Michael rushes into Chili's to find Jan and Christian waiting to be seated. He briefly looks around to see if Dwight and Karen have arrived yet, but they haven't.

"Michael, you remember Christian."

"Of course." They shake hands. "Sorry I'm late, I, uh, was having some women's troubles." He nudges and winks at Christian, who looks uncomfortable. Michael then looks into the parking lot and sees Dwight and Karen getting out of the car. "Uh, is our table ready yet? Slow service, huh?"

"Well, we just got here," says Christian. "But it's fine, I can wait."

Michael peers outside again to see Dwight and Karen approaching and starts fidgeting. "Uh, Michael? Is there something wrong?" Jan asks.

"What? Oh, no, nothing's wrong. I'm just anxious to get seated, that's all. Oh look, there's a table opening up. Why don't we go wait in front of it so they don't give it to someone else?"

"Uh..." Christian looks around to see that there's no one else waiting for a table, while Michael grabs three menus from the hostess and weaves his way past several groups that are making their way out of the restaurant. Jan lets out a small sigh and gestures for Christian to lead the way. He does so, and she follows.

Dwight and Karen enter the restaurant. She's laughing. "Oh please, beets?"

"Yes, it's true! The Romans used them to treat fevers, wounds, constipation... as an aphrodisiac..." he says, while raising an eyebrow.

She giggles. "Well, we'll just see about that."

Michael, Jan, and Christian are standing near an empty table, waiting for a waitress to finish clearing it off. Michael glances towards the front and sees the hostess leading Dwight and Karen to a table about halfway across the restaurant. Finally, the waitress finishes, and they sit down.

Jan gets down to business. "All right, now I understand that there have been a number of budget cuts recently?"

Christian answers. "Yes, well as you know, this has not been a good quarter for Lackawanna County, and, well, it's going to be difficult for us to, here, if you'll just look at these numbers..." He pulls out a report and starts discussing it with Jan. Michael, however, is distracted and keeps looking over at Dwight's table. Karen appears to be enjoying herself.

"Michael?" Jan is staring at him.

"Yes, Jan?"

"Do you?"

"Do I what, Jan?" He chuckles and then glances over at Christian, who looks unamused.

She sighs. "Do you have the report on the current estimates for the upcoming year?"

"Whhhaaaaa..." All three are frozen in time for a moment.

Finally Jan reacts. "All right, well, I think I have a copy with me here, let me check..." She starts looking through her papers while Michael turns back towards Dwight's table.

(---

"Of course, the customer always comes first. Well, that's not always true. If I were stuck on a desert island, and I had to choose between a beautiful, sexy woman and a customer, I'd choose the woman every time. Unless she also turned out to be the customer. Ooh, then what kind of business would I be in? Boink!"

---)

Jim and Pam walk into the restaurant. They look like quite the couple of characters. Jim is wearing a fedora, sunglasses, a red scarf, and a madras blazer, while Pam is wearing a bandana, sunglasses, a boa, and a small baby blanket wrapped around her shoulders like a shawl. They get a few strange looks from other customers, but neither Michael nor Dwight notices them.

Pam almost bumps into a plant. "I can't see in these things," Pam says, taking off the sunglasses.

Jim takes them from her. "Well, if you can't see them, they can't see you, Pam. But if you want to risk it..."

She smiles. "I'll take my chances."

Jim asks for a table for two, and the hostess directs them to a booth with a clear line of sight to both Michael's and Dwight's tables. They both sit in the same side of the booth. Then they both prop their menus up in front of them and peer over the tops at Michael and Dwight. From what they can see, it seems that Jan is constantly getting annoyed with Michael, while Dwight and Karen seem to be having a good time.

Jim spots a waitress walking towards the table. He quickly turns to Pam. "Uh, quick, we need to come up with codenames."

"Codenames? Okay..." She thinks for a moment. "How about Boris and Natasha?"

"My Russian accent sucks," he says in a poor Russian accent. "Plus, you don't look like a Natasha."

"I thought I was going to be Boris," she says with a smile.

"I know, I'll be Ross and you be--"

The waitress comes up to their table. "Hi, my name is Lindsay, and I'll be your server this afternoon."

Jim pulls the brim of his hat down a little lower and gestures towards Pam. "Well, Lindsay, we will be your customers this afternoon. This is my good friend Rachel," he says in a poor Russian accent.

Pam giggles and gestures towards Jim. "Yes, and this is my good friend--"

"Jim? Is that you?" Lindsay asks. Pam is taken aback for a moment. She looks at Lindsay for a second, and then turns to Jim, who's guiltily taking off his hat.

(---

"Lindsay? Oh, we're sort of friends."

---)

"Is my accent really that bad?" he says with a smile.

"What, did you think I wouldn't recognize my favorite customer?" she says with a wink. Pam looks uncomfortable. "I didn't think I'd see you again so soon."

"Well I'm sorry I ruined your day."

"You should be sorry! What are you doing here anyway?"

"Oh, actually we're here on a top secret mission for work. Very hush hush." He turns briefly towards Pam, who doesn't know what to say.

"I see. Well, I guess I haven't seen you today, then, have I?"

"No you haven't." He smiles, and Lindsay laughs. Pam just looks at them both.

"All right, well can I start you off with something to drink?"

"Just water for me is fine. And for you, Rachel?" he says with a smile.

"Uh, can I get a beer?"

"Sure, I just need to see your ID."

Pam is reaching into her purse when Jim quickly interrupts her. "Uh, you know, Rachel, it might not be a good idea to be showing your driver's license around. I mean, someone could, you know, take a photocopy of it and use it against you."

She looks at him and then realizes what he means. "Oh, you know what? I think I left it at the office anyway. I'll just have a water."

"Two waters, coming right up." Lindsay walks away. Jim watches her for a moment and then turns back to Pam, who is also watching her walk away.

----------

Halfway through the meal, Karen still appears to be entertained. "You do not."

"Yes I do."

"Okay, name them."

"One, a blow to the temple. Two, choke hold. Three, head wrench. Four, full nelson. Five..."

Jim and Pam are just close enough to overhear their conversation. "All right," says Jim, "if he can make it all the way to fifty, I'm never bothering him again." Pam laughs, but then suddenly stops as Lindsay approaches the table again.

"Is everything all right?" Lindsay asks as she refills their water glasses.

Pam just nods. Jim says, "Yes, everything's great. Well, except for one thing."

"What?"

"Well, there's this waitress that keeps coming over and refilling our water! I mean, is she trying to drown us?"

"Well maybe she just wants to make sure you don't go thirsty."

"Maybe. But if you see her, tell her I know what she's up to. That'll slow her down."

"All right," she says with a giggle.

Pam has already returned to listening to Dwight. "Twenty, a kick to groin. Twenty-one, a punch to the Adam's apple. Twenty-two..."

(---

"She's...nice. I don't know. She's nice."

---)

Across the room, Michael is barely paying attention to Christian. "Now, what I really need is some sort of guarantee. Would that be possible?" Pause. "Michael?"

Michael glances over at Dwight's table to see Karen laughing. "Uh, could you excuse me one second? I need to...uh...go to the bathroom. Here, have some fries."

Jan watches incredulously as he gets up from the table and walks across the room away from the bathrooms. "Michael? Michael!"

He proceeds to walk up to Dwight's table. Neither Dwight nor Karen notice him at first, so he clears his throat. "Michael!" Dwight says.

"What?" asks Karen.

"Oh, uh, sometimes I, uh, say my own name when I'm surprised, make sure I'm paying attention--"

Michael interrupts. "Well, Michael, funny I should run into you here!"

Dwight's response is very deliberate. "Yes, it is funny that I, Michael, should run into you, uh...Dwight, here." Michael frowns slightly.

"Oh, so you're Dwight?" asks Karen. "It's nice to meet you." She extends her hand.

"A pleasure to meet you." He reaches down and kisses her hand. She blushes.

Dwight chimes in, "Yes, Dwight is my assistant regional manager."

"Oh? You two do seem like you get along pretty well."

"Yes, Dwight is an absolutely fantastic assistant and a dedicated worker. He's never missed a day of work. He was also salesman of the year this past year."

"Oh yeah, well, Michael was also salesman of the year, two years in a row, in fact, back when he was still a salesman, and he has a plaque and a certificate to prove it. In fact, he was such a good salesman that he was one of the youngest ever to be promoted to manager."

"Wow, that's quite impressive," says Karen to Dwight.

"Yes, it is," says Michael. "And you know what's even more impressive about Michael is that he's so modest about his achiev--"

Jan walks up. "Michael, what's going on? Dwight? What are you doing here?"

Michael jumps in. "Wuh...uh, Karen, this is our boss, Jan. Jan, Karen."

Jan gives a fake smile. "Nice to meet you." She turns back to Michael. "Now, what are you doing?"

"Uh, we were just, uh..."

Dwight adds, "Yes, we were just, uh..."

"...uh, discussing strategy for the upcoming quarter, weren't we?" asks Michael.

"Yes, strategy for the upcoming quarter," confirms Dwight.

"We wanted to make sure..."

"...uh, make sure..."

"...that, uh, Lackawanna County had all their needs provided for."

"Yes, the county."

Jan is skeptical. "Look, I don't know what's going on, just...get over here, Michael." She walks off.

Karen looks at Dwight, who's looking at Michael, who's looking at Karen. Nobody's moving. Finally Karen says to Dwight, "She sounded pretty upset. Aren't you going to...?"

Michael jumps to action. "Hey, you know what, Michael? You stay here, enjoy your date. I'll handle this one." He gives Karen a smile before walking back to his table.

"He seemed nice," she says.

----------

It's nearing the end of the meal, and Jim and Pam are just about finishing up. Lindsay comes by to clear some of the trays and bring the check. Pam reaches into her purse to get out some money, but Jim stops her.

"Hey, it's on me," he says, and places a credit card on the table.

"Quite the gentleman, I see," Lindsay says as she takes the card away.

By this point, Pam has become somewhat annoyed. Jim notices. "Hey, is something bothering you?"

She pauses, then shakes her head for a second or two before swallowing and saying, "No, it's just...this boa is really itchy." She takes it off.

Jim turns to Dwight's table. Things have started turning sour. Dwight is demonstrating the proper method of committing seppuku with his steak knife.

"First, the hero plunges the knife into the left side of his abdomen." He violently demonstrates, shaking the table. Karen reaches out to steady her water glass. "Then he makes a long, gruesome cut from left to right." He pulls the knife to the right slowly, dramatically contorting his face and gagging as if in agony. Karen watches, mildly horrified.

(---

Dwight vividly demonstrates once again for the camera.

---)

"Finally, a quick upward thrust..." He violently demonstrates. "...spilling the intestines. Then the hero's friend, uh, here..." He uses one of his hands to pick up his butter knife and then offers it to her. She hesitantly takes it. "...comes up behind him and strikes him in the back of the neck..." He uses his hand to demonstrate. "...severing it, leaving the head dangling by a small strip of flesh." As an example, he holds up his drinking glass by a point on the rim so that it lightly sways back and forth. He beckons for her to try.

"Uh..." She slowly puts the knife down. "I think I understand."

Jim turns to Pam. "All right, I'll be right back." He takes off his scarf and sunglasses and goes over to Dwight's table as Pam watches.

Dwight is surprised to see Jim. "Jim! Shouldn't you be at work?"

"I'm on my lunch break. Shouldn't you be at work?"

"Yes, well, I...am also on my lunch break. And, as you can see, I am also entertaining someone, so if you don't mind..."

"Hi, I'm Jim." He extends his hand.

"Karen." She shakes it.

"So have you two been going out long?"

"Um, actually this is our first date," she answers.

"Really? Because Dwight's always talking about how he has a girlfriend, and..."

Dwight interjects. "Yes, well, uh, maybe he does, but I do not."

"Wait, I'm confused, do you or don't you?"

"No, I do not. Well, not yet, anyway." He looks at Karen, who looks uncomfortable.

"Okay, I'll leave you two alone in just a second," says Jim to Karen. "I just need to ask Dwight a question."

"Fine," says Dwight.

"Oh, I think he's over at that table," says Karen, pointing to where Michael is sitting.

Jim pretends to be confused. "What?" He turns to look.

Dwight hurriedly jumps in. "Uh, wait, um, what's the question?"

"Oh, I just wanted to know if you, Michael, or anyone else knew anything about our next quarter strategy regarding the needs of Lackawanna County."

"No, I don't know anything about that. Now, if you'll excuse us..."

Karen jumps in. "Wait, isn't that what Dwight was talking about earlier in his meeting with Jan?"

"You were talking with Jan?"

Dwight is getting flustered. "No, Dwight was." He hits Jim.

"So you were."

"No, I wasn't." He hits Jim again.

"Why do you keep hitting me?"

As Pam watches the ordeal, Lindsay comes back to the table with the check. "Oh, where did Jim go?"

Pam tells her, "Oh, he'll be right back. He's just..." She turns to Dwight's table. Dwight is getting increasingly agitated. Karen is getting increasingly confused and uncomfortable. She smiles. "...he'll be right back."

"All right, well he just needs to sign."

"Okay." Pause.

Lindsay suddenly looks very serious. "Um, I'm sorry, maybe it's not really my business, but you and Jim, are you two...?"

Pam hesitates briefly, but then quickly responds. "Oh, us, no, we're not..." She's searching for the right words. "We're just work friends."

"He must be pretty popular down at the office, huh?"

"I guess so."

"Well, okay. It's just because you two, you know, seem to get along really well."

"Yeah, well, I'm, uh, actually, um, getting...Wait, so how do you know Jim?"

"Um, actually I just met him recently."

"Oh really?"

"Yeah, he, uh, he started coming in here last weekend. He'd sit at the bar, have a drink or two. He actually looked sort of depressed."

"Really?" Pam suddenly becomes very concerned.

"Yeah. Then one night I asked him what was wrong, and he just started talking, rambling almost... But I enjoyed listening to him. He's been here every night since." Pause. "He's really nice to talk to, you know."

"Yeah...I know."

"Well, anyway, I should get back to work."

"Okay."

Lindsay is about to walk away, when she suddenly stops. "Oh, can I ask you something?"

"Sure."

"Do you know someone at your office named Pam?"

At first, Pam doesn't understand. She pauses for a second, and then starts, "Wha...um...I..."

"Oh, you know what? It's probably none of my business; I...I shouldn't be asking that. Never mind, forget I said anything." Then she walks away. Pam is left somewhat stunned.

A few moments later, Jim returns to the table. He takes a look at Pam, who looks confused. "Hey, are you okay?"

She doesn't react for a moment, and then she turns to him. "Yeah, I'm fine. Must've, um, been something in that fajita."

"Maybe they found out you were banned and slipped you a mickey."

She smiles. "Yeah, maybe..."

He signs the check. "All right, let's get going." They gather their stuff, and while Jim is putting on the hat and scarf, Pam can't keep her eyes off him. "Ready?" He turns to her.

"Uh..." She looks away. "...yup." She puts the boa back on.

Just as they're about to leave the table, Lindsay comes back to clear it. "All right, Lindsay, you take care," he says.

"I will. You too, Jim. Nice to meet you, Rachel." Pam nods her head. Pause. "Hey, Jim?"

"Yeah?"

"Maybe I'll see you later tonight?"

"Maybe." He heads out the door. Pam pauses for a moment. She turns around briefly to glance at Lindsay, who is busy clearing the dishes. Then she follows him outside.