Hello everybody!
Last one for tonight.
I do have to warn you, this chapter has A LOT of TRIGGERS in it.
Please be careful.
Enjoy your reading!
Pavs.
Chapter Twenty-Seven: After My Last Breath
[Gabrielle]
I felt like I was drowning. I tried to scream, but I couldn't. Something was removed from my throat, and I coughed while trying to breathe. Why wasn't I dead?
''Could you just give her another dose?! I've got better things to do than listening to that bitch choking,'' a man said before everything faded to black again.
.
I woke up again to find myself chained to a small bed. I managed to get to a sitting position and looked at myself. I was naked, bloody and bruised. The only thing I had on was a bandage to cover my gunshot wound on my shoulder. I shivered, wondering what the fuck had happened.
Where was my family? Gunnar? Had we lost? I looked at the small room and felt my anxiety rising. There were no windows, only one metal door and concrete floors and walls. I looked at the ceiling and saw two security cameras. I felt like crying. How the fuck was I supposed to get out of this mess alive? I heard the lock and tried to cover myself as best as I could, trying not to think of the recordings they probably already had of me.
A man entered the room, and I felt my blood freeze in my veins. It wasn't that he was that imposing- he actually made me think of my adoptive father, in a way. He was tall, good looking, and wore expensive clothes. His hair was greyish, and his eyes blue. He was the perfect picture of a gentlemen.
Except for the fact that I knew he wasn't. Not with the way he was looking at me. I couldn't explain why, but this man's demeanor screamed danger. He got closer, and I tried not to panic. I couldn't let him get to me.
''Well, my dear Gabrielle, it seems you really do look just like your father,'' he said in a cold, detached voice that gave me goose bumps. ''You know, I myself had this same type of wake-up call before. Harsh, isn't it?''
I kept looking at him without answering, and he smiled.
''Wow. You even have the Ross stare. Did anybody ever tell you that?'' the man mocked. ''No? Oh well. Where are my manners? My name is Stonebanks, Conrad Stonebanks.''
He extended his hand, and I didn't move.
''Well, Vilain didn't really have time to show you respect, as far as I can see. The man was obsessed with it, you know?'' Stonebanks continued, and I couldn't stop myself from scoffing.
''Ah, so she does understand,'' Stonebanks said as I debated the way to deal with him.
I couldn't just respond to his provocation, no matter how big of a mess my mind was proving to be. I had to calm down and figure out a way to get out of here. Yang's advice came to mind: information, then action.
''He worked for you?'' I asked, and Stonebanks nodded.
''She's intelligent too,'' Conrad replied, as sarcastic as possible.
When I didn't speak for a while, he sighed.
''Look, I am not insensible. I have a daughter too, you know?'' he told me before he turned to the door and screamed. ''Woodsman!''
A man appeared in the doorway. His hair was as black as his eyes, and he had a scar on the right side of his pale face that went from his hairline to his neck. He was just as tall as Gunnar and as muscular as Hale. He was fucking terrifying. I finally noticed a pile of clothes in his hands as he came to put them on the bed.
''Make sure she stays put. I'll come back later,'' Stonebanks ordered, and Woodsman nodded.
He waited for Stonebanks to close the door before he unlocked the chains so I could get up and get dressed. I looked at him for a moment before I realized that he would not look away from me. I tried to refrain from crying and got up to get dressed. He had brought me sports underwear and white scrubs with pockets.
''I'll be back.'' He spoke with a deep calm voice that somehow didn't sound like a threat at all.
He took the chains with him, banged on the door so Stonebanks men would let him out, and left me alone in the room. I sat on the bed and felt something fall out of one of the pockets. I looked down on the floor to see the moon pendant Lee had gotten me for my birthday.
''Christmas,'' I whispered.
I grabbed it from the floor and tried to put it on with shaking hands. I had barely managed to get it on before I lost it and started sobbing uncontrollably.
''I got you. It's ok.'' I heard Lee's voice say in the back of my mind again and again, just like he had told me that day. I tried to calm down enough so I could try and sleep. I would need all my strength, if only to try and respect the promises I'd made to him.
''I promise I won't give up on you too.''
''Never,'' I whispered to myself as I finally managed to get some sleep.
.
It all went to shit so fast it made my head spin. Or maybe it was the concussion. My whole body was in pain, and I couldn't remember why I thought it would be a good idea to try and go past the guards. I felt my moon pendant jabbing my neck, and I tried to open my eyes. I'd promised.
I'd promised. And Gunnar. Gunnar needed me, just like I needed him, and my dad, and Tool. All of them, really. I couldn't let them down… could I? It hurt so much. I heard the door open, and I tried to get on my feet, only to fall back again.
''Don't try and go too fast,'' my dad's voice said.
Wait, my dad? Why were we back in the truck? No, not the truck. The room. Woodsman. Shit, it was getting confusing.
''I know you don't remember me,'' he whispered while bringing me to the bed, and I laughed.
''But I do,'' I said, and he frowned.
''No, you don't. You don't remember anything, or anyone,'' he insisted, and the excuse I had for a brain caught his meaning before I passed out.
.
I was hurting again. I looked around me, and I felt the panic rising. Where was I? What was happening? I felt a sharp pain in my head and swore. I could hear voices, familiar voices that came in with a range of strong emotions. I noticed a chain around my neck. A moon pendant was attached to it.
Was it a gift? It felt like one. Christmas? No, birthday. But Christmas was related to it somehow. And blue eyes? Not his. His? Christmas was a person, male. That must have been it. And the blue, why was I thinking about Sweden? Gunnar.
Gunnar. My lover.
Christmas. Unknown but important.
Barney. My dad.
Tool. My dad too.
Toll. My museum friend.
Hale. My food friend.
Yang. Trustworthy.
Trench. Unidentified but safe.
The more I tried to remember past that, the stronger the pain. But I had to remember. I had to. But not to say out loud. Why not? Apparently, it was too much because I turned on my side just in time to throw up, which happened to coincide with someone opening the door.
''Hello, Gabrielle,'' said a man with a smile.
Gabrielle. Me.
Him. Dangerous.
''I am so sorry to put you in an isolated room like this, but you are sick, and we didn't know if it was contagious,'' explained the man while I was trying to sit up. ''My name is Conrad Stonebanks, and you are Gabrielle Stonebanks. My daughter.''
This felt wrong. I looked at a man entering behind him. His serious face would have been dead scary if I didn't know any better. Why did I?
''And this is James Woodsman,'' continued Conrad. ''We've been attacked by a group of mercenaries called the Expendables.''
''I am well aware that I am not the best person to talk to you about this, but if you have any questions, I may have answers,'' Yang offered as I finally put the gun down.
''One of them, British I think, got you pretty bad,'' added Stonebanks.
''You have every right to feel the way you do. Don't ever let anyone tell you otherwise,'' Lee said. ''I know it's scary. I know everything is different, but we still love you, even if we're not showing it the same way we used to. But the fact that we could lose you, the idea that you're involved against your will, or before you, or even us, were ready…it is scaring the fuck out of us too. But I meant what I said, I will be there.''
''Don't look so upset darling; it's not your fault. Barney fooled you with his friend. He made sure you would trust him, going as far as making you fall for that Swedish guy, Gunnar,'' Conrad went on when the tears started to roll down my cheeks.
''Gunnar has had some serious problems in the past, Gabrielle, enough so that we can't ignore them,'' Barney explained.
''It can't be that bad…'' I tried.
''He is…was...unstable. For fuck's sake we are mercenaries! I am experienced, Gabrielle, don't get me wrong, and even I wouldn't want to go after Gunnar if he was in a good mood, let alone a bad one,'' Barney admitted, fear replacing his anger.
''He won't hurt me,'' I insisted, stubbornly. ''I just know it. He doesn't…he doesn't hurt children nor women now does he?''
''No,'' Barney shook his head, ''but we can't know for sure that his past really is behind him.''
''I refuse to think that he's a bad man,'' I said, and I could see Barney's patience running out.
''He almost killed Yang and betrayed us for meth!'' Barney exclaimed while I looked like I'd been slapped in the face.
''Is that how you talk about your friends after you 'helped' them?'' I asked, and Barney felt himself at a loss of words.
''I mean it, can you believe this? Going after my daughter is bad enough, but playing with you?'' Stonebanks said with a cold laugh.
Gunnar's door was open. I entered the room, only to find it empty. I'd been standing in front of the mess that was supposed to be a bedroom for a while when Lee walked in. He was close enough to notice that I was crying.
''He's gone,'' I said with a broken voice.
''Acting like they're my friends...our friends, like family?'' asked Conrad, outraged.
They gave me two packages each with numbers on them. I took the one that had 1 written on it and opened it before opening the package with 2 on it. The one from Hale was a flask, and the other was from Toll, which included a tank toy. I started laughing and flipped them off.
''Awe come on you know you love us!'' Hale cried, shaking with laughter.
''It was epic,'' Toll said with a wicked smile. ''Worth the trouble that came after.''
.
''NO, YOU DON'T!'' Tool exclaimed with an almost desperate tone. ''You don't deserve to be dead, you hear me? You saved us. You fucking saved us even before you knew it. You saved us as soon as Barney received that call to come and find you. And we both fucking love you. We all love you. I made mistakes, Gabrielle, mistakes that I won't make twice by letting you jump off a fucking bridge. You are a part of what makes me good. I will never give up on you, so don't you dare give up on me by hating yourself!''
''We're going to make them pay for this, and James here is going to help you get ready for it,'' Conrad said while pointing at Woodsman.
''Gabrielle, look at me. I want you to breathe slowly,'' Trench said to me, and I did so. ''Now, we are going to sit down and talk about everything. One step at a time. Ok?''
''I won't give up until they pay. You hear me?'' Stonebanks said with a finality to his tone.
''You're everything,'' Lee whispered before he kissed her. ''And I never could've abandoned you. I never will, no matter how you want me in your life.''
''Yes, I do,'' I whispered with a shaking voice.
Stonebanks and Woodsman both looked at me with a satisfied expression before they left. I couldn't cry. I couldn't speak. I couldn't even make sense of what I was remembering. So, I made a list in my head:
Gunnar. Gone.
Christmas. There.
Barney. My dad.
Tool. Family.
Toll. Friend.
Hale. Friend.
Yang. Answers.
Trench. Help.
[Woodsman]
''It seems like your plan worked after all,'' noted James Woodsman, and Conrad offered him a wicked smile.
It made him want to rip the man to pieces.
''Yes, it looks like it did,'' replied Stonebanks. ''Anyway, keep a close eye on her, will you? If she's inherited Ross incapacity to just fucking do what is asked of him, or his tendency of not staying down when shot, then we'll have to change the approach.''
James nodded, and Stonebanks sighed.
''What?'' he asked, clearly irritated.
''Why not just kill her?'' Woodsman asked.
This was torture to a whole other level. He knew that Conrad had gone dark, but this plan of his was a whole new shade of black.
''I'm sorry, Woodsman,'' Stonebanks began with a sarcastic tone. ''Why didn't Tool just leave you to die, or why didn't Barney just shoot me after YEARS of fighting together? Oh, wait. THEY FUCKING DID!''
James took a deep breath and turned to the door. He went to his room and took his head in his hands. Stonebanks had always been unpredictable, but it had reached new heights in the most recent years. He had not seen it at first, but they had gotten closer and closer to the line, right up until it became such a blur that they'd crossed it ten times before he'd noticed. But Stonebanks hadn't, and his righteousness had put them in situations where they would have been the ones hired to take them down if they had still been a part of the Expendables.
He may have been angry with Barney and Tool, but time, as well as hidden information that Conrad had kept from him, had calmed him the fuck down. Not soon enough though, and Stonebanks had to know it. James couldn't hide his disgust and shame anymore when they went on drug deals and took part in both human and weapon trafficking. But he couldn't get out now. He was in so deep that he couldn't remember what the sun had looked like. Not that he felt like he didn't deserve it. That's why he'd followed Stonebanks in his new 'project'.
Then he'd seen her in the ambulance, Gabrielle. It could have been her file, as big as a novel, that described her as unique as she was beautiful. It could have been the fact that he found her even more stunning in person, even with all the blood, bruises, and cuts covering her.
But it was her eyes, Barney's eyes.
Redemption.
He took a bottle of whiskey and decided to knock himself out or else he wouldn't sleep. He would be haunted by her, by them. And he needed all the focus he could get if he was to get her the fuck back home.
[Gabrielle]
I'd been recovering for a couple of days now, although I couldn't tell how many. Time was like a blur, and my memories were even worse. I had a feeling that something was very wrong, though, no matter how much better I was getting and the fancy room I was now in. I hadn't realised that we were in an actual small castle before, not that I could've known from the windowless room I'd been in upon my arrival.
Nothing made sense anymore. I closed my eyes as I let my fingers brush my scars. The gunshot wounds had closed, as well as other nasty cuts. The bruises had faded too. I heard someone knocking, and I sighed in relief.
James Woodsman was the only one always knocking, always asking for permission. Not that anyone ever acted inappropriately in my presence, but it felt…off. Not to mention the memories. It never fit with Conrad's words.
''Gabrielle?'' asked Woodsman, effectively stopping my train of thought, and I looked at him.
He was still at the door. I nodded, and he entered the room.
''Sir,'' I said respectfully, and he got closer.
''James,'' he corrected me in a half-whisper.
I offered him a sad smile. He'd somehow stopped looking scary to me. It probably had a lot to do with the fact that he was always very gentle in my presence.
''Have you had breakfast?'' he asked me, and I smiled.
''Why? Do they not feed you?'' I asked, and I could see the fear in his eyes.
It triggered something in me, like I should know that food wouldn't always be there.
I contained my tears and put on some makeshift bandages on my deepest cuts. Then I managed to get dressed and went to look for food. There wasn't much, but I wasn't about to complain. I didn't look into the fridge. I wasn't even sure it was working. The place looked more like a hunting cabin than an actual house, but it was better than nothing.
''Gabrielle?'' James asked as I came back to reality, and I could feel the tension in the room.
But where had that memory come from?
''I'm fine, I just…what were you saying?'' I asked, and he frowned.
''I was telling you that we were going to start training today. I know you are still sore, but your father insisted,'' James explained, and I felt my heart beating in my temples.
''I, um, I have something to ask you,'' I said, and Trench frowned. ''First of all, not my father or Tool, or any of the guys really, have any idea I came here. I did because I am sick and tired of feeling helpless, and I thought that…''
''So, if you're ready?'' concluded James to what must have been an explanation.
But my mind was elsewhere.
''Work for me,'' Trench said, and I looked at him like he'd grown a second head. ''I taught you enough for you to be able to work on the plane, and I will teach you more about mechanics and stuff. When I feel that you are ready, I will teach you how to defend yourself with light hand to hand combat techniques and with a bigger variety of firearms.''
I looked at him, and he sighed before making a cup of tea. The smell was familiar; the cup felt wrong. I could almost picture someone else laughing before handing me the right one. But the memory was gone as soon as it appeared.
I drank, trying to focus. I couldn't forget.
Gunnar. Gone.
Christmas. Moon pendant.
Barney. Father.
Tool. Family.
Toll. Friend.
Yang. Answers.
Trench. Help.
[Stonebanks]
That bitch was proving to be just as good as Barney. Well, genetics might have worked in that case. He hoped that he would be able to turn her to his side permanently. She was a pretty, deadly little thing.
''She's good,'' Isaacs commented, and Stonebanks nodded.
''Hopefully to our advantage,'' replied Conrad. He did love his women with enough fight in them to make it a challenge to break them.
''Speak for yourself,'' scoffed Isaacs, and Conrad laughed.
Of course, his right hand wanted to take a piece to himself. There was a reason they were friends after all. And he would, but only after he was done with her.
She was his.
[Gabrielle]
James Woodsman was not easy to please. We'd been working mostly on getting back in shape when he'd introduced hand to hand combat. I was better than I expected to be, but then again, my memory wasn't good to begin with. I still tried not to lose too much, I didn't want to forget who was the enemy. I briefly thought about a man who'd warned me about that once before I found myself knocked to the ground.
The memory was gone as well as my breath, and Woodsman extended his hand to help me get up.
''You all right?'' he asked, and I nodded. I closed my eyes and made my list again.
Gunnar. Gone.
Christmas. Moon pendant.
Barney. Father.
Tool. Family.
Toll. Friend.
Trench. Help.
.
[Woodsman]
He was looking at the blood on the floor and felt like screaming. She'd been good, too good. It was muscle memory, which was too much memory for Conrad Stonebanks. James looked at one of his men, who was washing the floor. He didn't even dare think of how bad it would have been if the girl had let it slip that she actually did remember some things from her past.
He turned around and went to his room, locked his door behind him, and punched the fuck out of the wall. This was sick. She shouldn't be there. He HAD to get her out before she died or worse…before Stonebanks succeeded.
He closed his eyes, and the only thoughts that came to him were of Gabrielle, or rather her permanently scarred arm. He wasn't faint of heart and had both done and seen more than his fair share of horrors, but that was personal. Twisted. Sordid.
Stonebanks didn't take no for an answer, so if she wasn't willingly his, he'd make her be. He felt a wave of nausea and couldn't held back his scream anymore.
''FUCK!'' he screamed has he hit the wall with his fists again.
He did so until he bled as much as those bloody letters on her.
Mine
No, she wasn't. Would never be. Not if he could do something about it, and he would.
He'd promised Barney while looking into her eyes.
''Redemption,'' he thought to himself as he began making plans in his head.
[Gabrielle]
My veins were on fire. I could feel the blood and sweat all over me, and my body hurt so bad that I almost wished I was dead. I felt someone touching me, and I panicked. It wasn't until I tried to get away that I noticed the handcuffs.
I started crying uncontrollably.
''Gabrielle, sweetheart, don't cry,'' said Stonebanks, and I lost any control that I ever had on myself.
''Please let me go! PLEASE!'' I cried, and he caressed my face with the tips of his fingers.
''Oh, but you are so beautiful,'' he said before licking my tears.
''NO, don't touch me!'' I begged, while hurting myself in an attempt to get out of the handcuffs.
''And you are just as delicious,'' he added with a twisted smile. ''Good thing we got some time together before I make it all go away. You are mine, and only mine. They are pain. That's the only thing you're allowed to remember from now on.''
I felt a sharp pain and let out a blood curling scream.
.
Blood. There was so much blood. Everywhere. I tried to get up but only managed to fall on the ground. Someone had put bandages on my left arm. I could remember someone screaming. Was it me? Oh yeah, the scar. That word. But I wasn't his. I was…
I felt the tears running down my cheeks as I held my moon pendant. I couldn't give up. I had to remember. I had promised Christmas that I wouldn't give up too.
There were others too. I couldn't forget them, my family. They'd always been there…not always. Not all of them. It was painful. Why couldn't I remember someone who's absence would be so painful? I tried to remember the list that I made. I had to.
Christmas. Moon pendant.
Barney. Father.
Tool. Family.
Toll. Friend.
Trench. Help.
[Woodsman]
He hadn't knocked this time. He had wanted to but had found the door slightly open. She was looking out her window, only dressed in a tank top and shorts. It was cold, but it didn't seem to bother her. She was so beautiful. He always knew, but looking at her lost in the moonlight like that…He shook himself mentally. She was Barney's daughter. She was in danger. He had to stay focused.
''It's beautiful, isn't it?'' she asked him softly, and he got closer.
''Yes, it is,'' he replied carefully.
She looked at him and frowned.
''What is it?'' she asked.
''I have to go on a mission. I thought I'd let you know. Be careful,'' he told her, and she nodded.
They both knew what he meant. Her memory might have been tampered with, but he knew her instincts were strong enough to know that Conrad meant danger. He looked at her for a few more seconds before he turned around and left.
[Stonebanks]
He looked at the camera footage and swore. Of course, Woodsman would fuck this up. He called for Isaacs, and the man appeared in his room moments later.
''It's time for you to have fun,'' Stonebanks said, and Isaacs smiled.
He was done playing nice.
[Woodsman]
It was a fucking bloodbath. He heard a phone ring, and he searched his assailant's pockets. It had almost gone to voicemail when he answered.
''Did you fix our problem?'' Stonebanks asked through the phone, and Woodsman hung up before he hurried out of the place, wondering how the situation had gotten so out of hand.
He couldn't go back to Moscow. Stonebanks would kill him on the spot. He was not supposed to survive that, and he knew it. He was fucked. He went back to his motel room, burned all of his stuff, and erased all evidence of his stay before he took off to wherever the fuck his cab would take him. He borrowed the driver's phone and called in the only favors he had left that Stonebanks wasn't aware of. Then he told the driver to bring him to a private airport. Beijing was not as far as he would've liked, but it was better than being dead where he was.
[Gabrielle]
I could taste the blood in my mouth and the ropes burning my flesh around my wrists and ankles. I looked at the door, waiting, hoping for Woodsman to show.
''He won't be coming, ever again,'' Isaacs said in a cold voice. ''You know, you actually impress me. With all the fucking poison we've injected in you, you should have gone insane. And yet, here we are.''
''What the fuck is that supposed to mean?'' I asked, and he slapped me again, making me bleed once more.
''It means that we haven't made you forget enough and that, hopefully, this modified version will suit our needs better. In the meantime, I will make sure that your training doesn't go down the drain,'' Isaacs explained as I felt my anger rising.
I couldn't let them win. I had promised.
''You've got 30 seconds to get out of these ropes before my men join us. Good luck,'' laughed Isaacs as I struggled to escape.
I knew a way; I had learned it before. I had trained before. I had…Isaacs's smile grew bigger as he said: ''Time's up.'' I felt my heart skip a beat.
I didn't remember. I was stuck in this chair.
I closed my eyes as the tears rolled down my cheeks, and I swore I could hear someone singing an old Austrian song.
I could still here the voice as I slowly lost consciousness from the pain.
Christmas. Moon pendant.
Barney. Father.
Tool. Family.
Toll. Friend.
.
I woke up on the floor. Of course, they wouldn't give me the courtesy of a fucking mattress. I swore as I got up. I was cold, naked, and bloody. Again. And I knew that because the poison didn't work as it should have. I had learned from Stonebanks's screams and the very dead scientist thrown in my cell that I had somehow managed to develop some sort resistance to the poison they were injecting into me. That was why I could still remember some things.
Then again, it wasn't much. I looked at my legs and found that my tattoos hadn't been spared this time. It somehow upset me more than what they'd done to me before I woke up, and I didn't know why. It felt like this was as important as the chain around my neck, as the names I had forgotten and those I still fought to remember.
The door opened, and someone threw a pile of clothes at me. I got dressed and waited, looking at the bleeding wounds all over my legs and thighs, feeling like my soul was bleeding through them.
Suddenly, I felt like if there'd been a bridge, I'd jump off it in a heartbeat.
Because no one would tell me not too.
Christmas. Moon pendant.
Barney. Father.
Toll. Friend.
.
I had won. It made me fucking sick, but I did. I looked at Stonebanks and could see his wicked smile.
''Finally,'' he said, and I almost threw up.
A father shouldn't be proud of his daughter killing people. A father should not torture his daughter to make her stronger. It was wrong. He was wrong. But I couldn't explain why.
I couldn't give up either.
Christmas. Moon pendant.
Toll. Friend.
.
I could hear the songs on the radio. I wasn't in my cell anymore, not since my father had handed me a file with pictures of the man who'd tortured me. It felt wrong, but I went with it, feeling it was better that way.
''Merry Christmas, Gabrielle,'' said Conrad, and I smiled at him politely, fighting not to touch that moon pendant of mine.
Like it would get me in trouble somehow.
''Merry Christmas,'' I replied as I fought the urge to cry.
''Merry Christmas, Toll,'' I thought to myself.
Friend.
.
''So, Gabrielle, how is the training going?'' Stonebanks asked, and I forced myself to smile.
''Fine,'' I answered, and he nodded.
''I know I am pushing you too hard, so I thought we could walk together and maybe take a look at the paintings I just received. What do you say?'' he offered, and I nodded.
He motioned for his staff to get rid of the food, and I got up from my chair, following him through the hallways. We arrived at the ballroom, and I saw a beautiful painting. I felt my heart ache for a safe place, for my home. I could almost feel someone's hand in mine, hear his voice explaining some unknown facts about it. Was it the colors? It looked so familiar…
''Happy 24th birthday, Gabrielle,'' said Stonebanks, and I felt the tears running down my cheeks.
I couldn't remember the man. Or any of them. I'd forgotten home.
I touched my moon pendant and felt waves of sadness.
Then I heard shots being fired, heard people screaming and running. Stonebanks pushed me into another room, and I came face to face with a man that seemed familiar.
''Gabrielle,'' he said, and I fell to my knees.
My head was too loud, the pain was too much. The man picked me from the ground and ran.
''Who are you?'' was the last thing I asked before my world went dark.