Chapter Seven – A Major Dilemma

"HOW does this keep happening to us?"

"I don't know."

"This is IMPOSSIBLE."

"Actually, no its-"

"Shut UP, Potter."

"Don't shut up that much, Potter."

"You told me to shut up."

"We need suggestions all the same!"

"Oh, okay."

"Now… what are we going to do about it?"

"Well… we could just take it together, that way-"

"That's out of the question, Potter."

"Well, you wanted suggestions!"

"Yes, but we are not going to SHOWER TOGETHER!"

"Oh."

"Yes, 'oh'."

"Well why not?"

"Because."

"Because why?"

"Shut up Potter or you won't have YOUR ANATOMY IN TACT!"

"I'm rather fond of my balls, thank you."

"Then I advise you think of a G-Rated plan to get us OUT of this mess!"

Lily and James stood in the boys' dormitory bathroom – James slathered in mud, Lily with sprays of it in her hair - staring at the shower with utter repulsion at the idea of showering together. Well, Lily was repulsed at the idea – James was a bit intrigued a curious at the same time.

"I've got it!" Lily exclaimed after a minute or so of thinking.

"Yes?" James asked, his mind still elsewhere in dirty-boy-mind-land.

Lily walked up to the shower, a large one (that could easily fit the five roommates at once) with tile floors and white window block walls. James followed, temporarily forgetting his visit to dirty-boy-mind-land.

"Okay," Lily said, waving her wand. A large screen five feet tall and six feet long appeared in the shower, dividing it in half.

"One of us," she continued, "will shower – while the other one is on the other side of the screen – turned – around," she said with a glare as if reading James's mind. "When one of us is done we can dry off and get dressed, then turn around and wait for the other to shower."

"Good?" Lily asked after a minute of silent appraisal to her own plan.

"Yes, good," James stated, looking anxiously around. "But – uh – what do we – um – do if we – um – gotta – gotta – um – gotta piss?" he asked, crossing his legs and looking longingly at the toilet. "Like now?" he nearly whispered.

True, neither of them had used the bathroom since being attached at the hand and dinner was nearing and they both really had to pee.

"I – uh – um – I don't know!" Lily exclaimed, watching James rock back and forth.

"Too late!" James nearly screamed, running for the toilet and unzipping his pants.

With a frightened squeal, Lily turned away and covered her eyes as James stood up and peed.

After a minute James let out a happy sigh and zipped his pants back up. "Did you enjoy that as much as I did?" he asked jokingly as Lily scolded him for giving her no warning.

"You could have let me turn around with some TIME first before you did that!" she exclaimed now aware that she really had to pee too.

"Well I really had to pee, so I was in a bit of a rush," he said icily, glaring at her with a glint of a smile in his eyes.

"Well what about me, then?" she asked, looking around. "What if I have to pee?"

"Be my guest," he said, holding the stall door open for her.

Lily glared at him for his stupidity. "It's not that easy for me," she hissed. "Girls can't do it like you can."

James snickered at the idea but shut up when she shot him an evil look.

"Well," he said, "if you don't mind your hand being stretched out, you can use the loo while I hang around outside the stall, our arms stretching through the distance.

"Fine," Lily snapped, desperate to use the loo before she popped like James.

A very uncomfortable amount of time passed as they both used the loo and took showers. Many throats were cleared and feet were shuffled, eyes averted many a time too. After much embarrassment they decided to skip dinner and climb into bed before James's fellow Marauders came back from dinner. Snuggling down in bed, Lily had a brief flashback to the night before. She sighed and rolled over, facing James's back. There was no way – no way at all – she would let that happen again.

But once again Lily was wrong.

Monday morning found Lily lying on her stomach, her arm draped over James's bare chest, snoring softly into his pillow, her hair mussed up and frizzy around the pillow and the sheets tangled tightly around her.

And James didn't look so good either: his hair was stuck up in even more odd angles and he slept with a moronic grin on his face – something in his dreams obviously pleased him – his arm stretched out on Lily's back – palm down – and the sheets laying loosely on his waist down, as if the remnants of Lily's bundle was good enough for him.

Remus, being the good friend he was, saw this and immediately got up to close James's bed hangings so they could have some privacy and be away from the keen looking eyes – a.k.a. Sirius and Peter.

This time Lily was first to wake up. She was also first to take into action their position in bed.

Yawning, she ran her hand down James's chest to wake him up and mumbled "good morning" when he opened his eyes. Lily rolled over next to him – still on her stomach – so their skin was touching, still – apparently – unaware of what she was doing. Hand still on his chest, she asked, "Did you sleep well?"

"Fine thanks," James mumbled back, running his own hand down her spine and pushing a lock of her hair out of her eyes. "You?"

"Better than I've slept in years for some reason."

James was aware of her skin touching his – her hand on his chest and the side of her body pressed into formation with his. He smiled, feeling that he was right all along – this was exactly what he wanted with Lily Evans. He wanted to wake up with her beside him every morning, kiss her every second and feel her move next to him, always knowing she was near him.

Lily snuggled her face into James's neck, reluctant to wake up. With a grin, James thought this was really happening: maybe Lily was in love with him after all.

But with a jolt that dream was quashed too. Lily's eyes snapped open in alarm and pulled herself away from James who was running his hand up and down her back as fast as she could.

"Oh! I'm sorry! I – uh – well – I – I – um – I'm sorry!" she stammered, jolting up in the bed and grabbing her clothes to change into.

James looked more than a bit crestfallen at the change in pace but stood up none the less and grabbed his own clothes to change into.

"Yeah, sure," he mumbled.

The day was going to be very long indeed.

James and Lily went through the day attached at the hand, sitting next to each other in every class and being paired up together in every class, listening to ribbing from the Marauders and Lily's friends together, threatening to hex of valuable parts and blow up favorite articles of clothing if they didn't shut up together… those kind of things. It was a very interesting day. Each teacher noticed how Evans and Potter were holding hands and smirked at the idea… but when they never stopped and kept on holding hands every second of their classes they grew curious. They sent a quick owl to Dumbledore, asking what was going on, and he sent one back explaining every detail under the sun for the Professors, all making them smile even more at the two students' luck.

Professor McGonagall was ecstatic at the idea that they were joined, finally glad that James would have to miss out on the pranks pulled in her class due to being attached to Lily.

Professor Binns took no notice of the pair so he was indifferent to the subject and Professor Sinistra quirked his brow at the pair but said no more. Professor Winston – their D.A.D.A. teacher – examined their hands with interest but went on teaching the lesson none the less.

Professor Flitwick merrily looked at the two and assigned them partners to work on silent Hover Charms together. But none was happier than Professor Slughorn when he saw the pair together after lunch.

"Excellent! Excellent! My two brightest pupils together at last!" he exclaimed as he saw them trudge into the dungeons for Potions holding hands.

"Oh, sorry, Professor," Lily said, looking Slughorn in the eye, "we're not together… we're just – together," she said lamely, indicating their hands.

"I see," he said wisely, and, like every other Professor that noticed, plucked up their hands to examine it.

"Very nice potion work, I see, the brewer made sure to get it all precise. You're lucky too – if this potion went awry you could have lost your hands all together. Now please take your seats, open to page 389, and begin work together," he said, passing by the couple and towards his own house to greet some of the many students.

The two set to work silently wondering how much of this they would have to endure before the potion finally wore off.

Guess who?

Hi guys! Okay, I finally have Chapter Seven done and I'm more than a bit pleased with it! I was, however, caught in the writing of it which put me in a very sticky predicament, trying to talk my way out of it and convince my brother (who caught me) that this story was NOT dirty. LOL.

I hope you all liked it… the dirty-boy-mind-land is so true, by the way. I have a lot of guy friends (whether my friends know them or not) and the second you say something – even the word "paper" – they crack up laughing with their sick minds it makes us all know what they're thinking about. Unfortunately that trait has worn off to your loyal author… but if anything it just makes the story better!

Please read and review! Next chapter soon to come… like, in a millisecond.

-Your Author