Tuesday, December 5th 2:43 PM, 2011
Dude, I'm not into Beck! I'm not trying to steal him, and I'm definitely not trying to make you hate me even more.
You had absolutely no problem kissing him on like the third day of school, sooo.
It's called revenge, I'm sure you're quite familiar with it.
You can try all you want to change how I feel but it's not going to work.
Fine. The only one you're hurting is yourself, I hope you realize that sooner rather than later.
So that's why she hated me. Huh. What the hell does that last line even mean? If I was kissing Jade's boyfriend for revenge, what did she do to me? Do I want to know? That whole 'kissing someone else's partner' doesn't sound like me at all. Apparently I did become a different person at this school.
Tori locked her phone and opened it again, bringing the text thread back to present time. Jade had never responded to her previous text that invited her over.
Today 9:13 AM
what did you do to me that made me kiss your boyfriend?
Jade was sitting in her Screenwriting class when her phone buzzed. She couldn't help but to smile at the thought of Tori reading through old messages as much as she was. And apparently she had already gone back to the very beginning, almost.
I had quite a few problems back then. You didn't do much.
I still want to know. please? I won't be mad.
The blue eyed girl sighed, eyeing her teacher that was oblivious of her texting.
It was your first day of school. You bumped into him with your coffee and spilled it on him. You were rubbing his jacket off. I was jealous.
well if it makes you feel better, no offense, but he's not my type
he seems really nice though
He and I broke up almost a year ago.
Jade stared at the phone, but the typing bubbles from the other didn't come up on her screen. So, she anxiously began typing again.
And that's not all I did. I singled you out during your first improv class, made you play a dog so I could humiliate you, and I spilled my own coffee all over your head and clothes.
Tori thought she would find answers by the end of this conversation, but it turns out the amount of questions she had doubled in the last few minutes. How did they get from this first encounter to hand holding and such nice words?
okay, so you had some problems.
Yeah. You kissed him as part of an acting scene, kind of. It seemed pretty intentional, like you wanted to. But whatever, that was so long ago and I should have known better. You helped us stay together so many times when we were still dating.
oh okay. geez, i'm sorry for asking
No, don't be. It was bound to come up at some point.
yeah, i guess.
I'm sorry for everything else, too. You must've seen a lot if you made it that far back in your phone.
How does she know I've been going through my phone? Maybe she's doing it too, Tori wondered.
it's all becoming a blur anyway, honestly
I hope you can eventually trust that I'm really not like that anymore. I know I can't make you trust me, but I promise stuff like that won't happen anymore.
it's okay. I can already see how nice you are. I think I can handle forgiving you for something I don't even remember :)
Wish I could forget it, too, Jade thought. She typed out the message, but then deleted it after realizing its potentially offensive nature.
Thanks. I'm sorry you had to read all of that.
most of it's kind of funny, tbh.
What? Really?
yeah, like it just seems like we were fake hating each other
Oh no, I hated you.
oh uhh okay lol
why?
I hated everyone. Still hate most people.
haha okay…
well, when did you stop hating me?
Jade would type out an answer, something like 'when I got over my trust issues' or, 'when you helped me through this shitty situation' or 'we bonded over dissing those annoying boys at Nozu'. She would type anything but the truth: The day I realized I love you.
Therapy didn't even really feel like therapy to Tori, which was a good thing she thought. The woman asked a lot of questions about Tori's school before the accident, and what the plan was going forward. College was brought up, and pretty quickly deflected by Tori's mom. Of course that introduced another stressor for Tori, but it was probably fair game to at least mention it. She could always take a few classes online, after miraculously getting into a school once she miraculously graduated high school. Maybe.
Tori was asked to describe her symptoms since leaving the hospital. There was this recurring feeling, like she was outside of her body and watching everything happen to her, but could hardly feel it herself. That's when Dana, her therapist, discussed grounding techniques for dissociation that work for anxiety, too. Tori had heard some doctors mention dissociation at the hospital, but never truly understood what that meant until this appointment. She was asked about when she dissociates, for how long, what helps to get her out of it, if she knows what triggered the feeling in the first place, all questions she couldn't answer confidently.
There was a point during the session where Tori swore it was all a dream. This isn't happening, I'll wake up. Why do my hands feel so heavy? Why is my head spinning all of a sudden? Is she talking to me? Did I miss what she said? Dana often had to repeat a question twice during the session, but of course she was patient and understanding about it. Holly didn't speak while Dana was speaking with Tori, other than when college came up. She simply sat in the kitchen and pretended to be distracted, but of course she wasn't.
"Any relationships?"
Holly's mom called from the kitchen. "No, not anymore."
Tori threw her head back in frustration at her not-so-distracted mother. "No, my ex boyfriend and I broke up a long time ago. I remember things that happened months after we broke up."
Dana nodded and wrote in her notebook briefly. "Okay, and no other romantic connections or anything that has recently occurred, that you know of?"
"No, not that I've learned about-"
"I sure hope not, because if so I wasn't aware-"
"Mooom! Please stop," Tori groaned again, but laughing a bit this time as she knew her mom was likely picking on her a bit for some relief.
Dana grinned, too. "Okay, I only ask because that could be another thing we could talk about. Forgotten romantic relationships can be incredibly difficult to navigate post accident."
Tori began to roll her eyes, but refrained herself from doing so as she didn't want to offend Dana. "What isn't incredibly difficult?"
The blonde woman froze, wide eyes flickering over a deflated Tori slumping on the couch. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to phrase it like that. I just meant that's a little bit different from friendships, perhaps-"
"No, I'm sorry," Tori began, sitting back up and fixing her hair. "I'm sorry, I didn't need to say that."
"You're okay. Okay sooo…" she paused to read over her page. "You're set to go back to school on September 25th? Isn't that a Friday?"
Tori heard chair legs scruff across the floor as Holly stood up and walked into the room. "Yeah, we thought maybe she could go back for one day, have the weekend to digest everything and prepare for full time school again."
Dana nodded. "Okay, sure. Stick to your routine we talked about, it will help keep you relaxed during this large transition. Know your support systems like we talked about, too."
Tori appreciated the younger age of her assigned therapist. It was much easier to talk to her, and it helped that she had a calm tone and didn't allow for long moments of silence in the first meeting. The excessive writing always made Tori nervous from what she had seen in shows and movies. The 'spill your life story just to have someone write more than they're going to converse with you' stereotype of therapy sessions had scared her until this experience. It was hard to take all of this information and advice from a stranger, but Tori had always been one to willingly share vulnerable parts of herself with others fairly easily. She had to trust that now more than ever, as she didn't have any other choice.
"It was wonderful to meet you, Tori. I will see you next Wednesday, two days before the big day!"
Tori faked an excited smile before thanking Dana for coming in. Holly walked the younger woman to the door and shook her hand before she was gone.
"God, that was a lot," Tori exhaled, falling to the couch again.
Holly took a deep breath as she moved across the room to meet Tori on the couch. "You did just fine. Are you tired? You seemed very distracted, like you could hardly listen to her sometimes-"
"No, that's really me zoning out. Like, I just forget I'm actually awake and people are talking to me. I don't really know how to describe it."
Holly scowled as she sat beside Tori, quickly resting a hand on her daughter's arm. "I'm sorry. Maybe you should take a nap, you could use the mental break. Sleep might be the only way to achieve a true mental break."
Tori leaned into her mom, a motion asking for Holly's arms to be wrapped around her tightly. "You're right. Do you want me to wake dad up?"
"Ooh! Yeah, he needs to eat before he goes to work," Holly groaned at the end of her sentence as she squeezed her daughter tightly.
"Okay, wake me up whenever," Tori said softly before she dragged her feet to her room.
Holly sat at the kitchen table in her chair again in the place David would find her moments later, crying into the hands covering her face. His feet moved quickly until he reached her, gently pulled her hands up and pulled her in for a hug. "What's going on, what's wrong?"
Holly sniffed and rubbed her eyes once he pulled apart from her. "She's struggling so much, I can just see how tired and out of it she is, how hard this is… I can't even imagine what it feels like-"
"She's strong, you know that. She's going to be okay. She'll adjust to school in no time, maybe not in the same way she did two years ago, but with how busy that place is with constant shows and concerts, she will be busy and she will love it."
David was as emotional as Holly was when he was on duty. He spent a lot of time distracted from his work in his car. Several late nights were spent staring at streetlights, listening to the CDs Tori would sing with him in the car when she was little, all of the songs she'd make up her own dances to with Trina. He could not thank the universe enough for at least letting Tori keep her childhood, he was sure his heart would be permanently broken if it were any different.
"I hope so. I'm just so scared for her, Dave. I don't want to let her go back-"
"We have to. She will be okay. Her friends are going to have her back, no doubt about it. They'd do anything for her."
Holly scoffed. "I just hope they're not suffocating like they were before."
"Well, hopefully they have matured a bit in that aspect. But honey, once they're around a bit more, we need to let her have her space again with them. It's going to be really important that we don't suffocate her."
The truth hurt to hear, but Holly knew it was true. "I know. I know."
"We're going to get through this. I promise," he concluded before gently kissing his wife.
Today 11:21 AM
so I FINALLY convinced my mom, do you want to come over tomorrow after school?
Sure, no problem.
I'm so excited to see you again :)
Jade bit her thumbnail and couldn't hide a smirk from her face. Andre glanced down to Jade's phone to see that she was texting Tori. He smiled and kept his attention on Sikowitz, while the fair skinned girl noticeably started fidgeting.
I'm excited, too. How are you doing?
Tori was unsure how to answer that. Did she begin with the constant dissociation or the practically sleepless nights?
hanging in there. It'll help to see someone new in person.
Can I bring you anything?
just yourself! I'm sure my mom will make you something to eat if you need
Holly was always nice like that. Cabin fever yet?
omg, yes. I'm scared to go back to school but I'm honestly getting tired of being home. they don't even want me in the car or anything yet
Well, I kind of understand that.
me too, I just don't want my first time being in a car again to be the morning of my first day back to school. I want a little practice first, you know? to know that I can handle it and get a good start to my first day back.
I'm sure she'd let you do that. I think that's a good idea.
yeah, I'll have to ask. aren't you in class right now?
Yeah, it's just Sikowitz.
oh, that one teacher. he doesn't care that you text during his class?
He probably knows I'm texting you, therefore no, he hasn't said anything.
interesting. is he nice?
Uh, sure, yeah. He's nice. Sometimes he's a bit much, but he's my favorite teacher.
lol I guess I'll have to see for myself
And oh, what a sight you'll see.
well i'll let you get back to school, talk to you later!
No, no it's really okay! I'm here if you need to talk, or just want a distraction.
oh! I mean, idk what to talk about haha
A wave of warmth washed over Tori that she didn't understand. It was thrilling to know how much Jade wanted Tori to trust her and befriend her again. The friends she had before who Tori had fights with found it extremely easy to drop her. She had never known someone to supposedly fight with her before, but still wanted to come back and make things work at the end of the day.
Have you read the script at all?
I have, but it kind of hurts my eyes and head to read for too long. Such a heavy play, who else is in it?
Beck is in it
oh yikes, is that awkward at all or are you guys good?
Tori regretted asking that question as soon as she hit 'send'. She didn't want to be nosy, but she was rather paranoid about the whole history with Beck and kissing him and making Jade jealous while they were still dating. Tori recalled them seeming fine and friendly with each other at the hospital, though.
Nah, it's not awkward. He and I had plenty of time apart after we broke up where it's all good now and the weird feelings have passed.
oh good. I just, don't want to like be in the middle of something somehow. idk
Nah, it's not like that. Both of us are good, and you're good. It's all good, don't worry.
okay, good. So just us three out of the friend group?
Yeah, Beck is an incredible actor, too. You'll learn a lot from him quickly.
oh, cool!
Do you like it so far?
I mean yeah, it's a lot to take in at once. I keep reminding myself that I'm 17 and people like, talk about this more often than when I last remembered my life.
Shit, I didn't even think about that. Well, you know, are you okay with the topic?
of course! I just like…
I know I'm missing a ton of stuff that I'm sure I learned about LGBT stuff, you know?
You have no idea, Jade thought.
I could see how that would complicate things.
yeah, I know that my parents have been supportive all of my life
my mom's sister is gay, she lives in Colorado and is super like artsy and stuff. she makes me earrings and has her own little business for crafts and such
Jade's heart was beating hard out of her chest so hard she couldn't keep still. Just when she shifted in her chair, Sikowitz finally called her out.
"Okay, Jade. Would you like to share with the class what you're texting about?"
" No , I'm talking to Tori."
"Well obviously, that's why I'm asking! How is she doing?"
"She's okay-"
"Good, I know you miss her and care for her a lot, but can it please wait until after class?" It pained him to ask her to do this, but she had spent the last ten minutes ignoring the environment around her. He couldn't appear to favor Jade over the rest of the students in the class attentive and listening during his lecture.
She grabbed her bag off the floor and finally made eye contact with the teacher. "Honestly, no."
She was out of the room in seconds, and nobody spoke a word once she was gone. Andre's continuing suspicions grew stronger, but he backtracked once remembering how paranoid Jade has been about Tori hating her upon learning all the shitty things she has put the brunette through.
Jade was going to sit in the Blackbox instead, but she turned around in the hallway and glanced toward Tori's locker. A supercut of interactions by Tori's locker flooded her mind as she fought the urge to cry. Her feet hesitantly led her to the locker, deciding this was where she would sit on the floor for the rest of the period and continue to text Tori.
Jade skipped her lunch time coffee today, knowing she'd be wired enough by spending the afternoon with her friend. This was the first time Jade could be alone with her again, and it was incredibly difficult for her to accept that she couldn't bring up any conversations that occurred right before the accident. Beck had wished Jade luck in the hallway after school, sincerely hoping that she could have a good afternoon with Tori. He didn't doubt that she would be nothing but kind to the brunette, but feared Jade would run away from her once learning just how incredibly difficult it would be with her again.
That Lorde song came on again in Jade's car, the one from the same playlist she had on shuffle a few weekends ago on the camping weekend. A minute into the song, Jade slammed the button on her steering wheel to skip the song. She instantly regretted the action that inflicted a throbbing pain on her index finger.
She froze at the wheel once parking outside of the house, staring at the sidewalk she would soon be walking down. Breathe. It'll be fine once you go in. Jade locked her car and practiced the way she would say hello to Tori in her mind. The girl inside heard the distant car horn and felt her heart race as she fixed her hair. A knock on the door sounded, and Holly saw Tori practically trip over her own feet on her way to the door.
Bright green eyes gazed into Tori's behind her glasses, recognizing the deep brown shade that dim hospital lights didn't do justice. Eyes, skin, lips, eyes, the perfect lipstick color for this entire outfit, wow she's dark, eyes.
"Hey! Come in," Tori quickly interrupted her mind from spinning and her eyes from wandering.
Same, beautiful Tori who looks so much better than a week and a half ago. Jade felt her body relax at the consciousness of existing with Tori; it wasn't a dream, and she was still alive, and Jade was still a part of her life. I just want to hug her for an hour straight.
"You look... " was I about to say great? Jesus fuck, Jade. Get it together. "... like you feel a lot better since I last saw you."
Tori smiled warmly as she slowly sat on one couch. "I am. Still weird, but better."
Jade sat on the opposite couch, as usual. "So, where's your mom?"
"I'm right here!" Holly called walking in from upstairs. She was dressed as if she was going for a run, but Jade knew there was no way in hell she'd actually leave them truly alone. "I'm just going to do some yoga outside, okay?"
Yes, please. I'd like some time alone with Jade. "Sure mom, no worries," Tori offered simply with a shrug.
"Okay, Jade you're in charge!"
" Oh," her voice boomed before she scoffed. "That's something I thought I'd never hear from you. "
"Don't get used to it," Holly muttered before closing the back door.
Tori turned back to her friend and raised an eyebrow. "Um, is that… you know, normal? The sass between you two?"
"I used to be mean, remember?" Jade smirked, looking down to her fidgeting hands again.
The brunette studied Jade in a way that seemed familiar, with undeniable curiousness, yet slight hesitation. "Okay, you need to own up to some more stories or something. I still can't believe you're the mean person you keep saying you w-"
"Oh come on, haven't you read through like all of our texts by now?"
Tori blushed. "Well yeah, I know you were mean but what about all the recent stuff?"
Jade stared blankly back at Tori. For a moment, she was lost in the deep brown eyes that were still recognizable, but more timid than they used to be. The brunette was scared to hold eye contact with Jade for too long, she noticed. "What about it?"
She stammered, "Well I- um, it's just, you seem like, I don't know, like we were friends again like, all of the really mean stuff-"
"You mean when I would brutally make fun of your outfits or threaten to torture you if you didn't give me what I wanted?"
Tori laughed, holding her hands up in surrender. "Yes, that. That was a while ago, wasn't it?"
"Well, yeah-"
"Do you WANT me to continue to believe you're a mean person?"
Jade's eyes widened in panic. "No, I don't!"
"Then relax. I've already got you figured out."
What the fuck does that mean? "What?"
Tori already looked more at ease than she had just a few minutes ago. Almost as confident as her old self. "Oh come on, if we were really enemies why would I still be nice to you after all that time even though you said some nasty stuff?"
"Because you're Tori, I- I don't know! I still haven't figured that one out yet myself," Jade sighed, exasperated. "I never understood, actually."
"Sounds like you were in denial and didn't want to admit we were friends." Tori noticed Jade's mood shift, like something heavy was on her shoulders that she couldn't shake off. Suddenly guilty, the brunette continued with a bright smile.
"That's probably true," Jade murmured, knowing damn well that's exactly what happened.
"All I know is clearly I had some reason to keep being nice to you, so I'm just going to keep doing that! It makes most sense, right?"
What would make sense is if you just forgot about me. "I guess. I mean, I still, um. I do want to be your-" Jade's head suddenly snapped to the side like the last word she mumbled under her breath was a knife to the throat.
Tori scoffed. "What was that?"
"I want to, you know… be your…"
"Friend?"
"Well-"
"Buddy?"
"Tori, don't-" Jade already couldn't help but laugh.
"Business partner?"
"Yes. Business partner. That's a good way to put it."
"I want to be your friend too, Jade," Tori's voice spoke softly but sincerely.
I have never wanted to be hugged by this bitch more than I do right now ever in my life. "Okay, good."
Tori smiled and stood from the couch."Okay, can I get you anything to drink or?"
"No, no, please sit and relax, I'll get something."
Brown eyes followed Jade's figure until she was no longer in Tori's field of view. She's gorgeous. Like, stupid gorgeous. Tori couldn't help herself from turning around and continuing to watch.
Jade's skirt was just long enough to keep everything covered, but the brunette snuck a glance at the other's ass as Jade leaned over the counter to grab a glass from the top shelf of the cupboard. Jade had a style that Tori knew would never suit herself, but something about her friend's whole look made her wish she could pull off an outfit like that. While the black sheer tights were also a plus, Tori's eyes remained focused on the size of Jade's ass that was accentuated by the curve of her spine as she leaned over. If she looked a second longer, Jade would have caught Tori in the act of admiring her figure once she turned around and returned to her spot on the couch.
"You talk to anyone else recently?" Jade asked before taking a sip of water. She set a second glass down on the table in front of Tori.
"Oh, thank you," the brunette reached for the glass. "Andre, a little. I feel bad, I'm not really texting anyone first because I don't know what to say, but I don't want anyone to feel like I'm ignoring them."
Jade scowled. "Beck and Robbie?"
"They've texted me like once, asking how I'm doing," Tori shrugged.
"I'll kill them," the other muttered under her breath.
"No! It's okay. I wouldn't know how to handle this either."
"So it's only been me blowing up your phone?"
Tori laughed. "Oh no, Cat sends me stuff all the time."
"Let me guess, pictures of animals?" Jade set her glass down on the table and crossed her legs.
"Yup! Honestly, it's nice."
"Yeah. Yikes, sorry I almost forgot what we're actually supposed to be doing," Jade reached in her bag for her script. And now Tori's eyes focused on a second place of Jade's body, this time a front view as Jade leaned down.
Stop staring, you're so rude. Tori shivered off the thought and waited for what Jade would have to say first about the play.
"Okay. We're like, an incredibly important role in this. Rebecca is the one who arranges the— wait, have you read it all the way through yet?"
Tori's shoulders slouched. "No, not yet."
"Oh, no worries that's okay! So, she's the head of the theatre department at the university that Matthew went to, and I think that's just why I was… why we were both so excited to audition for her. She's kind of the big symbol of "hope" and "change" and she hopes for the community to learn to support each other, stuff like that. Oh, we also have two other parts as well-"
"Huh? I thought we were just one person?"
"Well, there's so many roles in the play. So, to reduce cast size they're having like, 'Role 1, Role 2' and so on but each of us playing a few different characters in the play. Don't worry, it's evenly spread out. Plus, we have the best part."
Tori tried to remain calm until she learned more. "Well, who else do we play?"
"Reggie, the officer. She's fun, too. We get to explain when we find his body and um, all of the blood-"
"Oh God, honestly I'm glad you're doing that and I don't have to," Tori squirmed and scrunched her nose.
Jade pouted her lip. "But you have to practice with me!"
"No, no, I will, I know," Tori backtracked, brushing her hands down her arms. "I just don't like that kind of stuff, it makes me sad and squeamish."
"It always has," Jade said simply. "I don't mind it, personally."
Tori raised one eyebrow. "Interesting, but makes sense."
"Yes, stereotype me harder ," Jade teased, moving over on the couch to get closer to Tori. "Just wait until you hear about my scissors," she hummed with pride.
Tori gulped. "Um… scissors?"
"You know, The Scissoring ," Jade smirked, amusing herself more than anything else. Once she glanced back up to Tori, she noticed her friend was blushed and wide eyed. After realizing what horrible mistake she made, Jade stammered as she remembered Tori wouldn't have even remembered when the movie came out a year and a half ago.
"No! It's a horror movie! You dirty little freak," Jade laughed, mostly to make sure she kept the mood light as Tori was clearly embarrassed.
"Well what did you expect me to think? That there's an actual movie that's not… you know … did they really have to title it The Scissoring?" Tori sighed exasperatedly.
Jade was amused at the way Tori was trying to justify her mind being absolutely in the gutter. "I mean, yes, they did. She scissors a lot of people-"
"Oh my God," Tori burst out laughing.
"Sorry, I had to. But anyway, we don't have to do that part today. Oh, let's look at that one part with Rebecca… we practiced this together for our audition. I know you don't remember, but here let me see…"
Jade didn't mind revealing her rather nerdy and passionate side to Tori anymore, seeing as she didn't have any reputation for being tough, at least not yet. "Okay, it says page 490 at the top," blue eyes glanced up at Tori's, catching her in her stare for the first time this afternoon. There was a sustained moment of eye contact while Tori very obviously tried to play it off like she wasn't watching her friend. Jade's eyes lingered over the panicked brunette's face in disbelief; she brushed her tongue along her bottom lip while Tori frantically flipped through her pages.
"Okay, so this big paragraph here?"
"Yup," Jade sighed, frustrated yet again with her hopeful thoughts. "So this is the first larger look into her character, and she introduces another main character in the story who is really important in the end. Jedadiah, this kid, isn't even gay but his parents are so unaccepting when he joins a play, of course, about LGBT acceptance. He does what he wants with his life anyway moving forward and it's all good in the end, but anyway, that's what this part is here."
Tori was taken aback by how casually Jade was explaining this situation and reminded herself that she's older than she last remembers. This isn't an awkward middle school subject anymore. "Okay, so…"
Jade laughed softly, telling herself in her mind to slow down. "So in the first part, she's basically saying that when the reporters showed up and wanted to speak with her, she was feeling a bit negatively about it, 'why are you doing this to me,' before she realizes it's not personal and that this major story needs to be shared and told in order to teach other communities. She's all about her students being able to share their thoughts and how they feel honestly, like talk with discourse is better than no talk and allowing people to stick to their own learned ways that might not be the best for them."
God, passionate and beautiful? Why am I even worth being the understudy for her? "Right."
"So this is a tricky part, kind of," Jade continued her rambling, knowing that she would never explain the character in this much detail to Tori before. Jade had always refused to allow others to see this side of her. She worked independently, did her best work alone, studied the hardest alone, was most comfortable in her own brain when it came to creativity. It was horrifying to let Tori in on this, but Jade knew that her friend needed it.
"She's so damaged and hurt by this certain opinion that existed in a community that literally got someone killed, but she still has the courage to support openly talking about issues like this to everyone , regardless of background or upbringing. So, how do you act out 'damaged and sick of this shit, but we need to be brave and change this' you know?"
Tori was beginning to follow along better now. She had read Act I, and although there were a lot of different characters, she got the general gist of the play and how something like this really does affect an entire community, and nobody likes to learn that someone was brutally murdered. "I mean, I don't know anything about acting. But to me, I see her as one of those professors that will literally lie awake at night worrying about her students. Like she is exhausted physically, emotionally, spiritually… and unless she's actually speaking of her students, she would just sound… tired, you know? Dull and detached."
"Well, what do you know? Tori Vega doing some solid character analysis," Jade remarked, leaning back a bit and smiling.
The brunette wished she understood why it felt so damn good to have Jade say her full name. "What, do I not do that normally?" She asked with concern.
"I don't know. We've never really worked together like this, other than right before the audition" Jade put simply.
Tori scowled. "What a weird time to start, huh?"
Jade kept smiling at everything Tori said, and it didn't go unnoticed. She figured that all of her friends might be a little overjoyed and weird at first due to their excitement of getting to spend time with her again. But when Jade looked at the other, all Tori could think about is the way she said 'you're incredible.'
"Yeah, but better late than never! Do you want to read a little bit? I can read for Rebecca and you can do the Kaufman line before?"
Tori was nervous about being judged for how she did this, but reminded herself that there is no possible way for her to recall any information about acting whatsoever. Jade wouldn't make fun of her, she needed to trust that.
"Um, yeah sure," the brunette straightened her posture. "Do you want me to start from 489?"
"Yeah," Jade shifted her position as well, bringing her eyes to the page until Tori began speaking.
"The company has agreed that we should go to Laramie for a week and interview people. Am a bit afraid about taking ten people in a trip of this nature. Must make some safety rules. No one works alone. Everyone carries cell phones…"
Finally, Jade could have a minute to gaze at her friend without her noticing. She would admire the definition of Tori's cheekbones, and exhale with admiration as her friend pushed her glasses back up the bridge of her nose. Jade would allow herself to be in love with the girl sitting right in front of her, who would never know a thing with her eyes buried in her script.
" ...and has promised to introduce us to possible interviewees."
Before Jade could begin, Tori's eyes found the bright blue pair she was fascinated with and scowled. "Was that okay?"
The other laughed softly, "You're just reading, don't worry. You did fine."
Brown eyes closed as Tori sighed, reacting to the dull headache growing behind her eyes.
"I must tell you that when I first heard that you were thinking of coming here, when you first called me, I wanted to say, You've just kicked me in the stomach. Why are you doing this to me?"
Jade paused, recognizing those words in a way that resonated with her. They described how she felt when Andre had called her to tell her that Tori was in an accident. Why are you doing this to me?
She had trouble shaking the thought off, but Tori noticed that something was off. She looked up at Jade who seemed to be stuck looking down at her page. After realizing she was being watched, she continued after a deep breath.
"But then I thought, That's stupid, you're not doing this to me. And, more important, I thought about it and decided that we've had so much negative closure on this whole thing..."
Finally, Tori could have a minute to gaze at her friend without her noticing. She would admire the precision of Jade's makeup, and exhale with relief at the continued sound of Jade's voice, which was very different from her normal speaking voice, but no more or less relaxing than either tone. This one was just different, clean, innocent, sweet. Tori would allow herself to be continually perplexed at the beauty of the girl, even with Jade sitting right in front of her, who would never know a thing with her eyes buried in her script.