(Mega long chapter I've started to bring some History in, in reality Christian Wirth was the lead commander of the Balzac extermination camp. Of course I don't know if he would have done any of things that Albus has suffered but he was a very vile man and honestly I wouldn't put it past him.)

Chapter four

Three days past and Albus felt no change inside him, no returning of normality and balance and no sign of these awful memories straying from his mind. It seemed that when his sleeping hours where no riddled with flashbacks or insomnia he would dream of Minerva but not the sort of dreams he had become used to in the last few months no these dreams where not filled with tales of love and passionate embraces these where the kind of dreams where he would wake up next to her to find her covered in bruises he had caused, dreams where she would cringe at his touch and scream and cry and the things he did to her. Albus supposed that he was taking the place of Christian Wirth in these dreams and acting out all the terrible things that had been done to him to someone else, why he was doing this he couldn't understand. He supposed it was some form of therapy that his mind was trying to create but Albus found himself disgusted by it. He found it hard to look at Minerva after these dreams fearing that he could still be asleep and would soon begin acting out those terrible deeds of violation upon her.

He often found himself feeling utterly numb around Minerva, where once love and passion controlled his whole being just by looking at her he now felt nothing. But it wasn't just her thing's he read in Minerva's books and in the 'Daily Prophet' no longer angered or upset him it just felt that he was numb to everything. Now again the numbness would fade away and once it did Albus found himself wishing it would return the pain was always to unbearable when he could actually feel something. He could tell his numbness was hurting Minerva he had tried so hard to show her some affection but it never came out as it should and it always just seemed to cause more damage then it did good.

"I'm going into Diagon Alley today would you like to come?" Minerva asked him softly. She had taken him into the streets two days ago and it had not been successful. He couldn't stand to be around so many people, so many people accidentally touching him and he couldn't stop himself from seeing that same mans face out of the corner of his eye every few minutes. He knew he couldn't possibly be near him he was still in Balzac but he couldn't shake of the feeling of that all too familiar presence and the face that continued to haunt him even when he was awake.

"No… I'd rather stay here." He answered.

"Well if you're sure…" Minerva answered she wasn't very keen on the idea of leaving him alone. "I'll see if I can find you a good book while I'm out."

Normally Albus would have chuckled and thanked her but now he just nodded and watched her leave with sunken eyes. Once she was gone Albus strode around the house rubbing his hands together nervously and shivering slightly. Since when had be been so afraid to be alone? He thought back the last time he had been alone… it was when he was in the concentration camp dreading Wirth's next visit which he knew would come. He closed his eyes and felt tears of fright and sadness start to weld up. He had to distract himself before it became too much, before he sank back into those memories. He strolled the house desperately searching for something to distract himself with. He searched Minerva's study hoping to find some of her Auror work, hoping to see something to do with Grindlewald he would rather face that dark wizard then face those memories again. He knew Minerva was a high authority in the search for Grindlewald and the war that was happening in both the muggle and wizarding world because of him. He couldn't find anything! Minerva should have something she must have! Yet he couldn't find anything. He couldn't understand why he was so desperate to find that information but he needed it, he just knew at the moment it was the only thing that could distract him. Before he could even consider the ethics in his actions he found himself in Minerva's rooms invading her own personal quarters.

He found a small desk in the corner of the room which was littered with many pictures ranging from gruesome murders to the handsome form of Lord Grindlewald. He took a seat at the table and began to read and instantly his mind became distracted concentrating solely on the facts in front of him.Before he had left for Germany it had been discovered that Grindlewald was not the ordinary muggle hating wizard they had expected him to be for the past two years he had been hiding his many murders by killing only muggle borns and half bloods. It had came to light now that it was not his ultimate goal to destroy muggle borns but the whole wizarding world instead. From what he could gather Grindlewald had a hatred of wizards and Jews, strangely he happened to be both but would never class himself as it. He demanded to be called a 'sorcerer' which he somehow believed was initially different from being a wizard and wouldn't admit anything about his Jewish heritage at all.

It had also been discovered that Grindlewald was strongly influencing the actions of his muggle counterpart Hitler with the promise of magical power beyond all imagination. Since then more had been discovered about Grindlewald's and Hitler's plans from what Albus could see all the destruction that was happening around him was due to a world dominating lust of two mad men. He carried on flicking through the many papers when he came upon a file of named pictures; he supposed these where people the ministry believed could be involved with Hitler or Grindlewald. Albus flicked through the pictures and stopped dead when he reached a certain one. He felt himself jump back from the chair and back himself into the opposite corner. Curling himself into the corner and sobbing silently he stared horrified at the picture of the man who had tortured him, who had bullied him, beaten him and raped him. The picture of Christian Wirth fell to the floor as Albus slipped further and further away from mentality.