Special thanks to my reviewers: ffgirl-07, iheartrainbows and dbzgtfan2004

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Chapter 9 – Is it goodbye?

"What is the mystery happening here? What is wrong with Sakura, there is something… She isn't that weak before…" Syaoran said to himself while quaffing on his cup of chocolate drink. He saw a reflected image in front of him so he turned his head to check on it.

"Syaoran, can I talk to you?" A mild, cold voice spoke up. Syaoran's eyes widened then he managed to smile.

"Sakura, why did you get up from bed? You must be resting by now…" He said worriedly. Sakura grinned at him and walked forward then she sat beside Syaoran on the couch.

"Can you hug me?" She asked plainly while locking her eyes on Syaoran's. Syaoran eyed at her surprised.

"What? Are you serious?" He retorted shyly. Sakura showed no emotions, her gaze is still locked on Syaoran's face.

"Yah… Even for the last time… please…" She pleaded with begging emerald orbs. Syaoran gulped and slowly pulled her into a hug. Sakura closed her eyes and savored his embrace on her petite body. A single tear fell on her cheeks then she broke away from Syaoran.

"Thank you…" She said with a slight smile.

"So what is it that you want to talk about?" Syaoran questioned nonchalantly, trying to sound cold towards her. Sakura beamed at him once more.

"Maybe you do love Mitsuki, don't you? I was wrong when I thought that things would work out… when I thought that we would be different, that we were strong enough to make it. I hold onto our every promise before and you had been my reason of living, of surviving the harshness of life itself." Sakura started as tears overflowed in her eyes. Syaoran eyed at her with his heart pounding faster. He clearly knew what's coming on his way but he can find no escape, he can't figure out what to do. "But now I found myself wrong. Even though you're avoiding me this past few days and that I clearly knew that you had a girlfriend, I still held onto your promises---that I will be the only owner of your heart, that no one can replace me cause I will always be the best… I hoped that you still love me. I believed that forever wasn't just a word for the both of us, but a truth… I thought that when I come back here in Tomoeda and explain everything to you, you would understand… And then we will be back together… Forever… But it turns out that I was mistaken… Yeah, this is my entire fault that I left you here without even saying goodbye… It was my fault that I didn't even bothered to call or anything…" Sakura continued with sobs making her body shake. Syaoran faced her and watched her speak as tears also streamed down from his amber orbs.

"Syaoran what I'm trying to say is that… I'm letting you go now, completely. Maybe were not really meant to be so I'm giving you up… After all, you will be happy with her. I'm just a part of your past while she---she is the present. All I have are memories, memories that I'll treasure, memories that I'll carry through forever. I'm so jealous of Mitsuki, because she had the one I love the most. She had the one I've always dreamed of. And you don't have to avoid me this time because soon… I'll be gone forever and you'll never see me again. I just want you to know that I still love you very much, I had always loved you and I will always love you…" Sakura gave him a last angelic smile then she wiped the tears on her cheeks. Just as when she thought she couldn't take it anymore, when her stomach is fluttering again, she walked out of the room, headed to the stairs and to her room.

Syaoran tried to stop her but he was in such a weak state after hearing all those words from Sakura. Knowing that she still loves him somehow delighted him yet hearing her goodbye made him even sadder.

---Next Morning---

Meiling, Tomoyo, Eriol and Syaoran all went to Sakura's room since they haven't seen her around. They were all dressed up to bring her to the hospital. Syaoran's eyes were still red and swollen from tears. He was just so lucky that no one noticed it.

Tomoyo knocked on the door of Sakura's room. "Sakura-chan, open up, it's me…" She got no response. She knocked again but still no one responded so she decided to gently slam the door open.

The sight that met their eyes horrified them all especially Syaoran. Sakura's room was empty. She wasn't there. Her bed sheet and pillows were all filled with blood and medicines were scattered all over the side table. Meiling screamed in fear as tears pour down her cheeks. Tomoyo almost fainted in shock. Eriol who was terrified caught her. All the blood he saw petrified Syaoran who had no idea of what's happening.

"Where is Sakura?" He asked worriedly as big droplets of tears fell from his eyes. He was trembling as with fear and anxiety.

"Syaoran have she told you about her illness?" Meiling questioned with random sobs making her body tremble.

"What illness? What are you talking about? Sakura is sick? Why didn't you tell me?" Syaoran shrieked in shock, his body shivering now in a very bad way.

"Yes Syaoran… Sakura is sick… That's why she left you… Three years ago, she found out that she had a rare disease. It is an illness in her stomach that affects every single part of her body. She had to undergo extremely risky operations. Her life had no assurance because she can die anytime. Because of that, she decided to leave Japan and everything behind. She decided to leave you because she is afraid that you might get hurt and not continue life if ever she'll die. She doesn't want you to see her suffering. Doctors said that out 5 only 1 survived this illness. Sakura had to undergo 5 extremely rare operations. You know what… She was so weak that time, she cannot stand or sit by herself and she always threw up blood. Every time we see her before, we can't help but cry. She survived the four operations because of you. You are the reason that she keeps on fighting her illness even though she had been in a critical condition several times. She always wanted to call you, but she blocked herself knowing that once she heard your voice, surely she will come back to you. Then this opportunity came, she was asked to be a model. Desiring to help her father in all her medical bills, she accepted the offer. Luckily, the people loved her and soon she also became a famous singer. That was her dream so she was so happy that even though she might die, at least she had fulfilled one of her dreams. Her last and final operation will be held next week… She can't no longer persist her longing for you so she decided to go back here in Japan, to go back to you. She knew in herself that she would survive the last operation as long as she's with you… Syaoran it wasn't about her dream, it was because of her illness…" Tomoyo stated as she wept, attempting to pinpoint where it went wrong. She reminisced on all the times that Sakura is suffering. Syaoran cried bitterly and fell on his knees after hearing the true reason. It hit him like a bolt of lightning stabbing his heart and tearing it into a million pieces. He can't help but feel guilty that he didn't gave Sakura the chance to explain.

'How did I do this you? I've hurt you. I've been too selfish. I've judged you… Eriol is right. I was mistaken. What I think of you is way too opposite… Sorry Hun, sorry Sakura…'

"I need to find her, I need to apologize. I need to tell her how much I love her…" He blubbered as tears streamed down rapidly from his amber orbs.

"Penguin Park… I'm going to the Penguin Park!" Syaoran abruptly dashed out of the room and soon out of the house. Tomoyo immediately called an ambulance.

---Meanwhile…---

An auburn haired girl sat on a bench under the cherry blossom tree. She was humming a beautiful song with her wonderful voice. Her eyes were half open, her lips so dry and lurid, and her light skin face turned into a grayish, pale one. At any angle, one can perceive that she is so weak. Her auburn long hair flew in her back as the cold breeze motioned. Her head was leaning on the backrest that it can fall anytime.

"In this place of beginnings it is so ironic that now it is the place of endings… Here I am amidst a crowd of nature, swimming against the currents I haven't expected to be my reality. In a sea where familiar faces easily fade away… Am I all alone?…"

"SAKURA!" A tall guy came running towards her and abruptly drew her into a hug.

"Syaowan?" She gathered her strength to say his name. Her eyes blinked continuously as she lifted her hand and traced her fingers on his face.

"Yes Sakura… it's me… I love you so much, sorry if I didn't listen to you before… Now I clearly knew everything… Hold on, please hold on… I love you…" Syaoran cried his self out as he squeezed the hand of Sakura on his face.

Soon, the ambulance arrived with Tomoyo, Meiling and Eriol in it. Sakura was directly brought to the hospital with Syaoran on her side.

---At the Hospital---

"How is she doctor?"

"I'm afraid she has to be operated as soon as possible. She hasn't taken her medicine for two days now and that caused her to be so weak. She lost plenty of blood. I can't assure you anything. We can do nothing for her except for the operation. Her life is in her hands. She will survive if she wants to, she has to fight her illness once more, for the last time. If this operation succeed, she will be free from her illness forever but if not, I'm afraid she'll die." The doctor explained everything to Syaoran making sure he understood every word he's saying.

"I understand doctor. I know she'll get through this." Syaoran responded, concealing the fear that he's feeling from deep within.

Meanwhile…

"Sakura-chan, please hold on, don't leave us…" Meiling beseeched with Sakura's hand intertwined to hers.

"Yes, Sakura-chan, fight this! For the last time…" Tomoyo on the opposite side of her bed craved as she held Sakura's other hand on her face. Eriol was right beside Tomoyo, patting her back mildly.

"Thank you very much my best friends! Arigatou! Thanks for taking care of me, for your support, for keeping me holding on, for staying with me all through out and for giving up your own lives for me… if ever I'll die, you don't have to be so sad, because I will always be there, inside your hearts…" Sakura mumbled slowly as she took shallow breaths.

"No Sakura-chan, you won't die! I now you won't… Have you forgotten our vows? You said that the three of us would all have our happy endings right?" Tomoyo blubbered as she brushed her fingers on Sakura's hair.

"Sakura-chan, I know you'll survive this… You are the strongest among us right?" Meiling added while resting her head on Sakura's shoulder..

"Tomoyo-chan, Meiling-chan… I love you so much…" Sakura coughs. "I can't promise you anything now… I just want the both of you to be happy if ever I'll pass away or not… Eriol-kun, please promise me that you would take care of Tomoyo-chan, of Meiling-chan and mostly of Syaoran. If ever I'll disappear from this world, please make sure that Syaoran will have his happy ending… Please… For me…" Sakura said with random coughs. She gave out a slight smile as tears poured out her orbs.

Syaoran was listening to their conversation all through out from the slight opening of the door. He can't help but cry as he listens to Sakura's weak voice.

"Guys, can I have a word with Sakura?" He finally decided to come in. His eyes reddened form tears. Meiling, Tomoyo and Eriol all the nodded their heads and walked forward to where Syaoran is standing. They all hugged him then they ambulated out of the room. Sakura shot them a last helpless look.

Syaoran sat at the chair beside Sakura's bed and enclosed her hand into his. "Hun, I'm really very sorry if I haven't given you the chance to explain before… Sorry if I've been too cold and harsh on you… You know what, my promises still stands… Nothing changed, though I've been with a lot of girls for the past year, nothing replaced you in my heart. You are still the one… I love you so much…" Syaoran mumbled as he gently placed her lips on her hands.

"Syaoran, you're forgiven… if ever I'll die and…"

"Ssshhh! Don't say that… You won't die… We will fight your sickness together… And after that, after we succeed, we will live happily ever after…" Syaoran cut her off as hot tears welled up in his gloomy eyes. Sakura eyed at him and traced her fingers on his face, feeling every part of it, as if painting his features on her mind so she wont forget him.

"Syaoran…"

"Ssshh… Just rest, fight this illness okay? Promise me…" He placed his finger on her lips as he softly squeezed her hand.

"I love you Syaoran, but sorry… I'm tired, so tired……………." Sakura's voice trailed off, her head fell deeply on her pillow, her hands became so cold and her eyes finally shut off. Syaoran gasped, screamed, blubbered.

"NO! SAKURA! WAKE UP! NO!"

Author's Notes: So this is chapter 9… Until here… Well, I cannot live this just like this… So I will clear things up in chapter 10… Please review!