Chapter Twelve: In Which Parades Are Ruined
"Oh not electronic bugs," said Hermione. "No, you see. . . . Rita Skeeter" — Hermione's voice trembled with quiet triumph — "is an unregistered Animagus. She can turn —"
Hermione pulled out a small sealed jar out of her bag.
"— into a beetle."
"Not this again," sighed Harry, closing the compartment door and locking it with his wand. He soundproofed it for good measure.
"Not what again?" asked Hermione furiously.
"Someone doing something illegal and everyone getting roped in. It's just like first year with Norbert."
Hermione was getting angry at Harry. He was raining on her parade!
"Harry —"
"I'm not kidding. You are keeping a human. Being. In. A. Jar," said Harry loudly.
"I'm going to let her out in London —"
"No! Don't let her out!"
"It's proven then; Harry has finally lost his marbles," snickered Ron.
"Shut up!" Harry and Hermione said in unison.
"Now that you have captured her, don't let her out. You're a Muggleborn and you'll probably end up in Azkaban for blackmail and whatever charges can be trumped up against you. Your association with me does not help your chances, given how Fudge is going all corrupt Minister on us."
Hermione gaped at him.
"Oh come on! Don't tell me you haven't noticed the fact that the Ministry is still anti-Muggle to the core! The Wizarding World is no more closer to accepting Muggles as humans than it was during the first war. Malfoy has everyone in his pocket, and he can push whatever laws he wants. Plus, Skeeter doesn't get where she is now without knowing important people inside out. She probably has mountains of blackmail material on everyone in this world. You let her out, and you might just find yourself regretting it."
Hermione was frightened. Tears started to slide down her face, and she trembled.
"Hey, hey. I'll handle it, yeah? Nothing to worry about, nothing at all. Don't — don't cry, ok? It will be fine. We'll just kill her and not tell anyone. The world will be a better place without her anyway."
Surprisingly, this did not comfort her.
Ron stared at Harry. Such less regard for human life . . .
"You would really kill her?"
"Why not? Less trouble for us later. It is not like I haven't killed anyone before. Remember Quirell?"
Maybe Harry's childhood hadn't been exactly healthy for him. Neither his years at school, it seemed.
"How about we just owl Dumbledore and he'll take it from there, yeah?" suggested Ron.
"That's ok too. Although my solution was way more awesome and permanent."
Ron chose to ignore this statement for the sake of his own sanity.
AN: No matter how much you hate someone, don't. Put. Them. In. Jars. Just don't.
And if they happen to be a very influential journalist who can shake off your blackmail easily, don't let them out. Is Rita Skeeter really that easily blackmailed? I think not. She would probably get off in two seconds for being an unregistered Animagus. She could probably get away with murder if she wanted to.
There is actually a very wonderful fanfiction where Skeeter tells Hermione exactly how feeble her blackmail was and she actually takes pity on Hermione by not taking action against her. It sounds cold, but that's exactly how the world works.