CW: graphic depictions of violence (murder), this is during a rehearsal for The Laramie Project. just wanted to give a specific heads up for this scene!
Sooooo in this chapter, Holly makes Jade take a driver's test and the kiddos have fun at karaoke dokie!
(the title is in reference to the song Jade sings, You and I by Lady Gaga, and also Liz Gillies has a real cover of that on Youtube so if you haven't seen it you're REALLY missing out.
Today, 8:14 PM
Hey, do you want a ride to school tomorrow? I could pick you up. You know, if your mom is okay with that.
Tori was tilting her phone screen away from Holly who sat on the couch next to her. David was beginning to lightly snore only twenty minutes into the new The Great Gatsby movie. It might have been more appealing if it was another plot than the one Tori had remembered reading the book for English class sophomore year. Though Tori tried to hide her smirk while she typed back on the screen, Holly was not born yesterday.
"Who are you texting?"
The dreaded question Holly asked virtually every time she noticed Tori on her phone during a designated family night. "Jade."
"Hmm," Holly nodded slowly, turning to the TV again. "Is that why you're always smiling when you're on your phone?"
Tori's cheeks flushed bright pink, and again, Holly wasn't born yesterday. "What? Oh, I don't know. She's funny."
She used to say that about Danny…
The teenager's paranoia grew with every next silence filled second after her last words. "Um, she asked if she could pick me up tomorrow morning for school."
That triggered an exasperated sigh from Holly. "Honestly, I'm surprised nobody has asked you yet. How are you feeling about it?"
Tori hadn't really had a bad experience with being in the car. It was weird to think about, but it was a bit different since she wasn't actually in a car when the accident happened. She had done a lot of thinking about it and ultimately decided that cars are much safer in accidents than being out in the open on a bike, let alone with a helmet.
"I'd be fine."
"Do you know how she is as a driver?"
She looked down in a pondering moment. "Nope. No clue."
"Me neither," her mom murmured. "Am I a horrible mother if I say yes?"
Tori's eyes lit up as she sat up in her spot. "I don't think so. Obviously, she will be extra cautious."
"But what if something happens?"
"Let her do it," David mumbled from his spot. His eyes were still closed, but evidently, he wasn't as "asleep" as the other two had thought.
Tori let out a breathless laugh. "Are you sure? I'm sorry something as simple as this is so weird and scary."
"Don't apologize. Your dad's right. But I'd like to have a word with her before you leave," Holly's neutral expression had grown almost sinister by the end of her sentence.
The brunette gulped. "Um, okay."
"Good morning, Jade!"
The fair-skinned girl's eye makeup was especially dark today, Holly noticed. "Um, hi."
Tori grabbed her bag off the couch while Holly cleared her throat and neared Jade. She noticed her friend's posture stiffening as Holly extended her laptop out for Jade to see.
"I'm just going to ask you a few questions before you leave."
Jade eyed Tori with a raised eyebrow, and Tori shrugged helplessly. Her mom had warned her that this would happen, and refused to rethink her coping skills and insisted it must be done.
, Jade saw in the URL bar. "Oh… um-"
"Please refer to the picture on the screen when answering the question," Holly spoke in an alarmingly accurate customer service voice. Tori fumbled with her hands, miserably failing to keep her eyes off of Jade's legs in sheer black tights underneath her skirt.
Jade looked closely, refusing to argue with her crush's mom about something she desperately wanted to do for weeks now. There was a graphic of a construction worker holding a flag horizontally away from his body. "Uh, I'm gonna go with stop."
Holly's head fell. "Incorrect."
"What?" Jade's edge surfaced.
"Doesn't know her flag signals, strike one," Holly whispered to Tori, as if Jade couldn't hear her perfectly while standing a foot away from her.
"Fuck," Jade muttered under her breath.
"Excuse me?" Holly snapped, causing Jade to jump.
"I mean, shoot!"
Tori snorted and hid her face from the scene. God, this is so embarrassing.
"Next question," Holly's voice was calm again as she clicked to the next slide.
The picture showed a stop sign. Jade might regret answering sarcastically, but she couldn't help herself. "I think that's a yield sign-"
"Strike two!" Holly yelled.
"Mom, come on! She's just joking, a four-year-old could point out a stop sign."
"But she said yield."
Jade crossed her arms. "No, a yield sign is shaped like a triangle. I have one strike, continue."
Holly was taken aback by Jade's response, but couldn't argue as she would laugh any minute herself now. Keeping it together, she clicked to the next slide. "Okay, this is a fill-in-the-blank. You must 'blank' for an emergency vehicle using flashing lights, a siren, or an air horn that is approaching you from either direction. Your choices are-"
"You pull over," Jade replied confidently.
"Pull over where?" Holly tested.
"The right."
Tori could have answered that one herself. She was curious to see how long this would go on, if Holly would insist on giving a full test or just cave. I wonder if Jade can keep her cool this entire time, too.
Holly clicked to move on. "This sign indicates-"
"School zone."
Next. Holly scrunched her nose. "You may not pass a vehicle on the left if your lane has a broken white center line, you are far from a curve, your lane has a broken center yellow line, or your lane has a solid center yellow line."
"Your lane has a solid center yellow line."
Next.
"When you see a triangular road sign, you must…"
"Slow down."
Holly didn't pause. "You must 'blank' for an emergency vehicle using flashing lights, a siren, or an air horn that is approaching you from either direction. 200, 300, 400, or 500 feet."
Jade sighed with frustration, sounding genuinely disappointed in herself. "I don't know, just don't blind somebody. I never have my headlights on if I can see another car across the way from me."
Tori interjected, finally. "Mom, it's daytime right now. How many questions is this test?"
"Forty," Holly shrugged as if that wasn't an absurd amount.
"Okay, then can you just... skip over the pointless ones?"
"There are no pointless rules in driving, Tori."
The defeated daughter sunk into the couch and stared at the blank TV screen. Unbelievable.
"Mrs. Vega, I don't want to make us late for school. Do you mind if I just complete this on my own?"
Holly wasn't expecting Jade to be this calm about things, let alone offer to complete the entire test. Little did Jade know that Tori's mom was more so evaluating her sensitivity to the situation and not her DMV test-taking skills. She handed her laptop to the younger girl and turned to watch her quietly make her way to the kitchen table. Tori glanced back at Holly to see an unexpected look on her face.
"Are you about to cry?" Tori asked through a smile.
Holly held her hand up to her lips. "Don't look at me," she croaked while holding back tears.
Tori looked back to Jade at the table and admired her focused scowl. She felt a warmth glowing in her chest, knowing Jade was putting up with this because she wanted to drive Tori to school so bad that she wasn't questioning Holly's overbearing self
Maybe two minutes passed before Jade silently walked the laptop back to Holly.
"Only two questions wrong. Quite impressive."
"Thank you," Jade said through a sigh of relief.
"How do I know you didn't Google the answers?"
" Mom, we're going to be late for school! Just look in the web history or something!" Tori stood from the couch and pulled her bag over her shoulder.
Holly hid a giggle underneath her hand. "Jade, she's my baby. Please be safe."
Tori held the door open for her friend, who turned back to Holly with a smile. "I will."
"No texting and driving-"
"Bye, mom!" Tori reached out for Jade's hand to pull her through the doorway outside. Jade startled at the contact but memorized every sensation in her body upon realizing that the two had held hands for a few brief seconds.
Tori could feel her heartbeat in her throat, even though it was her conscious choice to grab the other's hand. "I'm so sorry about that."
Jade waved her hand to dismiss Tori's worry. "Don't be. It was worth it."
The car's scent consisted of perfume, coffee, and a faint smell of lavender from the empty scent clip in one of the vents. Tori buckled her seatbelt and took a deep sigh. "You are a safe driver, right?"
"Of course," Jade grunted while fastening her seatbelt. Tori's eyes directed themselves to the rearview mirror, where she noticed a shovel propped upright in the backseat. She jumped at the sight, primarily thinking it was a person's face.
"Um, can I ask why you have a shovel?"
Jade put the car into reverse and smirked as she checked all of her mirrors before accelerating. "Just in case."
Tori gulped. "In case… what?"
"You know… just in case."
Protection weapon? Probably. She has an axe, so this tracks. Heh, that rhymes. Tori couldn't help but to snicker at her inner thoughts, but Jade wasn't expecting a pleasant reaction from that.
"What's so funny?"
Tori shifted her posture in her seat. "Nothing."
"Okay," Jade laughed. "Wanna pick some music?"
"Oo! Yes."
Dead Sara certainly wasn't the first thing Jade would expect Tori to play through the speakers. In fact, it was probably one of the last things she'd expect out of the mainstream pop fan.
"Alright, who told you I liked Dead Sara?"
"Andre did. I found it in my um, internet history. Didn't remember who they were."
Jade bit her lip and tried to keep a straight face, but something about Tori discovering Jade's favorite music and actually enjoying it enough to listen to it again set the butterflies in her stomach off again. She would have burst into belting, but she didn't want to be distracted. Tori was Holly's baby, and she needed to get to school safely.
"Did you know the lead singer Emily Armstrong is like, probably bi?"
Tori's stomach flipped. "Oh, so that's why you like her, is it?"
Jade shrugged. "She is incredibly hot."
The brunette could have sworn her heartbeat stopped after hearing those words. "Oh, um. Yeah, I watched the music video. She's cool."
Is now a good time to tell her that she had the words "I Kissed A Girl" taped to her locker door for the entirety of sophomore and junior year? Jade thought while she wondered what else Tori had discovered in her browser history.
"'He was tied to the fence-his hands were thumbs out in what we call a cuffing position-the way we handcuff people. He was bound with a real thin white rope, it went around the bottom of the pole, about four inches up off the ground. His shoes were missing. He was tied extremely tight-so I used my boot knife and tried to slip it in between the rope and his wrist-I had to be extremely careful not to harm Matthew any further.'"
Jade's acting was entrancing, to say the least. Tori couldn't believe she had somehow made it into a crowd of some of the most talented people at her school. Every single day was a constant reminder of how impressive all of her friends were at their craft. And then there was her, who was singing love songs about someone she doesn't even know anymore.
Beck's line was next, "'Your first thought is..well, certainly you'd like to think that it's somebody from out of town, that comes through and beats somebody. I mean, things like this happen, you know, shit happens, and it happens in Laramie. But if there's been somebody who has been beaten repeatedly, ah, certainly this is something that offends us. I think that's a good word. It offends us!'"
"'He was bound so tight-I finally got the knife through there-I'm sorry…" the way Jade choked up during her dialogue made Tori want to leap on stage and console her. She felt herself physically restrained while she reminded herself over and over again that Jade is just acting.
"'...We rolled him over to his left side-when we did that he quit breathing. Immediately, I put him on his back-and that was just enough of an adjustment-it gave me enough room to cut him free there…"
Tori glanced to Sikowitz and Lane, who for some reason weren't looking at Jade. Both of their eyes were on Tori, and she jumped in her seat at the chilling and unexpected eye contact. Sikowitz raised his coconut and clumsily met the straw to his lips again. Lane turned, crossed one of his legs over the other, and adjusted his glasses while turning back to the stage.
How. Why? Why wouldn't they be looking at Jade right now?
Jade noticed this interaction. She decided to burn a hole through Lane with her glare. "'I seen the EMS unit trying to get to the location, once the ambulance got there we put a neck collar on him, placed him on a back board, and scooted him from underneath the fence-then Rob drove the ambulance to Ivinson Hospital's emergency room…'"
The lights faded out on Jade for a moment, and Tori couldn't imagine the act of standing completely still while someone else on the stage gave a monologue. Isn't that incredibly difficult and awkward to do? I can't believe I was into acting this much, it's so vulnerable and intense… Her curiosity told her to look toward Lane and Sikowitz again, but she didn't want to experience such an awkward interaction again. Relax, Tori. Maybe they're just making sure this heavy play isn't affecting you negatively. Yeah, that's probably it.
Beck's voice faded back into Tori's attention, "'Now as soon as we saw Matthew… It was very obvious that his care was beyond our capabilities. Called the neurosurgeon at Poudre Valley, and he was on the road in an hour and fifteen minutes, I think.'"
"'They showed me a picture… days later I saw a picture of Matthew… I would have never recognized him," Jade's broken tone in her voice caused a lump to grow in Tori's throat.
"'Then two days later I found out the connection and I was… very… struck! They were two kids! They were both my patients and they were two kids. I took care of both of them… Of both their bodies. And… for a brief moment I wondered if this is how God feels when he looks down at us. How we are all his kids… Our bodies… Our souls… And I felt a great deal of compassion… For both of them…'"
The entire stage dimmed out before Sikowitz and Lane clapped for the two actors. Jade and Beck went back out of character and stretched their bodies a bit. Tori was just itching for the rehearsal to be done so she could maybe hug Jade again.
"This is really coming together, everyone. Seriously, very impressive," Lane said with a proud smile on his face.
"Beck," Sikowitz began with a negative sounding inflection. Jade smirked and crossed her arms; she was always eager to hear a director criticize Beck for a change. "You still aren't entirely convincing me that you're a Laramie, Wyoming man. You have a bit too much… swagger, if you will."
Jade snorted, knowing how difficult it was for her to break out of her own persona for this show. It was challenging to capture that small town character type, but Jade's upbringing in the northeast helped her a bit with achieving that.
Beck laughed, "I know, I know. Any recommendations?"
"Go on a road trip. Talk to some locals in some run-down little town on the prairie. Visit a diner! Have some old man with a coffee addiction and a monocle spill his life story to you."
Sikowitz's advice was always far-fetched, but Beck thought of how he would somehow make that tip work as he shot a thumbs up to his teacher. "You got it, boss."
Lane stood up from his chair and glanced around to everybody in the room. "Okay, same place Thursday night. Good work everyone!"
Finally. Tori jumped up from her seat and began to put her script away. Jade left the stage and approached Lane, who tried desperately to avoid the suspicious teen.
"Do I need to remind you of what I said?"
Tori had heard Jade from behind her and turned around to see the girl inching toward the counselor.
"No. That's not… we were just-"
"Because I meant every word of what I said." She held a glare at him for a few seconds, until he nodded slowly and turned to go in another direction. Jade slowly relaxed her body as she walked toward her bag which was next to Tori's.
"Um, what was that about?"
"Nothing," Jade replied quietly.
Great, more people lying to me. "You can tell me, I won't-"
"No, I really can't," Jade laughed with frustration, and let her bag fall to her chair again. It was a slightly aggressive move, and Tori took a step back when Jade's anger was almost directed toward the other. She immediately stopped herself, took a deep breath, and picked her bag up again while a wave of guilt washed over her. "Sorry, I don't mean to be snappy. It was something I talked to him about. I don't trust school guidance counselors, they always have their noses in my business."
Tori wasn't surprised by Jade's reaction and now understood that this truly was a private manner and something she didn't need to pry about. "I'm sorry. And sorry for asking, I didn't mean to come across as invasive."
"No, you didn't. I'm sorry. I'm just a little frustrated with him, that's all."
"It's okay," Tori whispered while pulling her phone out of her back pocket. "Ugh, that's my mom, she's here. I'll see you tomorrow morning?"
Jade had basically forgotten what had her aggravated in the first place at the mention of tomorrow morning. "Do you want another ride?"
Tori swayed a bit while an adorable smile appeared on her face. "Of course. Goodnight, Jade."
"Goodnight," the dark-haired girl stood awkwardly still, but Tori threw her arms around her without warning.
"You knew this was coming, right?" Tori's arms relaxed around Jade's back, and at long last, she received a hug where Jade's arms were wrapped around her waist. This was the specific hugging position Tori had been waiting for.
"Yeah, I did," Jade replied warmly. She was thankful that Lane had already left the room.
It was back to Katy Perry the next morning on Jade's car stereo. Unfortunately, it wasn't the gayest song the singer had released to date, which is what Jade would have loved to hear Tori sing along to.
"You know what's kind of cool? Her debut album was like, the highlight of 7th grade for me. But this new album, I get to hear it for the first time all over again!"
Jade really would never get used to Tori's exciting re-discoveries. So adorable, and so depressing at the same time. "Oh yeah, I hadn't thought of it like that."
She was dancing like a dork in the passenger's seat. Jade figured she was rocking back and forth so hard that the entire car would have been shaking if they were stopped at a light. Tori's cheesy old-school dance moves made it impossible for Jade not to smile and shake her head.
"Imma get your heart racing in my skin-tight jeans, be your teenage dream tonight…"
Yeah, Tori. You probably will be.
"Wide Awake" came on next, a song that Tori had cried listening to a few times. Jade noticed the shift in her energy; Tori had gone from fist-pumping, shoulder-bumping karaoke mode in the passenger's seat to a solemn and rather timid singalong. Tori kept her gaze out of the window to her right, desperately attempting to rememorize every house and street sign on the rest of the drive to school.
Weeks were going by slowly. It was almost November.
Andre had gotten a band together to begin rehearsals for Tori's song for the Prome this Friday.
The focus it required to perform a song live with a group of musicians helped Tori to take her mind off of the question burning in her mind. Tori also performed this way of singing, she thought. It was more fun to interact with the other musicians in the group and be able to move around with a microphone rather than be placed in a recording booth where you can't move from the microphone at all.
Andre had offered to bring Tori to Karaoke Dokie after the rehearsal, and of course, there was a surprise waiting there for her. Tori had asked her mom that morning if Andre could drive her there, and for some reason, Holly hadn't required Andre to complete a driving test before saying yes. This made no sense, as Tori remembered Andre getting a speeding ticket when he was on his way to visit her at the hospital.
"You're going to make me sing there, aren't you?"
"You'll thank me for it. It's super chill, the owners will remember you and be absolutely honored to have you back. I'm sure they uh, you know, know what happened to you."
Oh cool, I'm famous at a local Karaoke bar. Tori nervously laughed and unlocked her phone.
Today, 6:48 PM
You're in on whatever this thing Andre has planned, aren't you?
You should be a detective. 😛
Tori was nervous, but it would be better to perform in front of strangers rather than the entire school to practice a real performance in front of an audience. I don't even know what to sing. Shit.
"What do I sing? This is so much pressure!"
"Whatever you want, seriously they can do anything. They have every song in the universe loaded up in their system."
Tori groaned as she shoved her phone back in her pocket. "Will they ban me if I throw up all over the stage?"
Andre laughed and shook his head. "Come on, you're not going to."
"Oh, I don't know," Tori sighed. Andre parked the car and showed her the way inside. It was colorful, illuminated with too many moving colored lights to count, and it smelled like a typical casual American restaurant food. Tori was too busy taking in all of the patterned walls and studying the shape of the stage and its mini runway to notice that Beck, Robbie, Cat, and Jade were sitting at a large table waiting to greet her.
"So you mean to tell me I performed on that stage?"
"SURPRISE!" The friend group yelled simultaneously. Tori wasn't entirely surprised to see her friends but she was startled by the crowd of voices as she had been so distracted by the new atmosphere. Andre pushed his hand lightly against Tori's back to encourage her to hug everyone hello. Of course, she fell into Jade's arms almost immediately as Beck and Andre exchanged looks.
"Yay you're here!" Cat cheered as it was her turn to embrace Tori.
"I'm here! This is kinda weird," the brunette laughed while pulling away.
"You should have seen what you looked like as Louise Nordoff. That was weird," Beck laughed as he hugged Tori, but she refrained from embracing him too tightly.
"As who?" She made her way to Robbie reluctantly.
"I have pictures!" Cat giggled while pulling out her phone.
Tori took a moment to glance around again, taking into account the thousands of pictures she had seen from the last few years of her life. The memory of discovering a picture of her in a horrendous sweater, fake glasses, and a large plastic nose came flooding back to haunt her. "Oh, was that the one time I looked like an old witch librarian?"
"What are you talking about? You were beautiful!" Cat pushed Tori's shoulder lightly. "See? Hottest girl in the room, that's why they picked you!"
Tori glanced to Cat's phone, appalled by the sight and astonished at the fact that she once agreed to go in public like this. "Wow. At least I'm blonde, I guess!"
She settled into her seat in between Jade and Cat, and Robbie yelled for a waiter. Andre stopped him from doing so immediately, reminding him that the waiters and waitresses already hate them there because of how obnoxious Robbie is with them.
"What? How else are they going to notice or hear me?"
"It's their job to monitor tables at their own pace. Like, that's what they do," Beck's voice was stern as he spoke before sipping his water.
Jade shrugged. "I think it's funny."
"Yeah, plus we pay a lot of money here. Do you think they really care?" Robbie argued while holding his jaw open.
Tori didn't have much to contribute to the conversation, so she snuck glances at what was visible of Jade's thighs beneath the table. She couldn't help but to stare every time Jade was in a skirt and dark tights.
"Uh, yeah it seems they do care," Andre's eyes were wide as he noticed the owner approaching them. He was the dad whose daughter Tori had defeated mercilessly when she performed "Freak The Freak Out." Of course, no one had ever explained just how pathetic that whole situation was while they were too focused on emphasizing Tori's performance.
"Back again, huh?" The man groaned as his head tilted back. " Please stop harassing the waiters," he directed at Robbie whose shoulders slumped.
"We've brought a special guest tonight," Andre gestured to Tori who nervously exchanged looks with the man. He had said that the people who work there would have heard about her situation, but this man was unphased.
"Oh yeah. Car accident?"
"Uh, yeah. That was me."
He appeared even more disinterested. Perhaps something had happened to him in his past, Tori thought. This could be a sensitive topic for him. He half-assed a smile and began to walk away from the table.
Jade abruptly stood up in her spot while slamming her hands down on the table. "Yeah, and it could be you too, any day buddy!"
"Jade," Beck sighed and pressed his hand to his forehead. Tori was constantly surprised by the actions Jade would sometimes make just to defend her.
The man turned around with a foul look upon his face. "I lost my mother a year and a half ago. She was in a wheelchair and some maniac came barreling down the street. So sorry I didn't have the reaction you were expecting."
Jade's pointed finger fell slowly down to her side again, and while her rage had diminished, it was painful to hurt back the laughter inside just waiting to explode. Andre nonchalantly covered his mouth with his hand to refrain from the same action. The owner shook his head and walked away quickly to disappear in the back.
"Is… do you think that was the same…" Andre began, looking at Tori with horror in his eyes. He wasn't the only one staring at Tori, and she soon spoke up.
"What? What! Why are you all looking at me?"
"Don't worry about it," Jade muttered, waving her hand to clear the air of the awkward tension. "Damn, I wasn't expecting that."
"RIP to Grandma Jean," Andre toasted proudly to his friends as he raised his glass in the air. Tori wasn't sure why everyone was clinking glasses over something as sad as this, but she was beginning to get used to accepting when people didn't want her to know specific pieces of information.
It was hard to focus on the continuing conversation at the table with such a busy atmosphere. Tori realized she hadn't been to a restaurant yet, let alone with such vibrant visuals and loud music. The conversations at other tables were keeping Tori from staying in the moment; she couldn't help but think something else could have been altered from the accident. If music was her life, what would she have done then if she lost her hearing? Maybe she would become a writer, it was something she always wished to be good at.
"You okay?" Jade's voice was soft against Tori's ear as she suddenly snapped back into reality. Her friend's hand rested gently on Tori's thigh, sending a shiver down her back.
"Yeah, sorry. I'm just distracted."
"Too noisy in here?"
"Yeah. And I'm really nervous to sing."
Cat was listening closely to Tori's responses as well and chimed in. "Do you want to eat or sing first? The food comes out pretty fast, and I always like saving a meal until after a performance."
Tori scowled and turned to the redhead. "Why's that?"
The small girl shrugged. "I don't know. Pitch Perfect has scarred me I guess."
"What's Pitch Perfect?" Tori was continually confused with half of the conversations so far in the night.
Jade chuckled. "A dumb movie."
Cat gasped dramatically. "I love that movie!"
"Exactly," Jade beamed at Cat before returning her attention to Tori. "I vote you should get it over with. Want me to walk you up to the DJ?"
Tori took a sharp inhale through her nose. "You're probably right. Sure."
Andre lit up with excitement. "Yeah! Go Tori go!"
Beck and Robbie clapped her on as Jade and Tori stood from the table to make their way up to the stage. Once the man at the table asked what she'd like to sing, Tori's heart began to race.
"'Animal' by Neon Trees. Except, is there any way you can raise the key a little bit? It's a little too low for me at certain points."
The DJ squinted at his screen. "Of course, gimme one sec…"
"You'll do great," Jade whispered to Tori as the music was processed to the new key. Tori shot back a small smile and could feel her knees trembling.
Jade weaved between the tables back to her spot, taken aback by Tori's choice in song. She relayed all of the lyrics in her head, wondering if her friend had picked the song for a specific reason. Additionally, Tori wasn't one to go for songs originally sung by men, but Jade sure as hell was going to enjoy it.
The lights dimmed in the house, bringing attention to the stage where Tori scuffed her feet on the floor. Jade watched as the DJ was still talking to the other.
"Mind if I ask the place to give you a cheer for your, you know, recovery?"
Tori felt as though she should say no, but if it meant feeling a little more secure that the audience would support her even if she wasn't great, she decided to agree to it.
"Up next, we have a special performance from Tori Vega!"
The room fell silent, but every person turned to the stage causing the brunette to freeze in her place.
"As some of us probably know, Tori has gone through quite a lot recently, but she's still kicking it as an incredible performer!"
Tori held the microphone up to her mouth and laughed nervously. She appreciated that he wasn't specific with what had happened to her "Oh, well... I'm not even sure about that."
There were soft murmurs around; while people had probably heard of the accident, Tori wondered how many were aware of her memory loss. She would prefer it if not everyone and their mother knew, which she had told the DJ.
"Well, only one way to find out!"
Even David's home surround sound system seemed pathetic in comparison to the speakers in this place. The floor beneath her feet began to rumble in time with the kick drum, and the sound of guitars filled her ears. Tori would have been nervous, but during the short intro to the song, she decided that if things were going to be this loud there was no use in being shy now.
You've seen videos of yourself. You weren't afraid, and you're still you.
Jade remembered how Tori's performance at the Platinum Music Awards made her heart stop beating and compared it to this moment. Somehow, this was even more extreme of a case.
" Here we go again, I kinda wanna be more than friends
So take it easy on me, I'm afraid you're never satisfied..."
Cat cheered loudly, raising some claps from the audience already. Tori laughed a bit away from the microphone before pulling it back to her face. It was a thrill to be performing in front of strangers, especially with a song as energetic as this one. She figured it would be best to try and not maintain eye contact with anyone specifically so the nerves didn't get the best of her. Don't look at Jade, she'll think you're creepy.
Jade couldn't wipe a smirk off of her face at Tori's subtle hip swaying. Well, this turns me on even more than I was expecting it to. Jade turned her face away as she could even feel herself blushing a bit at Tori singing in her lower register.
"... No I won't sleep tonight
Oh-oh I want some more
Oh-oh what are you waiting for?
Take a bite of my heart tonight…"
Tori's friends at the table all went wild, standing up and dancing, but Jade couldn't move a muscle. The performer looked right at Jade as she continued into the second verse.
"Here we are again, I feel the chemicals kicking in,
It's getting heavy and I wanna run and hide,
I wanna run and hide…"
Even now, with Tori singing directly to Jade, the dark-haired girl couldn't let her imagination favor her. Tori's feelings stop at friends. Tori's feelings stop at friends. We are best friends, and Tori's locking eyes with you because you're not standing, you jerk.
With the next bit of the verse, Jade slowly stood from her chair to clap Tori on. If she didn't, she knew Tori would wonder what was keeping Jade from joining the rest. A sudden burst of confidence surged through Tori upon seeing Jade stand up, preparing her for the next part. The brunette did not hold back whatsoever with the desperation of the next few lines.
"I do it every time,
You're killing me now,
But I won't be denied by you,
The animal inside of you…"
Her voice was revealing its tone now, and Tori felt electric. It felt as though no one would be able to stop the high she was feeling from singing her heart out. For some reason, singing live with a microphone boosted her confidence. You could hear yourself better, your voice was balanced well with the rest of the music and there was just an overall exciting new world of ways to manipulate your voice to achieve different sounds. It was impossible to be anything but entirely immersed in the sound of the music. Her own voice surrounded her as she truly appreciated her talent for the first time again.
Time stopped as she was no longer worried about remembering the words to the verses past the second chorus. The rest came naturally, just Tori, a microphone, and a stage was enough to make her forget the world existed, something she had been longing for very often.
An unidentifiable feeling arose in her as she realized these lyrics spoke to her, especially the second verse. Feeling the chemicals kicking in, it's so heavy I want to hide ... Oh. Her eyes found Jade again, who was now smiling and dancing with Cat and visibly more comfortable.
The answer, the mystery, the indescribable emotions, this specific group of confusing feelings and thoughts that Tori had been muddling through for weeks all had to do with one person. The 'grouch with a great sense of humor, the alternative gothic, unexpected best friend of Tori's.
That's the reason I like this song so much… It reminds me of Jade.
This panicked feeling every time I'm around her, how nervous she makes me… Do I kinda wanna be more than friends with Jade? Is that really what this is? Does this even make sense? Jesus Christ, I was watching girls kissing on my phone weeks ago, fuck! I still am! Tori! Fuck! What the fuck!
The panic brought an energy to Tori's performance that stood out from the beginning. As she belted through the ending of the song, she was almost frantic like she wished the time suddenly went faster and the song was over. Once it finally finished there was an overwhelming uproar of cheer and applause. It was almost like white noise to Tori, she couldn't process many of her senses right now as fear paralyzed her. The only thing she could focus on was her recent realization that she likes a girl, and that girl is Jade.
The DJ invited one last applause for Tori, but she only did a small wave to the audience and couldn't soak up all the love and appreciation for too long.
Great, now go sit back down next to your crush. Let's see how normal you act the rest of the night.
Cat slammed into Tori with a tight squeeze once she neared the table. "That was just like old times! Like, that was so you! That's still you!"
"I know, crazy right?" Andre was at a loss for words. He kept trying to start sentences, and his arms were moving about as if he could push the words out of his mouth. "Tori, what the fuck," he finally laughed. He wrapped his arms around her next, holding back a cry as he remembered the first time he had heard her sing.
"Thanks, guys… that was truly, um… eye-opening," Tori laughed nervously, but it wasn't a regular nervous laugh. Something was up, and Jade detected it.
"I didn't even know you liked Neon Trees," Robbie chimed in.
"Me neither," Tori brushed her hands on her jeans. "I um, I don't know. I just wanted to sing that song in particular."
Andre had eyes that worked extremely well, he knew exactly who Tori was eyeing in the second verse. Jade was the only one at the table not speaking up or giving compliments. Tori glanced to her, feeling her heartbeat race just at the sight of the other tugging at her bottom lip with her teeth.
"Earth to Jade," Andre spoke like a robot, chuckling to relieve the girl of her awkward silence.
"Sorry," she muttered. "You were okay."
Tori threw her head back. "Really? That's all you're gonna give me Jade West?"
"Yeah, it was alright," the fair-skinned girl smirked, still refusing to look at Tori.
"Damn it, you are mean!"
"No, no, no! No. No, I'm just joking, come on, Tori."
Tori laughed, knowing Jade just didn't want to admit how much she had enjoyed the performance. It probably made her some weird type of emotional, Tori thought. Jade had previously proven herself to be sentimental and quite emotional regarding the whole situation.
"I know. When are you gonna get up and sing?"
Jade needed to do anything it would take to distract her tender feelings for Tori, so she had a plan. "Right now."
Tori groaned. "Oh, great. You're going to upstage me."
The other was already standing from the table and adjusting her skirt. "Maybe," Jade's voice was raspy as she winked at Tori.
Oh, God. Fuck. It's really true. I've got it bad for Jade.
Andre's 20/20 vision also led him to notice Tori's face appearing as she had just seen a ghost. The wink, making her look like that? Damn.
Tori tried sipping on her soda to forget the shitstorm happening in her brain, but before she knew it the DJ was introducing her friend. Her crush.
"Up next, we got Jade West singing some Lady Gaga! Here's You and I."
Jade held a stance in the back of the aisle leading to the front of the stage. The lights were mostly dimmed, though a soft orange light cast upon her skin. Her head was tilted down, her narrowing eyes fixing straight ahead of her toward the ceiling.
"It's been a long time since I came around,
Been a long time but I'm back in town,
And this time I'm not leaving without you."
Fuck. She is so hot. Her legs, her hips, her chest, her eyes, her everything… she is so damn attractive. Duh, Tori. She's made you feel like this basically since meeting her. What the fuck is happening to me?
The way Jade moved was incredibly smooth despite her impulsive and abrupt behavior. Even her slow walk toward the front of the stage was hypnotizing, and all she was really doing was bouncing her hips a bit as she walked. Her eyes sparkled in the spotlights, accenting on the sky blue color that filled them. Her skin was practically sparkling as she finally stood in the center of the stage and glanced around at the audience.
"Sit back down where you belong,
In the corner of my bar with your high heels on…"
Jade kicked a foot outwards in time with the loud drums of the song and dipped down like she was picking something off of the floor in a way that brought attention to her ass. It reminded Tori of that one scene in Legally Blonde that Trina had made her watch. Jade didn't bend and snap, she slowly rolled her upper body back up and pivoted back outward to the center of the room.
"Sit back down on the couch where we
Made love the first time and you said to me,
There's something, something about this place,
Something about lonely nights and my lipstick on your face…"
It was as if Jade had written this song herself. Every word and deliverance was believable, of course, there was a line about lipstick to make Tori imagine all the places Jade could leave her lipstick on the other's body. Jade was suddenly a fantasy to Tori, all of these times she wanted the other to hug her, how badly she wished she could see Jade perform for real with lights and loud music, and all of these things were slowly coming true one by one. Unfortunately, while she was closer to Jade, she was still so, so far away.
Cool Nebraska guy? Hm, that's… unfortunate. Tori glanced at her friends at the table with confusion at the song lyric, but it didn't phase anyone. Robbie had his eyes closed as he bobbed his head back and forth. It seemed as though he was truly feeling the music, though he still seemed incredibly stiff and awkward. Beck could hardly look at Jade, but the reason for that was kind of obvious. Andre was smiling wide, his right-hand fingers rested on the tabletop, the way he moved them made Tori think he was "air playing" piano along with the song. Cat was mouthing along with every word and waving her hands in the air along with the beat.
Second verse, and Jade's eyes were fixed on the table. Tori couldn't tell from her seat if Jade was eyeing her specifically, or if her eyes were fixed on another luscious-haired person at the table.
"It's been two years since I let you go,
I couldn't listen to a joke or rock and roll,
Muscle cars drove a truck right through my heart
On my birthday you sang me A Heart of Gold
With a guitar hummin' and no clothes,
This time I'm not leaving without you…"
Dear God, you cannot expect me to be straight when Jade is growling in her singing like that. While that moment was extremely pleasurable, disturbing images flashed through Tori's head of Beck and Jade being intimate together. She figured Jade was glancing at her ex-boyfriend, and of course, couldn't be further from the truth.
Jade was straight out of a music video, the way she moved, her expressions while singing, all of her performance continually impressed Tori. How was Jade this good at singing and acting? Too much talent for one person. Too many good looks for one person. Too much for Tori to admire and not be able to say anything about how she was feeling.
It was crazy, but Tori wondered if maybe they would have a chance. Jade was probably way too cool, too different, too far out of Tori's league. Jade had a big attitude, scared everyone, was into grungy rock shit, and Tori hardly knew who she was herself. Even if Tori had a chance with Jade, what person would choose to date someone who just went through an extremely traumatic life event and doesn't know quite where their head or heart is at?
God, you're seriously contemplating if you have a chance? As if.
Tori glanced toward Andre, a second large realization coming to mind. He eventually caught her glance but wasn't sure why she was looking at him with such a horrified expression. He scowled back, noticing she had seemed a little off since performing and writing it off as nerves.
The brunette shook her head slightly and pulled out her phone. Her heart was beating out of her chest as she navigated to the Notes app on her phone. She clicked on her most recent entry while Andre watched as the other's eyes darted from left to right as she read.
The words on her screen made tears well in her eyes. Eventually, it was so blurry that she couldn't read anymore. Andre leaned toward her over the table, asking what was the matter. Tori extended a shaky hand that held her phone, showing him the lyrics to the song he had been rehearsing with her.
"I get it now… This is about... J-"
"Oh, God! Oh, oh my God!"
She wasn't expecting Andre to jump up from her chair and stumble over Cat to grab Tori by the arm and pull her outside to the parking lot again. Jade noticed, but didn't let it stop her show; nothing could stop her performance of one of her favorite songs ever written.
Andre was out of breath, panicked, and still holding Tori by the arms. "Wait, you- you figured it out?"
Tori scowled and blinked rapidly as she gazed back into her friend's wild eyes. "What do you mean 'figured it out?'"
" Who do you think that song is about again?" He was practically whispering.
Tori gulped before responding. "Jade, maybe."
Andre let go of her and broke into hysterical laughter and dance. Tori probably would have been hyperventilating if he hadn't, and this reaction was surprisingly comforting to her. She wondered for a minute exactly how her life had gotten to this point; she just confessed to liking a girl, and now her sidekick man was joyfully dancing on the sidewalk.
She finally shook her head and held her arms out. "Am I missing something?"
"No! You did it! And this is unbelievable! Nobody wanted to tell you because you were just starting to figure it out before the accident happened!"
"You liar! You knew this whole time and you didn't say anything!"
"Tori, I wasn't going to try and tell you you're bi and into your best friend two weeks after you lost two years of your memory."
The girl froze, and a smile soon appeared on her face. "Oh, I'm bi? Really?"
"Last I knew, yeah," Andre smiled too. "And honestly, I'm surprised it took you that long to figure it out."
She couldn't help but giggle at Andre's playful taunting. "Ohhh my God, this is insane."
"This is life, baby! I'm fascinated. Man, this was fun the first time you told me but this is even better."
"Who else knows?" There was no room for Tori to have a relaxed and balanced conversation, too many questions swarmed around in her head.
"Jade," he replied nonchalantly.
The brunette's eyes bulged out of her head at Andre, and she almost got her hands on him. "You told her?!"
"Whoa! No! You did!"
"That doesn't even make sense. I have a crush on her, why would I tell her! WAIT, who knows I have a crush on her?!"
"Only I do! Don't worry. Listen, she came out to you first, then you came out to her, I don't know! Perhaps it was inspired by the play you two were supposed to perform in together."
The Laramie Project. Fuck.
"Oh, wow. Okay. Well, wait, you said this happened right before the accident?"
Andre was still dancing a bit as he shimmied his shoulders. "Uh-huh."
Tori's shoulders fell from disappointment. "She texted me the night of the accident."
Andre's body relaxed by now, and he returned his full attention to Tori with a serious gaze. "What did she say?"
"That she needed to talk to me."
The two stood and pondered for a moment. Tori broke the silence with a desperate tone. "So I never told her about my feelings?"
Andre chuckled and rubbed his hands together. "No, but you really wanted to."
"Well, why didn't I? What if she already knows? Is she just waiting for me to make a move like some kind of idiot? Is this why she's been so nice to me and why everything has seemed awkward between us at times and yet we can't stay away from each other-"
"Whoa, whoa. She does not think you like her. At least, like that. No way."
Tori was surprisingly relieved to hear this, yet disheartened that it wouldn't be that easy to accept the unrequited feelings. "Okay, good. You know, I know how this goes. You accidentally catch feelings for your best friend, you can't take it anymore so you tell them, then they ditch you for the end of time because it's just so awkward-"
Andre stopped Tori again, speaking smoothly to keep her eyes from overflowing again. "She wouldn't do that to you. And who knows, you don't know how she feels."
Tori laughed awkwardly and tilted her head at Andre. "She doesn't like me. I mean, come on. I'm a walking trainwreck. She's not into me like that, there's no way, she's too..." she choked on her words, hesitant at complimenting another girl's looks, out loud, for the first time. "... Too beautiful."
"Hey man, all I'm saying is anything is possible."
"You're not saying she likes me, are you?" Tori grimaced, fearing that even if she heard the answer she wished was true, she would still feel as though she could throw up.
Andre shrugged. "No. She doesn't talk to anybody about her emotions."
"Well, she talks to me about them-"
"Here's what we're going to do. You're going to perform at the Prome on Friday. That will get the feelings off of your chest, just like you wanted it to. Now it's not just "Jade's Song", it's Jade's Song."
Tori suddenly felt guilty that she ran out on the rest of Jade's performance, suddenly wishing her eyes weren't currently being deprived of Jade's thighs in dark sheer jeans. "Okay. And?"
"After that, if you still believe that to be true, you can tell her."
"I can't do that-"
"Why not? You were going to the first time, and you missed your chance. This might really be your only chance this time."
Tori waved her hands in defeat. She knew Andre was right but hated to admit it to herself. "Well, maybe I don't have to tell her so soon, the feelings might go away or whatever-"
"Tori, if you lost two years of your memory and still put it together that you have feelings for Jade even after forgetting her existence, I don't think this is just, you know, a small little crush. You cannot pass up this chance, I will not let you."
Just as Andre was finished speaking, the two turned rapidly toward the front door where Jade and Cat appeared.
"You okay?" Cat cooed with a soft smile.
Tori's hoarse laugh was almost hysterical as she made incoherent gestures with no words to match them. "Yeah, I'm fine! Fine. Just uh, needed some air."
"What, did I heat the place up too much?" Jade smirked while bumping her hip into Cat's.
That's not a comment someone would make if they have a crush on you. That's just Jade being Jade. She just has this natural ability to be an extremely flirtatious goddess, but nothing is specific to you because you are just you.
"It was very good," Tori managed, holding in a breath. "But what's with all the Nebraska stuff? Men from Nebraska?"
Andre and Tori followed Jade back inside and Cat giggled. "My Grandpa lived in Nebraska growing up."
"Not sure what Lady Gaga was getting after, but who knows. Maybe I'll try one out someday."
"Gross," Tori muttered impulsively.
Jade turned to the other with an eyebrow raised. Her lips slowly pulled into a smile at Tori. "Gross?"
Tori cleared her throat. "Um, I mean… yeah, get a Nebraska guy or whatever."
Andre must have still been feeling some sort of beat in his body; Tori noticed his shoulders bopping rhythmically again, Jade saw it too. He always had grooves stuck in his head, but Tori's face burned up at the fact that Andre had truly been encouraging this friendship the entire time.
She thinks I'm incredible, but I think she's everything.
A/N: THERE. TORI VEGA IS BI. Or is she... (nah she big lesbian but we'll get there eventually)
As always, thank you for reading!