Hello everybody!

I am so, so sorry for the lack of updates.

Life got hard to a point where I was homeless for about two months, but I'm ok now.

And I am back with more chapters!

Enjoy your reading!

Pavs.

Chapter Twenty-Five: A List of the Things That I Do Regret

[Barney]

Bonaparte had done a good job of finding him a new team. Well, apart from that Galgo guy. It wasn't that he thought the man didn't have skills, it was that he was looking for young blood. Hopefully, people he couldn't relate too. Or that didn't talk so much…

Which was why he was currently trying his best not to notice that Mars was specialized in heavy weapons, just like Hale. Or that Luna could give anyone a run for his money when it came to hand to hand combat. Or even the fact that Thorn was every bit as intelligent as Gunnar and had tracking skills that could rival Yang's. Not to mention, Smilee, who was a walking reminder of himself and Billy.

''So, you're thinking of going after Stonebanks with these youngsters? Don't look at me like that, you ain't the only one still talking to Bonaparte. Besides, you know you could have just told us you'd gone nuts,'' Trench said to him, and Barney swore under his breath. ''Sorry, what was that?''

''Look, we all know it's a one-way trip, and we're good with that,'' Barney said, clearly irritated.

''Well, I am not,'' Trench stated with such a serious tone that Barney suddenly looked at him straight in the eyes. ''Whether I enjoy it or not, we are friends. I won't let you go on a suicide mission on your own. Even less so with kids that I know you'll care about too much to let them die. Barney, you can't do this.''

''Watch me,'' Barney said while trying not to show his hesitation.

''No, I won't. I will, however, watch over you. Just tell me what's the plan, when we go, and I'll be there,'' Trench said before adding, ''And don't even bother trying to change my mind. It's personal for me too.''

''We leave at 11,'' Barney said, and Trench nodded.

[Tool's]

''I know he's got his head up his arse, but 11:00 a.m. will be too late to try and change his mind. See you at the Hangar.'' – Trench

''That fucking moron,'' Lee said, and Doc looked at him.

''Trench just texted. I think Barney's going after Stonebanks on his own. He leaves the hangar at eleven,'' Lee explained, and, without a word, they all left for the hangar.

[Barney's hangar]

Doc had no idea why he hadn't told any of them. Maybe it was because he knew there had to be more to it if Tool hadn't either. How the fuck could he know, though? It wasn't like the man had answered his phone. It was worrying him more and more. He entered the hangar with the others and frowned at the sight of young people carrying weapons to the plane.

''Heard you got a job,'' Toll said, and Barney looked up at them.

''That's right,'' he confirmed, and Lee looked behind him.

''Who the hell are they?'' he asked, disdain in his voice.

''They're with me,'' Barney answered, not liking where this was going. Gunnar took a sip from his flask, and Barney sighed.

''But we're not,'' Jensen said, and Barney looked down.

''Gunnar, I told you everything I had to tell you back at the bar,'' Barney said before he looked at him with concern in his eyes. ''And Stop drinking so much. She wouldn't want you to either.''

''You want to get yourself killed,'' Doc stated, worry showing through his voice. ''With these youngsters?''

''Do us all a favor and get the hell out of here,'' Barney concluded before he turned to go make sure he wasn't forgetting something.

Toll looked at Barney and frowned. Something was off. It was almost as if he knew that this was a lost cause and that he would…Fucker. He was about to go and confront him about his poor attempt at auto-destruction when he saw Gunnar walk towards one of the kids.

''Come on,'' Gunnar laughed, and Toll got closer. The man was far from sober, and Road knew that shit could hit the fan really fast when it came to Jensen. Barney ignored them and kept walking.

''If your guys wanted to fight, why didn't they just get married?'' Trench joked through his cigar, and Barney sighed.

''You seriously smoking next to aviation fuel?'' he asked, and Trench turned to face him.

''Can't be as dumb as going after Stonebanks without them,'' Mauser retorted back, and Barney met his eyes. ''I won't fight for a lost cause, but dying like that is stupid.''

''You talk like I have reasons to live,'' Barney said, and Trench felt the anger rising.

''The hell you don't!'' Trench exclaimed, and both the new and old members of his team turned to Barney.

No matter how annoyed they were at the new recruits, they'd never seen Barney and Trench actually fight against each other.

''Not this time,'' Barney said before he went into the changing room.

Doc looked at Trench, and the man motioned for his friend to follow him outside.

[D&T]

''Heard you were back,'' Trench said after taking a deep breath.

''Could've had a better welcome,'' Doc stated, and Trench nodded.

''Still glad you're here,'' Trench said sincerely. ''And not just because of all the shit that came our way, but because I missed your precision.''

''Of course, you did,'' Doc smirked, and Trench smiled. They heard footsteps and saw Toll coming their way.

''Sorry to interrupt,'' he said. ''But something is seriously wrong with Ross.''

''Yeah, I know,'' Trench sighed. ''Why do you think I've been here? Hell, I even thought he wouldn't let me come.''

''It's a good thing you are. The man looks like he gave up. I don't like it, at all,'' Toll said with worry in his voice before he added, ''neither would Gabrielle.''

Doc reached to his pocket and stopped himself before he got the picture out. He couldn't do it, could he? What if Tool was in danger? What if them going to help him would jeopardize his plans? What if Stonebanks and Woodsman were waiting for Barney to be distracted. He pulled his hand back out of his pocket, and Toll frowned.

''We have to ensure he'll get back home safe then,'' Doc said before he turned to Trench. ''Call me if need be.''

Toll looked at him walking away for a moment before he turned to Trench.

''Well, that was something,'' Trench said, and Toll nodded.

[Plane]

Barney was trying to ignore the kids messing around and laughing at the back of the plane. He couldn't think of them as recruits, that would mean he cared and he couldn't afford that with Stonebanks being around. He heard Luna's laughter, and he felt like he was about to throw up. She wasn't much older than his daughter would have been today.

''Barn, you ok?'' Trench asked, and he nodded.

Trench didn't believe him for one second, and Barney knew it. But how was he supposed to ignore the fact that the young people behind him were as old as Billy when he'd died? How was he supposed to ignore that fucking Stonebanks was the reason Hale was at the hospital?

His daughter's death had fucked him over, and now he had to deal with the man who'd betrayed him to an almost breaking point all those years ago. A man who'd almost killed one of his friends and that he was almost sure was behind Woodsman reappearance (also known as one of his biggest regrets).

He was about to go insane.

He ignored the worried look Trench was giving him and got up to stretch his legs. He saw that one of the kids, John Smilee, was up too.

''Got a minute?'' John asked, and Barney looked at him briefly.

''What do you need?'' Barney replied while checking his material.

''Tell me more about this guy we're going after,'' John said, and Barney couldn't stop the flashbacks.

The blood, the pain…The pain.

''Doesn't matter. You were hired to do a job,'' he replied.

But Smilee was having none of it.

''How about answering why we're doing this job?'' he asked, and Barney looked at him once again.

''I owe you a salary, that's it,'' Barney stated, knowing he was that close to losing his shit.

John didn't seem to notice while he stood up and got so close to Barney that he could tell what the kid had eaten for dinner.

''Why are we going after Stonebanks?'' John asked again, and Barney would have been impressed if the answer wasn't bringing so many bad memories.

''You have a hard time taking orders, don't you?'' Barney asked, and as soon as the words left his mouth, he was reminded of himself while he was in the military.

Smilee was stubborn and still believed in morals and ethics. Gabrielle would've liked him. They had that in common. Well, Barney still had it, didn't he? Minus his questionable choices. Maybe he could understand why Stonebanks had turned out that way. Or maybe the fact that Barney had fought against his dark side for so long was the reason he was so mad at his old friend for giving in, why he'd been so afraid that his world would taint his daughter's soul.

But she'd died instead. His world did that too.

''If I don't know what they are, yeah,'' John replied, and Barney could barely hold himself together.

John saw the pain in the man's eyes and looked at the ground for a few seconds. While he had planned on confronting Barney about the real reason behind the job, he had not seen this kind of reaction coming. He frowned.

''I know you don't give a damn about us,'' Smilee began, and what he saw in the older man's eyes confirmed that this mission was personal. ''I get that. But just tell me why you want to take out this guy so bad.''

Barney sighed before he took the file and give it to the kid. He then proceeded to go back to the front of the plane, took out a cigar, and closed his eyes while smoking it.

[John Smilee]

He was turning the pages of the file so quickly he almost felt dizzy. That Stonebanks guy was a real bastard. He did stop when he saw a picture of him with the Expendables tattoo on his arm.

Oh, that was why.

Not that anyone needed another reason after everything Stonebanks had done, but still. That would explain the personal side of the mission. He remembered when he'd lost his unit in the desert. He couldn't even imagine if one of them had turned on him. He closed the file and put it back in Barney's bag. He wasn't one to share stories that weren't his to tell.

[Lee]

He'd gone back to Hale's place to make sure that everything was ok. It was normally Toll's job, but he didn't feel like going to Tool's. He was watching a cooking show while drinking and playing with one of his knives.

He was pissed.

The man on TV began to talk about why it was important to have a good knife while cooking, and Christmas scoffed. He had a shitload more reasons why a good knife was important, not that it mattered now, if he believed Barney's bullshit.

He felt the anger rising. Barney was abandoning them to go kill himself. He threw his knife in the screen and got up.

''Not bloody fucking likely, you bastard.'' He turned off the TV and got out.

He'd buy a new one later. Barney needed him.

[Doc]

He was looking at his knife without seeing it. He was haunted by the picture on the small table of his room at Tool's. He didn't want to go back in his loft, and Toll had offered him Yang's room. He took his phone and called the man. Enough was enough.

''Look, I didn't want to leave a message like that in case someone would hear it, but I am fucking done waiting. I know about Gabrielle. I know why you're gone. And God help me if you don't call me back, I will tell…'' Doc began before he heard a click.

''I will be back soon,'' Tool said, and Doc sighed.

''Jesus fuck brother where the hell are you?'' Doc asked, relieved that his friend was at least still breathing.

''I can't tell you, not now,'' Tool said. '' I am with Booker.''

''That fucker still alive?'' Doc asked, and he heard someone laugh.

''That fucker can hear you,'' Booker commented, and Doc smiled.

''Missed you guys. Now what the fuck is going on?'' Doc asked, and Tool sighed.

''I couldn't tell Barney, or any of them. I couldn't risk it while Stonebanks and Woodsman are still out there,'' Tool explained. ''I need Barney focused in case either of them takes a shot at him.''

''Well you should've checked your messages then,'' Doc accused.

''What do you mean?'' Tool asked.

''Barney just hired a bunch of kids to go after Stonebanks himself,'' Doc said, and when he didn't hear anything back, he added, ''you still there?''

''Yeah, that's just…. We have to stop him, now,'' Tool said, and Doc could sense the fear in his voice.

''He's already gone, Trench's with him,'' Doc said.

''Fuck,'' Tool growled. ''Fuck, we have GOT to stop them.''

''Tool could you be any more vague?'' Doc asked, not liking his tone at all.

''Gabrielle,'' Tool said simply.

''Yeah, I know you found her,'' Doc said, worry slipping through his voice. ''I know Woodsman has the body; I saw the picture.''

''No, you don't get it. This picture is about three months old. She's been 'dead' for six,'' Tool said, his voice shaking. ''Gabrielle is alive.''

Doc opened his mouth, but no sound came out of it.

''As I said, I will be back soon. In the meanwhile, I'll call Trench,'' Tool said.

''And the others?'' Doc asked.

''It's time someone tells them,'' Tool answered. ''I don't have anything else to tell you apart from the fact that Vilain was working for Stonebanks. The syringe that Booker found most likely contained a poison called Black Night. I have no idea where either Woodsman or Gabrielle currently are, but I can tell you that Conrad was behind all of this, and that can't be good.''

''Holy shit,'' Doc said before he got up. ''I'll go tell 'em. Be careful.''

''As always. And please watch out for Gunnar. Ask the guys for help, if need be. Tell them I am sorry, but I had to be sure first,'' Tool replied before he hung up.

Doc took his phone and texted the others.

Shit was about to hit the fan.

[B&L]

They were waiting for the signal. Luna kept looking at Barney and he kept ignoring her. She let out an exaggerated sigh, and he tapped his finger against the wheel.

''So, why'd you let your team go?'' she asked softly.

''If you stick around long enough, you'll buy it,'' Barney said. ''It was time.''

Luna frowned. She knew Barney had been in the game for a long time. Hell, she hadn't even needed the introduction by Bonaparte back in the Bar where they found her. The man was kind of a legend. Still, she didn't think he was that kind of guy that didn't have any emotions at all. You can't run a team that long without caring at least a little.

''They didn't seem too happy about it,'' Luna pointed out, and Barney was reminded of the conversation he had with his daughter. He shook himself mentally. He couldn't go there.

''If you're looking to go the family route, it's the wrong job for you,'' Barney said, and Luna could feel the pain in his words. She wondered what had happened to him while Barney was trying his best to shut down his feelings.

''There are different kinds of family,'' Luna replied, and Barney closed his eyes for a few seconds. ''And when my life is on the line, it's my family fighting with me.''

Barney looked at her, and for a second, he could see Gabrielle talking to him. He knew she would agree with Luna. Hell, she would probably have followed him too.

''You know what I mean,'' Luna stated.

''Yeah, I know what you mean,'' Barney agreed, turning to look at the road in front of him. ''She used to say the same kind of things before she died.''

He didn't know why he'd talked about her out loud, but he could see, from the corner of his eyes, Luna turning to him with a surprised look on her face.

''Who?'' she asked, almost whispering.

'' Gabrielle, the love of my life,'' he said, his voice barely above a whisper. ''My daughter.''

Luna wasn't one to be overly emotional, but when she saw the tears in Barney's eyes, she almost cried herself. She understood better now why he'd let his team go.

''I am so sorry,'' she said, sincere.

''Me too,'' Barney said seconds before they got the signal.

[Trench]

He was waiting at the meeting point when his phone rang.

''Well, it was about time. Where the fuck were you? You know it's a shit show down, here right?'' Trench asked.

''Is he still with you?'' Tool asked with panic in his voice, and Trench frowned.

''No, the plan was put in motion about half an hour ago. Why?'' Trench asked. ''You want to explain to him why you ghosted us? I hope you got a good reason cause even though I am glad you're alive and well, I…'' Tool interrupted him.

''Gabrielle is alive,'' Tool said, and Trench stopped talking, trying to process the information. ''I know I should have warned you; I know I should have been there, but Booker and I had to make sure before telling you all, especially Barney.''

''But she died. We saw her,'' Trench said, his anger vanishing.

''No, she didn't. Listen, it was Stonebanks. The Vilain mission, the syringe, Gabrielle's death, the trap. Everything,'' Tool said, and Trench felt his blood drain from his face.

The more his brain was trying to process the information, the more it made sense. Why had Gabrielle been followed? How could have Vilain known who the job would go to? Fuck, Gabrielle probably had a target on her back as soon as Barney had brought her home with him and…

Now it made sense why Tool hadn't told Barney. The man was already at the breaking point. He didn't need the added guilt. Even thought Gabrielle was still alive, there was no way Stonebanks wouldn't fuck with her mind, let alone her body. He felt a wave of nausea. Fuck, they had to find her as soon as possible.

''You get it, now don't you?'' Tool asked, and Trench looked at the sky.

''I fucking wish I didn't,'' he said, his voice shaking. ''I'll try to reach Barney. Get the guys. We're going to find her and kill Conrad Stonebanks.''

He hung up and tried to call Barney, or any of the kids. He even tried Yang, even though the man was on a job. Nobody answered.

He let himself fall on a chair and took his head in his hands. He could remember her laugh, her smile.

''What will be left of you mein schatz?'' he whispered to himself while a single tear rolled down his cheek.

[Tool's]

The first one to arrive at Tool's was Christmas. Doc looked at him and Christmas scoffed.

''What? You're looking at me like the world ended,'' Lee said with a sarcastic tone, and Doc shook his head.

''Just sit down and wait for the others Christmas,'' Doc instructed, and Lee took out his phone to see the text.

He looked up at Doc again and went to take a seat. It only took a couple more minutes for the others to arrive.

''So, what is this all about?'' Toll asked, and Doc pulled out the picture he'd been hiding on him at the Hangar.

''Is that…'' Toll began, and when Doc nodded to confirm, the others took a closer look to it.

''That's the reason why Tool left. I didn't say anything because I only heard back from him earlier today, and I didn't know anything except that this is Woodsman with Gabrielle,'' Doc explained.

''Why didn't he said he'd found her?!'' Lee demanded, outraged. ''We could have helped to bring her back. And what about this bastard who stole her body? Who the fuck is Woodsman?''

''An old member of the Expendables,'' Gunnar explained, and they all looked at him. ''When I came back from the hospital, Tool mentioned him. Then I asked Barney. They thought he'd died in the last mission Tool worked on before we came along. They tried to save him but couldn't.''

Gunnar then took the picture in his hands and looked at her. There was something off. He frowned.

''Her hair is different,'' he said. ''Shorter than the day she…''

He couldn't finish that sentence.

''Yes, it is,'' Doc said before he took a deep breath. ''Tool didn't say anything because he had to know, to make sure that…''

''That what?'' Lee asked, clearly irritated.

''That picture was taken three months ago,'' he said, and Toll felt his heart skip a beat.

''She died six months ago,'' he said, and Doc kept looking at him.

''No, she… she died!'' Toll said a little louder, shock written all over his face.

''Stop fucking with us!'' Lee shouted.

''He isn't,'' Tool said from the doorway. ''And Barney's in trouble. We've got to find them both, now.''

They looked at him for less than a second before they went to gather their stuff.

It didn't matter how much time had passed; she was family.

They would bring her home.