Susan always felt in a different, indefinable way about Peter. When he tells her that he is adopted, that feelings clear up.
Disowner; Narnia and all her delightful creatures aren't mine. Exept for a few characters, later in the story.
KibumiWong: Thank you thank you thank you! God, I'm everytime absolutely delighted by your reviews:)
Living Beauty: Here you go:P
Dittany: Yes, I think so too. It gives a pretty hard twist to the perspectives. Happy you like it!
Celine K.S: Don't bother, me too. And the rest should do so too, looking at the fact that a twelve years old Richard Dempsey isn't exactly sexy and neither does he look like eightteen, like he is in my story. Especially in comparison to indeed the very nice William Moseley. With the BBC-version, I mean I've used pieces of the script, and the BBC-way of happenings, not the picture of the actors. For example; in the film Lucy finds the wardrobe while playing hide and seek. In the BBC-version, Lucy finds the wardrobe when they are exploring the house. And for the second time; William Moseley as Peter is just so sexy. And also when I think Edmund, I see Skandar Keynes, who is definately my favourite of those two.
IV. In which Peter, Edmund and Susan lose Lucy out of sight, and try to find her in places beyond imagination
"Well, I'm kind of ashamed to admit this -" Lucy gave Susan a big smile and Susan hesitated. Then she broke her eyes away from the eight-year-old and looked at Peter and Edmund, "- but I've been playing along with her. We were sitting in the wardrobe, waiting for you to find us, and we were bored. And yes, I know I'm too old for such rubbish, but after all Lucy is my little sister."
She patted Lucy's head. Lucy's jaw dropped. Did she just say that? Did she just actually say that? Why? Why was she lying? This was the kind of thing she would expect from Edmund, but Susan…
"You are so –" Lucy started, but when her tears started to fall, she broke the sentence off and just ran away. Peter, Edmund and Susan watched her until she was out of sight. Well, that was nicely handled! Susan told herself reprovingly.
"Wow," there was a sound of impression in Edmund's voice, "I didn't think you could make Lucy cry by just playing along!" he scratched the back of his neck with a puzzled expression on his face, "Actually I didn't think you could make Lucy cry at all. I'm quitting, by the way."
Edmund left the same way Lucy went, and Susan looked at Peter. He was just staring at her. She glanced down to the floor with a growing feeling of guilt in her chest.
"I would never have expected this from you," he said. Tears gathered in Susan's eyes. If he only knew. She didn't know how much damage the queen – no, the White Witch – could do to her siblings.
"Peter, I'm so-"
"What good do you think it'll do to one minute tell her to stop going on about her magical Wardrobe-land, and then encouraging her the next?"
"It's all rubbish," Susan said, not looking up from the ground.
"Ofcourse it is! That is just the point!" Peter looked Susan in the eyes. Why? It wasn't even Lucy. It was more the fact that she was lying to him at all, "Now let's go and find Lucy."
"I don't care what you think!" Lucy yelled. She was sitting on a chair, with her back turned towards Susan and Peter, "I don't care what you say!"
Peter glanced at Susan.
"Lucy, don't make us go and tell –"
"You can tell the professor! Or mother!" Lucy stood up. Peter would never have thought that it could be so terrifying to have an eight-year-old girl yelling at you. But then again, he would also never have thought that a seventeen-year-old girl would set that eight-year-old girl up to doing this.
"You can do anything you like! But I know I've been there. I know I've met a faun!" Lucy pointed at Peter, "You are ignorant!" and then at Susan, "And you are a liar!"
Then she ran away. Peter glanced at Susan. She looked like she could faint any minute. How could he stay mad at a girl so vulnerable, ashamed and sad. And after all, playing a game wasn't a crime.
"Oh, come here, I forgive you, Sue," Peter said and he pulled Susan into a friendly hug, "Sorry for yelling at you. But now we should go and see the professor. I'm really worried!"
"Come in!"
Peter and Susan stepped into the cozy office of the professor. He was sitting at his desk, and looked up them.
"Well! How nice. Peter and Susan,"
Peter and Susan nodded and walked forward to the desk.
"We don't mean to interrupt," Susan said, hoping they would be sent away. The professor sat back in his chair.
"Young lady, I'm afraid I am always absolutely delighted to be interrupted! If one would never be interrupted, life would be nothing but work," the old man made Susan smile, "I am at your disposal. Grab some chairs."
Peter and Susan sat down in front of the desk.
"It is our sister, sir," Peter said, "She thinks she has found a magic land in the wardrobe upstairs. She doesn't stop talking about it. And when we say we don't believe her and that she should stop, she starts crying or gets angry!" He looked at Susan. She was looking at the floor and appeared a little pale, "So we wondered if you could give us some advice, because we really don't know what to do."
The professor put his glasses down on the wooden desk, and clapped his hands together.
"I would like to know, children, how often does your sister lie?"
"Well, that's just the funny thing, sir," Peter said, "Normally I would have said never, but now I'm doubting that."
"Okay then, first of all, how do you know for sure your sister isn't telling the truth?" he asked. Peter stared at him.
"The truth?" he said. "A magic country, in a wardrobe?"
"That is more than I know," the professor said seriously, and he straightened his back, "But to accuse an honest person of lying is a very serious thing. A very serious thing indeed."
"I'm afraid –" Peter started, looking at Susan for support (which he didn't get, and it didn't seem like he was going to get it later either), "-that it might not even be lying. I think there might be something… wrong with her."
"Madness, you mean? Oh no, I can be easy about that," the professor said, waving Peter's suggestion away, "One would only have to look at her and talk to her, to know that she is not mad."
"But then-"
"Oh, logic! Why don't they teach logic on these schools?" the professor exclaimed, "Look, there are only three possibilities. Either your sister is one; telling lies, or two; she is mad, or three; she is telling the truth. One; you say that your sister never lies, two; it is perfectly obvious that she is not mad. So for the moment, until other evidence turns up, we must assume three; she is telling the truth."
Peter threw Susan look-for-support number tenthousand, but now permanently concluded that he wasn't going to get any support at all, since she never returned the look, and during the whole conversation hadn't said a word. He turned to the professor again.
"But how can it be true?" he asked.
"Why do you say that?"
"Well, Lucy said that Susan went too," Susan looked up a little startled, "But according to Susan they were only pretending!"
"Now were you?" the professor's gaze pierced Susan's. She didn't answer, but as soon his gaze released hers, it dropped to the floor again.
"I think I know enough," the professor said, and he turned to Peter, "You need to have a good conversation with your sister. And leave the other sister out of it."
So then Susan and Peter were outside again.
"Why didn't you say anything?" Peter asked. Susan shrugged and looked away from him. Peter sighed annoyed, "Oh, nevermind. Go do something. I'm going to have a talk with Lucy. And you're left out, like the professor said."
Susan watched Peter walking down the long hallway.
"I'm afraid I am not the sister that has to be left out of this," she said, when he was out of hearing range. She doubted her decision. Was it fair to have Lucy called crazy, when she wasn't and Susan's word was the only evidence of that? No. But then again, was it fair to put all four of them in potential danger, just to let Lucy experience the satisfaction of the words 'told you'? Neither. Susan walked to the room what they saw as their own livingroom, and sat down on the couch, next to Edmund. The sixteen-year-old boy was resting his crossed legs on the coffeetable and was reading the same comicbook as he was reading before they did hide and seek.
"Hey, overgrown toddler," he said, "Did I mention the footbalfield in the bathroomcupboard? Maybe Lucy and you should go and see that."
Susan ignored him, and grabbed a magazine.
"I can't believe you actually played along with her," Edmund said smirking, "We just think you're seventeen, but you really are only five."
"If you are trying to get me to insult you; that is not going to happen tonight," Susan said, tired from Edmund's childish talk.
"No, I'm not trying to make you insult me. Cause however hard I'll try, you'll never manage to do just that," Edmund replied. Susan sighed annoyed.
"Oh, can you at least pretend to be sixteen?"
"I don't have to pretend to do that. I was born sixteen years ago,"
"Don't try to smart me out, baby brother,"
"I've just done that!"
"Oh, shut up,"
"Make me!"
Peter watched the picture of Susan trying to kill Edmund while he was yelling at her rather choked insults. He made a little sound to make them conscious of his presence. Susan was the first one to react.
"How did it go?"
"I can't find her," Peter said. Susan sighed. She knew where Lucy was, and wished she could tell Peter. Edmund pushed her off.
"Probably in one of her – cough – magic lands," he said, gasping for breath. Susan had almost suffocated him.
"Do you think she –" Peter started, looking at the ceiling.
"That she's in her wardrobe? Yes, probably," Edmund said. On that, Peter started walking to the stairs.
"Aah, I wanna see this!" Edmund said, and he followed Peter. Susan followed to.
"Ooh, come on guys, give her some time alone," Susan said, trying to stop them, "She is upset."
"Err, hello! I am not the one who made her upset in the first place!" Peter said, not turning around. Edmund grinned. Susan growled. They went all the way up to the attic, to spare room with the wardrobe.
"Lucy?" said Peter while he walked towards the wardrobe. The door was open, "Lucy? We're sorry for upsetting you. Come out, please."
No answer.
"Don't make me come in there, Lu," Peter said, voice stern. He looked behind him at Edmund and Susan.
"Oh my god, you've got to be kidding me," Peter muttered to himself, and he stepped into the wardrobe.
"Oh, Peter, come on out!" Susan said, while she stepped into the wardrobe, trying to pull him out. But then Edmund stepped into.
"Go back, Edmund!" Susan growled at her younger brother, "It's not big enough."
"No," said Edmund simply.
"Edmund!" Peter yelled, when Edmund let go of the door, "Hold that door! NEVER shut yourself in a –" there was a loud click and complete darkness "-wardrobe."
"Shit," Edmund muttered.
"Well, thank you Ed! You screwed up!" Susan said, perfectly aware of the absence of Narnia. A sudden yelp from Peter made her jump.
"ED, MY TOES!"
"I'm not on your toes!"
Edmund pushed Susan aside, right into Peter's arms.
"Watch where you're going!" Susan said, not moving, for Peter's arms wasn't the worst place to be. Especially at times like these, although she was kind of worried about Edmund so close to them.
"How am I supposed to watch where I'm going?" Edmund growled, "There is nothing to watch and neither is there a place to go. And it is so damn dark in here!"
Peter heard him move through the closet, and tightened his grip around Susan's waist. She didn't protest, so he assumed it was okay. He buried his face in her hair and inhaled the smell of her perfume.
"Like it?" Susan whispered. Peter grinned and she felt him nodding. Peter stroked her hair out of her neck, and pushed a long serie of soft kisses on the bare skin. It made her shiver and chuckle. I hate to admit it, but... okay, I'm in love, she concluded. Edmund was still moving and muttering and causing a lot of sound.
"...and now I'm stuck here with you two in a freaking wardrobe. And all because Lucy thought it would be funny to tell us a story about one of her stupid games. I didn't even believe her, and still I am stuck here in this goddamned-"
A sudden stop of all sound and movement alarmed Peter.
"Ed?"
"Oh my god," Edmund whispered.
"Ed?"
"No, I'm dreaming. This is stupid."
"ED!"
"W-what?" it sounded a bit disoriented.
"What is it?"
"Branches."
"What?"
"Branches!"
Susan froze, Peter sighed.
"Oh come on, Edmund. We're locked in a wardrobe. This is not the time to make fun of Lucy. She isn't even here."
"I think she might,"
"Oh please,"
"But there are branches!"
"Oh, come on!"
"I'm serious! Here," they heard a crack and one second later, Peter felt a branch almost sticking into his nose.
"Get away with that thing! Where did you find it?"
"HERE, goddamnit!"
Edmund moved around and pushed Peter and Susan out as hard as he could. They slammed to the floor, and Peter yelled when he hit something hard. Something solid. Something big, and dark. For one second Peter thought it was the back of the wardrobe, but the next he realized that this was nothing alike that. What? A tree? he thought. Susan looked around and restrained a heavy sigh. This was most certainly Narnia, the only difference (and explanation for the thick darkness) was, that it was nighttime now. Peter stood up and a moonbeam hit his face.
"Impossible!" he said with an awed smile. Edmund followed.
"So we've gotten into Lucy's wood after all!" he concluded.
"Let's put on furcoats," Peter said, "It's cold and we'll have to go and try to find Lucy anyway, so we better do that warm."
He reached them furcoats. Then they walked further into the wood, until they saw a lantern. And there, sobbing against the cold steel, sat Lucy.
"Lucy!" she looked up when she heard her oldest brother yell her name, "I am so sorry I didn't believe you."
She smiled and wiped her tears away. So they were here after all!
"Yes, me too. Although I hate to admit it," Edmund said, looking around.
"It's alright," Lucy replied, throwing Susan a nasty look that was very similar to Susan's own death-suggestion-looks. Peter followed it, and suddenly his happy face clouded under a furious frown.
"Liar," it was a soft word, but filled with so much disbelief and threatening anger, that Susan already cringed by hearing it, "It's disgusting."
"Peter, listen-"
"Shut up!" Susan flinched, "You've been lying to us, and humiliating Lucy more than we did by that. What, did we deserve it?"
"You should really listen to m-"
"APOLOGIZE TO LUCY!"
"Okay!" now Susan got a little annoyed, "I'm sorry! Just hear me ou-"
"Shut up!" Peter exclaimed again, "You're just making everything worse by saying any more!"
"I meant to tell you –"
"Yeah, well, you didn't," Edmund said mocking.
"You don't understand," Susan said angry.
"Try me," Peter replied. Susan took a deep breath. Now that they were here, and they knew she had been here before, there was no use in not telling them any longer.
"I've indeed been here before. But not together with Lucy. I followed her in, then lost her out of sight," Susan turned to Lucy, "That queen you told me about –"
"The White Witch,"
"The White Witch, sorry. I met her,"
Lucy laughed at her as if that couldn't be true, but when she saw Susan's over-serious face, that smile faded.
"You did?" she asked. Susan nodded.
"She gave me something to drink and something to eat, and tried to seduce me with promises I would become a Narnian Princess –"
"Seduce you? Into what?" Edmund asked.
"To come back to her, and take you guys with me," Susan said.
"That is no reason to lie to us! She sounds like a very reasonable woman!" Peter yelled pissed off.
"You still don't understand," Susan said.
"Oh, I think I understand. Did you really expect us to come in here and steal your place as a Narnian Princess?" Peter said mocking, "Oh come on, you are seventeen, Susan. Grow up!"
"No –"
"Shut up, Susan," Peter cut her off. Lucy turned to face Peter.
"No, YOU shut up," she said. Peter raised a surprised eyebrow.
"What –"
"SHUT UP, I said," Lucy repeated, "We must hear Susan out, for she might have something important to say."
Peter grinned somewhat helpless, but when he opened his mouth to say something, Lucy pointed a threatening finger at him.
"You're not saying a thing until I say so," she said. Peter bowed to Edmund.
"I'm being bullied by a nine-year-old," he whispered. Edmund laughed. Even harder, when Lucy kicked Peter in his balls.
"That woman is dangerous," Susan said, when Peter had stopped moaning, "I knew that if I told you that Narnia existed, you would be eager to go there. What I didn't knew, was what was going to happen if we'd bump into the queen. Which is why I decided to lie in the first place."
Lucy turned to Peter.
"Now you get it?" she asked. Peter shook his head, with a questioning look on Susan. Lucy sighed.
"Listen to me. Susan did the right thing. It hurt me, but it was right, and you know why?" Peter shook his head, "Because when Susan had let me bring you here, we would probably all be dead right now."
That scared them all, even Edmund, too much to say anything.
"Why?" Edmund said with terror in his face. Lucy shrugged and smiled; she obviously already lost the angst.
"I don't know, she just likes to kill. They don't see humans here very often, you know. And now I want you all to meet mr Tumnus!" she said.
"Well – then mr Tumnus it is," Peter replied a little disoriented. Lucy grabbed Edmunds hand and dragged him along. Peter faced Susan.
"And still I find you disgusting, Susan. I didn't deserve this," he said to Susan, and then he turned around and followed Lucy and Edmund, leaving Susan thrown off. She had a weird combination of frustration and hatred and love in her stomach.
"Lucy says I just saved your life, Peter," she said to herself, "I'll get you back for this. I'm gonna make you drop that ungrateful attitude."
Then Susan followed too.