4.

6 o'clock

"I… It's okay… You… you chose the man you loved…" Her words had hurt, although they only confirmed what Edge had known all along. "You know I've always wanted you, though… Still, I understand."

"No, you don't! You never understood and you don't now!" Rydia jumped to her feet suddenly, much too quickly for someone of her age – Edge was sure that he could no longer jump up that quickly.

"I didn't mean it that way!" How could she possibly tell what she felt when there were no words for it? She never had wished to gain him, never –

She made a helpless attempt to explain it to him: "You always have been there and I—"

"I told you I'm sorry that I wasn't at the funeral!" He retorted half-roused, half-ashamed.

She desperately wished that he would stop talking about her husband. She had been wrong about Edge – he still couldn't listen to her. Before, she had wanted his old self to return and now that it did, it irritated her. It seemed that age had made her not less complicated… It had made her more patient, though, and thus, she tried to put her thoughts into words, once more:

"Edge, I loved my husband, but that doesn't mean that I stopped thinking about you—"

"Thinking?" Edge looked at her unbelievingly, his tone hovering between mockery and reproach now. "Despite what many people believe, thoughts can definitely not travel! They were not able to visit me in Eblan!"

"And your thoughts were not able to tell me that you wanted me to come! You could have invited me!" Rydia sighed – she knew that this argument was going nowhere. It was just like back then. And "back then" she would have probably shouted in his face now. However, age had taught her other means to make her point clear. At least partly.

"You're such an idiot," she said and made sure that at least her pronunciation showed her anger.

A broad grin spread over Edge's face – this was the Rydia he knew. "I remember that phrase quite well… But couldn't you have shouted it instead?"

Rydia wondered how he had the strength to still sound so… temperamental and joking in his age. She surely couldn't get that agitated any longer…

Suddenly, she realized that she was standing before his chair, closer than she should be, but still not as close as she wanted and that she was looking into his eyes: those blue-gray eyes, now lined by many wrinkles, but still the eyes of the Edge she had always known. An unbearable sadness filled her and she felt like her stomach was cramping, like her whole body was cramping, as if trying to squeeze out the sorrow, trying to make it leave with the salty liquid that now stung in her eyes.

Edge was still grinning – it was the only thing he could do to hide his embarrassment. "It seems that nothing has changed, after all. I still make you cry... Even now, after so many years…" Back then, he would have added a bold assumption to his words, something like: "Did you miss me that much?" but he felt so sad, himself. All this waiting… it had been for nothing.

"I'm… not crying…" Rydia brought forth, but then he took her hand, and his dry and slightly calloused fingers felt so comforting in the way they stroked her skin, so familiar, as if they always had been this way, never younger and smoother. And as he looked at her, grinning, grinning so helplessly, so wearily, (it seemed to her that he had always grinned that way – never arrogantly), she thought that she could no longer bear it and as he pulled her down, gently, she could no longer hold back the tears and to hide them, to do something, to do something she wanted, she accepted his kiss.

It was just like he had expected it all these years – her lips were soft and warm, tasting like ripe, sweet fruit and it filled him with peace and longing at the same time.

"So, why couldn't we do this back at the wedding?" he asked, as her face drew away from him.

"You still don't understand, do you? You were too fiery and I was just a child…" Rydia was still holding his hand, like it was the most natural thing in the world. "I just wanted time to stop, to wait for me –I was so afraid back then, and when I no longer was afraid, life had already went on and had swept us away… I never thought that this could happen – I think that I have always taken you for granted…"

He knew that these words should have given him hope, should grant him the illusion that all these years of waiting had been justified, but they came much too late… He felt vacated, tired in this moment, and angry, too: Angry at himself and at her for such a foolish waste of life.

"Life never swept me away – and even if it did, it swept you with me… I never stopped to miss you. I was too bold and never thought of your feelings and---" He wanted to say, but still, even after all these years he couldn't tell her his true feelings, he couldn't say: "All my life I loved only you. And I still do."

"Yes, it was just never meant to be, like they say," he said, trying to sound facetiously. "We just missed the time, and now it's too late." As if to support his own words, he added: "After all, we're not young anymore." He considered coughing for a good humourus effect, but did not feel like being funny. When he stood up, he ached for real, though. Lately, his back was hurting.

Rydia's heart was beating fast. She knew that the kiss had no meaning – it had just been a small moment, granted by life to turn back the clock-- and still it had felt like she had never kissed before. The moment was gone now, he was about to leave, again. Life did not wait. It was another thing age had taught her.

"So… until next time, then. I can visit you again, right?" There it was for a second – the slight offended undertone that was only meant playfully.

"Of course." She wondered when he would come back – maybe next month, next year? Eblan was far away from Mist.

"Thank you… I'm glad that we have – at least – this." He squeezed her hand for one last time and considered giving her another kiss, maybe on the cheek, but she drew away, nearly afraid and turned around, taking the kettle to the oven to put it away.

Rydia's heart was still fluttering as she heard his steps going towards the door, slowly…

"Edge, do you know that you haven't changed at all?" She was lying – or wasn't she? It no longer seemed like a lie to her. It was the closest thing to "I've missed you; I always have," that she could say. She wished she had said it, though, but now it was too late.

She could hear his small chuckle and then the opening and closing of the door.

With shaking hands she was about to put the empty kettle on the shelf, when there was another knock on the door. It wasn't appropriate in the least, but rather… vehement and impatient. She also could hear a curse along the lines of "damn" and "Rydia". The words between she could only presume, but in her heart she knew what they were.

"Come in. What are you waiting for?" she shouted and her mouth did something it had never done before: It broke into a smile so wide that she thought that her face would break.

As she filled the kettle anew with water, still smiling unbearably, she thought that sometimes "too late" was a very tensile phrase.

It was never too late for tea.

The end

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Author's notes: I never was a Rydia/Edge shipper (however, of all possible Rydia pairings, the one with Edge is the only one that makes at least some sense to me) and some readers of my older works "complained" (in a very nice manner, though) about that lack of closure concerning Edge's and Rydia's relationship in my stories. These comments made me wonder if I wasn't making things "too easy for me" regarding these two and I asked myself: Is it really impossible for them to get together? This is my answer.

I'd like to thank the people who brought me to reassess my opinion of Rydia and Edge slightly; all people who (hopefully) will review; Keane and U2 for their musical "support" (haha) and, as always, most of all I want to thank my friend Doc aka C.R. Carter for beta-reading and… just for being there!

July 2006-07-06

Titania