Authors Note:
Chapter 3 is up. Thanks for your reviews :) They keep me going..

Alori: Thanks :) I always thought getting Jack in the future would be a tricky thing to do.. but I'll see where this ship'll end. :) My writing sure needs polishing.. so if anyone volunteers to be my proof reader..

Nicole: Witty? Cool:D thanks!

Chapter 3: Taking a shower

Jack hit my boyfriend? What? I mean.. huh? Squatting down beside Jasper I gently press my fingers at the swelling around his eye. It looks red, and puffy.. and well.. it'll make a fantastic black eye in a few couple of hours.. But at least it doesn't seem as if anything is broken. Thank goodness for that.

"How did this happen? You two got in a fight or something?"
"Yes! That.. that.. blundering buffoon wouldn't sit still while I cleaned his shoulder! So I had to hold him down a little, lest he hurt himself even worse. And all of a sudden he turns around and hits me in the face!"

Jack spins around, clutching his shoulder and scowls at Jasper.
"You were trying to kill me!" His face red and flushed with rage he looks at me again.
"That boy is a menace, he put something on my shoulder that would've killed me! It hurts like hell! It almost burned a hole in me shoulder!"
Frowning I look around

"I did not try to kill you! I was simply trying to clean that mess up, if I let it go on like this it might get infected.. and THEN you would probably die!" Jasper yells in frustration.
"Aww c'mon mate.. you were trying to kill me.. admit it.. you're jealous! You're afraid Lona won't be able to resist me, with my natural charms, and who's to blame her? But that isn't a reason to go and kill an innocent man"

Oh boy.. men and their ego.. I hand Jasper a washcloth, drenched in cold water.
"Hold that to your eye, it should stop the swelling. What did you use to clean his shoulder with?"
Jasper points to a rag lying at the floor, soaked in alcohol. Yeah.. that would've stung alright.
I pick up the rag, looking forward to what I'm planning to do. I quickly give Jasper a little peck on his good cheek.
"Why don't you go downstairs, check on the oven and such? Jack and I will be down in a minute.. ok?"

He glances over at Jack, who raises an eyebrow in a suggestive manner.
"Are you sure? I mean.. I don't trust him.." I give him a devious smile, urging him out of the bathroom.
"Oh.. I'm sure.. and don't come upstairs.. no matter what you hear.. ok?"
Jasper frowns, until he finally gets what I'm saying. A mean looking grin appears on his face as he walks out the door.
"Yeah.. no problem.. enjoy" when he closes the door, I can hear him laughing out loud. Hm.. I never thought he could be this sadistic.

I turn to Jack, who is grinning boyish.
"So luv.. couldn't wait to be alone with me, could ya?"
"Take off your shirt Jack"
For a moment he's dumbstruck, but then he's grinning as he unbuttons his shirt, supposedly in a seductive manner.
"And now what?" he asks, a lopsided smile on his face.
"Your pants, don't worry, I'll turn around"
I turn my face away, feeling Jack's stare on the back of my head.

"My pants? You're serious? But.. your boyfriend.. Lass.. I was only joking when I said.."
"Yes I know Jack.. just.. do it alright?"
I can hear him fumble with his pants, and a terrible smell spreads through the room.
"There's a towel hanging on that rack there, please cover yourself before I turn around ok? I'll give you ten seconds"

When I turn around Jack is standing naked, except for a towel that he's holding protectively in front of his.. thing. He's frowning and looking a bit concerned.
"Ok.. this has gone far enough.. what are you doing?"
"I'm not doing anything.. but you are going to take a shower.. and clean yourself up a little.. when is the last time you've taken a bath?"

I can see a wave of relief washing over his face.
"Bath luv? Must be 2 weeks ago, in the waters of Tortuga.. what's this shower thing you're babbling about?"
Mockingly I raise an eyebrow.
"Tortuga? No wonder you smell this bad"

Hm.. this isn't going to work.. I can't just let him take a shower naked.. not when I'm supposed to keep an eye on him..

"Wait here for sec will ya?" Jack shrugs and turns around, looking for things to keep himself entertained.
"And don't touch anything!"
I quickly grab a swimming boxer out of Jasper's drawer, when I suddenly hear a terrifying roar coming out of the bathroom.
When I burst in the room I see Jack, who's looking wide eyed at the hair dryer..
"Be careful lass.. that pistol just went off when I pushed it.. there's no telling what it might do further"

Right.. pistol.. a hair blower.. I toss him the boxers and turn off the dryer, putting it back on the sink.
"Put it on Jack"
This really is a hilarious sight.. Captain Jack Sparrow.. standing in a modern day bathroom, wearing a bright red boxer..
Keeping back a giggle I open the door of the cabin and usher him in. Jack looks suspiciously at me.
"What's this?"
With an evil grin I turn on the warm water faucet, relishing Jack's surprised scream of terror.

"What devil designed this!" Jack hollers over the rush of water.
"Oh shut up, you big baby. Serves you right, hitting Japs! Here.. turn around, so I can wash your back"
Jack glares at me and regards the bottle with shower gel with suspicion
"Blast woman.. what's that? Poison?"
I force Jack to turn around.
"It's soap, now stand still already!" Quickly I wash his back, careful to avoid his painful shoulder. Dirty water is cascading down his back. The sponge I'm using to scrub his back with, looks black with filth.
"This is disgusting, you're a walking biohazard! It would be a natural disaster if you would fall into the ocean.. instant pollution!" I mutter as I rinse the sponge for the fourth time.

After fifteen minutes of intensive scrubbing Jack's backside (except for his buttocks of course) looks clean.
"Turn around again Jack"
He turns around, looking not very happy.
"What's that smell? It smells like bloody flowers" he sniffs again "It's me! You're making me smell like a.. like a.. eunuch!"
Rolling my eyes I start washing his chest and stomach
"Stop your bawling, if I don't get you cleaned up your arm might infect seriously, just as Jasper told you before. And besides.. you smelled like a dump!"
"I thought it was a manly smell" Jacks huffs.
"Manly.. that's a great name for it.. no woman would dare walking around reeking like that!" I retort.

"So.. what brings you here actually? Except for the closet?" I ask, looking in his eyes.
"Kind of a long story luv"
"Well.. you'll be in here for a while.. so start telling"
He looks away, chewing his lower lip in thought
"Well.. you remember Barbossa? And the Aztec gold? It seems that Barbossa has a daughter.. feisty little creature. Somehow that girl has got the crazy idea that I'm to blame for her daddy's death. But I managed to talk her out of that.. at least for a little while"

-blink- Barbossa.. a daughter? That would mean he.. and… ohh gross.. wrong thoughts Lona.. very wrong thoughts.

"And she's the one who shot you?"
"No.. that would be her brother"
Double gross.. he has more children..
"Takes after his father it would seem"
Jack coughs, while trying to look the other way
I stop washing his upper leg and look at him
"Jack.. what did you do?"
Jack quickly mutters a sentence under his breath "….slept…girl… stole.. map…"

"Correct me if I'm wrong.. but you slept with this girl.. Barbossa's daughter.. which I find a very, very sick thing to do.. you stole a treasure map from her father.. who is dead.. which isn't a very nice thing to do.. she found out you only used her to steal that map.. and now her brother is trying to reinstall her honour by having you killed.. great job Jack. Who's her brother.. someone I know?"

"Nah.. you wouldn't know him.. he's the new Commodore.. Norrington has been promoted to Governor"
A bit roughly I scrub Jack's face, getting soap in his mouth
"Of all the stupid things I've heard.. and why are you here?"
I push his head under the showerhead, washing off the soap.
"I thought I could, you know, hide myself in here for a while, until they've forgotten about me"
"Jack.. this isn't your time.. I mean.. you didn't even know what a hair dryer was.. You just don't fit in!"
"I could learn?"

Shaking my head I inspect his shoulder again, most of the dirt has been washed away..
"Ok.. this is going to hurt a little.. try not to scream too loud.. we've got neighbours here.. And yeah.. you could learn.. but it isn't right. –sigh- I reckon we don't have any choice do we? I don't want you killed.. we'll figure out a solution.. If you promise not to wallop my boyfriend anymore!"

Very gently I wash the wound, using a cloth and warm water. Jack grits his teeth.
"I promise luv.. thanks for the help. I appreciate it"
Yeah right.. I know I'll regret this before the day is over
"Don't mention it"

"Ok.. well.. if you could wash your.. lower regions yourself.. I'd be much obliged"
I hand him the scrunchy sponge with some shower gel. Jack takes it and wiggles his eyebrows at me
"Sure you don't wanna help with that, lass?"
Folding my arms I stare down at his crotch for a few seconds, then I look back at his face
"I'm sure Jack, wouldn't want to embarrass you now would I?"
His face flushes as I step out of the cabin, drying my arms and hands.

After a while I hear him pulling the short on again.
"Ready, now how do I turn this damn thing off?"
Oh boy.. I really am going to regret this..

Now we're standing in Jasper's bedroom, Jack is wearing trousers and socks from Japs. He looks a little bit silly, as the clothes are too big for him. Ghehe.. my big, broad, muscled, long, boyfriend.. ahem.. sorry again..

Holding a clean towel drenched with alcohol I warn Jack.
"Please hold still.. This is the same stuff Jasper used, and it really is necessary.. but it is going to hurt"
"I'm Captain Jack Sparrow luv.."
"Yeah I know.. I heard you screaming when I was in the kitchen this morning"

Finally Jack is all cleaned up.

There.. chapter 3 finished.. bit dull.. but that'll be fixed in the next chapter I hope..