Tadaaa… I'm back.. Sorry I didn't update for a few days.. but on Saturday I was way too busy playing Pokémon on the GC.. and on Monday I was in bed with this awful migraine.. EVIl!

Kei-Ookami.kara.mori: Oh.. he will suffer.. trust me.. suffer he will –muahahaha-

Shotgunxwedding: Do not not review! I love reviews! Thank you so much for your review! Everyone who reviews for that matter.. Hugging Norrie? Well.. perhaps.. if he stops being so mean to me!

Queenofinsanity: More is coming up!

Nicole: Yeah.. I updated! Go me –grins.. no I do not have an ego!.. ok.. that was a lie- Jasper actually asked me that once.. but that was after I told him I wanted to teach my dog how to be a cow..

Alori: Thank you for your great reviews! I really appreciate them.. I wasn't offended! It helps me a lot.. gives me the feeling that people are actually reading this stuff I write.. and not only the plot is goofy.. some people keep telling me I'm sort of strange too

Disclaimer: I do not own POTC.. nope.. never did..

Chapter 8: I sprung a man from jail!

My own POV
-sings- "If I touch a burning candle, I can feel no pain.."
"Yeah? Wanna try? I'll do the candle bit.. and you can try the not feeling pain bit" and that was Norrie.."
-still singing- "If you cut me with a knife it's still the same"
"Ah.. a knife.. oh yeah.. I'd give anything to have a knife right now.. at least I'd have some way to SHUT YOU UP!"
"Aw stop your yelling.. you're interrupting my singing!"
"That's the whole bloody point!"
"Noh! That's mean! I..I.. I need beer" pouting a little I try to find some place to sit.. preferably somewhere dry.. or at least slightly moist instead of soaking wet.
"Y'know?"
Norrington stays quiet a little while.. then sighs.
"Know what?"
"We should get out of here"
"We?"
"I mean.. you navy guys are somewhat fond of hanging and killing innocent people.."
"Innocent? You?"
"And quite frankly.. a noose doesn't look good on me.. so.. we have to escape"
"Again with the WE part.. what do you mean we?"
"So.. I figured.. if you distracted the guard.. I can get his keys.. and we can get out of here"
"I distract the guard.. excuse me? Let's pretend I actually agree with this so-called plan of yours.. why do I have to distract the guard? Why not you? All you have to do is take your dress off and you're home free"
"Right.. so that's settled then.. I'll call the guard.. and you'll striptease for him.. drawing his attention away from me"

James falls silent
"You haven't been listening to a single thing I've said have you?"
"Well.. no.. GUARD! GUARD! COME QUICKLY!"
"No wait!"
A faint muttering can be heard and the heavy wooden door at the top of the stairs swings open.
A very big, very ugly, very strong looking, very not intelligent looking bulk of a man appears, stomping his way down the stairs and working his way to our cells.
"Whaddaya want?" a foul stench spreads in the air when he speaks.
Fanning my hand in front of his face while pinching my nose closed with the other I look the man up and down.
"Whew.. you could use a breath mint mate"
"Shut your pie hole woman!"
"Pie hole? You've got pie?"
"Shut up I told ye!"
"Well.. nobody tells me to shut up!"
"If you don't hold your big mouth shut I'll come in and make sure it'll stay shut!"
The man grips an iron bar and twists it into a loop, apparently for showing off.
"You big brute! Trying to scare me with that ey? Well it worked! So stay away from me or I'll scream!"
"I'll stay away if you will just shut up!"
"Stop shouting at me!"

Norrington is following this whole conversation with a very confused look on his face, but after a little while he finally gets the idea. With the tip of his tongue sticking out of his mouth he's trying to fish the keys out of the guards pants. A rather gruesome task..

"Stop telling me what to do! You're the prisoner here!"
"Well.. technically yes.. but that's all your fault!"
"My fault? You cursing, stupid, manipulating wench!"
"And again with the name calling! You're so hurting my feelings you know that?"
"That's it! I've had it! I'm coming in, and I'm going to hurt a lot more than just your stinking feelings!"

Eep! No!
"No no no no no no.. Shutting up here.. really.. I mean it.. stay away from me!"
The big bulk is grabbing his keys, just before Norrie can reach them, opens the door and storms into my cell.
"Get your sorry excuse for a behind over here!"
I press my back against the far end of the cell, cowering like the girly coward I am
"Are you nuts? I'm not just walking into your arms! What do you take me for? Suicidal?'"
He growls and lunges for me. Luckily for me, I manage to duck and roll away from his arms.. yeah.. try doing that in those tiny little cells.. -smirk-
"Stand still!"
"No! You stand still!"
Again the big.. hump of talking flesh.. guy.. tries to grab me.. and he succeeds in grabbing the hem of my shirt just as I dive between his legs. Result: me lying on my stomach in that disgusting cell, between the legs of Chubby standing over me, holding on to my shirt..
Yes.. very nightmare-ish.
I scream and kick my legs, while turning around and trying to hit him somewhere vital. After a few seconds of screaming and kicking it finally dawns on me that I should bring my knee up into some extremely vital parts of his body.
With all my strength I thrust both my knees up into his groin.. the man suddenly stops moving and releases my shirt. Panting heavily I scramble backwards out of the cell, watching the guy at all times. With a satisfying grunt he drops down on his knees, his eyes watering.. and finally he drops head first on the floor.. passed out.

"You did it! Now.. get his keys.. and let me out of here"
I glare at James, before crawling back in the cell again to retrieve the keys. Ow.. right.. I can stand now.. danger is over. I get back on my feet and stare at the big, mean, man guy. With a final kick against his shin I walk out of the cell, no longer mine, and lock the door.
"That's where a filthy.. filthy.. erhm.. person like you.. belongs!" I snap at the unconscious guard. Did anyone notice that I still didn't figure out how to curse properly?
"Great job Miss Lona!"

I stare at the keys, playing with them, thinking.
"Great job huh? Not thanks to you"
"Well.. no.. but.. I did try!"
"That.. that.. thing could've killed me!"
"Yes.. well.. he wouldn't be the only who'd love trying"
"I could just leave you there!"
"You wouldn't dare!"
"Are you calling me bluff?"

He sighs.. and seems a little bit frustrated.
"No I'm not.. I'm sorry for everything I said.. now.. let me out!"
"Say pretty please?"
"JUST LET ME OUT OF THIS RATHOLE!"
"Ok, ok.. sjees.. some people just don't have a sense of humour"
With some difficulty I turn the key and set Norrie free.

Jasper's POV

So.. this is Port wussname. What am I doing here? Apart from saving my girlfriend I mean. I have never even seen the movie.. I can't even remember the name of this freaking place!
"Come on lad.. no time to waste".. and Jack's being ever so annoying by constantly reminding me of the fact that I've got absolutely not the slightest idea about what's going on..
"Where are we going?"
"The pub!"
"The pub? Jack! You're not getting yourself drunk at a time like this!"
"Drunk? Nah.. information mate.. that's what we need.. but I wouldn't say No to a fine mug of rum.."
"Well.. in that case.. you get the information.. and I'll say no to the mug for you"
Jack mutters something under his breath and drags me into some café of sorts. Inside everything looks dark, and crowded.

We sit down at a table, and Jack glances around, trying to look inconspicuous.
"Keep a sharp eye" he mumbles to me
"Ok.. And what am I looking for exactly?"
"Anything out of the ordinary"
Oh boy.. that shouldn't be hard

"Jack.. I come from the 21st century.. about everything looks out of the ordinary to me!"
"Oh.. right.. I forgot.. In that case.. Waitress!"
A young woman walks to our table, dirty blond hair tied back in a sloppy ponytail.
"Wha' can I get ye?" she snarls, showing chocolate brown teeth.
Jack flashes a grin
"Tell me luv.. is old Palsley still around?"
She shrugs
"He's out an' about yeah, sittin' in tha' there corner"
Jack's grin has become wider
"Give him a mug of rum luv.. and give him the compliments of Captain Jack Sparrow.. ask him if he'd be so kind to join me and my friend here"

The waitress nods and walks away..

"And now what?"
Jack kicks his feet up and relaxes in his chair.
"Now lad.. we wait.."

Yay.. chapter finished! Hopefully I'll be able to update again tomorrow.. this is about the only story I can write on.. since the other one totally ran into a block.. grrr…