Chapter 10: Fade to Black
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Faith's Notebook:
April 29th, 2005.
What was left? Pain? Blood? Tears? There was nothing left except hurt and agony. Useless blood shed, meaningless hurt and loss. Chaos rained down on everyone that day. The skies were dark as the sirens wailed. Car tires screeched and the sky cried for those who have fallen.
Blood was shed today. What's the point of blood shed? I've begun questioning the point of my own. What's the use? Kill the pain by causing more? Wash the pain away by drowning in blood? Cause pools of blood to cleanse myself in? What's the point? I can't remember what feeling is like; I've made myself numb for so long. And I can't wake myself up.
Too, too numb.
A song is stuck in my head, just keeps bouncing around in the emptiness. Bound at every limb by my shackles of fear. Sealed with lies through so many tears. Lost from within, pursuing the end. I fight for the chance to be lied to again.
Somehow it speaks to me. Moves me, makes feel a little. They'll never see, I'll never be. I'll struggle on and on to feed this hunger burning deep inside of me.
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Faith put her pen down. She looked at her notebook. Her handwriting was messy, and her notebook was in just as bad shape. She could hear her mother screaming. Something about where her liquor was. She was getting close to Faith's bedroom.
She didn't want this right now, she didn't want her mother yelling at her. She grabbed her backpack shoved some clothes in and climbed out the window carefully and onto the roof. She carefully climbed down the roof shingles. She lost her footing and fell cutting her stomach on the roof. She could hear her mother bitching at the wall.
She touched her stomach and felt blood. She looked at her hand, stained with blood. Her vision blurred. The blood dripped from her hand. Everything was fading to black.
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Excerpts from Faith's notebook:
Goodbye.
If I say goodbye,
If I say I love you,
If I say I need you,
Which one will I say first?
Which one will you think is true?
If I say I love you will you think of me as crazy?
Or will you welcome me with open arms?
Will you hold me close?
Will you say you love me too?
If I lock my arms around your neck,
Will you take my hand and kiss me to make it better?
If I look in your eyes and see anything but darkness,
Will you look into mine and see the same?
If I say I need you,
Will you say you need me, too?
If I say I love you,
Will you say you love me, too?
And if I fall,
Will you be there to catch me?
And if I cry,
Will you wipe away all of my tears?
Will you save me as I bleed?
-End
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Faith looked at her arm. It was now covered in blood. She could hear her mother screaming.
"Yeah, you deserve to die you little whore," Marjorie shouted.
Faith looked at her stomach and everything went black.
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Hehehe sorry, cliff hanger.