Chapter Eight – The Wanker is a Pro at Whining

Lily stood at the portrait hole, tapping her foot impatiently as James conversed in whispered voices with his fellow Marauders.

"Lets – get – going – James!" she hissed after a minute of impatient foot-tapping.

"Yes, ma'am," James called, bending low into a mock bow as he walked in front of Lily, still bowing.

"You arrogant prat," Lily spat, kicking him in the arse with her shoe.

"Oh," James said as he raised his eyebrows, seemingly not disturbed by the recent arse-kicking. "You wanna get kinky with me, Evans?"

Lily's eyes narrowed into an icy glare. "Don't even think it," she growled menacingly, beginning to stride towards the Charms corridor for her prefect duties.

"Well, Evans," James continued smoothly, falling into pace with her, "you really can't stop me thinking dirty thoughts because, one: there is no way you can control my mind; two: I'm a guy and that's just natural; and three: you know you secretly think them too."

"You little wanker!" Lily hissed at him, pressing him up against a wall, her hand tightening on his shirt collar.

"Yes, I know," James said mischievously.

With an aggravated – but muffled – scream, Lily set off walking again with a quickened pace.

She had received orders from the Head Boy and Girl that she was to patrol the Charms corridor and the D.A.D.A corridor for an hour that night as her prefect duty. She had been more than happy to do it – until she remembered Potter was glued to her hand.

The year was nearly over – only three weeks left to be exact. The exams would be starting in two days, which would carry on for a week and leave the remaining time to freedom – or in Lily's case – a death sentence.

Lily slowed down as she came to her stop near the Charms classroom and leaned up against the wall, telling herself to breathe in and out slowly, attempting to forget about James. Within seconds, Lily had slid down the length of the wall and was sitting on the stone floor, sighing, looking up and down the hall to make sure no students were out of bed and no guilty students were out for a late night snogging session. With a confident mind, she closed her eyes and focused on relaxing. But, of course, that wasn't possible with James Potter around.

"I don't see why I had to come with you," he states with a ring of impatience in his voice.

"No, really?" Lily asks sarcastically, glaring at their entwined hands.

"Yes, really," James continues, seemingly oblivious to her sarcasm. "I mean, these are YOUR prefect duties; not mine. Why didn't you get attached to Remus? I mean, HE has to do the same duties as you – just different corridors – so you could have caught two snitches with one seeker if you had just done that." James paused in concentration as he thought of what to say next.

Lily, although thoroughly ticked at James, felt her heart be pierced with a flaming arrow at James's words. Her breath caught in her throat and her heart skipped a couple beats, but not because she was happy with his words or lost in the beautiful hazel color of his eyes; no, it was because what he said made her worry. What he said hurt her.

Was James just trying to wriggle his way out of uncomfortable feelings and thoughts after what had happened that morning? Was he trying to push Lily farther away after she had pushed him away? Did he want to convince her that he didn't like her to save his own heart from being torn to shreds? Was he trying to protect himself whilst hurting Lily in the process? Or, Lily thought as her heart fell like a bruised banana to the bottom of her stomach, did he really not like her?

Lily gulped and waited to hear what he had to say.

"Don't get me wrong though," he said, stroking his chin thoughtfully. "I absolutely love being attached to you and all – even if it does mean I have to use silent spells all over the place 'cause I can't use my wand. But," James said, snuggling closer to Lily, "I think it's all worth it, considering I have the most beautiful girl in the world permanently attached to me," he finished with a smirk.

Even though the words were supposed to be comforting to Lily, they seemed to sting a bit more than his earlier ones. Stashing the thought in the back of her head for over-analyzation later, she brushed right past his statement.

"Let's go, Potter," she said curtly, standing up and brushing off her robes. "We have to finish the patrol before the wanker whines his eyes out."

"Who's the wanker?" James asked as his arm was tugged rather rudely in the opposite direction.

"You."

As Lily kept walking the distinct thoughts of "the wanker is a pro at whining" ran through her head, clearly stating that the wanker was James.

An hour later Lily sat in a ball in the boys' dormitory (as James did his homework) feeling like the biggest arse on the planet. No, it wasn't because she had called James a wanker and no it had nothing to do with what she'd said to him or anyone else. It had nothing to do with actions – or so she was almost sure of – but it left her feeling like the biggest arse, no matter how much she tried to bang the thought out of her head.

She sat there, thinking of everything she had done in the past six years and realized, that, for almost the last two, she had been a selfish little brat.

Was he trying to push Lily farther away after she had pushed him away? Did he want to convince her that he didn't like her to save his own heart from being torn to shreds?

Lily's previous thoughts echoed in her head with a slight chill. She felt so bad thinking them… knowing that they weren't true. At least they weren't true for James….

Lily pushed him away, declaring that she would rather date the giant squid than him; she pushed him away, telling him she would never date him and she hated him, wanting him to die; she pushed him away and kept convincing herself – rather perfectly – that she hated James Potter – all in her selfish attitude to save herself. She didn't want her heart torn to shreds, she didn't want to give it to Potter who would wave it like the Quidditch star he was as if her heart was his trophy, then get bored with it and toss it aside and find another one. She really didn't want to get hurt, but she was growing more and more positive she had been egotistical.

With a sigh Lily got up and changed into her pajamas in their typical fashion and crawled into James's bed, rolling over and sighing into the pillow. She really wasn't sure what was going to happen but she was praying to have a second chance to make it better after she buggered it all up. She was just positive that something would go wrong and for once in her life it'd be she making the mistake – not Potter.

"Potter and Evans sittin' in a tree! K-I-S-S-I-N-G! First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes a marauder in the baby carriage!"

"Will you STOP IT already, Sirius?"

"Oh, sorry, Evans, I know how much you hate hearing about your future marauder son."

Lily glowered at him as she finished up her potions essay. She was quite sick of Sirius singing that stupid song over and over again at the top of his lungs. It seemed to Lily that James was rather enjoying it – fantasizing about his future marauder son and being able to K-I-S-S Lily in a tree, and, well, in dirty-boy-mind-land, he was thinking of what he'd get to do in order to have a son with Evans. His cheeks blushed a shade of fuchsia as she looked at him quizzically. He really didn't want Evans knowing what he was thinking – she'd fly through the roof and hex him to China if she did.

Lily and the marauders were sitting up in the boys' dormitory, Sirius hunting for old food from under his bed like a dog, Remus reading Hogwarts, a History from his spot on his bed, Peter looking oddly pathetic as he poked at the holes in his jumped and James sketching out Quidditch tactics for the game on Wednesday – day after tomorrow.

True, that was the final match of the season – the match to determine who got the Quidditch Cup. Gryffindor vs. Ravenclaw wasn't going to be the hardest game to beat, but James was vaguely aware that a certain someone might be a teensy bit of a problem when it came to playing. James was known for doing loop-de-loops around the pitch and making nose dives at random moments, even pulling a couple Wronski Feints every now and again to confuse the opposing teams. But that was easy for James; he knew what he was going to do: it clicked in his mind before he actually did it and he was off on a great new something-or-other. But Lily might be a problem. She wouldn't know if James went shooting off in a nose dive and she'd most likely scream bloody murder if James decided to Feint. She was more than a problem, actually: she was an inconvenience.

Not that James didn't like being attached to Lily; he really liked having her less then two feet away at all moments of the day, even if he did want to talk to his fellow marauders from time to time. James was ecstatic at the idea of Lily sleeping next to him every night and was thrilled with every passing morning when he woke up to find himself looking at Lily, and sometimes to find her beautiful green eyes looking into his. James enjoyed it so much he really didn't want the two weeks to end when two weeks came and went. If anything he was more depressed at the idea that there was no time for anything to happen, seeing as the year was about to end and release for summer. He'd have no time to see Lily or meet up with her or even talk to her and hear her pretty voice: his summer would be a disaster.

James was positive his summer would be a disaster. Well, why wouldn't it? He'd spend two glorious weeks next to a beautiful woman, learning her traits and talking to her, and then he'd have to dash off and never see her again. Well, that was over-dramatizing it a bit. He'd see her at the beginning of his seventh – and with a pang he remembered final – year at Hogwarts.

But James didn't have much time to dwell on things…

"Potter and Evans, sitting in a tree! K-I-S-S-I-N-G! First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes a maraud – OUCH!"

Lily threw a pillow at Sirius's head.