Disclaimer: Spooks and all it's characters belong to Kudos and the BBC.
Author's Note: I have to apologize for how long this chapter has taken, but it's finally here. I hope you enjoy it and Don't forget to leave a review.
Sometime Soon - Chapter Three
If silence had any flavour at all, something tangible to be savoured, it would have left a bitter aftertaste in the mouth.
She could feel his eyes on her. His warm chocolate gaze following her every movement, watching, waiting for a reaction. She felt like a rabbit caught within the headlights of a car. So sure that death was vastly approaching and there was nothing to do besides wait for the fatal blow to fall. No one but him had ever made her feel so anxious. Her eyes darted from side to side, hoping for a glance at the eyes that held her captive.
Her shoulders were set rigid. He could tell by the way that she held herself that tension was singing down her arms and building in the tips of her fingers. That nervous habit of clearing her throat every twenty or so seconds had decided to surface. Usually he hated seeing her so unsure of herself, but under the dim yellow hue of the overhead lighting, it made her all the more lovely.
From the moment her name had been spoken, her throat felt like a decent of the desert. She had to try twice before she could finally find her voice again. "We keep meeting like this, Harry," She said in what she hoped was a confident tone of voice, but she couldn't help but notice the slight tremor. "People will start to talk." If they're not already, she silently added.
He raised an eyebrow at that, but decided to leave it. That was meant for another time and place. "Yes well, you dashed off before I had a chance to tell you something."
It was said innocently enough, but she couldn't stop the tiny flutter of hope building in her chest. The novel in her lap completely abandoned, she wiped her suddenly sweaty palms on the soft material of her skirt. "Oh really," She tried for disinterested and failed, miserably. "And what might that be?"
Familiar warning signals started to flare as he leant forward. His lips hovered mere inches from her ear. The delicate aroma of peaches from her shampoo mingled with the vanilla perfume to create an almost edible scent. Her hazy blue eyes fluttered closed as she listened to the softness of his voice. "I didn't get a chance to tell you…goodnight."
She flexed her fingers involuntarily; a small frown creased her brow. With a hand on the metal bar, she turned in the worn seat to face him. Her back pressed against the cool glass of the window, and solid, reassuring presence. Disbelief etched itself on her face as she let her eyes drift over the gentle contours of his face.
"You came all this way, just to tell me that?" Though her expression might not have shown it, inwardly she was smiling at the gesture.
His eyes drifted briefly to the rain drop stained window, and the saturated street beyond. A small smile at the edge of his lips left no doubt in her mind of his answer.
After a beat, she gave a tiny shake of her head. A smile broke through her sceptical expression as she dropped her gaze to her hands. Polished nails tapped out a nameless rhythm on the bar.
A movement at the corner of her vision captured her attention. It occurred to her just how close their hands were, barely a pin's width from touching. It was so easy to just reach out and…..She made a noise low in her throat and fought to stop the blush that threatened to spread across her cheeks.
"We missed you, you know, all of us. The grid was…" She trailed off, stumbling for the right turn of phrase. "Let's just say I don't ever want to work for Juliet again." What an understatement that was.
"Well let's hope that you'll never have to." He didn't fail to notice the strain in her voice.
"You wouldn't…." She drew in a shallow breath and rolled her eyes towards the ceiling. The words seemed to stick in her throat, her voice sounded small, strangled. "You wouldn't leave us, would you Harry? You wouldn't quit?"
Something flashed behind his eyes almost too quick to identify. If she were to hazard a guess, she would have said that the cold and collected mask that he used at work was slowly slipping back into place. It was almost depressing to know that he was a completely different person when it was just the two of them.
"What brought that up?" He asked softly enough, but behind it was a harshness that hadn't been there only moments before.
She bit into her bottom lip, so hard in fact that she was surprised that she didn't draw blood. Wishing she kept her mouth shut, she made a dismissive gesture with her hand. "It's just something that came up, during your….absence." She stumbled over the word, making it sound strange, foreign. "Silly really, but if you were, thinking of leaving I mean. Well I'd sooner know now, rather than…well," She swallowed, hard. Once she started it was near impossible to stop the flood gates.
"Ruth, you're babbling," He said with a slight smile.
She made a "hmm" noise and ran pale fingers across her temple. Though she felt a small weight lifted at the playful tone, she couldn't help but think that she was on thin ice. "Yes well, that's what happens when I have no idea what I'm saying."
"Ruth…"
"Just promise me," She interrupted him mid sentence. "That you won't abandon us. Contrary to what Juliet seems to think, we need you. I mean someone has to organise the kids, and as much as I love him, Adam's just not up to the job."
Even from day one, Harry had always said that she was an excellent judge of character. The same went for situations. It was just one of the reasons she was one of the most treasured officers on the grid. But it was the other reasons that made her request hard to deal with. A long time ago, he promised himself never to lie to her, even if it was life and death.
Attentively, he reached out and took her hand in his. Though she wouldn't meet his gaze, she went incredibly still. He drew his thumb gently over her creamy skin. "I can't promise you that Ruth. So many things could change that, even if I did." He couldn't help but wince as he thought of Fiona and Adam, and how cruel fate had been to them.
She nodded, sullenly. "Right," She tried to keep the disappointment out of her voice.
"But if it makes you feel better, I promise not to have any lapses in judgement that could mean my dismissal," He said with a smile. He ran his thumb along the length of her slender fingers.
A slight tremor coursed down her arm, and a sigh passed her lips. "And to think I complained about having Juliet for a boss."
She squeezed his hand, harder than she intended to. As if she were afraid that it was some strange dream, and any minute she would wake up, cold and alone. She enjoyed the sensation of his skin against hers, his warmth. She wouldn't allow thoughts of how they worked together to ruin it. A contented sound escaped her lips as Harry traced small circles on the back of her hand.
Ruth cleared her throat and said the first thing that popped into her head, the thing she wanted most. She had almost broken herself out of that annoying little habit. "Coffee?"
He had been anticipating something along those lines since the idea first seized him. He could say anything, anything at all. Yet first thing tomorrow they would fall back into an uneasy routine, even he couldn't change that. It didn't seem right, not like this.
"I can't Ruth," He said softly, almost cringing as the words left his mouth. "It's not that I don't appreciate the offer, but…"
"You jut can't." She finished for him with a grim nod. "Right, no it's fine..." She attempted to smile, but couldn't find it in herself. Too many thoughts of rejection ran through her mind.
Though the rain had stopped so time ago, crystalline droplets rolled down the window panes. Silent tears that neither of them dared to shed.
"Not at the moment, no," He said, watching colour splattered street lights and cars blend into the night. His voice dropped to barely above a whisper, so that no one besides her would hear. "But, sometime soon."
Rousing herself from her thoughts, she blinded those luscious lashes of black velvet. A secretive smile spread her lips as she met his gaze. "I'll hold you to that."
"I sincerely hope you do."
The chiming of the stopping bell broke thought their reverie. Sodden bodies passed between the faded seats, and the rapid chatter of fellow passengers drowned out the roar of the diesel engine. New arrivals paid no attention to the two strangers that seemed to share the same private joke. Streetlights continued to catch the edges of the watery prisms that lined the windows like tears of joy.