Chapter Nine – Absolutely Nothing

James had Lily pressed up against a wall in the middle of his steamy dorm. They were alone with the door closed and locked, every window foggy. James was distinctly aware of his raging hormones and he was praying more than anything that Lily had the same. Well, not the exact anatomy with hormones – but the same hormones for him. He was breathing rather deeply, as if he had just finished a two hour long Quidditch practice and was very aware of his close proximity to Lily.

He took in the smell of Lily's hair as he kissed her neck with a nibble.

"James," Lily mumbled, putting her hands on his chest.

"Mm?" he asked, still preoccupied with the kissing.

"Forget it," Lily murmured as James began to kiss her ear and her cheek, then right down to full-on snogging.

Having his arms wrapped around Lily's waist and her arms around his neck he wasn't all that aware that he was still in the dorm. He felt as if years had slipped away and he and Lily were shagging like romping animals in their apartment, days after graduating from Hogwarts. As if he couldn't press her up against the wall more, James pushed Lily back into the wall and continued to kiss her like his life depended on it.

"Mm, Lily, you are so beautiful," James whispered as his hand slipped up her shirt.

"I love you, James," she whispered in his ear as he continued to nibble her neck.

"I love you, too, Lily," he whispered back, feeling as if he was getting luckier and luckier with every passing moment.

"Wanna go in the bathroom?" she asked after much snogging.

"Mmmm, kinky," James stated, thinking of what dirty thoughts were only to be mentioned in dirty-boy-mind-land.

As they began an odd kissing/walking/press up against air movement, James felt his hormones surge more than ever.

"Sod it," Lily said after they rammed into another bedpost. "Let's move to the bed, James," she whispered, stepping back in the direction of his bed.

James picked her up 'round the waist and put her on the bed, straddling her and beginning to kiss her slowly and softly, then quicker and harder.

"James?" a voice asked.

"Bugger off, Padfoot, I'm busy," James murmured from his place behind Lily's tonsils.

"No – but, Prongs," Sirius protested.

"Cant you see I'm busy, Pads?" James asked, agitated, attempting to keep the mood between him and Lily.

"Prongs, I really think you should stop that now."

"Honestly, James, its starting to freak me out," he heard Lily's voice say.

"Wha?" he asked stupidly, looking at her. "Don't you like it?"

"I don't know what there's to like – but you're definitely freaking me out."

"Prongs," Sirius said again. "Prongs – wake up."

James blinked at the voices.

"Prongs," Sirius protested. "Prongs – wake up – you're dreaming. Wake up, Prongs, wake up."

James opened his eyes to see Sirius standing over him, looking at him worriedly.

"I was a bit busy, Pads," James said with a snap, glancing down, expecting to find Lily beneath him. He blinked, and did a double-take. Lily wasn't below him – a pillow was below him.

"Busy snogging your pillow?" Sirius asked, completely not getting the point.

James blushed a deep shade of red and turned around to see Lily, her head propped in her hands, staying up on her elbows.

"Are you okay, James?" she asked, putting a hand delicately on his shoulder. Her touch brought back itching memories of his dream, telling him to pull his covers up to his chin as fast as possible before anything – er – happened.

"Fine, thanks," he replied sheepishly, wondering what noises they'd heard and what actions they'd seen.

"Are you sure?" she asked, looking at him with concern. "You were mumbling a lot of things."

James's embarrassment meter climbed as he worried about what he'd possibly said.

"What'd I say?" he asked nervously, afraid to hear the details.

"Well…" Sirius said. "I'm not sure. You were just saying a lot of things real quiet, into your pillow and all."

James looked over at Lily for confirmation; she nodded her head.

"Uh… yeah," James said before any more questions could be asked. "Yeah, I'm fine. Just a dream I was having."

"Oooooooh," Sirius said, getting it – or his own dirty version of it – with a raise of his eyebrows. "Kinky."

"Shut it, Sirius," James hissed, not wanting news of his dream out and about – especially when Lily was around.

"Who was it this time, mate?" he asked, ignoring James's hiss.

"No one," James growled, shooting him an evil glare.

Lily looked at him quizzically, wondering what was going on.

Sirius's eyes darted between James and Lily and with an "Oooooooh" and a very large wink, walked out of the dormitory to leave James to his blushing.

"What was that about?" Lily asked as the door closed, leaving them alone.

"Uh… nothing," James said a bit too quickly as he rummaged around in his trunk for his school robes.

"Oh yes it was something," Lily said, getting up and leaning against the wall as James pulled out his socks.

James glanced up at her, but quickly redirected his gaze: her position was too much like that in his dream.

James kept himself busy with rearranging the books in his trunk to keep himself from looking at Lily. But all too suddenly he felt her hand on his knee and her presence right beside him. He turned to look at her, wondering when she'd come to be next to him.

"James," Lily said softly as she crouched next to him, "what's wrong?"

"Nothings wrong," James stated again. And it was the truth. Nothing was wrong, he was just really, REALLY, really embarrassed.

"James," she nearly whispered, looking him in the eye. "Is there something you want to tell me?" After a moment or two of his silence, she said, "Anything at all; I'll listen, James."

He was more than touched at her words and wanted more than anything to roll over in bed and return to his boy-ish dream he was having. But having Lily next to him was a good compromise.

It wasn't until he glanced up from the pile of clothes in his lap did he realize that Lily's nose was mere inches away from his own. He could see her eyes swim with curiosity and concern for James. He could feel her breath on his lips when she exhaled… he wanted more than anything just to touch her.

Lily was also very much aware of how close she had put herself to James. She could see his hazel eyes and the strands of his black hair dangling loosely on his forehead. She could feel the heat emit from his body, he was so close to her. Lily was barely aware of titling her head to the right, still looking at James.

James smiled a cocky grin at Lily, so overwhelmed with happiness. He tilted his head to the left as he looked deep in her eyes, able to see her black eyelashes blink with the same happiness. He was moving closer to Lily; she was moving closer to him. Barely an inch could fit between their lips.

The pair closed their eyes, lost in an empty world, about to kiss, ready – more than anything – to kiss.

"Hey guys, when're you coming down to breakfast?"

Sirius appeared at the door, flinging it open with gusto as he looked at the two, waiting for their response.

Lily's head snapped to Sirius, a bit aggravated but relieved at the interruption. What was she thinking, kissing James Potter?

"Eh?" he asked, still waiting.

"We'll be down in a bit, Black," Lily said sharply, standing up to get ready.

"Yeah," James mumbled. "We'll be down in a bit. Go on without us."

As soon as the door closed, Lily wrung her hands together to begin her apology.

"I'm so sorry, James, I really don't know what came over me," she said, her eyes begging for forgiveness.

"You're sorry?" he asked blankly.

"Yes, I'm really, really sorry! I didn't mean for that to happen! That – uh – well, at least it didn't happen, right?" she asked softly, not looking at him.

"I was rather hoping it would happen," James grumbled quietly.

"What?" she asked, not hearing what he said.

"Nothing," James stated. "It was absolutely nothing."

James wanted more than anything in the world to just be alone at that moment. He didn't want to face the chattering happy crowds of the students in his classes, he didn't want to talk to his over-eager fellow marauders, he didn't want to look at the stern teachers handing out homework, he didn't want to look at the merry couples, kissing and holding hands in the hall, but worst of all – he didn't want to look at Lily.

She was aware that he was avoiding her – if you could call it that, seeing as they couldn't really stay out of each other's ways. She had told him she was sorry that that kiss almost happened, but, really, she wanted to ring Sirius's neck and scream at him for having the worst timing ever known to wizard-kind.

James was pretty much in the same boat, wanting to rip off the one part making Sirius male. He wanted to make sure that bloke never got a chance to reproduce. He was so ticked at Sirius for ruining his almost-kiss with Lily, he was even going to the lengths to not talk to him. And even though Lily – secretly – wanted to kiss James, her words were still ringing through his ears like an incessant, annoying, terribly rude school bell. He had been so happy knowing that things might happen between him, so happy knowing that he was finally going to get his chance to kiss Lily after six years of waiting… and then... it didn't happen. If that didn't break your heart and grind it to confetti, he really didn't know what did.

If only James could just sneak away with one of Sirius's bottles of Firewiskey and mope about his problems, things just might brighten up. But, knowing how protective of his Firewiskey Sirius was – James knew that was never going to happen.