A/N: The Prome happens. Lots of things happen. Hope you enjoy!
There was a lock of hair that would stop falling in front of Tori's right eye. She didn't want to pin it back as she usually preferred having her hair draped around her face. Plus, this stubborn lock of hair might actually be a good source of distraction from the rest of the night. She ran her palms over her hips as she checked the frame of her body in her deep blue gown, still recovering from the intensely uncomfortable stillness of having her mom do her eye makeup. She did especially love her dress, Cat helped her pick one out even though the rest of the friend group already knew what they were wearing. Tori was content with the simplicity of the design, a V neck cut not too low, but lower than her usual choice. Her back was exposed with two pieces of fabric meeting in the center to tie a nice bow below her shoulder blades. Her dangly silver earrings brought a slight elegance to the look, complete with a matching silver necklace with a few diamonds that Holly had worn to one of her school dances.
"You look beautiful, honey," Holly complimented softly from the doorway. She had been holding back tears the entire evening, but she couldn't let it all spill out now. "Are you ready?"
Tori stared into her own eyes in the mirror before nodding slightly in response. "I guess," she sighed and turned to her mom. "I don't think I've ever been this horrified in my life."
"Mmm, I beg to differ," Holly beamed and lightly guided Tori out of her bedroom with her hand pressed against her daughter's back.
David stayed out of the way for the preparations, knowing all of the girls in the household preferred having their privacy while getting ready with hair and make-up. Tori slowly walked down the stairs, realizing at that moment that she would definitely avoid stairs for the rest of the night with the straps of the heels digging into the back of her ankles. Her dad heard the heels clicking against the stairs, and held his breath as he stood from the couch and turned around to see his daughter.
She broke at the same time he did. David wasn't one to cry easily, but he was always a sucker for witnessing his daughters' significant and sentimental life moments. Tori held her tears inside as she wrapped her arms around him, wishing that the makeup her mom had done wouldn't smudge or run from crying.
"You're beautiful, Tori," he whispered as he pulled away. He brought one hand up to her cheek and remembered how the same gesture felt while she was sleeping in a hospital bed just a few weeks ago.
"Thanks, Dad," she spoke softly back, dabbing the corners of her eyes with her fingers. "God, it's not like I'm getting married. You are both so emotional!"
They both laughed as Holly moved next to her husband. "Can you blame us?"
"No. I get it. God, I'm so nervous to perform."
"You're going to be great. I promise," Holly insisted while grabbing her purse from the couch. "We gotta get going! Got everything?"
Tori pawed through her purse for the third and final time, confirming she had everything she needed. "Yup," she sighed heavily and followed her parents out the door.
David opened the door to his car for Tori, still holding back tears. It was a horribly cheesy gesture, but she was much appreciative of his steady hand helping her step up into his large truck, those damn heels of hers.
The sun was golden and blinding as they headed to a park that had become the popular spot for prom pictures. It was a scenic rose garden with large trellises and water fountains, making for the perfect spot to take some of the most potentially dreadful pictures of your entire life.
Today, 5:27 PM
Cat: where are you guys?! it's just me and Robbie and it's really awkward
Robbie: I'm on this group chat too, you know!
Cat: I know, but it's still awkward…
Beck: Omw, sorry my mom needed approximately 528 pictures at our house, too.
Tori: also on my way!
Jade: Cat, turn around.
Tori chuckled quietly in the backseat, picturing Jade sneaking up behind Cat to scare the life out of her.
Cat: omg please help I'm being attacked!
Andre: I'm almost there. Jade, don't kill Cat
Jade: No promises.
Tori: feel free to kill me though!
Jade: Okay, only after you perform tonight.
Tori's stomach flipped as she adjusted her posture. "I can't do this," she whispered loud enough to prompt an inspirational speech from her mom.
"You won't even be nervous once the song starts, you had so much fun at karaoke the other night. No reason to worry! Everyone's going to be cheering you on and this is your senior prom, let yourself have some fun!"
"She's right, you're naturally talented at singing and everyone knows it. Even if you were 'bad' you'd still be great, so don't sweat it, kid."
It was getting almost frustrating to hear everyone's words of praise when only two other people on the entire planet knew the true reason why Tori was nervous. Performing isn't terrifying, the song she will perform is terrifying. "I know, I know."
"We're almost there, this place is beautiful. I bet by the time you take some pictures with your friends you'll be relaxed and start getting excited about it! You're going to be amazing."
David nodded in agreement and eyed Tori in the rearview mirror. "Who's videotaping this by the way? We need a copy."
"Uh, I think Sinjin does all that stuff. Hollywood Arts has every performance ever recorded, so don't worry," Tori's voice was even shaking now, though her trembling hands couldn't be controlled. Her eyes focused on her bouncing knee as she reminded herself of that basic breathing technique her therapist mentioned weeks ago for grounding. She wasn't sure if it actually worked, but if it kept her from vomiting all over her dress she didn't mind counting her breaths in her head.
They parked, David helped Tori out of the car, and every step toward the center of the park where the large gazebo was intense labor. She kept her eyes on her feet mostly, making sure she wasn't tripping over her dress or rolling her ankle on a misplaced step in her heels. She had seen her friends from afar, two of them in suits, two in dresses. Andre wasn't there yet, so at least she could maybe forget about the song for a few minutes.
Four friends paused their conversation about graduating when Tori approached them. Jade caught one glance of her and immediately choked up and had to look away to keep composure. She looked perfect, absolutely mesmerizing in every way possible from head to toe, and it sure was going to be a long and painful night for her.
Cat ran ahead and scurried to Tori and threw her arms around her. Tori welcomed the hug and had already felt some tension fade away. She thought yet again about how something as normal and expected as a prom night was now an incredibly emotional situation for her friends.
"You are so pretty! I love your eye makeup," Cat commented, drawing a proud grin from Holly. She grabbed Tori's hand and pulled her to the friend group, leaving Tori's parents behind.
"Let her go," David whispered to Holly, noticing his wife's foot had already stepped forward.
She caught herself and readjusted next to him while clearing her throat. "Sorry."
"You're alright," he spoke softly. He caught the eyes of Beck's folks, waving from a nearby bench. "Are you ready to be bombarded with difficult questions from Tori's friend's parents?"
Holly sighed and glanced up at David with her lips pressed together. "I guess I don't have a choice, do I?"
"We could make a run for it," his serious expression faltered to a smirk before Holly hit his arm.
"Don't be stupid," she whispered before turning back to the Olivers. "Hey there!"
Tori snapped her head around thinking her mom was calling for her but soon found her and Beck's parents approaching each other. Oh God, that's weird. "You guys all look amazing," she offered with a smile. Even Robbie looked cleaned up, his hair the neatest she had ever seen it. Cat's dress was lavender and incredibly sparkly, and the dress color complimented her hair color incredibly well. Her lighter-colored eye makeup made her eyes appear even bigger than they already were.
And Jade, well… There weren't enough words in existence for Tori to describe just how beautiful Jade is. Her black lace dress with sleeves was perfect, her loosely curled and purple ombré hair was perfect, her eyeliner and eyeshadow were perfect, her deep red lips were perfect, there wasn't a time where Tori didn't think Jade looked perfect.
"You do too! Oh look, here comes Andre," Jade pointed in the direction of the approaching friend.
He was speed walking toward them, out of breath and exasperated. "Sorry, sorry. I know we're on a schedule."
"Relax dude, you alright?" Beck gave a concerned look to Andre.
"Yeah, I had to speed walk here," he panted and held his hand to his chest.
"What? Why didn't you call one of us?" Robbie asked while pushing his glasses up.
"There was an accident, really bad traffic. I just got out of the cab and walked instead, it would have been way longer of a wait if I stayed in the car.
"Alright, let's not talk about that anymore," Jade snapped as she brushed her hands down her arms.
"Sure, that's a good idea," Beck replied simply, hoping it would buffer the rising tension.
"So, who's got a camera? The quicker I can get through the night, the better," Tori laughed nervously as her eyes wandered back to Jade's face. Her stunning eyes and skin, her taunting lips.
"I do," Beck chimed in. He turned back to his dad who had extensive training in knowing how to capture the best moments. "Hey dad, we're ready!"
Tori eyed her mom who gave her a reassuring nod and smile. Her daughter's nervous body language was obvious, but the less Holly drew attention to it, she knew Tori would slip out of it in no time."
"Alright, who's up first? Pairs or group photos?"
"Group photos! Then we can be as weird as we want to," Robbie rubbed his hands together eagerly and made his way toward Cat. If they were standing next to each other, and Andre and Beck were best friends and already next to each other, then…
"Well hi there, partner!" Jade linked her arm with Tori's. "How d'ye do?"
God, even with that weird voice she's still attractive. "You're weird."
" You're weird," Jade shot back through a scoff. Though the strange charade faded out, Jade's arm stayed linked around Tori's. The brunette's heart erupted, and as she got ready to smile, she realized she could hardly move her face.
"Tori, what is that face?" David laughed, causing his daughter to immediately blush.
"Dad, shut up!" She whined, throwing her head back with a grunt. "Okay, okay, okay."
Jade giggled at Tori's frustration and turned her shoulder to the desired position. The group was not uniform in their posture whatsoever; Andre and Beck stood with their hands in their pockets, an apathetic smolder on their faces. Robbie had his arm around Cat, who had one of her legs propped out behind her as she was the last one in the row.
Beck's dad peeked out from behind his camera. "This isn't organized at all. Don't be a bunch of weirdos, get your arms around each other's shoulders or something!"
"But then I can't tilt my body to get the perfect angle for my good side!" Jade's aggressive voice could probably be heard clearly all the way to the perimeter of the park. Holly jolted at the sudden outburst from the raging girl.
Tori scoffed and rolled her eyes. "Shut up, you're beautiful."
Jade's anger went out like a light as her heartbeat slowed down. Tori's arm went around her shoulder hesitantly. Tori had hugged Jade before, but the sensation of her skin against Jade's warm body was sending Tori's mind to places it had no place being in at the moment.
"Alright, that's better. One, two, three… Alright, don't move! Let me get a few more."
Robbie yelped as the flashing camera continued. "I think a bug just flew up my nose!"
Andre burst into laughter, naturally causing the rest of the group to laugh. Even Tori had finally looked relaxed. A beautiful candid moment was captured of an expectedly unfortunate thing happening to Robbie at an extremely inconvenient time.
"Maybe on second thought, we should have the order be boy and girl every other?" Beck's dad suggested, turning to Tori's parents who nodded their heads in agreement. Tori blushed, knowing she had purposefully positioned herself this way. She awkwardly scuttled to move between Andre and Beck and held her arms behind their backs. Her smile was a bit more reserved at this point, feeling tense next to Beck in this scenario.
Mr. Oliver took several pictures before moving on. "Alright, now any duo or trio photos?"
"Oh, oh, get some of the three girls!" Holly waved her hand excitedly. Tori groaned at her mother's eagerness, feeling embarrassed as Jade cleared her throat and tossed her hair to the side.
"Agreed," Beck's dad crouched down. "Let's put Cat in the middle…"
Of course, why wouldn't you keep splitting Jade and me apart?
A few flashes and awkward poses later, the boys jumped in the frame. Tori couldn't resist brushing her hands down her arms at the thought of performing later tonight. Every waking moment was a reminder that Tori was putting her heart out on the line tonight for someone who wouldn't even notice it.
"Alright," Beck's dad sighed upon standing up straight again and flipping through the pictures he had taken so far. "What else do you guys want to get?"
"Let's take some candids!"
Jade groaned obnoxiously. "That's so cheesy, Cat-"
"But they're natural!"
Tori would normally defend Cat in this situation but was preoccupied with attempting to swallow the lump in her throat.
"Fine," Jade grumbled. "Let's go on the swinging bench."
"Won't we look crouched over and awkward on that?" Cat whispered, poorly hiding her criticism of Jade's idea.
"They're candids, they're natural!" Jade mocked Cat's voice with a harsh tone.
"Alright, alright. How about we go over to the trellis and I can get shots of you girls walking through and talking about something and laughing?"
Holly gasped in awe. "Do you do this for a living?"
Beck's dad chuckled. "No, but it's become my part-time job through raising three kids in fine arts."
"Ah, fair. I hardly have a steady enough hand to hold a camcorder," David laughed and stuffed his hands in his pockets.
"Are you as embarrassed as I am?" Beck whispered to Tori.
"Probably even more so," Tori admitted while keeping her eyes on her feet.
The three girls lined up at the far end of the trellis, beginning to walk toward the camera slowly. None of them could think of something funny to say to spark up some laughter, until Cat saw a spider on the sidewalk, tripped over her own feet, and nearly collapsed to the pavement in horror. Jade had managed to catch Cat by her arms, and Tori ran ahead to avoid the spider. Andre ran into the shot to squash the bug, making for some really odd candids of a genuine moment of panic and dysfunction.
"Why did you kill it?! I wanted to pick it up!" Jade narrowed her eyes on Andre.
"Why would you want to pick up a spider?!" Tori challenged, throwing her arms at her side.
"They're cute, they don't hurt anyone," Jade's voice softened, sorrow coating her tone. "Poor little guy."
"Alright, umm… well, want to try this again?" Beck's dad sighed impatiently, cueing a smirk from Tori's parents.
"No," they all groaned in unison.
"We just want to get there, let's finish up the group photos and leave," Beck suggested lightly to his dad."
"Okay. Well, I think we should get a shot of everyone with Tori, and any other duo photos we might want. Actually, this would be a great spot to shoot them. Lots of sunlight, but not too blinding-"
"Yeah, yeah, let's just get it done and over with," Jade clapped her hands together and stood to the side out of the shot.
"I'll just… stand here," Tori laughed nervously, placing herself in the middle of the sidewalk.
"Me first!" Cat jumped in the frame with her, immediately wrapping her arm around Tori's waist. Tori let her own arm fall around Cat's shoulders after fixing her hair. After a few photos, Robbie jumped in. Tori felt awkward taking a photo with him, it felt so forced. However, she figured she would regret it if she didn't. Then Beck joined Tori at her side, which was even worse. Her arm practically hovered over his back she was so resentful about being too close to him for too long.
Her photo with Andre was comfortable, and one of her favorite moments of the photo shoot so far. He didn't hesitate to hold her hand, his fingers intertwined with hers securely as he put on his contagious smile. She felt strong next to him no matter what the scenario was.
"Ugh, do I have to?" Jade grumbled once Andre stepped out of the frame.
"Get your ass over here," Tori hissed through her teeth.
"Tori," Holly warned her daughter.
The brunette glared back at her mom. "Sorry. Get your butt over here. Please," Tori's voice dripped with as much sarcasm as Jade's original complaint.
Jade's arm around Tori's waist made her knees go weak. Tori wondered if Jade noticed it, or at least that Tori had to reposition herself just to buckle her knees to stay steady. God, I feel like such an absolute creep right now. Tori could only imagine how miraculous the other looked with her radiant smile and glowing skin. A picture would never do justice to witnessing Jade's natural beauty in person.
"Alright, perfect! Any other takers?"
Tori finally had a chance to escape the lens for a few minutes, watching the rest of her friends jump in pairs to finish up. She moved to stand beside her mother who squeezed Tori's waist. "Having fun?"
"Kind of."
"Still nervous?"
"Horribly."
"It's going to be great," Holly rubbed Tori's arm while squeezing her daughter to her side. Tori gazed back to her friend group, rolling her eyes at Andre and Beck's cringey prom picture poses. She would never understand that bromance, but she figured Andre got along with pretty much everyone.
Eventually, the pictures wrapped up and a surprise limousine arrived at the entrance of the park. Tori's jaw dropped at the surprise, she had been in one before when she was a little girl for one of her relative's weddings, but this was highly unexpected and a bit overboard.
"Who got the limo?!" Robbie turned to Beck's parents, but they shook their heads.
"Surprise!" Holly threw her hands in the air. "We've been planning to do this for years."
"Wow," Tori laughed and scoffed in shock. "Did you get a limo for Trina's senior prom?"
David grimaced and shot a nervous glance toward Holly, whose positive expression turned into a glare. "No. She didn't deserve it after begging for the insanely expensive car we bought for her just for her to decide to go to New York City."
"That makes sense," Andre nodded and clapped his hands together. "C'mon, let's go!"
Tori gave one last worried look to her parents who waved her on and gave her final words of encouragement. She turned back around to face a limousine, and Jade was still held back a few feet away from Tori. Her eyes were warm, her smile expectedly blinding.
"Right this way, partner!"
"Please stop with the country girl thing, you're freaking me out."
Holly beamed as she watched Tori walk to the limo with her crush. She wondered if the two oblivious dorks would ever figure it out.
If they weren't outdoors, Tori would have been a true wallflower. Being outside at the Asphalt Cafe, there was no true form of hiding.
Cat was like the Energizer Bunny, she hadn't stepped a foot off the dancefloor until the friend group had arrived. Beck was a social butterfly with several girls but didn't spend much time actually enjoying the food or music or dancing. Robbie was clinging to Cat a bit, but in shopping for Tori's dress, Cat had shared the memory of Robbie kissing her at last year's prom. Tori was content sitting alone at a table and watching the redhead and lanky nerd, waiting if he would pull any moves again.
"You're not gonna dance?" A familiar voice sounded from behind her.
Beck smiled when Tori turned around and their eyes met. She sighed and turned back around to face the crowd. "I don't know how."
"Eh, not everyone does. Doesn't matter as long as you're having fun."
"I am having fun," Tori perked up in an attempt to sell her blatant lie. "I just don't like crowds."
He raised an eyebrow at her. "Alright. Well, have you been on the dance floor at all yet?"
"No. I'm waiting to hear when I go on to sing," Tori's leg starting bouncing again at the thought of it. Beck took a deep breath and reminded himself to have patience.
"Alright, I won't push you. Want me to go ask Andre about that for you? He's probably setting up some equipment."
Oh great, already. I want to ditch so bad. "Sure, thanks," Tori muttered, noticing all of the lights blurring as tears began to fill her eyes. As Beck left the table, she shook her head and dabbed the tears away.
On cue, Cat appeared in front of Tori, running so fast toward her that she almost crashed into the brunette.
"Tori! Why aren't you dancing with me?"
"I'm so nervous. I feel like I could throw up so I don't really want to dance."
The redhead frowned. "Oh no! Do you want me to see if they have ginger ale?"
Tori offered a half-hearted smile. "That would be nice, thanks Cat."
"No problem!" She had already thrown her arms in the air to dance while walking away. It prompted a bit of laughter out of Tori as she reached for her phone in her purse. It was almost 7:15, and the music was supposedly starting at 7:30. If Andre makes me sing first I swear to God-"
"What did one triangle say to another?" Jade's soft voice sounded in Tori's ear, making her nearly fall off the bench of the table in surprise.
"Oh, God! Jade, don't creep up on me like that!"
"You didn't answer my question," her voice was sly as she sat down next to Tori. The brunette scowled and tried to outsmart the other and come up with the correct punchline.
"Uhhh… something about being hot and 180 degrees? I don't know," Tori was so flustered with how close Jade had sat next to her that she couldn't imagine a possible answer that made sense.
"No. It said, 'Hey, we should get together and square dance!'" Jade responded with her sweet southern accent while standing up again and holding her hand out to Tori.
Tori couldn't help but laugh. "I don't know how to square dance."
"Me neither, I just know how to do a jazz square," Jade declared with a finger in the air. Her feet started in a four-step cycle, outlining a square. It was something Tori recognized from early childhood theatre. Her eyes lifted to Jade's face again, horrified by the absolutely cheesy grin from the edgy girl.
"What's got you so happy? I thought you didn't like proms."
"This is the last one I'll ever have though. I don't have a choice other than to give in to the upbeat energy," her feet ceased from a jazz square. "Are you okay?"
Cat appeared with a ginger ale, carefully carrying the plastic cup that was full to the brim.
"Oh my God! Cat, why did you get so much?" Tori asked worriedly, reaching her hands out steadily to take the cup from Cat. She awkwardly sipped from the edge to reduce the risk of spilling it on herself.
"I don't know, I thought you might need a lot! Just didn't want to get too little."
"Well, thank you," Tori took a few sips. Jade's heart ached at Tori's obvious anxiety, believing with every bone in her body that whatever Tori's performance would bring tonight, it would be incredible.
Beck appeared behind Tori, a serious stare on his face. "Tori, they're getting ready to play and you're up in five minutes."
"What?!" She shrieked, immediately bringing the cup back up to her lips.
"He said he didn't want to tell you what time you were going on until the last minute, so you wouldn't worry as much," Beck hesitated as he saw rage flare-up in Tori.
"That son of a bitch-" Tori slammed her hand down on the table crushing the cup with ginger ale in it, luckily not getting on her clothes or anyone else's. Cat shrieked at the sudden burst of rage as she clung to Jade's arm. Beck squinted and looked at the two girls who were left in shock.
"Well, now I feel bad," Beck sighed and let his hands fall to his sides in defeat.
Jade shrugged Cat off her shoulder. "She'll be okay. That was kinda hot, too."
"What? Her angry and storming off?" Beck questioned with squinting eyes.
Jade smirked and folded her arms. "Yeah."
He shook his head before walking away.
Jade rolled her eyes at Beck's obvious jealousy. Before she knew it, Cat grabbed her by the arm and dragged her to the dance floor.
Tori regretted that she couldn't stomp up the stairs to exert her anger, but that wasn't an option with the heels she was currently wearing. Once she arrived at the top of the platform above the cafe, Andre greeted her with a large smile and open arms. "There you are!"
" Don't say ' there you are' all chill when you could have WARNED ME about what time we were going on! I would have rather known hours ago! Or weeks ago! Or anything but sixty seconds ago!"
"Tori, I just didn't want to mega stress you out for longer than a few minutes. I know you, you would have agonized for a long time before tonight."
"I have already been agonizing! What difference does it make?!"
"Okay, okay," he brought his hands carefully to her shoulders. Once his touch made her voice silent, he continued. "I'm sorry. I'll give you more warning next time. I'm sorry I did the wrong thing."
"I can't do this, Andre! I can't even look off the edge of the stage to see how many people are down there!"
He smiled and gazed into Tori's eyes. "Why not? They're all rooting for you."
"It freaks me out!"
"It'll freak you out more if you don't look until you start singing."
Tori pressed her lips together, her rage suddenly turning into intense anxiety again. Her throat went dry when she finally turned her head to look onto the dancefloor. It was smaller of a crowd than she expected, or it just looked smaller from up here.
"Oh, okay. That's not horrible."
"See?! You're going to be great. Please trust it from your friend who has been performing with you for years. You've never given a bad performance," he assured while fiddling with his guitar a bit.
"Yeah, that was before I got hit by a-"
"You are still you, and we have rehearsed this song several times-"
"Two minutes, guys!" The drummer's voice cut Andre's off. He looked back at his friend, and Tori stared back at him with teary eyes.
"I guess I can't get out of this now," she finally surrendered to the situation, knowing her parents were relying on a recording of it. She wouldn't want to disappoint them, or Andre, or any of her friends who had been cheering her on excessively through her very nervous energy in the days leading up to prom.
"Nope, you can't. Just remember how fun Karaoke Dokie was. This is hardly a step above that."
Newfound courage was rising in Tori. Though her hands still trembled, she knew she had two options: fight or flight. She was a fighter, she had always been a fighter. She closed her eyes and focused on her grounding techniques. In for four, out for seven.
Five things I can see. Tori paused her process to slowly open her eyes. Shoes, railing, string lights, food truck, Cat jumping up and down in the crowd. Her eyes closed again.
Four things I can feel. My heartbeat, my feet sweating in my heels, cold sweat all over my body, and the cool breeze blowing through my hair.
Three things I can hear. The mic check, the voices of people below, and Kesha playing through the monitors.
Two things I can smell. Andre's cologne, my hairspray.
One thing I can taste. Ginger ale.
In for four, out for seven. No one is out to hurt you.
In for four, out for seven. You are safe, and you are around people who love you.
In for four, out for seven. You are talented and allowed to have confidence.
Tori's eyes opened at the sound of Andre calling her name. "Are you ready?"
She nodded, finally feeling some composure. "I'm ready."
He smiled, almost feeling his own tears begin to well. "Let's do this!"
Jade, Cat, Robbie, and Beck had joined together on the dancefloor to await the highly anticipated performance. Cat gasped once she heard Andre's voice through the microphone.
"Welcome to the 2013 Hollywood Arts Proooooome!"
"PROOOOOOOOME!" The crowd howled back before Andre continued. Tori laughed in amazement at the volume of the sea of voices. In the back of her mind, she repeated over and over again: Don't look at Jade.
"This is a very special night for a few reasons. This is the third annual HA Prome, all thanks to Miss Tori Vega!"
The crowd roared even louder than when they had echoed Andre's initial announcement, truly moving Tori to emotions she wasn't aware existed. Holy shit, they weren't kidding when they said everyone supported me.
"And what's extra special is we thought that it was only fitting to have her perform first. She will be debuting a brand new song, you are all going to adore it," Andre beamed at Tori while pulling the mic away from his face. "Would you like to say a few words?" He offered.
She remembered how different it was performing at Karaoke Dokie; every sound system and venue would color a singer's voice differently. If I did, then I could at least hear what my voice sounds like at this location. "Sure."
Once the microphone was in her hands, Tori's negative internal dialogue faded out in an instant. Pressure's on, now. Do it for mom and dad.
"Hi everyone," she spoke unenthusiastically into the microphone. As she heard her voice echoing back to the stage, the crowd roared again with encouragement. It was overwhelming, but it was the very least she deserved after all of the work she had put into her time at Hollywood Arts. "Wow, okay. You guys are awesome," she scratched her head awkwardly as the crowd finally began to die down. "So um, I wrote this song before the accident. As he said, I'm debuting it, and um… It's the only song I have learned, you know, lately, that I haven't performed yet. So, um. I guess that's it... here it goes," Tori exhaled away from the microphone, turning to Andre for confirmation that she had done a sufficient job. He gave her a concerned look with wide eyes and a head tilt. "Tell them the title of the song!"
"OH!" Tori brought the microphone back to her face, yet again amplifying her voice. "The song is called 'Fever.'"
Tori placed the microphone back into the stand and closed her eyes to do a few deep breaths. Once she was ready, she turned to Andre for one last anchoring look of reassurance. His eyes were still locked on her as he began to play his keyboard.
She closed her eyes to begin, letting the sound of the piano swallow her as the rest of the world faded away for just a few moments.
"I would've never predicted this
I've never been happier to be wrong
You tried to tell me to give it up
But I've known what you needed all along"
Tori opened her eyes and fixed them on the buildings across the street from the Asphalt Cafe. No one is below, no one is going to be mean to you. Everyone is supporting you. You've practiced this a ton, you're ready. Though she had felt ready before the music started, there was no escaping now. She was slightly discouraged that the negative thoughts had come back, but as long as she was reassuring herself, her voice continued unaffected.
"You try to hide from everyone
But I've seen you without your armor
I've watched you grow and screamed your name at every show
Maybe it's time you know"
The sound of the music was building as Cat grabbed Jade's hand in excitement for the chorus. Tori realized at that moment how much pent-up nervous energy needed to be released, so she quickly pulled the microphone off of the stand and walked close to Andre, singing to him just like she had in rehearsals.
"I never felt a fire until you
I'm up in flames and you're the gasoline
You're like a fever, but I can't break it
I can't break the way I burn for you"
Tori was full-fledged dancing in her performance now, bringing shock to every single audience member. It wasn't a secret that Tori had been on the sidelines all night, so this sudden burst of energy was a pleasant surprise. Jade's heart glowed upon seeing Tori finally smile upon getting through the first chorus. She could tell the other was unbearably nervous, her tone a bit more held back than usual, but not any less powerful than usual. She had a natural grit to her tone no matter what style she was singing, something that had always made Jade weak in the knees. Cat was desperately trying to get Jade to dance with her, but Jade was entirely enthralled with Tori's vulnerable performance and how beautiful she was under the lights.
"I keep hearing your voice
In my head when I go to sleep
And I'm still holding on
All your words are mine to keep"
Without realizing it, Tori's eyes found Jade and couldn't look away upon making eye contact with her. Looking into Jade's eyes wasn't a simple action, it caused a hurricane of emotions and desire in Tori and it always seemed impossible to look away. The warm smile on Jade's face was infectious, and Tori was not expecting this connection to bring relief. It was liberating to experience the feeling of truly singing this to Jade, even if she would never know it was about her.
"You tell me how I'm crazy
This time, I think you're right
Why's the one that makes me mad
The same one who keeps me up at night"
Jade let out a scream in encouragement of Tori's belting in her higher register. The chorus began again, and Tori's usual energetic movements finally seeped into her performance. Andre caught a quick glance at Jade, who had yet to realize exactly who Tori was singing to. The performer had noticed how excited Jade responded to the last verse, allowing a new streak of confidence to surge through her and inspire a strong belt from Tori.
"I never felt a fire until you
I'm up in flames and you're the gasoline
You're like a fever, but I can't break it
I can't break the way I burn for you"
During a small instrumental break, Tori kept herself moving while fixing her hair. The entire school was jumping now, and Andre's synth solo ripped through the lot like a siren. Jade finally had let herself go and pulled her attention off the stage to dance with her friends, knowing Tori would have a short break. She spun Cat in a circle and laughed in pure joy. I will never forget this moment for as long as I live. My friends around, and Tori performing her best song yet. I haven't been this happy in years.
Although the song was almost through, Tori suddenly felt like she was suffocating. Maybe it was a combination of nerves, energy, exhaustion, or she was dissociating again. As she detected her anxiety surfacing, her eyes fixed back on the buildings behind the Asphalt Cafe. The instrumental died back down, and she prepared herself to sing the delicate bridge.
"If it were up to me
You'd feel anything but temporary…"
Jade's head lifted up toward the girl on the raised stage, who suddenly couldn't acknowledge her audience the same way she had before. Did she just… say what I think she said?
Tori glanced at Andre with doubt regarding the upcoming high note she would have to belt and sustain for a long period of time. He continued to nod his head to the beat, doing his best to keep his encouraging nature about him.
"If it were up to me
You'd feel anything but temporary…"
The world seemed to halt around her as Jade's eyes darted around in disbelief at Tori's lyrics That night in late August, camping with Tori and Cat, staying up late talking to Tori about life and being an emotional sap, admitting to the fear or being temporary, it all came flooding back to Jade in the blink of an eye. "Oh, my God."
"What?" Cat asked while still bouncing up and down.
Jade was at a loss for words, and yet she wanted to scream at the top of her lungs. "This can't be real, this… no-"
"If it were up to me
You'd feel anything but temporary, oh…"
Tori's eyes squeezed shut as she crouched while belting out that high note, drawing screams from just about everybody in the crowd. It was the most thrilling experience to hear in the background from on stage as Tori had finally achieved total confidence in performance since the hardest parts had been a success.
"I never felt a fire until you
I'm up in flames and you're the gasoline…"
It was impossible for Jade to breathe, but even harder to let herself cry. Cat and the others were too into the song to even realize how idle Jade had become, but even Tori noticed the way Jade stopped moving completely and looked toward the stage with wide eyes.
Fuck. She knows something. No, there's no way. She can't know. Maybe she's just shocked at that one high note. Yeah, that's it. She blew through the rest of the song, attempting to numb her mind completely until it was finally over with.
"You're like a fever, but I can't break it
I can't break the way I burn for you
I can't break the way I burn for you
Oh, I can't break the way I burn for you"
As soon as the crowd roared, Andre ran over to Tori and crashed into her for a hug. The cheers from the audience finally relieved Tori of her self-doubt. Holy shit, I just did that. And it's over, I can crawl back in my hole. The crowd began chanting her name repeatedly causing her to hide her face with her hands and laugh nervously as she turned to Andre.
"Holy shit, that was amazing but I thought I was gonna die."
"But you didn't! You did it and you were so amazing!" He wrapped his arms around Tori again, and from behind his friend, Jade emerged at the top of the stairs to the platform. Cat wasn't far behind and smashed into Tori the same way Andre did.
"You were so good! That song was amazing! Ahhh, Tori!"
"Thank you, thank you so much!" Tori's eyes found Jade standing close by, unsure of exactly what emotion was drawn out on the other's face. Jade crossed her arms upon the eye contact and smiled shyly at the other.
Cat pulled away and proceeded to hug Andre. Jade slowly approached Tori, her eyes finding the brunette's feet then flickering back up to her face. Her beautiful defined cheekbones, her hypnotizing deep brown eyes, and the cutest nose Jade had ever seen in her life.
"You were incredible," Jade said after what seemed like forever.
Incredible. "You really like calling me that word, don't you?" Tori smirked and held her own arm nervously.
"I do. We need to talk somewhere," Jade muttered while shying away from the other's gaze. Tori's immediate panic showed clear as day on her face, causing the other to laugh softly. "Alone," the dark-haired girl concluded.
"Why not here?" Tori spoke up a little louder, very obviously turning back to Andre to bring his attention to the situation. He eyed Jade, who exchanged a brief blank stare with him.
"Because there are people here. I want to be alone with you."
Andre's heart jumped to his throat. He had known Jade for years and immediately recognized the glitter in Jade's eye when she adores somebody. "It's happening!"
Tori's fight or flight kicked in, and while her heart said flight, her feet were stuck in place. She fixed her eyes on Jade's smile, trying to read if it was a devious smile or a genuinely friendly one. Of course, her mind would turn the situation into a negative, even while Andre was already cheering.
"What's happening?" Cat asked with a giggle.
"We're leaving!" Jade lost her cool abruptly, drawing bulging eyes from the other two. This gave Tori another reason to suspect Jade was angry with her. She stood silently in the middle of the group, incredibly confused and awkwardly silent. Andre was too busy keeping his mouth shut to have full awareness of the exchanges and confusion.
"Wait, you're leaving the prome?" The redhead questioned with a deflated tone.
"No, no-" Jade began, but Tori finally jumped in to prevent this conversation from becoming any more dysfunctional.
"We'll be right back," Tori managed through a shaky voice, feeling her hands begin to tremble as she fixed her hair.
Jade looked at Tori again with an awkward smile before turning and sneaking down the stairs.
"It's happening, it's happening," Andre sang a rhythmic improvisation while dancing. Tori followed behind Jade, wondering where she went wrong to have Jade this clearly bothered. Jade's mind raced a mile a minute while she tried to find the right words to say. This was the last thing she expected to happen tonight, or really, ever. But Tori's song was so obviously about her.
"What's going on?" Tori whispered once they had finally pushed through the crowd of people. "Did I do something wrong?"
"No, no. It's just… I need to talk to you about something."
"Does it really have to wait? You're kind of killing me right now, I feel like something I did was-"
"Just, hold on," Jade grunted as she pushed the door open to the school. Her chest ached with every heartbeat, but once she and Tori were finally alone in the main hallway, Jade turned to look at the girl who had just performed an amazing song about her. Before speaking, she had the sudden realization that no one had ever written a song about her. This made her voice crack once she finally began the conversation.
"When did you write that song?"
Fuck. Does she know? "Uh, Andre told me just before the accident?"
"How many days?" Jade pressed a hand to her head while the other froze. Tori couldn't bring herself to reply while fear was suffocating her. Her voice was weaker now, "How many days, Tori?"
Oh, God. She knows. She knows and she feels awkward now, and this is the end of our friendship. "Like… I don't know. A day or two before."
"And did you ever figure out who you wrote it about?"
"No," Tori lied immediately, fighting the urge to sprint toward the door. Jade's sober face faltered into a smug smile. "Why, do you know?"
"I think so," Jade replied with confidence. "You're just full of surprises, aren't you?"
"I don't know what you're talking about," Tori felt tears beginning to well in her eyes. This was too much to hide in front of the last person on Earth who needed to know. Though she made a great effort to escape as fast as she could, Jade leaned forward and grabbed Tori by the arm. The brunette turned around, the look she exchanged with Jade sealed the deal. Yup. She knows.
Tori feared that Jade had a hold of her, still assuming that Jade would start going off on her for having a crush on her. Though Jade hadn't spoken yet, Tori already imagined her screaming words piercing her ears.
"You do know, don't you?"
The brunette couldn't help but cry at this point, mostly relieved that Jade hadn't begun yelling yet. "I don't know."
"Tori, it's about me and I know it."
Tori broke away from Jade's hand and laughed through tears. "Oh my God, don't be ridiculous-"
"It is, you wrote it about me! The bridge… ' If it were up to me, you'd feel anything but temporary,' I talked to you about this in the summer. How I don't want to feel temporary to everybody and you hugged me while I cried, and I wondered even then if you maybe liked me."
Tori fell apart in front of Jade, still unable to own up to something that was incredibly obvious. "Please, Tori. Did you know this before tonight?"
You're already fucked, just tell the truth, you coward.
"Yes, okay?" She threw her arms up in defeat. Jade gasped and brought a hand to her mouth. All this time, you could have been mine. Tori panicked upon seeing Jade about to cry, so words began tumbling out of her mouth to try and soften the confession. "Only for a few days, I asked Andre about it and he finally admitted it's about you. I talked to him about it even before the accident."
"Oh, of course, he knew all this time," Jade laughed, but Tori's face scrunched into a cry again.
"I'm so sorry!" She wept into her hands covering her face.
Jade scowled and refrained from crying. They couldn't both be a wreck through this moment. "Hey, hey. It's okay. What are you sorry for?" Jade stepped forward again, speaking with a soothing tone. "You didn't do anything wrong."
Tori uncovered her face, hoping that her makeup hadn't already smudged. "Wait, what?"
Jade laughed softly as her heart ached over Tori's upset. "I'm not mad at you. Is that why you're crying? You thought I would be mad?"
"Well, yeah! This is so awkward and I only realized a few days ago that I have a crush on you and-"
"Oh, so you still have a crush on me?" Jade's smile grew wide as her hands came together to fidget in distraction. Even while Tori had written the song about Jade before, there was no guarantee that Tori would feel the same way now, or at least that's what Jade assumed.
Tori groaned and threw her hands in the air. "Yeah. Whatever. You know already, it's fine. I'll forget about it though, don't worry," her voice grumbled with staged apathy and frustration
"I don't want you to," Jade said softly as her feet took her closer to Tori.
Tori watched as Jade approached her, but figured it was only because Tori had been slowly backing away this entire conversation. "You don't? Look, if this is fun for you, it's absolutely embarrassing and awful for me, so we can just forget about it and never speak to anyone about-"
Through her rambling, Tori could hardly process the way Jade's hand reached for one of Tori's cheeks. She subtly gasped at the contact, her eyes flickering with even more worry and looking over Jade's skin "What are you doing?" Tori's voice still trembled.
Jade's thumb brushed over Tori's cheek. "I meant to tell you before. I was too scared."
Tori burst into laughter. "No, no no no, no. You don't-"
"Yes, I do like you, Tori. I like you." Though she was laughing at her cliche confession, Jade was now fighting back her own tears again upon witnessing a very obvious wave of hope wash over Tori. The dark-haired girl's hand was still on Tori's cheek, and she didn't want to shy away from it even though she felt as though she was going to explode with overwhelming emotions.
"Oh, okay," Tori replied awkwardly, laughing as soon as she looked away from Jade's gaze. She could feel the other moving closer to her. Tori's heart hammered as Jade's lips were just inches away from her own.
Jade laughed too, but couldn't take her eyes off of the girl she finally opened up to. "You know what people who had a conversation like this would normally do now?"
The brunette's lips trembled as Jade's breath brushed over them. "Um, probably-"
The end of her sentence was muffled as Jade used her other hand to fully caress Tori's face and pull her in for a kiss. Tori jolted at the contact, unsure of where to focus first. Jade's lips were unbelievably soft and warm, exceeding every expectation Tori had for a first kiss with a girl. She melted at the sensation of her own lips grazing over Jade's. Jade herself was electrified by the taste of Tori, something she had been curious about for far too long. For a moment, Jade had forgotten that Tori would remember very little about any kissing experiences she may have had. The slight movement through the quick kiss did, unfortunately, make Tori realize she had no idea how kissing worked, so though her mouth probably hadn't moved at all, she would maybe know where to start next time.
All of the heightened anxiety between the two crumbled to the ground once Jade slowly pulled away and released her hands from Tori's face. Jade's eyes flickered back up to Tori's, who nervously licked her lips and shied away from eye contact.
"What are you thinking?" Jade asked, amused with Tori's obvious flustered state.
Tori immediately blushed, twisting her upper body a bit. "Can we do it again? I wasn't ready."
Jade smirked and closed in on Tori again, this time bringing her hands to Tori's waist. "I've got all night," she muttered while her mouth was already practically on Tori's. The brunette could feel Jade's breath on her lips as she spoke, sending shivers all through her body just to be warmed again by Jade's smooth lips against her own. This time, she could actually acknowledge her senses as Jade's lips tugged a little harder at hers. Still unsure of exactly how to move her own, she surrendered to Jade's lead and brought her hands gently to her face. Tori felt Jade sigh lightly at the contact of the other's hands, a brush of air escaping from the other's mouth into her own made Tori's head spin. Don't stop.
Just at that thought, Jade pulled away with laughter. "Well damn, Tori. Are we going to borderline make out in the hallway all night? At least buy me dinner first."
Tori laughed and shyly pulled away from Jade. "Sorry, I couldn't help it. I've wanted to kiss you for a long time."
"Well it's about damn time," Jade joined Tori at her side and took her hand into her own. "No one has to know, tonight. Okay?"
Tori glanced at Jade with wide eyes. "Seems like Andre will be pretty aware."
"Then he can have his fun," Jade beamed at led the two outside, swinging Tori's arm as she squeezed her hand.
"But yeah, maybe we should give it some time before we decide to tell people. Not that I even know what we're going to say, just, you know, let's wait it out-"
"Yes, we'll go at our own pace. I agree," Jade spoke softly in reassurance. It was relieving to know that Jade knew that whatever was going to come from this would take some time.
"Hand-holding? At least buy me dinner first," Tori teased.
Jade abruptly let go and clasped her own hands together. "Okay, fine!"
"No, no! I liked it. I'm just… I can't believe this all just happened. I mean, now what? We kissed and like, now what?"
"Now, we dance at our school prome. Pretty simple," Jade pushed the door back open to go outside. The air felt cleaner than ever to breathe in; all of Tori's anxiety built up during the week suddenly vanished. Though she knew there would be tons more to come soon, she was going to enjoy tonight, and certainly wouldn't get over the way they had just kissed inside.
"So no more hand-holding?" Tori asked with a slight pout.
Jade turned to her friend with a raised eyebrow before slipping back into the crowd. "Don't you care if other people notice us?"
Tori hadn't even thought of that. Right now, nothing else matters except Jade and the fact that she had finally kissed this girl that she was infatuated with. "No, I just want to be near you."
Jade pressed her lips together in a small smile as she stared back at Tori with softened eyes. "Dork."
Andre popped out of nowhere, causing both girls to jump out of their skin and shriek before they could join hands again.
"Oh hey, keeper of secrets!" Jade greeted him with sarcasm.
"Uh, hey! Whatcha girls up to?"
"Well, we were just on our way to dance," Tori said simply, eyeing Jade with curiosity as to how she would carry herself. The fair-skinned girl nodded in agreement as a small smirk appeared on her face.
Cat saw Tori near the dancefloor for the first time tonight, and couldn't take up the opportunity to grab her by both of the arms and drag her into the crowd. Andre stepped next to Jade and watched the two girls disappear into a sea of cringey dancing. Jade sighed dramatically, prompting Andre to ask his inevitable questions. It was apparent that he was excited about Jade's appearance on stage after Tori performed.
"So… what did you guys talk about?" He asked, poorly hiding his extensive knowledge of the situation.
Jade shrugged and replied nonchalantly. "The song was about me."
Andre was taken aback by her apathy, his heart-shattering in a million pieces. Damn, was I really this far off the whole time? "Oh, was it?"
"Yeah, and you knew it too," Jade shot cold eyes at him, causing him to shiver.
"Look, I kept her secret because I'm a good friend-"
"You are. She needed to figure that one out on her own."
Jade was still mysteriously solemn about the confession. Andre suddenly wanted to burst into flames or fall off the face of the Earth. "So, how did the conversation go?"
"Oh, fine," Jade raised the volume of her voice. "Quite well, actually."
"Oh, good! So things ended well?"
Jade looked back to Tori, sweet Tori, incredible and unbelievably beautiful Tori who was trying the Cupid Shuffle with Cat. The two were in the center of a dance circle, and why people would clear the way for two dorks to do the Cupid was beyond Jade's knowledge, but she wasn't going to waste another second scaring the cologne off of Andre.
"Oh yeah, I even kissed her. I'd say things are just beginning."
As Jade proudly strutted away toward the girl her heart could now long for undoubtedly, Andre raised his fists into the air and screamed at the top of his lungs, "FINALLY, BITCH!"
As always, thanks for reading!