Sorry this is a day or so late. I was so in the groove writing, I didn't want to stop and edit. This chapter is a little shorter than normal because of the way the sections ended. It was either going to be short or really, really long. Also, I still have no beta so I apologize for any mistakes.
Thanks so much for the comments! They are so appreciated.
Chapter 5
Wanda quickly became the person Bucky looked forward to seeing every morning and thought of as he fell asleep. He'd been training her to fight with knives during the day and the two of them had even attempted working together like she did with Steve and Natasha where she lifted him higher than he could jump. Steve kept interfering with that. Bucky suspected his friend didn't want Wanda to be helping Bucky when he needed her to help him out. Of course, she did it anyway when Steve left. She actually caught on quickly with the knives. Sometimes, she'd accidentally use her powers instead of her hands, then would realize it and attempt to undo it, throwing herself off completely. She was so hard on herself when she messed up, so he rarely said anything. Once, she accidentally cut him, but he didn't care. He was just happy spending the time with her. Wanda, of course, fussed over him.
The last thing he wanted was to be so consumed by her. But he watched her when she wasn't with him. He loved her smile and her laugh. And she had this adorable nose scrunch that always made him smile. Despite being very close to all the others, she still kept quiet more than the rest of them. He'd see her green eyes scanning the faces and body language of everyone, listening to their stories, and she engaged without giving up much of her own thoughts. Sometimes she appeared to be daydreaming, twisting her hair around her finger or biting her lip, and he wondered what she thought of. She seemed more internal like Bucky had become most of the time. But when she first saw him after being apart, her eyes lit up, and she'd give him a smile that she couldn't hide, before catching herself if amongst the others. Bucky smiled more and more each day too.
Although they always managed to stop at kissing, the nights after Steve went inside grew more passionate and loving, rather than just affectionate. She let him hold her, not even caring about the vibranium arm. They'd talk and laugh while she wrapped her arm around his chest and snuggled into his side or while he lay with his head in her lap, while she ran her fingers through his hair. He gained so much peace just from the simpleness of these times. He could feel it slowly healing him, just like being around Steve, in a different way. Sometimes, he felt like the same man he'd been before the war. With Wanda, he almost forgot the Winter Soldier, unless she was probing his mind looking for the bastard. When she called him James, he didn't mind because she always said it during the most intimate times. And her smell, which she claimed was only her shampoo and some fruity shower gel, always lingered on his clothing and bedding. Whether he wanted it or not, she already completely consumed him, he suspected. But he consumed her as well. Being addicted to someone who brought joy into his life after all these decades seemed like something he could easily live with.
The others were warming up to Bucky more quickly than he expected. Scott kept everyone laughing, which helped with any tension because of the close quarters. He could find the fun in almost anything and Bucky liked to hear stories about his clever, young daughter. Clint had given the 'big brother' speech to him about not hurting Wanda, then moved on to being pretty cool with him. He dragged Bucky out hunting one day despite being reminded multiple times that he'd only lived in Brooklyn and Siberia, neither of which had much use for hunting. Natasha and Sam had come with them. That's when Bucky learned to hunt basically meant drinking outside with a weapon. Whether Sam would admit it, even he was getting used to, if not growing fond of, Bucky. They would all drink and play games after dinner. Everyone was climbing the walls being locked down for so long in a small house with six other people, so they tried to find anything to get into other than each other's hair.
Steve had been the most out of sorts anyone had seen him long term. Bucky had seen be worse, but he tended to avoid him unless prepared to get his head chewed off. Steve hated being kept out of action. Worse than that, the press they were all getting was pretty bad. They still haven't cleared Bucky of the bombing, even though Ross knew he didn't do it. Stark wouldn't clear his name, although he had been decent in the interviews about the team, even Steve. Saying it was unfortunate that they couldn't agree on the accords and he hoped that in the future it would be resolved. Bucky suspects it was for his own PR reasons.
The news had been raking Wanda and Bucky over the coals more than anyone. Her because of the bombing in Nigeria and Bucky for both the incident at the UN and the helicarriers disaster a couple of years ago. Some press even linked Bucky and Wanda's actions since they were both previously associated with HYDRA. Apparently, she was part of the new HYDRA that was rebuilding within the Avengers and Bucky was recruiting. He had no idea who they supposedly had recruited. Perhaps people think she recruited Steve, Natasha, and Sam. The worst part of it was the fact that there was open speculation that she intended to bomb the building in Nigeria and Rumlow was her partner that she only killed him off to protect her secrets. Most were conspiracy theories that started on blogs and YouTube that were mentioned in the real press.
It maddened Wanda that none of this press had proof but everyone believed it. Steve had taken a big hit too, mostly because he was on a much higher pedestal than anyone else originally so he had further to fall, he had been the leaders of the Avengers, and Bucky was his best friend. T'Challa made a statement defending Steve's actions and said he did not believe Bucky and Wanda were rebuilding HYDRA, nor had Wanda bombed the building in Nigeria on purpose. He threw shade at Ross by declaring there was evidence that proved Bucky's innocence. It's pretty bad when a stranger has to stick up for her after she accidentally kills his citizens. Wanda suspected he only did it for Steve and Bucky but she couldn't be too picky about her allies.
Being so focused on those issues, Steve mentally checked out. He trained, he ate, he slept, and supervised Wanda's sessions with Bucky. But he didn't seem to notice Wanda and Bucky growing closer. He had approached Bucky the first day after Wanda started working with him and told him to be careful with her. He didn't think Bucky should 'cross any lines' with her or something to that affect because she's 'just a kid' or some such nonsense. Bucky simply nodded because he wouldn't agree to not doing something he suspected had already done. Where Steve's 'line' was, Bucky wasn't sure but he didn't want to debate it with him either. He knew Steve desired her, always touching her was the biggest clue. Worried he was reading things into it, he watched the other men. Clint had always been closest to her and he touched her at times but never anything lingering and it was usually her arm or her shoulder. Which made sense since he was happily married to a woman who was very fond of Wanda. Sam rarely if ever touched her at all from what he saw. Of course, she had just met Scott and he never seemed to be touchy feely with anyone. Scott and Sam were both single men but neither hit on her either.
Steve's hand always lingered on her waist or her back when he came up behind her and led her away or he would frequently drape his arm around her shoulders and his hand would hang down so close to her breast. Bucky wasn't exactly sure why Steve felt like Wanda needed to be physically guided everywhere with his hands. Steve seemed to be shirtless half the time he was around Wanda. Even Scott joked about his hatred of a shirt. The other big clue was the fact that despite Steve being really attracted to Natasha, he hardly touched her.
However, Bucky had no right to say anything and he knew that. He had just met Wanda and certainly couldn't tell Steve to back off, even if he wanted to at times. Steve and he haven't fought over a woman in a century, so they weren't going to start now. He wasn't angry with Steve as much as annoyed that he and Wanda had to hide what was going on. If they were upfront, Steve would have likely stopped touching her so much. Bucky just had to ignore it and not let it come between him and his friend. Wanda's feelings were fairly clear. He could see it in her eyes that she wasn't lying about her feelings for Steve and he knew she felt more for Bucky. What she felt exactly he wasn't sure but it was something different than Steve.
The worst part is the fact that he wanted to share his happiness with Steve. Sometimes he needed his advice or just wanted to talk about it. He felt so strange keeping this from him.
Then Steve told him about how he used to secretly 'sleep' with Wanda when she first arrived at the compound. It was like a gut punch to Bucky. Not that he thought something happened because Steve stressed that it didn't. He had done it as a comfort after her brother died since she had been used to always having Pietro close by. Of course, he understood her need and even his reasons for doing it. What concerned him was the fact she hadn't told him that made him feel like there had to be a reason, some emotions or desires on her part.
As soon as Steve had left them alone that night, Wanda demanded to know what was wrong and why he was being so cold and distant. They ending up having their first argument. He explained that it wasn't the fact it happened, just that she had kept it from him purposely. She stressed that she didn't tell him because it wasn't anything sexual and she didn't like to recall that period right after Pietro died anyway. Bucky admitted he hated the thought of her sleeping in Steve's arms and hated how Steve always seemed to have his hands on her now. More than that, he couldn't stand the fact it bothered him. Then he kept pointing out that he had no right to complain.
Wanda ended up getting mad and said if he had no right to say anything, obviously she misunderstood their relationship, which confused him more. When she started to storm out, he stopped her.
"What do you mean? I don't understand," he demanded. It frustrated him that he felt powerless in their relationship sometimes. But Wanda hadn't been in a relationship before either so she probably felt the same way.
She looked down for a while and when she finally spoke, her voice was quiet and she sounded so sad it made his heart ache. "I guess I thought we were in a place where you could complain about things like that. I mean, nothing happened with Steve, but you keep saying how you have no right to say anything," Wanda explained but she knew she just confused it even more. "Just never mind."
Bucky felt guilty for letting his frustration get the better of him. He needed to be honest with her. "Wanda, we're not going to have a normal relationship. We've only known each other for a very short time, but honestly, I want to be with you," he said taking her hands in his own. "But I feel like you deserve things that I have no way of giving you. A better man would walk away so you could have those things with someone else." The very thought of that pained him. "But if you're saying I mean more to you than just a friend… God, I keep getting stuck on the fact I can't give you what you deserve. I don't know if I ever will." He reached up and caressed her face before kissing her.
"I don't care. I have never had anything Bucky so I won't miss it." She bit her lip before she said in a rush, "I want to be with you too. I don't know if this is love, I don't know if I would even know what love is, if I felt it. It's crazy because it's only been a short time but I don't think I could make it through the day without seeing you. And it terrifies me because I'm scared that you'll leave me."
Drawing her into his arms, he just held her for a long time. His mind raced and he knew he had to know the truth. It had bothered him since she showed him her memory of her and Pietro talking about him. "You're not telling me everything about Siberia, are you?" he asked suddenly. He pulled back to watch her face and she looked conflicted, but finally just admitted there was more.
"I wanted you to remember it on your own someday," she whispered, then turned and walked a short distance away. Bucky waited, but she didn't elaborate.
"Wanda? Please, just tell me. I don't know if it's something good or bad and it terrifies me that you're going to drop a bomb on me."
She sat down and looked at her hands for a long time. "He called me Vishnya and he grew fond of me. But then you woke up. And I… couldn't. I just couldn't hurt you. You even called me out for the fact I couldn't hurt you but had no problem hurting you as the Winter Soldier."
"So, he was nice and I was mean to you?" Bucky felt conflicted at the possibility but he just wanted to understand what happened.
Wanda shook her head before saying. "No, that's not it. I was the only one that showed him any compassion or tenderness, so he liked that. I didn't really do a lot. Sometimes if he was get stressed or upset, I would hold his hand or just touch his shoulder, but I guess that wasn't human touch that he never received. Naturally, you didn't trust me at all. And you were the actual victim, not him, and I had seen so much of your pain and suffering. Some truly awful things that you don't even remember now." Tears streamed down her face. She took a shaky breath and he realized that in all this he had forgotten how much of his trauma she was dealing with, some even he had been spared from remembering. "I faked I was working on your mind. I can use the energy however I want. And I wanted to help you. That's when I pieced together your memories of Steve. So that if you ever saw him again, you would know. I didn't know if it would work, but I just wanted to help. Over time, you seemed to develop trust, then affection for me, I think. But I don't know if it was natural or because I had woken up a repressed desire to find love and a need for affection."
Running his hands through his hair, Bucky just watched her, still not sure why she was so upset. He sensed there was a lot more.
Finally, she continued, "One night, apparently you gave someone a hard time. They tortured you, beat you, and had done some sort of brutal medical treatment. You were in pretty terrible shape. The next day, they left us alone in some side room that was like a treatment room, not the main room, and they restrained you in a way I could remove them. I was just trying to heal you. And you kissed me quite a lot. Things grew really intimate between us." Her cheeks turned pink as her eyes met his, clearly not intending to go into details on that. "I'm sure it meant nothing to you, but I still remember. I feared they planned to kill you. Eventually, someone returned and caught us."
"The next day, the Winter Soldier was awake again. Somehow, he knew everything, including me helping you instead of doing as they ordered me. I don't know how he knew, because he shouldn't have. It didn't work like that most of the time. He told me that he convinced them to make me stay and I could use my powers to wipe him completely, remove all of your memories. He wanted to stop the cryo and the mind wipe. They also intended to 'give me to him'. And of course, the officers in Siberia wanted me to stay really so they could use me as another weapon."
"Give you to him?" Bucky said feeling a bit nauseous. "Did he rape you?"
She shook her head quickly. "No, it never went that far. I don't think he remembered that I still could access his mind. I just played along until I was alone with him in the chair then I changed some of his memories, his thoughts of me, convinced him that he didn't want me at all. I also had to convince the officers as well. He seemed to be there until the two days before I left and I was close to being finished. The last day, you woke up and you didn't remember me when you saw me again, I was just the person who was helping them to hurt you. By mistake, I had wiped myself from your mind completely."
.
Bucky felt stunned. He knew his feelings for her had grown so fast but he never suspected this. And though he had no control, he felt guilty. "Wanda… I'm sorry. I don't know what to say. You said it 'didn't go that far'. Are you saying that something more than a kiss or two happened?"
Wanda stared at him like he had grown a second head. "I just told you that we meant something to each other and how I accidentally wiped myself completely from your memory and your only concern is wanting to know if he touched me?" She looked at him incredulously. "It doesn't matter anyway." When she got up to leave, he attempted to follow her but she pushed him away using her powers and wouldn't let him come close to her. Moments after she left, he heard her going in the house.
Bucky didn't know what to do. No one else would ever have a similar problem to give him advice. Not that he would ask anyway. Perhaps it was for the best if they didn't get together. As he said, he could never give her all that she deserved. But at the same time, she had fallen for him twice so maybe it was meant to be. Either way, he had to talk to her.
Peering in the back window showed that despite all the noise from the others having a good time, she wasn't downstairs. He would have to explain where he was going if he went through the house so, instead he climbed onto the roof of the back porch and walked to her window. He stopped when he saw Steve talking to her in the doorway. He left and she closed the bedroom door.
After a few minutes, he tapped on the window. Wanda stared at him for a few moments before sighing and coming to open the window and let him in. She went to lock the door and turned on a radio in her room. He assumed so they could talk. Before she could do anything else, he grabbed her arms and pulled her to him. "I'm sorry. I was a little stunned. Well, actually I was completely shocked and reacted badly. I kept asking about him because I wanted to make sure he didn't hurt you, not because I was being… territorial. The thought that he could hurt you, it was my body and my face that you'd remember and it terrified me. I didn't want you to ever think of him hurting you when you look at me. I know that 'he' is actually me which is still horrifying to me every day."
"Bucky, trust me when I say I can see the differences between you easily. He kissed me and…" She hesitated and appeared to be attempting to say it so he wouldn't be angry. Eventually she shook her head and said, "He seemed to want… I'm not sure. It was like he wanted me to fix things for him like the memory wipes. And he seemed to be trying to win me over most of the time so that I would. But if this is a competition, you've gone further." She turned away and he could see he had upset her again.
Coming up behind her, he wrapped his arms around her and kissed her on the neck. "It's not a competition, Wanda. I don't know what to say about the rest. It's too hard for me to wrap my head around it yet. I feel guilty because I don't remember and I want to. But at the same time, it shows that we were meant to find each other again."
Wanda was quiet for a long time. She turned in his arms and rested her head on his chest. When she finally spoke, her voice was so soft, he barely heard her. "Stay with me tonight. Not to make love, just to be with me."
Bucky didn't really care if it was smart or not. "I will." She needed him and he wanted to be with her tonight. He'd make sure to control his urges. Turning out the light, she starting undressing. The moonlight was enough to see where he was going but not see her. Just her silhouette, which captivated him. He took off his boots and his shirt while watching her. Climbing onto the bed in what appeared to only be a long t-shirt, she told him he could take off his jeans as long as he wasn't going commando. Bucky wasn't exactly sure what that meant but he suspected he wasn't. Part of him resisted the thought of climbing into a bed with her wearing only underwear. There was no way he could resist making love to her if they got carried away. But maybe if he didn't it'd show her that he wasn't like those other men. It didn't help that he already had a hard-on though. When he hesitated, she rose to her knees and helped with his belt and zipper. Bucky stepped back to remove them the rest of the way. He had to slow things down because he felt they were already going far too fast.
As soon as Bucky slid into the sheets beside her, he attempted to roll her over him so she wasn't on the side with the vibranium arm. But Wanda had other ideas and sat up on top of him. "Bucky in Siberia was a lot more aggressive than you. I'm not complaining. I'm just saying." She leaned forward to kiss him teasingly. Whenever he attempted to deepen the kiss, she'd pull away. He tried to ignore her ass rubbing against his hardon but her teasing him wasn't helping. Eventually he gripped the back of her neck and rolled them both over and settled between her legs. She gasped in surprise but quickly wrapped her arms around his neck.
After kissing her until they were both breathless, he kissed down her throat He pulled the neck of her t-shirt down, sucking on her flesh and leaving a mark. Wanda explored his chest and belly with her nails first, then her hands.
"Your body is amazing," she whispered, sitting up and running her tongue up his chest.
Unable to resist, he backed away, only to pull her shirt up to kiss her stomach. He moaned when he realized she was only wearing skimpy panties. "This wasn't a good idea. This is torture." He groaned, resting his head on her chest.
"I'm sorry. No, no I'm not sorry," she said, pulling his face up. "I've wanted you since Siberia. I don't want to wait anymore."
Bucky closed his eyes and attempted to calm himself. "Wanda, I don't want you to rush into this." But even as he said it, he moved up her body to kiss her again. His hand seemed to have a mind of its own as he reached down and lifted her shirt again.
Before she could answer, there was an urgent knock at the door. They couldn't even cover up and they just stared as Natasha came into the room. Bucky being there surprised her a bit, but she recovered in the short time it took him to grab a sheet and cover himself. "Okay, lovebirds. We need to leave as soon as everyone packs. A joint task force of CIA, BND, and the UN Police will be here probably within an hour. The next safe house has cars for us so we're just taking our own things." Without saying another word, she left the room.
"I'll go out the window," Bucky said, dressing quickly. "Shit. Steve probably already went out there." As soon as he was dressed, he bent down to kiss her, lingering a minute. "We'll talk about this later."
"You mean continue this later, right?" she said, with a hint of a smile.
"Yeah…we'll talk about continuing it," Bucky replied with a grin. "You're going be the death of me."
When he left, Wanda sighed, dropping her head. Maybe fate intervened and stopped her from being extremely risky, but she couldn't help feeling so frustrated. And not just sexually frustrated. The house was wide awake now, so she tried to put it out of her mind for now and rushed to get dressed and throw what little she had into her bag. Going to the bathroom to get her stuff and pee before they left, she ran right into Steve.
"You okay, Wanda?" he asked, handing some stuff to Sam and Clint.
"Yeah, of course," she said. Concern written on his face, Steve reached out to touch her collar bone. "How did you get a bruise like that?"
Unable to think of anything, she just paused before Natasha came up behind her. "Let's move it, people!" She gave Wanda a look that let her know that she didn't want to be her go to for rescuing. Wanda rushed into the bathroom before Steve asked again. After washing her hands, she brushed her hair and put it in a ponytail. She saw the hickey that Bucky left and almost died. It was nearly black. No wonder Steve asked about her bruise. She looked like a victim of a vampire. Grabbing her toiletries, she ran out to throw them in her bag and rush downstairs.
While the guys loaded everything up, she and Natasha started throwing groceries into bags so they'd at least have food until they could go to the store again. "I'm not judging and I'm not interfering but be careful, Wanda," Natasha said quietly.
"That's the first time he's been up there, I promise."
"Its not the first time you two have spent the night together though. And I'm not trying to keep tabs on you but I figured you'd rather me warn you to be careful than Steve or Clint. Personally, I like Bucky. We ex-assassins have to stick together. But the guys are irrational when it comes to you. I could sleep with the whole Army and no one cares," Natasha said with a chuckle. "One ex-assassin, former HYDRA agent with mind control issues sleeping with you might be one too many for them."
"I would care if you slept with the whole army," Wanda promised with a smile.
"Ladies, I was sent to fetch you," Sam said, holding out arms for the bags. Hearing a noise outside that was getting louder, he yelled, "Shit!" The whole house shook as a helicopter flew overhead.
"Get to the jet. I'll take care of it," Wanda said and rushed outside. Steve ran up beside her as she exited. "Any chance we can get away under stealth? Because if I stop them, I'm pretty sure they're going to know we're here."
"Wanda can get rid of the chopper and I'll take her on the bike," Bucky said, then ran into the barn for the motorcycle.
Steve hesitated, and she nudged him. "Go. It'll be fine." She stayed out of their spotlight until she heard his whistle, letting her know they were taking off. Scanning the tree line, she looked for some place to force him down without hurting them. It surprised her when Bucky pushed her out of the way, throwing his arm up in front of her, right before bullets started raining down on them.
"I guess they have a kill order," he muttered. She blocked the next round.
"Well, I was planning to land their chopper nicely but fuck that," she retorted, circling her hand through the air and yanking away all their guns, she let them fall to the ground. Pushing the chopper away, she slung it through the air to a bare area toward the mountain. "If I cut the engine, will it hit the ground too hard and kill them?"
"Most likely. I don't think he would have time to correct. And if he did correct, he could come after us again. If you don't want to kill people, just bring it down hard from a short distance. It'll knock them out maybe, but they'll walk away from it. You don't want to blow it up," Bucky answered, then smiled at her, wrapping his hand around her hips. "It's pretty hot when you do this, you know?"
Wanda just laughed, then dropped the helicopter almost to the ground and only let them fall about fifty feet. It didn't explode, so it relieved her. And they were far enough away they should be safe. Bucky started the bike, and she climbed on behind him. He hesitated for a few minutes after she put on the helmet. Then he spun the bike around, going down a tiny path beside the house. Before she could ask him why, she heard the sounds and saw the lights of the soldiers and agents arriving at the house. Wanda held onto Bucky tightly because the path was horribly rocky and narrow. It ended on a dirt road and there were a couple of cars with flashing lights there, too. She tried to make them 'disappear' before the men there saw them, but she knew they had at least seen them for a few moments. But since they couldn't follow them, she laid her head on Bucky's back, just relieved they got away.
They had an hour ride to where the rendezvous point was, then who knows how far away the next safe house was. She'd miss this house because of the barn. Once again, she forgot a jacket or a hoodie and the speed at which the bike was going made her cold. She snuggled up to Bucky and stuck her hands in his jacket pockets. She thought about moving her hands under his shirt and warming them on his stomach, but she didn't want to startle him with her icy hands.
"I can pull over if you need my jacket," he yelled.
"I'd prefer snuggling up to you. If I get cold, I might stick my hands up your shirt to get warm." He chuckled and she repeated herself, "Up your shirt, not down your pants." Despite the fact they were in danger again, she felt safe. Partially because she knew she could protect herself but mostly because of Bucky. Moving her hands to his warm stomach, she smiled. She could get used to being a biker chick.
Her biker chick days were likely over by the time they reached the jet, at least long-distance riding. Bucky slid his hand across her back and winked at her when she looked over at him. Steve and Sam came out of the jet and Steve grilled her over what happened with the task force and what they did exactly while Sam helped Bucky get the bike on the jet. Steve wrapped his arm around her shoulders and led her onboard. She knew this is what Bucky had been talking about but she couldn't exactly pull away from him.
Deciding that maybe she could get advice from Natasha, she headed straight to sit beside her. But Nat was talking to Clint so Wanda ended up falling asleep.