I never truly understood what you saw in me. The day I framed you for punching me in the face and giving me a black eye for our stage fighting assignment, you shouldn't have been nice to me. I specifically told you that this isn't how it's supposed to work, you're not supposed to show me patience and understanding when I was nothing but a jealous bitch. How I've changed is my true and honest hard work to counter my self deprecating ways, but your continued compassion and care for me is what made it worth it. No one has ever given me a reason to want to actually take the risk of feeling genuinely happy, but I guess I should have acted upon that sooner. Now, you've been severely injured and don't even remember who I was, but I know you'll learn that I'm a vile person. Maybe you'll hate me all over again, despise me from day one and then what if you don't choose to forgive me again? Life is short, and there's no time to be friends with rude people, especially while you're under all this pressure to put the pieces of your life back together. You shouldn't make the time to sort through my issues on top of your own. I shouldn't even bother with you, it would only hurt you more.
This was Jade's second night staying up far too late on her phone. The further back she went into conversations, the nastier she was to Tori. Making fun of her clothes, the way she talks, mocking her questions during classes when she was brand new to the world drama. It was no question that Jade despised when people just seemed to appear in her world and instantly get put on a pedestal; Jade had worked incredibly hard on her acting and writing since she was in elementary school, and she knew her lack of support from her parents is what made her envious. Tori had the perfect house, perfect grades, perfect energy; there wasn't a single flaw. It's just that over time, Jade couldn't help but to learn to fall in love with all of those things. How could she envy the one person that made Jade actually feel important? She would never admit it, the way Tori makes her feel, but of course it's true.
She couldn't stop imagining what gravity Tori must be feeling. How alienating it must be to know you have to start at a 'brand new' school where everyone already knows more about you and what you've done than you know yourself. The fear of judgement and an overload of attention were already an issue that Jade had to handle on a daily basis, but at least she wakes up knowing exactly who she is every single day.
Tomorrow was Friday, and the cast list for The Laramie Project would be posted on the bulletin board first thing in the morning. Jade was heartbroken that the audition alone had become such an important process for Tori, and now it's like they might as well have not announced this as the Fall play at all. Though, maybe there could still be hope that Tori would figure things out again, but Jade knew it was extremely unlikely for that to be a repeated process identical to the first.
It took almost an hour for Jade to eventually drift to sleep in her bed. Although the sound of rain in her ears was just from her white noise sleep playlist, she would compare her current state of grief to standing in a downpour.
Even though she had been surrounded by family, Tori had never felt so alone. She had never missed her house, her room, her bed like she did right now. While so much of her recent life had become intangible, she's had her house and room since she was seven, and wanted nothing more than to finally leave the hospital and have all of the tests be over.
Do I tell people what happened? Do I reach out to old friends from like, middle school? Do I want to tell people this happened to me? Jesus, you'll probably be on the local news. I don't want to make anyone upset, but I cannot bear to be trapped in my house for weeks. If this is meant to prevent anxiety and dissociation, I am almost sure that if anything, it will invoke it.
Trina was gone. She left after lunch earlier today, promising to Facetime Tori every chance she could get. Holly was taking time off of work, and David switched to night shifts so that he could be around during the day to be with Tori, taking two long naps in the morning and another right before his shift began. Tori had spent a lot of time looking through pictures as well; she saw the same faces over and over again in her phone: Andre, Cat, Andre, Andre, Beck, Andre, Robbie, Jade, Andre, Jade covering her face from the camera, Cat.
It made sense that it was mostly Andre in the pictures. Tori must have had a hobby of sniping candid pictures of Andre throughout the school day, because there were at least 400 pictures of silly Andre faces. Jade on the other hand, hardly appeared at all. There were some screenshots, though, of her posts on Instagram. I wouldn't take these to talk shit about her, would I? Tori may not have remembered her experience at Hollywood Arts, but she knew it was more often than not that people took screenshots of their friends' posts to send to another friend and talk behind their back. How could she have done that to Jade though? There's absolutely nothing bad about that picture, at all.
Going through her own Slap page was fairly concerning. How weird was her life before this happened? Apparently, it was definitely chaotic, and even that may be an understatement.
She had spent hours digging through her phone only to feel that ultimately, hardly progress had been made. The more she attempted to piece her past-self together like a puzzle, the more Tori realized there likely still wouldn't be a clear picture even if all the pieces are placed correctly. Maybe she'd be left with a solid white, blank puzzle; all of the pieces fit, but there is no image to behold once it is done.
It wasn't even the cliche, "high school is the best part of anyone's childhood" and forgetting some of it that upset Tori, it was how she now isn't sure of all of the lessons she had learned along the way. She would miss the valuable learning experiences that occur in teenage years, not forgetting the prom or having straight A's. Those would all just become memories after time anyway, but all of the tough things she might have gone through, what she learned from them would have made her who she was going to be before the accident. And that means nothing now.
"So, I'm sure you know why I called you down."
Jade rolled her eyes so hard it almost hurt. "Yes, so I can tell you how horribly traumatized I am,"
Lane leaned forward in his seat. "Let's start with how you felt after you visited Tori at the hospital."
"Pissed. Worthless. Pathetic."
"Why worthless?"
Jade threw her hands up in a shrug. "Well, I was just beginning to not hate her, but now she's going to learn about all of the terrible things I did to her."
He nodded. "So you're feeling regret for everything you two have been through? Maybe some things you've said, some of the quarrels that have happened-"
"Yes, okay? I feel like an absolute asshole-"
"Jade-"
"And I can't even change any of that! She has her phone that somehow miraculously didn't break in the crash. She will read through all of our old messages-"
"What will she find in the messages?" He interrupted, finally stopping Jade from spilling and letting her think for a minute.
Her mind flashed through every old conversation she had dug up in the past few nights, wishing they weren't constantly burning in her mind. "Uhh… well there's one time where I like, told her that she had a tag stuck on her shirt for an entire school day but waited to tell her until she got home-"
"Why'd you do that?"
Jade began smiling and shrugged her shoulders, shifting the grip of her coffee cup in her hands. "I don't know. It's fun to pick on her."
"Fun?"
"Yeah, you know... It's harmless, and she's really cute when she's worked up."
Fuck. Did I just tell Lane she's fucking cute?
Lane raised an eyebrow at the girl he had always been suspicious of. Not to stereotype her overall appearance, but he wouldn't be surprised...
"Some people don't appreciate that, you know. After time it can ruin friendships, even if you don't truly mean to bring harm to them-"
"Whoa, whoa, whoa. Who said we were friends? "
"You. Over and over again, Jade."
"I'd never say that, especially to you ?"
"You don't need to. You're always with her and your friend group. You may not think of all of them as your closest friends ever-"
Jade smirked and leaned back in her chair. "You can say Robbie, you know."
Lane glared back at the teenager before continuing. "But they mean something to you. Clearly Tori means something to you. You cannot deny that. Call her a friend, or don't call her a friend. You care about her."
Of course she knew he was right, but she doesn't need to tell him shit about her relationships. It's none of his business, and he's really not going to fix anything regarding Jade's feelings on Tori's accident. "Well, whatever. That's not even the worst I've said, obviously. That's nice compared to other things."
"Luckily, you can prove yourself differently this time."
Lane was having trouble empathizing with the girl who was the biggest bully to Tori for almost two straight years at school, but he knew if she was telling him this much, she really did mean it. Seeing as a few seconds of silence goes by in a conversation with Jade that she doesn't have a snarky remark, he should continue the conversation himself.
"You and your other friends should probably be supporting each other a lot through this time. I'm sure you're all experiencing similar grief, so I'd keep them close. You don't need to isolate yourself-"
"I also don't want to be constantly reminded of how shitty this situation is, so there's that."
"And you should have some routine of self care, Jade. You should organize moments in your day where you're distracted so you can take a break from this difficult situation. I can help you with that."
She had heard the coping mechanisms spiel before: read a book, listen to music, go on a walk, call a friend, see a movie, eat your favorite meal, light candles, meditate, journal. It was almost worse to temporarily escape just to come right back to the issue. What's the point of escaping in the first place if the problem never leaves?
"I mean, okay. Fine."
Lane picked up his clipboard and pen. "Alright, what's your go to when things get rough?"
"Watching The Scissoring."
He rolled his eyes. "Not sure how that horrid movie would make you feel better but-"
"It does. It's my coping mechanism not yours."
"Okay, fair. What about something less… Gruesome?"
Jade thought for a minute, knowing she's never actually tried any of the typical activities and taken it seriously. "Ummm… I don't know. Sometimes I just get in my car and drive. Listen to music, maybe grab a coffee."
"Okay, that sounds nice. What else?"
"Ugh, I just listed like three things shouldn't that be enough?"
Lane sighed and looked up from his clipboard. "Just know that when you start to feel like nothing is working or making you feel better, you can come see me any time."
"I'm really not worried about that happening."
Of course she was worried about that happening. But nothing would fix this hole in her heart until Tori at least knew at some point how Jade truly felt about her. There was only one way for that to happen, but it can't happen anymore.
"How are the others?"
Jade shrugged. "Andre's really upset, she was his best friend for two years. Cat is having trouble wrapping her brain around the whole thing. Beck isn't cracking, of course. Robbie is really worried and doesn't want to accept it."
Lane shook his head. "I can't imagine how this must feel for all of you."
"Well, you're lucky. So what do I do?"
"What do you want to do?"
"I want to be home, reading the play, practicing my lines over and over again and pretending like none of this is happening."
Lane smiled, remembering Jade during her incredible audition. "You're going to be great as Rebecca, congratulations."
"Thanks… Hey, how do you want me to help Tori through this? Like do you want me to just practice with her whenever she's available, and kind of explain all of the choices I'm making?"
"Yeah, you know... We don't expect you to be her actual tutor or anything. Skowitz is going to meet with her during his lunch on Mondays and Wednesdays. But if you just meet two or three times a week to go through a scene, and once she's comfortable she can try acting whatever scene you're working on."
Jade sighed, taking a moment to acknowledge just how much she wanted Tori to have the role. She was cast as the understudy, but had another small role so she had a chance to actually perform with the group.
"You know, she was really excited about this play. I think it meant a lot to her that we're doing something like this for school. I'm really glad, too."
Lane smiled at Jade, concluding in his head that his speculation about Jade is probably true. Of course, he wouldn't ask her; she would say it herself when she was ready.
Everyone at school knew Lane was gay. If he wasn't a person of authority, Jade thought she would treat him a little more kindly. She couldn't help it; the memory of family therapy when Jade's parents started fighting with each other before spilling up had tainted the entire experience for her. She wished it wasn't that way.
"I think a lot of kids will learn a great amount from it. It's the first time we've done anything like this, but I finally convinced them to. It will be great, and you'll be fantastic."
Jade nodded as the bell rang. Lane offered a hand out to the girl, who hesitantly shook her hand with his. "Take care of yourself, Jade."
"We'll see," she muttered before turning around and leaving.
"Honey, you need to put your phone down for a while. It's not good for your eyes to be staring at that screen for so long."
Holly was preparing a family pot pie while Tori rested on the couch.
"I know, I'm sorry. It's just so weird and interesting. Like, how weird was I?"
"Incredibly. You go to a weird school," Holly said in a matter of fact tone. "But you loved it, and you will continue to love it."
The girl sighed, finally agreeing to lock her phone and set it down. Even after she had stopped looking through texts, dozens of them flew through her mind as she tried to piece together scenes she had never seen.
"Did I really sing the national anthem and then get dragged around by a dog by the end of it?"
"Ugh, yes that really did happen," Holy confirmed, beginning to laugh a bit.
Tori's mouth fell open. "Well don't laugh! That must have been so embarrassing!"
"Oh definitely," Holly replied after licking a spoon. "It's okay sweetie, plenty more embarrassing things have happened to you as well."
Another groan. "God, okay I get it. You want me to take a rest from lost memories."
Holly shrugged as she wiped her hands with a dish towel. "Let's talk about the next steps."
The loudest goran yet. "I don't want to."
"Your doctor has scheduled to have a therapist come here next week."
"Mom please, no. Do I have to?"
"I know you're not excited about it, and that's okay, but it's a necessary step in your recovery. If you don't click with who you'll meet, we can always try to find a different person for you to talk to."
Tori knew this was all true, but she had never seen a therapist in her life. Last she knew, Tori was still fifteen and the word "therapy" would give most fifteen year olds the chills. "Okay, when does that start?"
"Wednesday."
"Will you be there, in the room with me?"
Holly stopped for a second, looking to her daughter who could easily break the mother's heart when frowning. "Of course, I'm sure they won't mind."
The brunette offered a small smile, and within seconds picked her phone back up after it buzzed.
Hey Tori! How are you feeling? ?
"Already on your phone again?" Holly called from the kitchen.
"Cat texted me," Tori responded.
Hi Cat! I'm okay, it's definitely nice to finally be out of the hospital.
Oh I'm so glad! Now you can take a bath and soak your worries away!
Tori smiled, but was unsure of how to respond to a rather random suggestion. How would I normally reply to this? Who even is Cat? I mean, I know she's the redheaded one. But yikes. She's just being nice, don't overthink it.
"What did she say?"
"Just checking on me, seeing how I'm feeling."
How's everyone at school?
We're okay. It's just really quiet. We miss you a lot ?
I'm sure you won't be saying that once I'm back and have no idea what I'm doing lol
Silly Tori. Nothing's going to keep me from squeezing you every day again. And I mean nothing!
"What did I do to deserve such good friends?"
"Cat punched you in the face one," Holly spit back without thinking.
"What?!" Tori was horrified to find her mother laughing yet again.
Holly waved her hand as she gathered herself. "No, no. I mean. She didn't mean to. Well... I won't get into that today."
The brunette scowled, nervously thinking of what to say next.
I do love hugs, I'm not opposed to that.
Of course you do! Let me know if you need anything, any of us would be over in a heartbeat! Love you Tori ❤️
What a strange feeling to be showered with warmth and love by someone you hardly even know. What a stranger feeling to realize that there are probably a great amount of reasons they have to love you, but you don't know what any of them are. How can I accept this love if I don't understand where it's coming from and why? They don't owe me anything just because this happened to me.
"Tori, is everything alright?" Holly noticed the girl had dozed off into a stare. She couldn't help but worry it was anything other than Tori getting lost in thought.
"Yeah, um… I just feel so awful about not knowing my friends." She curled up into a ball and leaned into the back of the couch. "But I know I like them a lot so far."
Holly smiled warmly as she sat down next to Tori. "Cat was always really nice. Except for that one time."
"Ugh, don't remind me," Tori lightened up a bit. "But I'm sure I had fights with all of them."
"Oh, definitely. Even Andre!"
Just tell me everything. I can't stand this feeling like I have to build up years of my life that came crumbling down. The pieces won't fit back together the same way no matter what I do. But I need to try, I don't want to miss out on my senior year and these friends I've had any more than I already have. I need to use every minute like it's my last. Well, last minutes of high school. Unless I have to repeat a grade again. God that's going to suck, I'm going to watch my friends, that I don't remember, graduate and then get left behind because I got hit by a car? Fuck this.
"When's dinner gonna be ready?"
"In about a half hour."
Tori didn't want to be selfish, but she was dreading being home for two weeks. She understood that she needed to be monitored, needed to rest and brace herself for the year coming up. She never did well when she was constrained to the walls of her house.
"When can my friends come over again?"
"Well, they can't all at once."
"Why?"
"Too stimulating. Your doctor yelled at me, you know, for letting five of your friends in at once."
The brunette frowned. She couldn't imagine letting each of them in singularly, like an interview or something. Tori wouldn't describe the previous encounter with the group as awkward, but it was definitely strange to see a group of friends who were clearly close with each other interact, while she felt like such a small fraction in the whole.
"Well, can I see one of them ? Maybe in a few days?"
"I guess. I'll have to ask your doctor, though. I don't see why not you couldn't if everything goes well."
Tori sighed in relief, a warmth already growing in her chest at the thought of seeing the one friend she couldn't stop thinking about.
"Thank you, I know it must be so weird."
"What do you mean?" Holly brushed her hand over the hair on Tori's head.
"You, seeing me meet all my friends again. I know you have opinions on all of them and-"
"My opinions don't matter. It's your life. Each and every one of them has a special place in your life, and I don't need to rethink that for a second, it's true. And you'll see it over time, too."
Crying was painful. It made Tori's head throb in an unbearable manner, but it relieved her heart in ways she couldn't comprehend. She had always been physically affectionate with her mother, but Holly definitely wasn't against these newfound frequent cuddling sessions, as much as it hurt to hear Tori this upset and confused.
"Mom, when did I break up with Danny?"
Holly's eyes widened as she folded another of Tori's sweatshirts. "Firstly, after this conversation, we don't mention his name in this house anymore."
Tori giggled as her mom remained scowling. She continued, "Um, I don't know. March of your Freshman year, maybe?"
"Right. I knew we broke up, but the end of Freshman year isn't super clear."
"You don't miss him, do you?" Holly narrowed her eyes on her daughter.
Tori scoffed. "No."
"Good. Have you talked to him?"
The brunette's lips pressed together as she hid a smile. "Maybe…"
Holly groaned, remembering what had happened between her, Danny, and Cat a few years ago. "Tori!"
"What! He's the last person I like, fully remember other than family! I don't like him, I promise. I wouldn't even know how that would work, let alone be a good idea."
"I don't mean to be controlling, you know that's the last thing I want to be, but please stay away from him. That's way too complicated."
"I know, I know. I'm sorry. I just… thought it might feel comforting in a way."
Holly sighed, reminding herself to be understanding that Tori will naturally want to reconnect with all of her past. "No, I get it. Sorry, I get protective."
"Yeah, no kidding," Tori huffed while laying back down in her bed. "I can help, you know."
"No, I don't want you lifting anything."
"You don't want me lifting pairs of jeans?"
Another pair of narrowed eyes from her mom. "Just take it easy."
Tori's eyes were on the ceiling again. Danny didn't say much about what happened. There's not much to say though. Wow, that's awful. I'm so sorry. I'm here if you ever need to talk. How are things going now? What are you going to do about school? Will you stay at Hollywood Arts? How are your friends? You're strong, Tori. You got this. Reach out any time. What else was an ex boyfriend supposed to say?
"Okay. Have you talked to any of my teachers yet? Do they know anything?"
"It's Saturday, sweetie. I think they're having a meeting next Monday to come up with a plan for you. As soon as I know anything you'll know shortly after."
Tori sighed. Two weeks in purgatory.
"Oh," Holly began again, a tone that raised excitement in Tori who sat up in bed.
"What?"
Her mom brushed her hair out of her face. "Well, the night of the accident, you auditioned for a play at school-"
"Jesus, that night?"
"Yeah, well you and your friend Jade auditioned for the same role. She got that role, and the guidance counselor Lane is a director for that show. He talked to Jade and she agreed to having you shadow her. You'll be her understudy."
Jade, the one Tori couldn't get off her mind. Mysterious, funny, ' you're incredible' Jade. "Oh! Um, she hasn't texted me at all…"
Holly recognized the look that fell over Tori's face, and the slight pout of her lip. "I'm sure she's just busy and wants to give you space."
"Yeah. Well that's exciting… wait, what's an understudy?"
Her mom cleared her throat. "Uh, well, if Jade gets sick or something comes up and she's unable to make it, you would play her role instead of her. You're like her backup, you'd both learn and practice the same lines and everything-"
"Whoa, I'm not going to be ready for that though?"
A smirk formed across her mom's face as she looked back up at Tori. "Jade doesn't miss a performance for anything. Don't worry."
Jade and Andre weren't usually the two to spend time together outside of the friend group, but Andre felt like that should change. After Tori had told him about her feelings for Jade, he couldn't help but feel he should get to know Jade a little better, especially considering his speculations on how she felt in return. He also worried for Jade; they had never had any trouble getting along. After that awkward time of falling for her for a few days he realized that once she feels completely comfortable with someone, she's just as goofy and friendly as the rest of their friends. What people often misunderstood about Jade is that if she is uncomfortable, it's probably with herself. It just comes across very differently to a lot of people. This was something she had taken a lot of time to reflect on after she and Beck broke up, and Andre saw her growth as much as Tori did.
She ordered coffee and a croissant, causing Andre to give her a look of concern. "That's your lunch?"
"Yup, with all of the basic food groups: carbs and coffee," she beamed as she sat down in her chair.
"I would have such a bad stomach ache if that's all I ate with coffee," Andre shuddered at the thought.
Jade shrugged. "Goes down like water at this point."
Her friend shook his head and rolled up his sleeves. "So, how are you doing?"
"Fine."
Andre chewed slowly, thinking of course she's going to pretend to be unbothered. "Did you get your script yet?"
"Yeah, I practically sleep with it in my embrace," Jade muttered before ripping off a corner of the croissant. "Have you seen her yet?"
"No," Andre replied, raising an eyebrow at Jade. "Have you?"
"No. I haven't even talked to her since the hospital."
"Why not?"
Because I can't fucking handle this. "I don't know. She'll reach out if she wants to. I don't want to bother her."
Andre scoffed. "She wants to hear from you, trust me."
Jade's upper body stiffened. "She doesn't even know what she wants."
"I'm sure she wants the closest thing to normalcy as she can get."
"But she doesn't remember-"
"But we do. We remember. We all still know Tori and everything about her. If we don't make a big deal out of it and just bring her into the group seamlessly, I think she'll be normal and fit right back in with us comfortably in no time."
Jade huffed, still holding the piece of the croissant she ripped off with no intention of eating it. "Quite the optimist you are."
Andre shook his head after taking another bite of his sandwich. "What other choice do I have?"
She acted almost offended at his comment. "Take it for what it is, because it's shit. Complete and utter shit. Things like this don't have a happy ending Andre, she's going to be so scared and depressed and-"
"Okay, so text her," Andre interjected firmly.
Jade was stunned, her hands now clasped on top of the table in front of her. "Fine."
He smiled and continued to eat while watching Jade pull her phone out of her pocket. She froze at the notification that appeared on her screen.
hi Jade! my mom told me that you got the role in the play that I'll be the under study of. I probably can't this week, but do you want to come over maybe next week to talk about it?
Even after everything, Tori was still the first to approach Jade with an interest in spending time with her.
"God, I want to fucking puke ."
Andre scowled. "What?"
"Um, she asked me to… go over," Jade choked up at the end of her sentence, poorly hiding the emotion behind a shaking hand over her forehead.
"Jade, it's okay. I know it's hard-" Andre began, but Jade was already crying.
"You don't know how sick I am of crying, Andre."
He just knew that Jade had feelings for Tori. There is no other reasonable explanation for everything she has said and displayed since the accident. The 'you're incredible', the constant nausea, panic, her obvious sleep deprivation. He understood that she was also regretting several situations with Tori in the past, but it cannot be possible that she would be this upset over treating Tori in similar ways she had treated almost everyone else.
"I know, I know it's hard," he replied softly, questioning whether he should comfort her. She doesn't let anyone touch her, and he had an inclination that she would be especially sensitive to that in this moment.
She collected herself again, remembering they're in public and she cannot stand letting other people see her cry. "Fuck."
"So, what are you going to say?"
She shook her head and looked down to her phone again. "Yes, obviously. I've wanted to be there every day since the accident Andre, I can't stop thinking about-"
Her. You can't stop thinking about her because you're into her, he thought. There was a sustained eye contact, and Jade's words were cutoff at the suspiciously confident look in Andre's eyes and his smirk.
" ...I miss her."
He laughed. "How'd that feel to say out loud?"
"Shut UP, Andre!"
"Nah, I love this so much."
She scowled and hissed through her teeth, "What?"
"You're all soft… it's refreshing!"
"I will throw your sandwich at the nearest toddler if you don't shut your mouth."
"Alright, chill out now. Send your text," Andre brought Jade back down, followed by a huff and a shake of his head.
Of course, just let me know what day works. I have rehearsal MWF after school, but that's about it.
"I'm proud of you," Andre spoke softly after Jade set her phone down on the table.
Jade threw her head back. "Literally for what?"
"You have grown a lot. Tori was really glad to have talked to you about, you know... before the auditions."
Why the fuck would you bring that up right now, can you not see me having a breakdown? "Well, It's always good to know you're not alone."
Andre's smile fell slowly from his face. "Yeah. Um, we're not going to... Tell her, right?"
Jade violently shook her head, ripping off a new piece of her croissant. "No, no. No. No way."
He nodded slowly in agreement. "Okay, good… Fuck this, man."
Jade's phone buzzed again as her fingers immediately stumbled to unlock it and open the reply.
great! I can't wait, thanks so much.
She raised an eyebrow and sighed heavily while shoving her phone back into her pocket. "You're telling me."
The weekend dragged by as Tori waited for any word from her school about what she would do once going back. It wasn't until Monday in the late afternoon that Lane came over to talk. There was a rather catchy rhythm to the knock that prompted Tori's mom to meet him at the door.
Within seconds the man in the doorway was already crying. He hardly took three steps into the house, keeping his distance until he regained composure. Tori remained helpless, hurting at the uncertainty of how to make him feel better.
"I am so happy to see you, Tori."
She smiled in relief of his soothing voice. "Hi, it's nice to meet you, again."
His expression changed. It was clear that he was restraining himself from appearing confused as if it wasn't the cause of this unique situation. "Well, thank you. I think you'll get to know me again pretty quickly."
"Come in, come in!" Tori's mom waved her hand. "I'll make you some tea."
"Oh, thank you, Mrs. Vega."
Tori sat awkwardly on the couch opposite from where Lane sat down. He was stiff, visibly nervous which made Tori feel guilty. "How are you feeling?"
She scoffed, shaking her head. "I don't really know how to answer that."
"Any pain?"
"A constant, dull headache that I'm getting quite used to. Kind of like being exhausted all the time, which I am."
He nodded, clasping his hands together and fidgeting. "Well, you've proven once again to be stronger than a lion."
Tori tilted her head and smirked at the unique comment, curious as to what she had done at school to be compared to a lion of all things. "I guess so."
Lane sighed heavily and pulled out a notebook from his bag. "So, I'm going to tell you what the staff has come up with, and I know this will be a lot of information so if at any point you're confused just interrupt me."
The girl nodded, suddenly feeling tears well up in her eyes again. These people made a specialized plan just for you, they took the time out of their day to do this for you.
He handed her a piece of paper that showed the names and brief descriptions of all of the courses she had taken Sophomore and Junior year. She skimmed them over and felt an aching in her chest upon seeing all of the incredible things she had missed out on.
"So, after you look over that sheet, here is what we've come up with for you," he said softly, reaching a second paper to her. She took it while wiping a tear from her eye, Lane noticed.
His heart broke in half as Holly came back to the living room and placed a mug of tea on the coffee table. She sat down next to her daughter and wrapped her arm around her tightly and pulled her close. "It's okay, you've completed all of these. You have earned your credit. You're going to learn basically all of this again one way or another, it will just be different."
"She's right," Lane explained. "As we're an arts school, we're not concerned with your core classes like English, Social Studies, and Math this year-"
Tori chuckled in relief. "Fine by me."
Lane smiled. "This year, you were scheduled to take Songwriting III, Improv III, Advanced Tech Theatre, Intro to Music Production, and Functional Keyboard, which is just a piano lesson type class. You actually have already fulfilled your language credit, so you don't need an English or foreign language class. Social Studies, Math, and Science classes, however, would have been added into your regular schedule. We encourage you to pick a course from one of these subjects so you have some activity outside of the arts-"
Just as Lane was done explaining, Tori blurted, " Not, math. No thanks."
Holly laughed and released her hold of Tori. "You always liked Social Studies, right?"
Tori grimaced. "Eh, I mean I was good at it last I remember, but I think I'm gonna go with English."
"Okay, great! I'll see what I can do with that. Now, let me walk you through these first two classes, Songwriting III and Improv III. Songwriting III is a class that the teachers are willing to bring you in to right away. You have projects already completed in the last two years here that they would be more than happy to sit down and show you, and walk you through what that assignment asked for, and what you achieved in your writing-"
"I literally think I'm having a nightmare. Can we just stop for a minute? Sorry, I don't mean to interrupt-"
"You're okay, take a breather, no worries," Lane spoke softly. Tori stood from the couch after exchanging a look with her mom. She walked up near the piano and looked out the window, trying to process the fact that she had written several songs over two years for assignments. Real songs that other people remembered and would teach back to her. Who the fuck am I?
Tori remained near the window, but called back over to Lane after several deep breaths. "Okay, keep going."
He looked up at Holly, who shrugged in confusion. "Okay, sure. So, does that sound okay?"
"Yeah, yeah, totally. I definitely deserve to be in an advanced songwriting class with a bunch of really cool kids who actually remember their time at Hollywood Arts and remember everything they've ever learned," Tori scuffed her feet on the carpet, kicking them away from her. She knew her attitude was inappropriate, but her self confidence wasn't about to let her believe that she's talented enough to just start at these high expectations after what had happened.
Lane set his notes aside and sighed. "I see where you're coming from. Do you want to start at a lower level for these two classes?"
"No, because I don't want to graduate when I'm twenty."
"Okay, we don't want that either. We want you to learn everything again, and we don't want to overwhelm you and cram three years into one. Our biggest goal is to keep your original senior year schedule as close as possible to what we had before. These advanced classes will allow you to catch up to everyone else within a few weeks, especially because the teachers would always be there if you need them for extra help."
Tori took a few minutes to accept the suggestions the staff thought would best suit her. "Okay, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to get frustrated and cranky," she said while returning back to the living room.
"It's completely understandable, don't worry. The only other class that had a prerequisite is Advanced Tech Theatre and-"
"A pre… what?"
Lane remembered that Tori's vocabulary would be limited. "Oh, right. So this Advanced Tech Theatre class we have in mind for you, there was a first level class of it, just regular "Tech Theatre." You actually completed the original class in just a week last year. You had another class you wanted to take, that you couldn't take until passing Tech Theatre. I just let you take the exam for it, and somehow in a week you managed to learn everything and get a 100 on that exam. In a week, Tori."
Holly's arm wrapped tightly around the girl again, who started to feel a little better knowing she was apparently a student that could cram her way through anything. "That's crazy."
"It is! No one's ever gotten that high of a score on that exam."
"Oh, stop," Tori scoffed. "Seriously?"
"No one," Lane repeated. "So that's that, and the rest of your classes are just standalone, and there wouldn't be anything for you to necessarily catch up on. The last thing I will mention is a few of those vocal classes you've taken in the past. Our vocal teachers are willing to schedule lessons with you outside of school, if you were interested in learning different vocal techniques of different musical genres. Just reach out to them any time."
Holly squeezed Tori again, both arms wrapped around her this time. "See? It's all going to work out. But what we don't want is for you to feel overwhelmed or see that you're working too hard. And you do have a bad habit of working too hard, you know."
Tori laughed. "I know. I'll try not to."
"And please, don't be afraid to ask for help ever. We are all rooting for you. We can't wait to have you back at school."
The brunette nodded, thinking of any other questions she might have. Of course she's had dozens pop up in her mind the last few days, but with all of this new information swarming her mind, it was hopeless to try and remember.
"I'll leave this schedule with you, and do you have any questions or anything else you want to talk about?"
"Uh, I don't know. I don't think so."
Lane stood up with his bag around his shoulder. "Reach out any time, kiddo." He stretched his hand out and teared up at the contact of Tori's hands with his, almost making Tori tear up too.
"Thank you so much, Lane. I'll be in touch."
"Of course, take care, Tori." Silence filled the room again after the door was shut. Holly let Tori have a few minutes to herself to think; she would talk again when she was ready. Tori didn't want to talk, she wanted to cry. She wanted to go back to school immediately and just get started. She knew it wouldn't be good for her to put too much pressure on herself, but how can she not when she was finally placed in a school that would set her up for her dream career, just to forget the school entirely?
"I need a nap," was all she said before exiting the room.