I felt awful. I know I shouldn't feel guilty, it wasn't my fault, but someone had to. Remus looked horrible. And I mean horrible. As in worse than usual, which is really quite bad to begin with. I wish I knew what it was. It happened so often, but every time, I felt just as bad and half surprised as if it was still only happening for the first time.
"Hello! Earth to Lily! Does Houston have another problem?" I realized I had been staring. Meanwhile Madison, my best friend, had realized what (who, really) I had been staring at. "A boy problem?" she finished cheekily, grinning. I blushed. Why do I always have to blush?
"No! I do not have a boy problem!" I cried, playfully slapping Madison's shoulder.
"Poor Lily," she sighed dramatically, "Trapped in a one-sided romance, desperately searching for love in the sorrow-filled gaze of none other than" here she paused dramatically, finishing with a grand flourish towards that said love-object, "Remus Lupin!"
Remus seemed to have heard his name, for he lifted his head, searching for the speaker. His gaze fell on me. I shook my head slightly, suddenly pausing in the barely noticeable action as I gazed back. Madison was right.
Remus' eyes were filled with sorrow. When he looked away, it was even with a sorrowful, little subconscious shake of the head, as if he was used to being constantly disappointed with himself, or used to letting people go, just to be alone.
After he looked away, I sneaked a glance at Madison's face. She was smiling knowingly. "What?" I asked her, "What?"
"Oh nothing Lil'. Nothing," she said unconvincingly as we stood up to move onto our classes.
After all the classes had finished, I am sorry to say that Madison did indeed get on my nerves. She was still hinting at me liking Remus. She just wouldn't leave me alone! When I would tell her to stop, she would just say "Sure, Lil', whatever you say" and then just start up again in a few minutes. I swear, right in the middle of the common room! Remus could have (and probably did) heard. So, instead of getting in a row, I calmly stated that I wanted to be alone. And walked outside to the lake.
It was a beautiful night. The moon was large, a shimmering white ball of light, casting amazing blue shadows, and reflecting itself in the great lake. The giant squid swam lazily across the surface.
I took in the view while sitting on the shore of the lakes, letting the minuscule waves trickle around me. The whole scene was beautiful. That is until I noticed someone exiting the castle and casually walking over to me.
I couldn't believe it. Whether I was human at the moment or not, the pain of it all was indescribable. I whined and stumbled back. This wasn't going to be a good day. I faded in and out of consciousness as I watched James charge towards the wolf, knocking Remus over and causing him to smash his head against the wall.
Remus' form shuddered. It wasn't the form I was used to. It wasn't Remus, the polite, caring marauder. It was Remus, the bloodthirsty werewolf. It was Remus of the full moon. James to seemed to be thinking this, thinking of what we had done. Peter was hiding in relative safety, as he could do nothing else because of his animal form's small size.
James turned around, thinking the fight was over. But Remus didn't seem to agree, for he jumped up, running at James, ready to strike. Not if I could help it. I don't know, with that thought, I seemed to have lunged and gotten in the way of the werewolf about to attack my best friend. I could feel myself slashing, and biting, attacking. Remus was falling. He too was attacking even as he fell. One last swipe to the heart was all it took to bring me down.
"Sirius!" I shouted. I couldn't believe what had happened. Remus had attacked us all, even though we were in our animal forms. Making sure he had not managed to bite me, I changed back to human.
I ran back to the castle, we needed help. Oh, we would get in so much trouble, even if I thought of a way to make it look like we weren't illegal animagi. Oh crap. It was Lily. She might have seen me, but she might not have. She also could be the help I was looking for.
Flinging on my invisibility cloak (it was always kept at the foot of the Whomping Willow), I walked past her right into the entrance hall. I took off the cloak, stuffed it in my robes, and walked towards her, trying to act casual. I was getting nearer.
"Hey, Evans!"
"What now, Potter?" I chose to ignore that.
"Do you really want to know?" I asked, trying to seem innocent.
"Just get on with it!" Uh-oh, now she was annoyed. I stopped beating around the bush. I was just about to ask her for her help when she interrupted.
"Why don't you just go bother your friends?"
"I can't," I said quietly, "Two're unconscious, and one's missing."
"What?" Damn it, now she was confused. I'm horrible at this. I had to tell Remus' secret.
"Just follow me, Lily! Please" Oh, great, so now I was pleading. The things this girl can do to me. It's scary.
"Okay." Her tone and voice softened and she followed me.