A/N: hey, there's some NSFW content ahead but don't get TOO excited! :)
"Hey! We should have a sleepover tonight, just us girls!"
Cat offered the idea when she and Jade visited Tori by her locker at the end of the school day. Jade was not thrilled at this suggestion, but she restrained from reacting angrily as she normally would. That would give Tori the wrong idea.
Jade wasn't quite sure how to read Tori's face, she didn't seem disinterested, but there appeared to be some sort of catch. "Um, I mean. I would have to ask my mom. She might be okay with it."
Jade clenched onto her bag. "Cat, maybe Tori should just have some time alone tonight to relax-"
"No, no! I'd be okay not being alone with my thoughts. I've had enough alone time for a year in the last two weeks," Tori laughed as she pulled more books from her locker. She closed it as Jade attempted to spur up another excuse to get out of this anxiety-inducing, yet incredibly tempting situation. The two friends flinched as Tori turned off the lights on her locker.
"What are you doing?!" Cat shrieked.
Tori jumped at her spontaneous outburst. "What?"
"You never turn the lights off on your locker," Jade explained, matching Cat's level of concern.
Cat's hands grabbed Tori's shoulders as she shook her back and forth. " Keep the shine going, Tori!"
Jade's hand smacked against her forehead as Tori stared back into the most intense pair of brown eyes she'd ever seen. "Okay, okay. I'll turn it back on," she mumbled, turning around to press the red button. Cat let out an audible sigh of relief at the illuminated locker door.
"Alright, I've had enough 'weird' for today. I gotta get out of here," Tori held her hands up in the air in surrender as she looked to Jade again.
"We'll walk you out," she offered her elbow out to Tori, who hesitantly linked arms with the other.
It was nice having Jade's arm to hold onto as they walked out of the school. Cat sang nonsense syllables and skipped ahead, and Jade stayed silent as she appreciated the glow of the sun on her skin. Much to Holly's surprise, Tori was letting Jade hold her like that as they approached her car. Jade let go to let Tori approach her mom with open arms, and watched as Holly squeezed her tight. She wondered what it felt like to be genuinely warm with a parent, what it was like to receive affection from a mother.
"Bye Tori!" Cat called with a saddened voice. "You're amazing!"
"Bye Cat, you too," Tori laughed and looked at Jade one last time. She took a deep breath in, trying to find proper words of appreciation until Jade spoke up.
"Let us know about tonight. We'd be over in a heartbeat," Jade's voice spoke softly. "See you, Tori."
The feeling the brunette experienced was closely comparable to being flustered, but in a platonic way, she thought. God, I already can't wait to see her again.
Tori sunk into the passenger seat and her mom flooded her with questions. Taking a deep breath, she started with the answer to the first question.
"I'm fine, everything is good. I feel happy."
"Oh good," Holly sighed with relief. "And your classmates?"
"A few people said hi and introduced themselves, but mostly everyone was out of my way. It actually was pretty normal, like I didn't feel overwhelmed with socializing. It was weird to have people staring, though. But I'd rather deal with that than a million introductions in one day."
"That's fair. Homework? Assignments? Anything you need help with?"
"Not really."
Holly rolled her eyes. "You've been back one day and you're already going to be vague with me?"
"Can Cat and Jade sleepover tonight?" Tori knew the answer would likely be no, but she had confidence in her convincing skills.
"Already?"
"Cat said we need to have a girl's night so we can all become close again."
"Do you want to do that?"
Tori laughed. "Of course! Cat's really sweet and Jade helped me a lot today."
"That's new," Holly mumbled. Tori groaned in frustration at the third person today saying something negative about Jade. "But good, I'm glad she's turning around."
"Sooo… that's a yes?"
"Fine. But you better be quiet and not keep me and your dad up all night."
Tori frowned, she hadn't remembered that her mom's not going to leave them alone for a night should something bad happen. "Oh. Well, we'll do our best."
"No, you will not keep me up if you want a sleepover to happen again-"
"Okay, okay! We'll be quiet. Thank you, mom. It means a lot. They're so nice and exciting to be around, I don't know why. It just makes me happy knowing how much they care."
Holly was still confused about how Jade could have this effect on her, but it was better than the opposite, so she didn't fight it. "And a happy Tori makes me happy. Do you want anything special for dinner tonight sweetie?"
Tori already had her phone out to text Cat and Jade, and the excitement must have stopped her ears from working. Holly turned quickly to see the smile on Tori's face as her thumbs typed a message out. Normally, she would be mad, but how could she be in a moment like this?
"I went sky diving today! I didn't even have a parachute, I just grew wings and flew right over our neighborhood and landed safely on our driveway."
No reaction.
"Damn, Tori."
"What?" She turned to her mom after locking her phone again. After the thought, she realized her mom was in fact talking, but didn't remember a word she said. "Oh, sorry."
Her car was on the driveway.
She never appeared with a warning. Never arrived with an invitation to dinner or a special night together to catch up after multiple week-long trips across the world. Jade parked on the right side of the parked car, knowing her mom would be back out of town any minute, probably.
Don't be vulnerable. Don't break.
There was an almost fully smoked cigarette in the landscape just outside the front door, which was unfortunately typical. Jade picked it up and brought it inside to wrap in a paper towel and put it in a bag before throwing away.
Tell her how you actually feel, be honest.
The mother's eyes followed the indifferent daughter. "You're gonna walk right by while I'm standing right here? Come give me a hug!"
Jade finally turned to look the woman in the eyes. She looked exhausted, sloppy almost, which was unlike her. "Don't leave cigarettes in the yard, the cats get into them."
"I told you to stop feeding those street cats," her voice was sharp as she placed a hand on the counter. They didn't hug. "What's your mood?"
Don't cry. Don't be weak.
Jade took a deep breath before speaking. "Do you even know what happened to my friend?"
Dani scowled. "No, what?"
Jade rolled her eyes and groaned. "This is exactly why I can't-" she stopped herself before saying something she would regret. She knew her mom still struggled with the divorce and had trouble staying close to her daughter knowing she couldn't protect her forever. It wasn't until recently that Jade had begun holding different expectations for her, and that Jade's father had consistently convinced Dani that Jade didn't need parents to smother her. Turns out, she ended up feeling neglected, especially when her mom got her new job and began traveling across seas.
"You didn't even see the news? Hollywood Arts Teen Survives Fatal Car Crash'?"
"I didn't. Who was it?"
"Tori," Jade's voice cracked as the name tumbled from her lips. "I didn't even talk to dad about it, he wouldn't be any help. He is so fucking cold and wouldn't react to something I was upset over, he never has. I was hoping you might have at least heard-"
"I'm really sorry, Jade. I had so many events to schedule and deadlines and no downtime practically-"
"Yeah, your downtime is the bar and the parties, but that's part of your job' too. You don't need to remind me," Jade's voice was dripping with sarcasm.
"If I had known I would've tried to come home sooner."
"You can return calls, you know. I understand missing calls, but you could try calling me back sometimes?"
"Jade, I'm so, so sorry," Dani took a minute to let the two of them take a breath. Jade stood shaking while holding back tears. The anger across her face was obvious, but no matter how angry or upset she'd be, there's always an excuse from her mom.
"I didn't even know I was coming back today until this morning. I thought you were going to be with your dad this weekend, so I didn't reach out. Why are you here?"
Jade turned away from her mom's blank stare. "I'm just grabbing some clothes for a sleepover tonight. I didn't want to see him as long as I had an excuse to not be home tonight, so I just came here instead."
She couldn't stand looking at her mother. It was like looking in a mirror. It was like watching herself ask, "You're leaving me again?"
"If you want to spend time with me, mom, please give me a warning before you show up. I'm sorry, but I've got plans tonight," Jade confirmed with a hushed tone before brushing by her mom in an attempt to leave the conversation.
"Wait, how's your friend?" Dani always wished Tori would pull Jade in a new direction, and she definitely did slowly over time. Just maybe not in the way a mother would expect.
She watched as Jade turned around, bouncing a bit on her feet with nervous energy. "She's better now. But… she's forgotten the last few years of her life."
"Oh my God, what a young age to experience such a thing… not that it's ever good you know, but fuck," the mother reached out to hold Jade's arm. "How's this on you?"
"Awful," Jade admitted. "But, you know, the good news is I can prove I'm a different person to her than before… I'm not being mean like I first was."
Dani scowled. "What do you mean? You were mean to her?"
"Of course I was," Jade laughed and licked her lips. "Kissing my boyfriend was a ballsy move for her. I was pissed."
"Ahh, guess I forgot about that. Well is she still going to school?"
"Yup. Just came back today. She was out for two weeks."
Her mom had let go of the other's arm. "I'm glad you're spending time with her tonight, then. She'll be okay, she has lots of support, I'm sure. Could have been a lot worse of an outcome-"
"Don't even go there," Jade snapped. Her posture faltered, her hands coming up to her face to poorly hide herself crying.
Finally, Dani wrapped her arms around her daughter and held her tight, the tightest she had in a long time. "It's okay. I'm here."
"For how long?" Jade asked between sniffling, feeling incredibly awkward at how warm this moment was, and how unexpectedly okay she was with it.
"Two weeks. You can catch me up on everything and I will give you my undivided attention, I promise."
Jade groaned and let go of her mom. "You've made promises before-"
"I promise," she repeated, taking Jade's hands into her own. Dani felt like shit at the realization that it took Jade having a close friend getting into an accident to make her remember how fragile life is, how someone's life could be gone in a flash, how Jade was suffering and felt alone. Jade had been painfully independent, and Dani got used to that. It felt natural, given how busy she was with her work, and how Jade spent every minute with Beck when they were dating.
I should have kept you close all this time, they both thought.
Cat arrived first with giant grocery bags. "Can you help me?"
"Uhh, yeah which one is lighter?"
"This one," Cat held out a hand holding a bag containing chips, popcorn, and candy. Tori walked briskly to the kitchen and marveled at all of the goodies Cat had brought, completely forgetting the grunting girl that followed. She clumsily managed to throw the heavy bag on top of the table and let out a large aggravated groan.
Tori smiled at her innocently. "Heavy?"
"Yes!"
"What's so heavy, what do you have?"
Cat scowled and pulled out box after box of cake mix, container after container of frosting, cup after cup of sprinkles. Tori was overwhelmed and had to stop her Mary Poppins-looking friend with a never-ending grocery bag. "Cat, Cat, Cat, why so much stuff?!"
The redhead giggled and twirled in her short dress. "Cupcakes!"
Tori wished that was a sufficient answer to why she had this many materials. "I see that, but why so many boxes and things?"
"Because we have been friends for 105 weeks!"
"I'm really not catching on here," Tori interrupted, losing her patience, mostly because she had no clue how she was supposed to respond to Cat's spontaneous antics.
Cat couldn't stop her giggly excitement. "Okay, I was going to wait until Jade gets here, but-"
Just then, the door opened without a doorbell sound or knocking. Speaking of the alleged devil, Jade struts in with another cute and grungy outfit. She tossed her bag onto the couch and smirked in that way that made Tori incredibly nervous. "I see Betty Crocker has arrived."
Cat struck a pose as she squealed, grinning at Tori whose confusion continued.
"Yeah, I'm going to ask again why so much?"
Jade gasped. "You haven't told her?"
"No, I was going to wait for you!" Cat's eyes glimmered as she twirled the ends of her hair with her fingers.
"Still confused," Tori whispered, raising her hand up in the air. Jade smiled and looked to the floor, knowing what kind of scene Cat was about to make with this.
"I have made you eat 105 of my cupcakes the whole time we have been friends. Every week I make a batch and give them to all my friends at school, so everyone gets one cupcake from me every week." Cat explained rather calmly, then her energy shifted unexpectedly again. "But I don't want you to miss out on how good they all were so we're going to make you 105 more cupcakes tonight!" The excitement in her voice made Tori laugh by default, and regret that she would probably crush Cat's heart with her response.
"Cat, that's so sweet, I could cry-" Tori's voice stopped as Cat slammed into her with another hug. Jade locked eyes with the brunette as Tori's head looked in her direction over Cat's shoulder. The dark-haired girl gave a slight nod, encouraging the necessary yet uncomfortable comment that was needed at this moment. Tori broke the hug carefully and held Cat's shoulders with her hands. "But we can't possibly make that many in one night. Even if we did, I can't eat 105 cupcakes by myself before they all spoil."
She watched the happiness melt off the redhead's face and instantly regretted it. "Well shoot! What do we do?!"
Jade stepped in to assist in the letdown of plans. "We make a batch tonight, and one more batch next weekend, and another batch the next weekend, and another batch the ne-"
"That would still be a looot of cupcakes for me to eat," Tori mumbled, wondering what she had gotten herself into. So far, it seemed people were extremely careful around Cat and her emotions. Tori didn't want to be hurting them already.
"Well, how many are in a batch?" Jade spoke softly, her hand pressing against Cat's back, encouraging her to go read the back of the box.
After a few seconds of silence, Cat spoke softly. "Twenty-four."
Jade eyed Tori, who was growing more and more hesitant. "Well, if we do half a batch a week, it'll only take us a few weeks?"
"What if we did mini cupcakes instead, Cat? You love fun-sized food!" Jade spoke up, Tori glanced back at her, feeling her heart glow in her chest at Jade's mutual desire to come up with a solution that didn't reject Cat's intention.
"Those will be so cute!"
"Won't we have like, way too many boxes left over though for that?" Tori remained on her toes, asking Jade more than Cat.
Light blue eyes found Cat's. "You can keep those for the next weeks to come. She's still going to make a batch of regular cupcakes every week for her friends at school, right Cat?"
"Yeah, so it's all good again!" Cat twirled around in her dress and Tori was staring at the length again. Her friend's legs were so smooth, toned, sunkissed… stop, you creep.
David emerged from the stairwell and greeted Jade and Cat. "Nice to have you girls around again. Oh God, what's all this?"
"We're making mini cupcakes and we are going to keep the kitchen spotless," Tori took responsibility cautiously. "Any chance we have any of those itty bitty baking cups?"
"Actually, we do!" He moved quickly toward the cabinet near the stove. Jade raised her eyebrows at the man who excitedly found a large container of them.
Tori raised her eyebrows. "Um. Why so many?"
"You know, for chocolate covered fruit at parties. Your mom's always making stuff like that."
Jade noticed Tori's smile disappear from her face. A simple thing, a few events that have happened recently, that she doesn't remember. And it still hurt her this much.
"Oh, must be a new thing for her," Tori mumbled to herself, turning back to the baking supplies. "Alright, are we gonna do this now, or should we feast for dinner first?"
"Dinner," Jade blurted in. "I'm not making cupcakes while hangry."
"Fair point. What are we having?" Cat asked.
"Oh, I've had pizza staying warm in the oven, it came early before you guys got here."
Tori retrieved the pizza, and Jade couldn't stop herself from staring at her ass while she was bending over. She smiled to herself and turned away once her friend turned to place it on the counter. Jade didn't need to be asked to grab plates, she just did it. Before she even thought to ask, Tori noticed the other reaching for them, and returned the favor of ass staring. Not as much of a favor as it was a blessing, though.
An awkward silence fell over the room once the girls were seated with pizza on the couch. Cat sat next to Jade on one couch, Tori alone on the other. She wished she could be next to Jade, but she didn't want to be seen as clingy.
"Alright, Tori. Dad and I are going right across the street for some dinner-"
"And wine," David added with a smile as he grabbed his keys off the table.
Tori turned around and smiled. "You're trusting these two with me? Alone?"
Holly glared at her husband. "Yes, and I'm definitely going to enjoy myself and not worry at all while we're gone," she winced, conveying pure sarcasm and dread.
He laughed and wrapped his arm around his daughter. "You have our number. We'll be back later."
Jade watched as Tori's smile grew bigger with each step her parents took closer to the door.
"I'll be okay. Go have fun!"
Holly still looked worried and upset, but shot a smile to Tori before leaving. "You too. See you later."
The door closed, and Cat jumped out of her chair. "YAY! Let's paaartaaayyy!"
"Cat," Jade huffed. "They'll hear you through the door!"
"Please don't ruin the house!" David called back from the other side of the door, definitely having heard the outburst.
"Or my daughter!" Holly shouted after him, panic ringing clear in her voice. Cat's eyes grew wide as she plopped onto her seat again. The two friends looked at Tori worriedly.
"She'll be fine," Tori waved her hand dismissively. "Sooo, what should we do? We could play truth or-"
"No," Jade hissed. She flashed back to the weekend in the woods, the truth or dare game they played on their hike. Not again. "Please no-"
"Jade really hates that game," Cat whispered.
Tori looked down. "I see that." A sudden thought popped in her brain then. "You guys sing, too, right?" Tori was excited to see both, but especially excited at the idea of Jade putting on a show. "You should do some karaoke!"
"Oh my God, yes! I'd do that!"
"I mean, sure."
Cat had already jumped up to reach for her laptop in her bag.
"I wish we could go to Karaoke Dokie, but we can go there some other time," the redhead sighed as she pulled up YouTube. A devious smile appeared on her face in a few seconds. "Jade, can we do the one?"
The fair-skinned girl smirked and fixed her posture. "Well of course, babygirl," she purred in response as she stood from the couch.
Tori's mouth went dry at Jade's words spoken in a husky tone that she hadn't heard yet. Or maybe her mind was just still in the gutter.
"Okay, okay, here we go," Cat's words quickly spilled out of her mouth in excitement. Tori felt awkward just sitting and watching, but at the same time didn't care because she was about to be stunned at the first few words Jade sings.
Brown eyes instantly found Jade's hips as they swayed a bit before she began singing, as Jade held a water bottle imitating a microphone. Cat was holding one too, almost like this was a normal occurrence to practice this way. It made sense for their experience with performing, Tori assumed.
"Someday I'll let you in, treat you right, drive you out of your mind…"
Her tone, her power, her face, her body, all were attacking Tori simultaneously, and she definitely was not prepared for something like this. Then Cat's voice came in, equally strong but a much different tone to it. It had a similar effect on the brunette, making her cross her legs and fix her posture as she reminded herself to breathe. She couldn't help the fact that her mouth was hanging open, and Cat giggled once her eyes met Tori's and noticed her surprised face.
Tori wished Jade was making eye contact with her like Cat was, but the blue-eyed girl's attention was entirely on her partner. Soon, they were interacting more directly with each other, leaning in close toward each other and teasing one another with undeniably flirty glances, body language, hands reaching toward each other. Why is this making me feel… dirty?
It was hard for Tori to make out all the words being sung, as she was heavily distracted by several other things at the moment, but something about "whip you into shape" made another rush of warmth cover her from head to toe. Their hips were moving together, and they were incredibly close, like they wanted to be. Tori felt like this was a moment she perhaps shouldn't be ruining by just watching, but she certainly wasn't going to look away.
"That's a game that we'll play at the end of the night, it's the same old story but you never get it right, give it up.."
I want to be in Cat's shoes. I want Jade to look at me like that. I want to look at Jade like that. I want to be that close to her, I want to feel her eyes on me, I want to feel connected with her like that… hell, I'd want to be in Jade's shoes too.
Tori of course couldn't pinpoint the correct cause of her extreme feelings, so she brushed it off as a 'Wow, I've seen celebrities perform like this but my two friends in my apartment casually performing like this just out of the blue? This is so cool and unexpected' type of thing. She'd seen plenty of sexually charged performances before, and a good handful of those were between women. She can't help it if something is just… sexy, right? Anyone would have this same reaction. The thought alone was startling to Tori, considering what she had been through recently and how little she remembers of what probably would have been an extremely important period of growth and development in this department. She figured everything must be feeling so much more intense now because it's like the first time all over again; she never really got to this point with Danny, but she figured it probably happened after him with someone. She just wouldn't remember who.
A strong riff from Cat brought Tori back to reality, and Jade and Cat faced Tori suddenly in time with the music at the clear start of a new section in the song.
"Come a little closer, come a little closer baby, baby…"
They clearly had a full-blown planned out choreography for this, but left room to improvise and be suggestive toward each other, but the way that Jade looked like she could devour Cat… Tori suddenly understood a bit more to the "dark" side to Jade that so many people had mentioned or implied in conversation. They're both so fucking hot.
There was a moment where their voices slid upward together in their singing, and Tori felt her upper body involuntarily shift upward as she had to shift her leg position yet again.
Wait, if this is just a performance in your living room, imagine what they'd look like in a more performance friendly outfit, on stage, lots of colorful and flashing lights, oh my God…
By the last chorus, Cat was borderline grinding her ass into Jade, who was running a finger down her back slowly and soon smacked Cat's ass, hard. The redhead squealed and turned back around to face Jade with a devious smile. Their faces were close together again, and by this point, Tori was panicking trying to figure out a way to react afterward that wasn't utterly obvious of her arousal.
It ended with another moment of their voices sliding upward together, longer and more drawn out. The two girls finally ripped their water bottle microphones away from their faces as their singing ceased. Tori watched as the two broke apart breathless and giggly. It was clear they had really gotten into the moment, like nothing else in the world was happening or mattered at all at that moment. Tori wished she would someday be able to perform like that, like nothing else was on her mind.
"Jade, that really hurt-" Cat whined, still giggling.
"Want me to kiss it better?"
Tori's mouth fell open again. She was speechless and didn't realize these two were so… comfortable with each other in that way.
"No!" The redhead squealed.
"Aww," Jade frowned, and smirked at the other. She finally turned to Tori, pleased to see a very surprised yet satisfied expression on her friend's face.
Tori awkwardly slow-clapped once both girls were finally coming down from their moment and looked toward her. "I'm speechless, truly. I-I don't even know how to explain what I'm feeling-"
Jade loved that specific word choice, feeling . She crossed her arms and tried to hide her smirk while glancing at her feet.
Cat squealed and jumped toward Tori. "You gotta do one now!"
Jade would have interjected, but something in her was incredibly curious as to how Tori would sound singing at this point. Of course, she wasn't going to pry. But when Tori resembled a deer in headlights, Jade gave a soft and encouraging smile.
How could Tori say no when Jade is glancing at her with such warmth and excitement in her eyes? "Ummm… okay. I don't um, usually do stuff like this-"
"Do you sing in the shower?" Cat asked innocently. Jade twinged, worrying this would cause a problem or push Tori away.
Tori's lips pulled down into a frown as she shrugged. "I mean, yeah."
"Tori, I'm not going to make you, but I think Cat, and I would both be so happy to hear your voice again. We don't care if it's like how you 'used' to sound or anything, we just want to hear… you, " Jade explained while her hands fumbled over themselves.
How can someone like Jade go from incredibly sexy one moment to sweet and sensitive the next? It was hypnotizing, and of course, Tori would agree and quietly search for song ideas on the laptop next.
Jade waited in anticipation and took note of Tori's chest rising and falling rapidly. Her face was slightly flushed, too. She had hardly looked in Jade's direction after the song was finished. Maybe we scared her off with our playing around...
"Um… I guess I'll do this one," Tori said as she clicked on the video. A familiar and bittersweet guitar track began, and Jade's heart instantly sank to the floor. Not this song, you emotional sadist.
Tori had been sitting on the couch, but suddenly looked up at Jade with panic. "Should I be like, standing or-"
"Whatever you want," Jade replied softly. Tori stood up slowly, thinking of where else she could be in the room that might ease her nerves. She decided the piano bench would be a good spot, so she could look out the window if she got in her head about it. Cat watched fondly as Tori made her way back, carrying the laptop with her as she walked. Jade's foot began tapping rapidly against the floor.
"When I was younger I saw my daddy cry and curse at the wind…"
Her voice was so shy, but not a fraction less beautiful. Just incredibly different, which was probably mostly nerves. Anyone could see from a mile away that Tori had natural talent, like she had always just been able to sing beautifully. Jade hadn't realized until now that another huge part of a singer's development is just becoming comfortable in their craft.
Cat glanced at Jade with her big puppy-dog eyes, and Jade could tell she was going to cry. Jade would have too, but instead, she moved over next to the redhead on the couch and brushed her arm comfortingly. Tori continued to keep her eyes off of her friends, and as she sang the chorus she herself began to feel emotional. She could feel that the mood in the room had completely flipped upside down. Once she finished the first chorus, she finally looked up to the two girls who were looking at her like she was the most precious person in their lives. It was overwhelming how often and how intensely Jade and Cat demonstrated a love for Tori, and they couldn't stand to be anywhere but her side. Cat motioned Tori to come to the couch as she scooched over to make a spot for the brunette. Tori took the hint and began singing again as she walked.
"Maybe I know, somewhere, Deep in my soul, that love never lasts…"
Jade was resisting the urge to sing along, as this has been one of her favorite songs since the 9th grade, but she wouldn't dare interrupt Tori's comforting voice against her eardrums. She felt like she was glowing once Tori was sitting right next to her. Cat leaned her head on Tori's shoulder, but Jade couldn't bring herself to make any physical contact.
"And I've always lived like this, keeping a comfortable distance…"
Cat breathed in the familiar scent of Tori's hair and sighed with relief. Just being there with her and quietly listening to her sing after what must have been such a horrifying few weeks for her made tears stream down Cat's face. Jade closed her eyes and pictured how Tori would carry herself singing this song a few weeks ago. Paramore had never crossed Jade's mind as a band that would be compatible with Tori's voice, but damn she wished it had. Especially a softer song like this one. Jade had a passing thought of wishing this was recorded so she could listen to it before going to sleep every night, causing her to slightly shake her head to push it away. That's way too fucking gay, gross.
Cat's voice joined in with Tori's on the second chorus, "You are the only exception, you are the only exception…" The harmony threw Tori off, but it helped to lock eyes with Cat to understand how to keep carrying the melody. Now Tori herself was feeling emotional; Jade and Cat very clearly approved of her singing, and with how amazing they both are, Tori was beginning to feel a little confidence.
Once the bridge began, Cat jumped up from the couch. "Tori! Ahhhhh!" She crashed into the brunette with a hug, and Tori finally felt a tear fall from her eye as she laughed. She hugged Cat tightly, thankful that she was so full of love and praise and how truly comforting it was.
Jade stood second and held Tori's arm lightly once their eyes met. "I hope you know how beautiful your voice is."
What the fuck. Why do I deserve this? Tears kept falling from Tori's eyes as she laughed. She wasn't sure what was more overwhelming, the love her friends had for her, or the fact that she was discovering such an integral part of herself that had significantly shaped all of the time in her life she had forgotten.
Soon, the girls were all scream-singing the bridge to the iconic Paramore song, dramatically making cheesy gestures toward each other. Tori was surprised at her own projection while singing. She thought back to an oddly specific memory of sitting in the chair at the orthodontist while they were tightening her braces, and this song was playing. It was an uncomfortable moment, for some reason every single song played at the orthodontist while people rip your teeth apart seemed unpleasant. It was funny now, because she never would have imagined it providing such a fulfilling moment in her life at this point.
"Did you remember to put the eggs in this time?" Jad raised a brow at Cat who was holding the mixing pot.
"Yes, I'll never forget again," she laughed as she attached the bowl of the mixer. Jade saw out of the corner of her eyes that the mixer was full almost to the top with the ingredients. Before she could manage to say anything, Cat's hand was on the speed lever. It was unknown if she didn't realize how powerful a mixer could get on the highest setting, or if her hand innocently slipped and pushed the lever to full speed, but all three girls would suffer the consequence. There was brown batter everywhere, and Jade was the one who fumbled underneath the counter to unplug the mixer and stop the flying mess of cupcake batter from painting the entire kitchen in brown.
Tori had squeezed her eyes shut as it had splattered in her face, but once all was silent again, she wiped her eyes with her hands and opened them cautiously.
Jade and Cat were worse off than she was, sticky batter staining their hair and clothes. "Don't freak out-" Tori began.
"I'm freaking out! I'm so sorry, I don't know how that happened, I… I-"
"Cat, why did you have so much batter in the bowl?" Jade's voice strained.
She threw her hands in the air. "You said four boxes!"
"I said four cups!"
Cat looked as though she was going to burst out sobbing when Tori began laughing the first authentic laugh Jade had heard from her since the accident. The other two were stunned, expecting Tori to be upset, angry, resentful. "Guys, let's just clean it up. Don't worry about it."
Tori reached for the drawer full of dish towels and began running some under hot water at the sink. She took the first towel to wipe off her batter-coated face, rinsed the towel again, and soaked the other two. Jade and Cat bickered while whispering, but Tori just wanted this to remain a fun night. Stuff like this was bound to happen, Lord knows she's caused her own share of kitchen disasters.
"Seriously, just drop it. We'll clean up the kitchen, and you can use the shower. Let's just do it quickly in case they randomly pop back in," Tori spoke in a calm tone as she handed a towel to Cat.
As she walked over to Jade, she watched as the dark-haired girl licked the batter clean off her middle finger, similar to the way those women on TV over sensualize a chocolate advertisement. Tori's breath hitched as Jade's piercing eyes met her own, her finger still sliding out of her mouth.
Jade's lips turned into a sly smile. "Sorry, it just tastes reeeally good."
Tori quickly handed her the towel and turned away again quickly. Why are you so fucking disgusting, Tori? Not everything is sexual all of the time. Jesus, you really are basically mentally stuck in middle school, huh?
"I'm so sorry, Tori," Cat whimpered, creeping up by her side.
"You wanted to do something nice for me, and accidents happen. Nothing to be sorry about, I promise," Tori whispered, wrapping her arm around Cat. "Go clean the counter off, Jade and I will wipe off the cabinets."
"Kay kay," she sighed and did as she was told.
Jade was going to shower in the same shower that Tori uses? Cue panic. "Holly will rip us apart if she finds any trace of chocolate, Cat."
"No she won't," Tori sighed, looking to Jade with a scowl. "She's too worried about me to pay attention to detail like that anyway."
Whoops. Now I feel like an asshole, Jade thought. She quietly wiped off the cabinets and felt Tori's glance from across the room. Is she looking at me again?
She hid it a bit better this time, Tori's face turned just as Jade began to move in a different direction. It still wasn't enough to fool Jade, though.
The three girls managed to clean up the mess in under ten minutes, then Tori allowed Cat to take her shower first so she could wash her overwhelming guilt away. Tori also thought it would be a good idea, so she could have a moment alone with Jade.
"I should have almost expected this to happen, shouldn't I have?"
Jade smiled warmly as she wrung out her towel in the sink. "I feel mean saying yes, but yes."
Tori laughed softly and leaned her lower back against the counter next to Jade. "It's okay. I feel worse for her than anything else. D amn she's good at tugging at your heartstrings."
"Oh, I only know," Jade replied softly before walking to the kitchen table to grab the tray that Tori had placed mini baking cups on before the batter explosion. She brought the tray next to the mixer and took a glance into the bowl, moving a spoon around throughout to mix it carefully.
"Can you grab me a spoon?" Jade asked. Tori nodded, smiling at the fact that Jade was still determined to complete this task that was important to Cat. She watched as Jade filled each baking cup with batter, precision and care in every movement she made. Tori wanted to talk but didn't know what to say. Jade wanted Tori to help her, but didn't want to be even more suggestive than she had been so far the entire night. It was in Jade's nature to be a bit mischievous and suggestive for humor, but she was unsure yet if Tori was comfortable or not with it.
"So um… do you really mean what you said? About my voice?"
Jade sighed as her heart began racing. She was beginning to get used to the way her heart beats like a hammer at most of the things Tori said. "Of course. Sorry Cat and I got all emotional, it probably felt really weird."
"No," Tori shook her head. "It was really nice. You both make me feel really special. I didn't know this feeling existed, I had never experienced it before."
Jade was probably blushing, she felt the warmth flood to her cheeks and tried to hide any indication by tilting her head down so her long hair would cover any evidence. "Well, I'm glad you are now."
Things were quiet again. By the time Jade had filled all the baking cups and put them in the oven, Cat was showered and changed and came back into the kitchen.
"Why don't you go shower? I can wait."
Tori raised her eyebrow at Jade, instantly nervous at why she was stalling when clearly Jade's hair was worse off than her own at the moment. "No, go ahead, really."
Jade held a stare with Tori for a moment. She needed to talk to Cat so her anxiety didn't cause her to explode, so she did a quick look over to Cat, back to Tori, giving the brunette a hint.
"No really, I can help Cat with the cupcakes we're making for you, go ahead," Jade laughed softly, turning away from Tori to end the conversation.
The second Tori was up the stairs and Jade heard the bathroom door close, she threw her hands in the air at Cat. "She thinks we're freaks!"
"No, she doesn't," Cat said softly. "Why do you say that?"
"I don't know, I just feel it. I feel bad, like I did something wrong, like I shouldn't have you know, messed around with you a bit when we were singing and-"
"Wait, this isn't about the booty smacking is it?" Cat began smiling, knowing herself that even that was a step beyond Jade's usual limits.
Jade stammered. "I-I mean, kinda! What if she like… got the wrong idea? She keeps looking at us like…"
Cat took a minute to realize what Jade was implying. " Oh, I get it. So, does she think that we're like, together?"
"No, probably not," Jade sighed, suddenly realizing if anything, Tori probably already knows Jade's very obvious feelings toward her. Feelings she wasn't ready to tell Cat about yet, but fuck it was so hard not to blow her cover right now.
"What do you mean? You just said that-"
"Just forget it. Let's just... not do stuff like that anymore," Jade said sternly, placing her palm on the counter and leaning into it.
Cat moved over to her friend. "But it's fun, Jade. We've always done that. Do you really think she'd be so bothered by a playful booty smack? She kissed your boyfriend on her first day at Hollywood Arts, I don't think she's as much of a 'goody two shoes' as you once thought she is."
She has a point, Jade thought. "I just don't want to like, be too weird or over-friendly or overstep any boundaries. I don't want to lose her. I can't."
"I get it," Cat whispered, brushing her hand up and down Jade's arm. "She really likes us. If we get to be too much for her, she'll tell us. But don't take it personally, she's going through a lot right now that we don't understand."
Jade nodded slowly and rested her head on the top of Cat's as she leaned into her. "Come one, we still need to frost the cupcakes."
Tori was exhausted by the end of the night. Endless stories, tons of Youtube and phone videos of performances at Hollywood Arts, Tori mostly listened, didn't have a lot to say. It wasn't getting old listening to all of these stories, yet. She longed for the day she could feel like she had returned to a state of things happening and being reflected on in real time. But then again, that would probably mean some drama and or conflict. She just wanted something to be different, to make a memory right now, just one time make a new memory.
Maybe that starts tonight; this entire night would definitely be a great memory.
Jade was fine sleeping on the edge of the bed. It meant Cat was in the middle, and Tori was as far away from her as possible. Jade would rather sleep on the floor than this arrangement, but this was all part of Cat's "plan" of becoming best friends again. All she could think about was how if Cat knew how Jade felt about Tori, she probably wouldn't have insisted on this arrangement.
The biggest problem at the moment, however, was how Cat had been talking in her sleep for almost fifteen minutes now. Jade's eyes had been glued to the ceiling fan while Cat went on and on about a babysitting schedule. None of the ramblings made sense, and Jade couldn't care less about whatever she was going on about, she needed to sleep.
Finally deciding she couldn't take this anymore, she carefully got out of bed without disturbing her friends and tiptoed out of Tori's room. It was an alienating feeling seeing the Vega house with all of the lights off. She felt like an intruder, creeping past her parent's bedroom with her heart in her throat, terrified she'd wake them up and they would accuse her of doing something wrong. Jade had been known to steal items from Tori's room in the past, and she didn't need to get on their bad side now, she just finally got to their good side.
Without any conflict, she finally rested on a couch in the living room and stared at this new ceiling fan. Sure, she could fall asleep much easier now, but the voices in her head were just as, if not, louder than Cat's sleep talking.
You are the only exception
You are the only exception
Jade hadn't even realized she was humming when she heard footsteps approaching from the stairwell. She clenched a pillow to her chest and squeezed her eyes shut, petrified it would be Holly or David coming to yell at her and kick her out.
"What are you doing?" A voice whispered. To Jade's relief, it was Tori's. She lifted her head to look at Tori over the back of the couch.
"Ugh, thank God it's just you. You didn't hear Cat talking in her sleep?"
Tori scowled and folded her arms. "No, why? Was she?"
"She wouldn't stop rambling about her babysitting schedule."
"Ah, I see," Tori yawned and stretched her arms above her head. She wore pajama shorts, short pajama shorts, and a T-shirt that revealed her toned stomach when she stretched. This wasn't a sight Jade was ready to see in such dim lighting. She turned her shoulder away from Tori as the brunette sat down on the other couch.
"You're just gonna sleep out here, alone?" Tori asked with a saddened tone.
"I gotta fall asleep somehow. It's really okay, don't worry."
Another pair of footsteps sounded from the stairwell. They were slow, soft, not urgent like an angry parent's footsteps would be.
"We need to… reschedule… I can't that day… I already told you!..."
Jade's head fell to her palm in frustration. Jade knew Cat was already prone to sleep talking, but sleepwalking too?
"Well this isn't horrifying," Tori grimaced. She watched Jade stand from the couch and carefully walk over to Cat, who was about to come down the last few steps. She gently took Cat's arm and guided her down, attempting to converse with her.
"Okay, how about tomorrow at six?" Jade smirked, looking over to Tori who was holding a hand over her mouth to suppress laughter.
Cat suddenly smiled. "Okay!... Schedule… Where's my schedule…"
"Smith twins, Saturday at six. All done!"
The redhead sighed a long sigh, dramatic and downright hilarious. She didn't have anything else to say as Jade brought her close to the couch.
"Aren't you tired? It's almost time for bed," Jade asked softly, rubbing Cat's arm a bit.
This was the weirdest thing Tori had ever seen at a sleepover, which is saying something considering who her best friends were in middle school, but she was undoubtedly fascinated at Jade's handling of the situation.
"Oh, you're right… golly…" Cat sighed, finally yawning and awkwardly falling to the couch as Jade guided her.
"Nighty night."
"Nighty night," Cat echoed as Jade placed a soft blanket over her. She turned back to Tori with a smile. "Hopefully this lasts."
"I feel bad just leaving her down here though-"
"Shhh. She'll find her way back if she wakes up. Let's go," Jade tilted her head toward the stairs and made her way over.
While Jade had been nervous all night about what ideas Tori had developed of her so far, Tori was horrified wondering if Jade had picked up on all of her awkwardness and knew what it meant. She wished she knew what she looked like during the karaoke performance, she couldn't get that breathy sound she made at Jade licking batter off her fingers. Jade seemed especially quiet after Tori had showered, and she was afraid it meant something bad. But now, Jade just invited her to sleep in her bed… with her? Not with her but… next to her. Fuck.
On opposite sides of the bed, the two girls awkwardly made eye contact before moving. Jade swore Tori had already been staring for a while as she combed through her hair with her fingers. Jade finally caved, lifting the comforter to climb in and get situated. Tori didn't move.
"Are you an under-the-sheets or just a comforter kind of gal?" Jade looked to Tori with a smirk.
The brunette gulped. "Um. I don't care. Usually just the comforter."
"Sheets are a waste of time," Jade agreed, immediately turning to her side away from Tori. God, she must hate me or be scared or uncomfortable with me or something. She can't even get in the same bed as me.
Finally, the comforter rustled as Tori slowly slid underneath. Do friends say goodnight to each other? God why am I so obsessed with her, I hardly even know her.
"Hey, Jade?"
"Hmmm?"
Tori knew was going to regret this question as soon as it came out of her mouth. "Are you mad at me?"
Jade turned to face Tori's direction, preparing herself for the sight she was about to see: Tori laying down next to her in bed. She was dreading it, but mostly she had been dreaming about this for over a year. "Absolutely not, why do you think that?"
Tori could tell Jade had turned toward her, so she had to do the same. Jade's eyes were always hypnotizing, but this low lighting somehow made them look even brighter. Her soft wavy hair framed her stunning face, Tori couldn't help but admire this view. "I dunno, you just seemed quiet after the kitchen thing."
She couldn't read the expression on Jade's face after that, but she slightly shook her head. "I thought you were mad at me."
The brunette giggled and buried her face in her pillow, it was cute enough to make Jade want to throw up. "No, why did you think that?"
Jade rolled her eyes and bit her lip. "I don't know… The whole thing with Cat and I singing together, I thought I scared you off."
"Oh no, definitely not," Tori exhaled. "It was funny, it didn't bother me at all though."
"Okay, good. That's why I was quiet, I thought I crossed a line and made you uncomfortable."
Hell, I wanted to be Cat at that moment. "Nope, don't worry."
"Alright. Goodnight, Tori." Upon second thought, Jade wished she hadn't said 'goodnight,' but at least hearing it back would relieve her tension.
Instant shivers down her spine while Jade turned to the other side of the bed. "Goodnight, Jade."
Why does this keep happening? Why does she make me so nervous? She's incredible.