Getting Sam to let go of him to put her in the backseat proved problematic, but there was no hope for it, and resulted in another several minutes of wailing. Daniel tried reaching across from his own seat to comfort her, but she didn't want any of it. Jack finally just got in the front seat and started the truck. Her cries eventually lessened, but the tempo against the back of the seat beat a steady tattoo with her intermittent whines.
He somehow got them all inside house, and settled Sam on the couch, although she pitched another fit when he walked away again. He sighed. She was being clingy tonight, and it seemed like her legs were broken, at least to her. He took the boys into the kitchen. They looked at him, faces identical masks of concern.
"Sam's dad had to go away. She just found out that her mommy is never coming back because she died a long time ago, she had to have lots of tests that hurt today, she just had to get a shot, and she might have gotten some medicines that are making her feel really weird right now, that's why she's crying so much and feeling really cranky." Jack tried to explain why Sam was acting so unusual.
"Then we must stay with Samantha and remind her that we will not also go away," Teal'c said simply, in the logic that comes with the tender age of youth.
Jack smiled and cupped the side of the boy's face. "That's exactly right Teal'c. Look, I'm going to order a pizza, I'll be out in a minute, can you guys stay with Sam? Keep her company?" The boys nodded, and Jack picked up the phone.
Several minutes later, Jack walked out to find Sam curled up in a miserable ball on the couch, Teal'c on the floor at her feet, and Daniel sitting next to her, his arm around her. They'd put the TV on to her favorite show, but she didn't seem much interested. Jack sat down next to Sam on her other side, wrapping his arm around her, briefly rubbing Daniel's back in the process. Daniel looked at him with sad eyes, and Jack gave him a look of encouragement.
"Hey Sam, pizza's going to be here soon," he said, rubbing her back.
"Not hungry." Her head was buried into her knees, which were curled protectively up to her chest.
He sighed, and pulled her towards him. She came without resistance, her small body trembling with unshed tears. "Oh Sam, I'm so sorry."
"Why didn't you tell me? I thought she'd come back? You kept saying she couldn't be here. Why? I want her back, it's not fair, why my mom, why me? What did I do?" The questions tumbled out and her body heaved with sobs, and it was all Jack could do to hold her, as the tears rolled down his own face.
"Sam, oh, Sam, it's not your fault. It was never your fault. Nothing you ever did could ever have changed the way things turned out. I couldn't tell you, well because I couldn't hurt you, not when I hoped that we could change you back to the grown up you. Sam, you aren't alone here, ok? Even though your Daddy isn't here, he still loves you very much. And, well, I love you too, and you've got Danny, and Teal'c and Doctor Janet, and Uncle George too. We all love you, and I know it's not the same, but don't forget that everyone loves you very much." As he spoke, two small hands joined his in rubbing Sam's back, and gradually, her sobs lost the edge of desperation they'd held before, becoming less full of despair and more cleansing. Finally, they stopped altogether, and she just held onto him, breathing.
He thought for a little while that she'd fallen asleep, and debated what to do, but then she spoke quietly. "Colonel Jack?"
"Yeah Sam?" he answered softly.
"I love you too. And Danny and Teal'c. I still miss my Mommy and Daddy though." Her voice was sad.
He hugged her. "I know. That's ok. It's ok to miss people when they are gone."
She nodded. Just then, the doorbell rang, signaling the arrival of the pizza. Jack moved to answer it, and her hands tightened, grabbing a handful of his shirt. "Sam, I just need to get the door, I'll be right back."
"Noo. Don't gooo." Her voice was whiney in an instant, and tears threatened to fall again.
He bit back a groan, catching the glance the two boys shared as Daniel rolled his eyes. It seemed Daniel had limited patience in a nine year olds body, and even Jack's patience was starting to wear thin. He started to untangle the limbs, ignoring the cries that started up as predicted. "I'll be back in a sec." As he walked away, the cries built in intensity, and he sighed. He'd hoped with her healthy emotional release, that it had been the end. Obviously it hadn't. It looked like they were in for a long night.
The pizza guy looked at him curiously as he handed over the pizzas. Sam's wailing probably sounded like she was being murdered or something back there. Jack just handed the guy the money and shrugged helplessly.
He grabbed several plates and a couple paper towels from the kitchen and returned to the living room to discover that Daniel had moved off the couch and Teal'c was no longer sitting next to it. Both boys had moved over to the other side of the coffee table and were watching the couch and the small occupant warily as she kicked her feet against the cushions and rocked in frustration. They looked at him in surprise as he handed them plates of pizza. They never got to eat in the living room.
"Just be careful with it ok?" he warned them, and they nodded, still sending worried and slightly disgusted glances at the couch. Sam hadn't even lessened her tempo or shown any indication that she had noticed or cared that the pizza was here.
Jack placed a slice on a plate and stood near the couch, and decided that the food might help improve her temper and distract her. "Sam, pizza."
"Don't." Thump "Want." Thump "Any." Thump. She kicked the seat cushions with each word to punctuate her reply. So much for that idea.
Used to Carter when she was being stubborn, Jack decided on one more attempt with her younger version. "C'mon Sam, just try to eat a little bit, you like pizza. Just a little, you can do it." He moved the plate a little closer. Unfortunately, the move proved to be a mistake, but Jack hadn't been a military man for years and learned nothing. Reflexes honed and sharpened, he dodged the inexpertly aimed kick by centimeters. However, he was unprepared for his own surge of anger that followed.
As a child, Jack had been raised to always respect his parents and elders. Anytime he'd showed disrespect towards an adult the response had been immediate, usually painful, and often for far less than what Sam had just done. His nerves already frayed by the long past several hours of waiting, and the recent hours of near constant crying on Sam's part, and add the emotional stress, worrying, and fear over what had happened to her and the whole situation with the kids, it all came bubbling to the surface. His first instinct was to turn her over his knee and deliver a stinging swat or two to her bare bottom. It was no less than his parents would have done. In fact, he'd have considered himself lucky if that's the lightest they'd done for trying to strike one of them.
He'd even taken a step towards her, intent on just such an action, hand half raised, mind awash with anger for a moment. But the phone rang in the next, shattering his thoughts, and he realized what he was about to do and stopped, his other hand clenching the plate he still held so tightly the knuckles were bone white. He swore and stormed out of the room, briefly catching a glace of the looks of fear and worry on Teal'c and Danny's face. Sam's crying continued unabated, she had no idea how close he'd just come to losing control.
He snatched the phone off the cradle in the kitchen. "O'Neill!" he barked, thumping the plate onto the counter with a loud bang, almost surprised when it didn't break with the force of the impact.
"Colonel O'Neill, is everything alright?" said the concerned female voice on the other end.
"Doctor Fraiser, jeeze!" Jack took a deep calming breath, and counted to ten. Then he counted to ten again, before speaking. "I'm so sorry, it's just been a little hairy here is all."
"I understand, I was calling to see how things were going actually." Janet's voice was soothing, like a balm. Wordlessly, Jack held the receiver out towards the sound of the screaming. "That bad huh?" she said when he placed the phone back to his ear.
"Yeah, she's been like that pretty much all night. I thought she was getting better after we talked about her mom, but as soon as I had to get up to go pay the delivery guy, she wigged out again. She won't eat; she won't stop crying if I leave the room. Doc, I don't know how much more of this I can take. I almost lost it and hit her, if you hadn't called just now, I don't know what I would have done. She doesn't need that on top of everything else." Jack found his hands were again clenched into fists as he remembered how he'd nearly let his emotions control his actions.
"Colonel, this is a trying time for all of you. I'm surprised you're dealing as well as you are actually. The important thing is you didn't lose control. Now, I'm calling because I've gotten the results back from the blood tests we ran earlier on Sam, and we were able to identify several drugs in her system, and I think I have a fairly good idea what may be causing at least some of her current behavior. One of the chemicals as it's breaking down came back with somewhat similar properties to a class of stimulant drugs called amphetamines, which can cause irritability, loss of appetite, and trouble sleeping. With what you've told me about how tired Sam must have been before going over there, I think her exhaustion and the emotional events of the day have just compounded the reaction she's having now. Unfortunately, there isn't much we can do about it. The good news is, I think it will just take a little bit of time while her system clears the drugs, and she'll be back to normal." Janet tried to sound positive, as she could still hear the sounds of one frustrated little girl in the background.
"How. Long?" There was an edge of desperation to Jack's voice.
Sensing the worry, Janet tried to sound reassuring. "A child's systems aren't as mature as an adult's, and that's why I think Sam is having so much trouble dealing with the chemicals. That said, it's going to take a little bit longer for everything to clear out, and a little bit longer to return to normal, but I'm hoping she'll be feeling a lot better by morning."
Jack closed his eyes briefly. Morning. He might just be able to survive until than. That meant they would just have to make it through the night. "And there's nothing we can do for her? Not even something to help calm her down or go to sleep?"
"I'm sorry Colonel. I'm reluctant to give her any more drugs for fear how they'd react with the drugs already in her system; especially given her altered blood chemistry. Children are a whole different science onto themselves sometimes, and Major Carter was different after her experience with Jolinar… to have a child with the same sort of blood chemistry, well, let's just say I'd rather not have to unless we really needed to. Sam's truly one of a kind right now." Jack smiled at the thought as Janet continued. "As for getting her to relax, I'd suggest trying some soft music or a warm bath. The sooner you can get her to sleep, the better. Just keep being reassuring, she'll settle."
Jack sighed. It wasn't much, but… "Ok, I'll try that."
He heard her take a breath on the other end. "Look, if she gets worse, or you have any concerns, you know you can call me any time, you have all my numbers. I'll be home tonight with Cassie. And I should probably see her again tomorrow, so why don't you bring her by the infirmary in the morning…"
Hastily he interrupted, looking at the clock, the hour already late. "How about later, like in the afternoon? If she's doing ok that is. I just have a feeling we're going to be up kinda late, and it's been a long day, I would just rather let everybody sleep in, Sam especially, before I go bringing her back to the infirmary for more tests. If she's not doing any better by the morning," and he crossed his fingers, fervently hoping it would not be so, "I'll bring her in first thing. Promise."
There was a pause, and he could almost see the doctor considering. Finally, she spoke. "Ok, but I expect to see you and Sam in the infirmary by tomorrow afternoon at the latest or I will personally come looking for you." Jack smiled wryly, knowing the threat wasn't an idle one. "We will have to draw some more blood though." Jack's smile faded, and he couldn't hold back a groan.
"Yeah, I figured. Hopefully she'll be back to her old self though, and it won't bother her as much as long as you have some stickers and Scooby Doo band-aids," he told her, trying to inject some confidence in his voice that he wasn't really feeling at the moment.
Janet laughed at the weak joke, glad that the Colonel was at least feeling hopeful now. "I'll make sure of it. Good luck tonight Colonel, I hope Sam feels better soon, and call me if you need it, I mean it."
"Thanks Doc. Have a good night."
"Good night Colonel." The line clicked as the other end disconnected, and Jack hung up his own phone, absently picking up the slice of pizza that Sam hadn't wanted and cramming it in his mouth.
He chewed on the slice, contemplating the things he'd been told. It sounded like getting Sam to bed would be the best deal for all of them, before he lost his patience again with her. He knew, rationally, that it wasn't completely her fault that she was feeling so irritable and out of sorts. She was just a little kid after all, and she'd just had her entire world turned on its side. That would have been difficult for her had she been reacting normally. But add in a few drugs making her irritable, well, he guessed he might whine a bit too. But still, the past few hours coming stacked on top of his own worries and fears had been very grating. He was exhausted, and he knew he wasn't the most patient man in the world to begin with. And he knew if he was exhausted, she had to be ready to drop over, and it was a shame she didn't because he sensed that all three of the kids were running on fumes.
Just then a rather high-pitched shriek from the living room, and the resumption of a new level of screaming told him that something had just happened. Dropping the last bit of the pizza he'd been eating, he charged out into the living room to find Danny and Teal'c halfway across the room, looking a bit awestruck and slightly terrified, as they stared at their younger foster sibling and former teammate from what now felt like another life, as she wailed in distress on the couch. Other than looking slightly more unhappy (if it was possible) than when he'd seen her last, she seemed unchanged, so he headed for the boys.
"What happened?" he asked, getting straight to the point.
The boys exchanged worried looks, and finally Teal'c spoke. "I attempted to teach Samantha Kelnorim, in an effort to calm her. I thought it would help her to find inner peace tonight." Teal'c's eyes were downcast as he spoke. Obviously, judging by the scream moments ago, his plan had backfired in a big way. Sam was apparently not in the mood for finding inner peace.
Mind made up that it was bedtime for everyone, the now half-hearted whimpers from the couch and the slightly unhappy looks from Daniel and Teal'c only backing up his decision. Jack tried to reassure Teal'c, his heart warmed over by the young boy's thoughtfulness. "That was a good thought Teal'c, I just don't think Sam is in the mood right now. Maybe you can try it again another day alright?" He waited until Teal'c looked up at him and nodded hesitantly. "Okay, Danny, Teal'c, why don't you guys go get ready for bed, Sam and I will be right behind you." He gave them a reassuring smile when they looked worried, obviously still thinking about how he'd stormed out of the room in anger earlier. The looks turned into relieved ones when he grinned at them as they passed, taking wide berths of the couch, and rubbed their heads and backs, giving them nudges towards the stairs. It was a measure of their relief to be going and turning over the full responsibility to him that they went without protest.
He picked up the pizza box and plates, and went out to the kitchen. By the time he was done putting everything away, he figured the boys were done with the bathroom, so he slipped upstairs, deciding he'd try at least one of Doctor Fraiser's suggestions. Ducking into the bathroom, he filled the tub with warm water. He didn't have any bubbles. Having been a single man for a long time, he didn't really go for bubble baths, but at this point he didn't think Sam would care if the bath had bubbles or not. All the kids had been taking showers until now anyway, so this would be different for her. He made sure there were soap, a washcloth, and a large fluffy towel ready.
Once everything was in readiness, he went back downstairs to get Sam. "C'mon Sam, time for a bath, then bed."
"Don't need one. Not sleepy." The whines started to build, and Jack felt his frustration growing again despite his resolve not to let his emotions get out of control. He counted to ten, and reminded himself that he was the adult.
"After today, you need one. We always take a bath after going through the gate, and you've been in those clothes all day. It's time for bed whether you like it or not, Teal'c and Danny have already gone and they're older than you are. So let's go." This time, he made sure to stay well out of range of any kicks or hits. However, if he was thinking his infallible logic would convince her to get up off her butt and walk up the stairs with him to the bathroom, he was mistaken. In the end, he had to haul her up there himself, and she let him know how much she disliked the idea.
He sat her down on the closed toilet seat, and she banged her feet against the porcelain bowl, feet still encased in her shoes. Her cries hadn't lessened and she showed no inclination in wanting to do anything on her own. With a sigh, he realized if he wanted her in the warm, soothing bath, he'd have to put her there himself.
"Ok Sam, let's get those shoes off." He said, working to keep his tone soothing and gentle, then moved in on the swinging feet, adroitly catching one ankle.
"Nooooo!" Came the predicted response as she struggled in his hold. Jack felt his patience growing thin again. He didn't want to discipline her, but if she didn't hold still, one of them would end up hurt, and he really didn't want to hurt her, especially now. And he knew, that even when a child was sick, you still had to make sure they understood there were limits to their behavior. Hopefully, she'd calm down with a verbal warning, because he wasn't sure if a time out would work, and he refused to do anything physical to her. She'd had enough painful things done today in his opinion, and it wouldn't do either of them any good.
"Sam, I'm warning you, you need to calm down, and we are doing this. So we can either do this my way, or your way, and trust me, my way is a whole lot easier than your way." Something in his tone must have finally penetrated the real and self imposed misery clouding her mind, because even though she continued to whine, she stopped struggling and held still, allowing Jack to undress her, much to his relief. It had always amazed him that no matter how miserable or angry a kid was, when you told him or her to do something and really meant it, they would do it, protesting the entire way of course, but they would still do it. He thought kids probably wasted a lot of energy protesting the things they ended up doing anyway. Of course, if they didn't waste the energy somewhere, kids would probably end up doing something else crazy with all that excess energy, like be able to fly or something, and that would be a whole lot worse.
As soon as he had her undressed, he lifted her into the tub, she whimpered at first, and clung to him but he spoke to her quietly, and used the soapy rag to rub at her back and body gently soothing her as he spoke to her. Gradually, she started to relax, although she still whimpered now and again. The bath seeming to do the trick, Jack decided to use the opportunity to attack the tangled mess that her hair had become. Not combing it that morning had been a bit of a mistake it seemed. Spending the rest of the day concealed under a hat hadn't helped. The crowning achievement was hours of Sam's head rolling around on the upholstery in tantrums. Add to that the fact that he just really didn't know what he was doing with a little girl's hair. He knew if he let her sleep in it tonight the way it was, he'd probably have to shave it tomorrow, and she'd never forgive him. Well, maybe it wasn't that bad, but it did look like birds would like to nest there.
Things were going well, until Sam moved suddenly. The next thing he knew, she had two eyes full of shampoo suds, and the relaxing bath was anything but as the house was once again filled with howls. He gave up, pouring water over her head as best he could to rinse the suds out, getting scratched in the process as Sam accidentally caught him while trying to rub at her stinging her eyes. By the time he got her out of the tub, her cries were such that she had to pause in between each one to suck in a lungful of air. His mind supplied a litany of curses that he couldn't say out loud but wished he could as he toweled the girl off then bodily carried her down the hall to her room. He discovered the boys had been there ahead of him, because someone had turned on the desk lamp and drawn the covers down on Sam's bed.
He set her down on the bed, towel and all, and grabbed a t-shirt and fresh pair of underwear from her dresser. Getting the underwear on her though, quickly proved to be a problem, because her legs were thrashing too much. He finally decided she could live without them, and tossed them on top of the dresser. Instead, he hauled her into a sitting position, momentarily startling her into silence. Using her surprise to his advantage, he slipped the t-shirt over her head. Taking one glance at her towel dried hair, he decided she wouldn't die if she went to bed with a damp head for one night, and he really didn't want to deal with blow-drying it right now. So he just pushed her down, pulled the covers up before she had time to figure out what he was doing, and pressed a kiss on her forehead.
"I love you Sam, good night." He ignored her as her crying started back up again, gently but firmly pulling the door partially closed, but leaving the lamp on in the room.
"Noooooo. Don't go! I don't wanna go to sleep! NO!" A particularly loud wail followed, then more muffled ones sounding like she'd turned into her pillow. It broke his heart to leave her alone, but so far, his presence had only stimulated her. He hoped that by de-stimulating her a little, and leaving her alone in the familiar surroundings of her room, she'd fall asleep. She certainly seemed exhausted enough. So far, it didn't seem to be working, but he hadn't thought it would right away. He sighed, hoping she'd fall asleep soon, going downstairs and tidying up, taking care of the few necessary things he'd neglected earlier in their haste to depart that morning and their eventful return much later that evening.
Thirty minutes later, he'd gotten ready for bed, checked all the doors and windows, started the dishwasher, sorted laundry for the next day, picked up downstairs, peeked in on the boys who were somehow sleeping, and Sam was still at it. And now there was a suspicious thumping coming from the room. He'd sat on the edge of his bed for several minutes earlier debating if he should go to her or not, and had decided to let her stay a little longer, hoping she'd wear herself out, worried going to her would just stimulate more tantrums like it had before. But now, now he regretted that decision as he pushed the door open to her room.
At first he didn't see her, and her bed was conspicuously empty. As soon as he moved into the room though, he spotted her on the other side of the bed, huddled on the floor in a tangle of her star covered blanket, feet and fists alternating thumping into the floor and wall, the source of the sound he'd heard. She was a picture of misery, and his heart went out to her.
Crossing the room in a few strides, he gathered her into his arms, blanket and all, and carried her down the hall to his own room. She struggled at first, her cries desperate, but as soon as she realized she wasn't being punished she stilled, startled when he set her on the bed in his own room.
She whimpered, trembling as he climbed into bed after her and pulled her close, rocking her gently in his arms, and whispering soothing words into her hair. The tears started again, but this time they weren't the body wracking sobs from earlier, but a cleansing release. He held tightly to her, but she held tighter.
Time passed, and he had no idea how long they held onto each other, but eventually her breathing evened out into the steady rhythm of sleep. He loathed disturbing her, but knew they'd both be more comfortable lying down. Gently, he laid her on the bed, relieved when she only sighed, curling into a ball, one hand still gripping his t-shirt. He didn't even try to release it, and instead, laid down facing her, pulling the covers over both of them. Sleep claimed him not long after.
A/N: So I know I have made Jack make a few mistakes in this chapter, but I feel like Jack is only human, and he'd make a few mistakes, just like any parent would. Which is why I tried to explain his thinking process over the decisions he made and later why he beat himself up for the choices or actions he nearly took. Jack strikes me as a man that's quick to action with a smoldering temper, and I tried to make this chapter as much about Jack as it was about Sam.
For those of you wanting some adventures on the other kids, don't worry, there will be, but there's something else coming up in the next few chapters that will still seem Sam focused, but then we'll start getting all the kids into some other adventures, and I have some other interesting things planned as well!
And now, I need a few good cold remedies lol. I hate being congested, and all I want to do is sleep, so I hope you appreciate me dragging my butt out of my cozy bed to come over here with my box of Kleenexes and bowl of chicken noodle soup and post the latest chapter!