A lot of babbling in this chapter.. BTW.. could someone please tell me what Mary Sue means? I haven't been accused of it yet, but I've read it in several reviews to other stories.. I wanna know!

Chapter 4: Gossip

Jasper is sitting at the kitchen table when I come down the stairs. He's eating some warm bread with butter –A/N I can't find the right translation... herbal butter? Rings a bell? It's butter with herbs in it.. Garlic mostly- and his eye looks dreadful.

Oh my gosh.. what did I get myself into? Jack in this century.. that's bound to go wrong.. no really.. he's going to get us all killed.. or at least seriously hurt.

I rush over to Jasper, hugging him and giving him a kiss. He responds by smiling at me and rubbing the back of his hand against my cheek.. isn't he cute? Then he sees Jack.. wearing his clothes.. he stands up and walks towards Jack.
"Well.. at least you don't smell like a pig anymore" he says, flashing a quick smile "Hope you two had fun taking that shower"

He said what? Almost choking on my piece of bread I try to catch a breath.

Slowly a grin appears on Jacks face, flashing a few gold teeth.
"Aye lad.. the lady did have some fun.. "
Aiegh.. great.. now Jasper's going to think I'm a pervert..
Jasper chuckles softly.
"Yeah.. she has a mean streak sometimes.. but I think you've dealt with that before"

Hey.. hello? Still standing here? Hearing everything you two are saying about me?

Casually, Jack sits down on a chair, grabbing a chunk of bread and taking a bite. He laughs.
"Yeah.. did she tell you she once left me in the brig? Or that other time, when she burned all me rum? After almost raping me?"
"I did NOT rape you!"
"No luv.. that's what I said.. almost"
"Did not!"
"And, once.. she threw a shoe at my head"
"You deserved it! "

The two men are ignoring me completely and continue talking about all the "mean" things I ever did.
"A shoe? She never did that to me..." Ha! See? I'm a rather nice girl..
"..she only threw a bag of sweets at my face a while ago.. too bad she never joined the baseball team.. she has a strong pitching arm"
"Did you ever see her drunk mate? That's a sight you'll never forget"
"Ow yeah.. been there, done that.. was pretty funny actually, she kept trying all the buttons in the car.. asking What does this button do?"

Ok.. this has gone far enough.
"STOP!"
Jasper grins at me.
"What? I thought you wanted us to get along? We now found something we have in common"
Jack smirks
"Yeah.. you"
I growl.. really.. growling.. like.. Rarrrr... only much more ferocious like.. and less like a cute little kitten
"Stop it.. we've got some things to take care of.. first of all.. getting that -points at Jack- into some proper clothes"

Jasper nods, and after a hasty breakfast I get the car keys. Jack swaggers behind us, following us outside.
"Well.. where do ye keep the horses mate?"
"Wrong century Jack.. we don't use horses anymore.. well.. most people don't.. we are travelling in that" I point at my cute little Citroën AX.
Scratching his chin Jack asks
"And what.. exactly.. is thát?"
"A car"

Jasper suddenly starts laughing out loud
"You can't call that a car.. it's a cookie bin on wheels!"
Oh! That mean.. mean.. mean.. him! Grrr. I smack him on the shoulder and unlock the door for Jack.
He isn't getting in.. why isn't he getting in? Frowning I motion for him to get in the car.
"Wha? In there? But how is it going to move? Without horses? And is it save? How does it work?"
"GET IN THE FLIPPIN' CAR ALREADY"

Yeah.. my patience is slowly coming to an end.. that's the sort of thing Jack does to me..
Jasper is laughing so hard, tears are streaming down his face.. great just.. great
"What are you laughing at, blue eyes?" I snap at him.
He stops laughing.. wipes away the tears, looks at me.. and starts the laughing thing all over again.

Men..

Finally Jack gets his piraty ass inside the car.
"Okay.. everybody got their seat belts on?"
"Yeah Jack.. you're going to need it.. she's driving"
"Japs!"
"Love ya?" He grins his special 'I love you and you know that so you won't get angry with me no matter what I do' grin. I hate it when he does that.
-sigh-

I turn the key and the engine roars to life.. erhm.. rattles to life.. no.. it isn't that bad.. just.. comes to life..
I look in the rear view mirror and see Jack fumbling with the lock of the door.
"Jack! What are you doing!"
"Get out! Get out! There's this huge beast in this contraption! Didn't you hear it roar?"
I think Jasper is going to die.. can someone die from laughing too hard?
"No Jack.. it's just fine.. it's just the car.. erh.. perhaps Jasper can explain it to you once he's stopped laughing. You should try whacking him on the shoulder.. that usually helps.. or kissing him.. that does the trick for me.. though I doubt he'll like that.. "
Lona.. babbling.. oh.. right..

Putting the car in reverse I manage to get us from the parking lot in one piece, with Jack on the backseat, looking around in awe. And Jasper on the front seat.. making very suspicious laughing/chocking noises.

After a short drive we arrive at the city centre, with shops! Parking.. right.. hate that.. I never seem to get it right. So after three tries I give up, turning the engine off and shooing the two guys out of my car.
Jasper and Jack get out and leave the locking of the doors to me.. yes, my car is old, yes, the locking of the doors is to be done manually...yes.. that is almost from last century.. now hush!
Jasper shakes his head, looking at my wonderful parking performance. Which means that three of the four wheels are not in the parking space.. and the fourth wheel is exactly in the middle of the square.. now.. take a minute to picture that in your mind.. ok.. thanks.. you can stop laughing now.

A/N I live in Holland.. so does Jasper.. and almost everyone in Holland speaks Dutch.. and a few speak German.. and another few think Fries is a language.. but English.. no.. Sadly, because Jack doesn't speak Dutch, and probably 98 percent of the readers on FF have this same small setback.. this presents a minor problem. Because in reality, the shopkeepers wouldn't understand Jack.. and Jasper and I don't communicate in English.. ok.. I'll stop babbling.. So I. .Lona.. the author.. decide to let everyone in Holland.. or at least in this Fic, talk some sort of English.. UR welcome :)

Jack carefully pokes the hood of my car with his finger "Remarkable" he mumbles under his breath.
"Yes, yes.. it a miracle, the wonders of the Twenty first century, now come on".

Jasper and I lock hands as we let Jack wander around in front of us, keeping an eye on him where ever he goes. Our first goal.. find shoes. Jasper has size 46, and Jack.. doesn't wear shoes.. and we found out Jasper's shoes are WAY too big for him..

We first go to the ShoeGiant (SchoenenReus.. for our Dutch readers).
The shopkeeper is giving us strange looks.. well.. not really surprising.. I mean.. Jack still looks.. well.. like Jack.. But more.. clean.
"Can I help you?" he asks, looking down his nose at us.
"Aye mate, show us your finest boots" Jack says as he looks around the shop curiously.
Oi.. this man is looking a wee bit snobbish..
"Boots sir? What size?"
Jack looks surprised
"Well.. 30 centimetres high would do it I think"
-Cough- Time to step in.
"Excuse my friend here, he's from erhm.. abroad, I'd say his size is 42.. please? Black shoe's, leather, but still casual would be best I imagine" I flash him my sweetest smile.
"Yes.. quite.. wait here miss.. sirs"

Yay... another chappie done.. more in the style of Dream On..lemme know what you think and what you prefer..

Love, Lona