Author's Ramblings: Yeah, it's taken forever to update. Sorry about that. Life just kinda sucks for me at the moment.
About the chapter: Sorry it's so short. It's just kind of necessary, seeing where it ends and all. And I don't want a tail-ish chapter. The next one will come VERY SOON though, so don't worry. Please don't kill me.
Duh: Sorry for any typos.
Chapter Thirteen – Confrontations
Maybe it was the weather. Maybe it was PMS. Maybe it was something in the water. But whatever it was, it was there.
Perhaps the decreased Quidditch training was getting to him. Perhaps the confusion was finally drilling a hole through his tolerance level. Perhaps he was too in love to actually notice. But whatever it was, it was hiding.
They both knew that something went wrong somewhere along the road. They both knew that they had made a mistake – a deadly mistake.
Lily and James sat in silence that evening in the common room. They didn't know what to say or do or anything that could make it better – or make it easier to pretend it hadn't happened. The surrounding marauders had shuffled off to their own part of the castle an hour before and the girls that always flanked Lily had also gotten up to leave. Fellow students in the room had watched them leave, all wondering why. The reason was simple… they could feel the chills spread up their arms and slide down their spines just looking at the pair.
They knew that the "couple" was suffering but even they didn't know what had happened or how to help. All they could do was give them the time to think it all through.
Lily's hand was resting softly on her thigh… but the thoughts had gotten to her. She scratched at the fabric of her skirt and clenched it in her hand. She squeezed her eyes shut while tightly pursing her lips. She exhaled slowly out her nose and opened her eyes as two tears spilled out her eye. She gave a shaky sigh and swallowed more tears that sat with her thoughts.
James might have noticed… if he himself hadn't been biting back tears.
Silence.
Professors could tell you that it was the best thing in the world when they got the students – especially the marauders – to shut up. But right now silence was deafening.
As the bell rang at the release of Transfiguration, Lily tugged James's hand and mumbled something about taking a walk. Already this wasn't of her standard. She didn't skip classes.
The two walked out to the lake – the typical talking spot – in silence.
They walked in circles around the warm waters for half an hour, not talking.
But, finally the silence was broken with Lily's voice.
"I don't know… if I can… if I can do this, James," she whispered.
"Do what, Lily?" James asked, glancing at her.
"I cant – I cant… l-love you…."
The past days events came back in a rush and every bit of pain and frustration James had experienced in those hours came back to the surface. He was ready to fight – scratch and snarl and die if necessary. Emotions were painful, and James had plenty.
"You can't love me?" James asked, spinning around to face her, his eyes hard as rocks.
"I'm sorry, James!" she exclaimed. "I want to, I really do – but I can't!"
"WHY CANT YOU?" James roared, fire nearly dancing in his eyes.
"We're too different, James," Lily said faintly. "We're near opposites and we're not meant to be!"
"Different my arse!" he exclaimed. "The past couple days have been near bliss for me, Lily. I've enjoyed every minute of being this close to you, sleeping next to you, eating with you – everything! And I think you've enjoyed it too," he ended with a sour tone.
"James, please don't make me do this!"
"Do what, Lily?" James snapped "Do what? You keep saying you can't do it or you don't want to do it or you won't do it – it's all about doing whatever the hell it is! But you won't tell me what it is!"
"I can't…"
"Love me? You want to stay with the 'you can't love me' deal?"
"James!" Lily cried, her eyes watering.
"Lily, I am sorry, but I cannot do this either," he said, turning away from her. "I am sick of you playing your stupid games with me! I am so fed up with you I – I can't even look at you, Lily!"
"James…" she said softly.
"No, Lily. Don't. Make up your bloody mind, Lily. I cannot do this if you don't want it."
"I want it, James, honest I do, but-"
"Then what's the problem?" he snarled.
"I just… cant."
"Quit it, Evans," James spat.
It stung Lily, it really did. It was the first time he'd used her surname in a long while.
"Please don't do this, James!"
"Stop it, Lily!" James screamed. "STOP WITH THE 'THIS'S AND THE 'IT'S AND ALL THE OTHER SHIT YOU HAVE TO GIVE! STOP THE DAMN STORIES UNTIL YOU'RE," James stopped to catch his breath and calm himself. "Until you're ready to face the truth."
"What truth, James?" Lily asked, her words sharp like a knife.
His voice went low so it was below a whisper. The wind in the air around them would have covered his words if Lily hadn't been so close. "That you love me."
And with a flash, their joined hands were engulfed in flames. Lily screamed although it touched her with no pain as James ripped his hand out of hers and stormed off down the grounds towards the Forbidden Forest.
Author's Ramblings: CLIFF HANGER! OOO YEAH! Finally, finally I get to write a cliff hanger! –Does that weird Spongebob dance that looks like a slomo hula hoop thing- Haha. Oh, and in my opinion, I kinda think this is a shitty chapter. But I guess that's just me. Oh, and don't worry – there's still the ten chapter promise! So DO NOT think that this is ANYWHERE near the end. Kay? Good.