him or at least know where he was. He wouldn't be sleeping peacefully that night. Kaneki moved back and forth, sharing some weird glances by the people who passed by. Kaneki didn't want to do this, because he thought he might sound 'aggressive' or 'obsessive', but just like Shachi had told him, he didn't need to rely on the thoughts of other people. So, he texted Hirako.

Hello, Hirako

¡I hope you are having a good day and also a very happy week! I'm sorry I texted you all of a sudden. It's, just. I came here for a consultation since I wanted to talk to you but you aren't here? I'm sorry for being direct…

Sincerely, Kaneki Ken

Kaneki closed his cellphone and put it in his pocket. He rubbed his hands together. Kaneki hopes for the best.

Hello, everyone. I hope you enjoy the story so far. I am very glad that must of you, are also enjoy it. And that makes me very happy. I hope you still continue reading it!

By the way, the books mentioned in this chapter are really good. I highly recommend them. Especially "The secret garden", the book really change my thoughts when I was in primary.

If you like the story, don't be afraid to leave some reviews. They've always appreciated it!