Author's Note: This chapter is a flashback (I'll make that clear to everyone) and it is also a – kinda – conversation in Lily's mind. It's a bit hard to understand, but if you read at the right pace its easier.

Chapter Ten - The Conscience Talks

FLASHBACK

Lily Evans stretched out on her bed in the girls' dormitory, letting her head fall off the foot of it, dangling dangerously close to her trunk. Her feet slid up and down the wall behind her headboard, obviously bored and lost in thought. With a yawn she stretched her arms out over (well, under, considering her position) her head and closed her eyes, already conversing with her conscience.

I cannot believe that toerag.

What'd he do this time?

Always bullying Snape in the halls, always mussing up his hair, always playing with that bloody snitch – even though the world knows he's a chaser – every stupid thing he does. He's such an arse.

You didn't always have that opinion of him you know.

Oh? Says who?

Says you.

I'm not saying that.

True, but I am – and I'm your conscience so it basically counts as you.

My conscience is supposed to help me through problems and discuss the rights and wrongs of my ways – not confuse me.

Well maybe confusion is all part of the plan to get you to see the rights and wrongs of your ways. Maybe its all an evil plan to make you over-think things and think too far into things that need to be thunk so you'll just – forget it all – then focus on your rights and wrongs and forget about the confusing plan. Maybe that is the plan! To confuse you to extremes and make you forget so you can focus on other things!

What the hell have you been smoking?

Uh… nothing.

Right.

So… we were discussing the toerag, were we not?

Correct. We were discussing Potter.

And how would you like to discuss Potter today?

Oh, please, don't pull that. Do not put on those ridiculous glasses and pull out the parchment and quills and ink and go all therapist on me. Don't do that – please don't.

And what's so wrong with the glasses?

They don't match your eyes.

Well that's stupid. I mean, who would make glasses that don't match your eyes? What's the point of having glasses if they don't match your eyes? Why do they even have to match your eyes? Why? Tell me that, Lily, why do they have to match your eyes? What's so wrong with them if they don't match your eyes, huh? What's so wrong with them? Can you earn a detention or something from having glasses that don't match your eyes? Is it a crime to have glasses that don't match your eyes? Is it? Is it, is it, huh?

I'm going to scoot away now.

Yes, you had better scoot away. Scoot away for your own safety! Do not think of Potter or the confusing plan! Do not insult my glasses!

I think I might go see Madam Pomfrey.

Don't – you – dare.

And why not?

Because you have your own adorable psychologist right here.

I think my psychologist needs a psychologist.

How dare you insult your psychologist!

I'm insulting myself, so I can do as I please, when I please.

Yes, well, back to Potter, shall we?

What about Potter?

See what I mean? This confusion thing really works. Maybe I should write a book about it. Oh! It'd be a great book! It'd have so much in it about how to work it and about special cases and what happens when the plan backfires! Oh! This'll be great! I can title it… er… I can name it… er… uh… name it… I can name it… The Key to Psychology: Confusion. That's a perfect title! It's marvelous. So I can open the page with "So you're a conscience, right? Do you need a way of working out the problems? Well you've found the right answer! Right here in this book! It's the key to –

Not that I don't mind your ramblings, but can we get back to me?

Well scratch that entire confusion idea. It obviously didn't work on you.

I have no idea what you're talking about.

Never mind, it does work.

What works?

Hush. Now tell me about Potter.

Oh. Okay. Well… he's this tall bloke with shaggy black hair that's always in his face. He plays Chaser on the Quidditch team – although he always plays with a snitch and he sometimes fills for the Seeker when she's sick. He's got these gorgeous hazel eyes and he excels in almost every class we take. He's marvelous at Transfiguration, and he's… he's…

So what's the problem?

Have I mentioned that I hate him?

Uh… let me check my records. One sec... Yes, you have mentioned that. You've mentioned it… 18, 30, 59, 60, 61, 62, 63… nuh, nuh, nuh… 105, 106, 107… nuh, nuh, nuh… 498, 499, 500, 501, nuh… nuh... nuh… 1002, 1003, 1004 –

Okay, okay, I get it!

6056, 6057, 6058 –

Will you shut up! I bloody get that I've said I've hated him a zillion times already!

Then honestly where are we going with this?

It's just – Potter's shaped up a lot since that thing after the OWLs… and… well… now that he's starting to, well, grow up a bit; he's becoming a bit more…

Devilishly handsome?

A bit more likeable.

Devilishly handsome?

No.

What about… devilishly handsome?

No.

Oh! I know! Devilishly handsome…

No.

How about… devilishly handsome?

What is your obsession with Potter and "devilishly handsome"?

Well… technically it's your obsession… I'm just reading your thoughts. Truth is – you think he's devilishly handsome.

I do not!

Yes, you do!

Can we just focus on the problem?

Oh, sorry hon. I didn't realize there was a problem at hand.

What on earth did you think I was rambling on about then?

Oh, like every other girl… just thinking about Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter.

Are you done?

Almost. Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter.

Now?

Yes, now I'm done.

So… what were we saying? I was a bit too busy ignoring you.

I believe we were discussing "the problem."

Oh, yes.

Sooooo…

You're my conscience. You're supposed to point me in the right "direction."

So I am…

So… when're you going to tell me what to do?

See, I didn't really pay attention in that class when I was studying to become a conscience.

You didn't pay attention?

No, not really. I was passing notes with this super cute conscience. I forget what his name was…

We're talking about me and Potter.

That was it! His last name was Potter. Boy was he cute.

Listen, when are we going to focus on the BLOODY PROBLEM?

I haven't the faintest idea.

Then I'll ramble a bit for you… James Potter is an arrogant bullying toerag who only wants me because he can't have me. All the other sodding girls at Hogwarts and in Gryffindor – Slytherin too – want to get their little hands on him. But he wont let them because he claims to be "in love" with me. So the problem… the problem is…

Hahaha. You can't find a problem to dating James Potter.

Yes I can!

Then what is that problem, missy?

It's… its… it's… oh sod it! He's rude! That's why!

From my observations he's rather nice.

Do you want a slap upside the head?

No, not particularly.

Then I suggest you shut it.

So where've we been going with this. The past half hour we've been talking about James Potter but we never actually did reach a conclusion, just that your head is about as read as your hair.

When did we meet that conclusion?

Oh, sorry, I noticed it about ten minutes ago. You've been hanging off the edge of the bed too long.

Well that's right nice of you to tell me.

Okay, we're going to get down to business. NOW. James Potter. Why can you not date him?

There isn't a reason for why I can't date him… it's just because I don't want to. He's rude and arrogant and he isn't my type.

Right.

Listen, something drastic'll have to happen before I find myself in love with Potter – and dating him.

END OF FLASHBACK

Author's Ramblings:

Hey guys. As you might have noticed there was a slight change. I mentioned before in another chapter that James was Seeker for Gryffindor. But, I was reading up on some interverviews with JKR yesterday and she "commented and confirmed" that James was Chaser - not Seeker. So I had to make that slight change in the story. Sorry for any confusion.

And speaking of confusion, I hope this chapter wasn't too hectic for you to read. Its a bit crazy, yes, I know, but interesting all the same. It reminds me a bit of how my friends cheer me and my other friends up. Crazy, phsyco and crazy some more.

Please Review! Please and Thank you!