Azuril Noir Raine(ANR): ok, now, I am going to tell you all a few stories!
Sanosuke hands ANR a big book with the words 'Big Book of Illigal Documents' written on it
ANR: thank you, Sano.
Katan: ;; are you sure that's the right book?
ANR: oh, yes.
Katan: ok...
ANR: alright, "Little Red Riding Hood" ok, here we go...once, there lived a poor couple, who barely had enough to buy food-
Yusuke: is one of the members of the poor couple wrong story, dumbass!
ANR: sorry, jeez, picky SOB...
Yusuke: I heard that!
ANR: ok, let's just keep reading, I'll figure out which story this is later then!
Yusuke: fine by me!
ANR: fine!
Yusuke: fine!
ANR: fine. Ok, so anyways, there was a poor couple who barely had enough to live off of, they were so poor, they were forced to sell everything-
Yusuke: even my nagging wife!
Jetta: stomps out of house and beams yusuke square in the face whadya mean 'nagging'! I swear it, you, I'll break you in half and sell the pieces!
Yusuke: you see what I mean! No respect!
ANR: well, I'm sure you deserve every bit of the tourment.
Yusuke: do not!
ANR: I am moving on now!
Jetta/Yusuke: fine!
ANR: ok, ahem well, anyways, they barely had enough money to buy anything at all... sees the inside of their house hey! How come you two have a computer!
Jetta: to make money.
Yusuke: we sell everything on E Bay for twice as much as it's worth.
ANR: that's cheating! computer vanishes now, on with the story! Well, one day, the husband took their three oldest children out and abandoned them in the woods, because he and his wife could not feed or take care of them...
Yusuke: to his three 'children', who just happen to be Kurama, Hiei and Kuwabara you all suck and I hate you now go away.
Kurama: grabs hold of Kuwabara from behind as he begins to leave Yusuke, don't screw around.
Yusuke: fine. Since your mother and I can't care for you any longer, we're leaving you to fend for yourselves.
Hiei: hn.
ANR: with that, he left them.
Kuwabara: hey, does anyone have anything to eat?
Kurama/Hiei glare at him
ANR: meanwhile, back at the couple's house...
Yusuke: honey, I'm home! I abandoned our children in the woods!
Jetta: what? What'd you do that for!
Yusuke: well, I...
Jetta: we could have sold them to buy food! points to windowsill, where Yukina is seated, a sign in her lap that says '50 cents...seven dollars with instruction manual and cookbook'
Yusuke: here's an idea, shameless grin how 'bout you and me make some more of em? Rrrrooorrrr...
Jetta: oo;;;;
ANR: several minutes later...
Yusuke: rubbing a hand-print shaped bruise on his face geez, I can't believe this...here kids! Come here! Hey! Yo, where are ya!
ANR: but the kids were smarter then that, either that or they were too far away to hear him-
Hiei: fingers in ears lalalalalaaaaaaaaaa, I'm not listeniiiiiiiiiiiiinggg! Lalalaaaaaaaaaaaaa!
Kurama: --;;;;;;;;;;
Kuwabara: is now eating his shoe
ANR: ooooooooooooookyaaaaaaaaayyyyyy...
Kurama: just get this over with!
ANR: fine! Ok, well, anyways, the three children were walking through the woods when they smelled something delicious...
Kuwabara: mmmmmmmm, I smell something good.
Kurama: well, there's a surprise.
Hiei: hn.
Kurama: will you please try to say more!
Hiei: hn-ha.
Kurama: sarasticly oh, ho! Clever!
Hiei:
ANR: oooooooooooooooookyyyyyyyayaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyy-well, they followed the smell to a small cottage, made of pie! ()
Kurama/Hiei: THAT'S NOT RIGHT!
ANR: fine!
Kuwabara: PIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEE! rushes at house
ANR/Kurama/Hiei blink a bit
ANR: well, I guess one of the kids-
Hiei: the stupidest one.
ANR: -ran to the house and began to eat it.
Kurama/Hiei watch Kuwabara eating the house
Kurama: eeeeeeeeeeeeeeewwwwwwww...
Hiei: ningen no baka...
ANR/Kurama: gasp he speaks!
Hiei: ha, ha...
ANR: well, the other two were hesitant to approach, mainly because of their sibling's terrible eating habits.
Hiei: I don't really want to go near him, he may accidently eat me...
ANR: well, you are small enough...
Hiei: smacksmacksmacksmacksmacksmacksmacksmacksmacksmacksmack I am not short.
ANR: (Xx)
Kurama: can we continue before I'm forced to curl up into a fetal position on the ground and twitch in pure agony?
ANR: sure. Although I wouldn't mind seeing that...
Kurama: hm?
ANR: nothing. () ;; well, eventually the two remaining children just couldn't take it anymore, they began to eat the house too.
Hiei: do they make sweet snow pie, Kurama?
Kurama: check the roof, I thought I saw some.
Hiei: yay! flits up to the roof
Kurama: a roof made of ice cream...who'd have thought... shrugs
ANR: just then, the owner of the house noticed them eating it...actually, they'd known for a while, but hadn't said anything for the sake of the story.
Karasu: mumbling I can't believe she talked me into this... clears throat and speaks loudly what the hell do you think you're doing!
ANR: Karasu! Do it like I told you to, or else!
Karasu: or else what?
ANR: or else we won't get to scene three!
Karasu: reads Scene 3 in The Story Script and drools at the thought ok, ok, I'll do it right!
ANR: there's a good boy... this way we both benefit...hehehe evil grin
Kurama: what're you planning?
ANR: shut up and eat your pie-house, Red!
Kurama eats more pie
Karasu: ok, I'll do it right... clears throat again nibbling, nibbling like a mouse, who is nibbling on my house?
ANR: I just had to hear him say that! () ok, well, the-surprisingly enough-not eaten front door to the cottage opened and what was supposed to be an ugly old woman coughbut turned out to be an oober hot, raven haired youkaicough stepped out.
Karasu: oh, two hungry children. Come in and...um...line!
ANR: 'have something to eat', bimbo!
Karasu: 'bimbo'! ah, screw it! Just get the fuck inside! watches them run in, then looks around huh, I thought there were gonna be three...oh well. turns to go back inside and now, on to scene 3! cackles moniacly and closes door behind him
ANR: while his two siblings were ushered inside, the third of the children ran from his hiding spot to go and try to find help...
Hiei is still eating the ice cream roof
ANR: Hiei! Cut that out! You'll fall through!
Hiei jumps in fright and hiccups
Hiei: ack! Oh, my turn eh? jumps down off the roof hey, looks around where'd Kurama go?
ANR: Kurama and Kuwabara are inside, now you hafta go find help.
Hiei: what? They went in without me!
ANR: (--) ; Hiei, just go.
Hiei: go? Go where? There's nowhere to go!
ANR: follow the trail of breadcrumbs that have mysteriously appeared behind you.
Hiei: turns around to find a trail of loaves of bread leading into the forest oh. Ok. Hey, can I eat them?
ANR: ...sure...
Hiei: ok. follows trail, snatching up the bread and eating it as he goes
ANR: odd lil youkai, that one. Anyways, inside the house...
Karasu: yanks Kurama over next to him, then shoves Kuwabara into a cage and gives him a big paper bag with eye holes cut in it here, take this and put it over your head, and just sit and eat whatever the hell Red brings you, and for God's sake, do NOT speak, I can't stand your voice.
Aramis Thorongil(AT): randomly pops in and hugs Karasu thank you! You do have a use! disappears
Karasu: what da...
ANR: that was my cousin, she hates Kuwabara's voice. Anyways...
Karasu: oh, that's right! Keep reading!
ANR: ok, well, after imprisoning one of the captive children in a cage and giving him a bunch of delicious food, the evil...um...hottie forced the other child to do chres...and wear a very skandalist little French maid's outfit while doing so... drools at the sight
Karasu: grins evilly
ANR: meanwhile, deep in the forest, the third child was running into some problems...
Hiei: ah, shit! Where're the rest of the bread loaves?
ANR: it seems that the birds in the forest had been eating the breadcrumbs while the child wasn't looking.
Extremely fat bird(EFB) falls out of a tree next to Hiei, who promptly fries it and eats it
Hiei: shit. Shit and more shit.
ANR: what? Next time you wanna follow a trail of shit outta the forest!
Hiei: no! the NWPA would have your ass on a stick for that one.
ANR: true...so, we'll keep reading.
Hiei: ok.
Another EFB falls out of a tree next to Hiei, who pokes it with a stick for second, then fries and eats it
ANR: with his siblings in danger and himself lost in the woods, the third child began to panik.
Hiei: running lamely in circles waving his hands uselessly ah! I am insane with anger! Ah! what ever shall I do! Ah!-
ANR: oh, god, shut up, I can't stand it anymore! He began to try to navigate his way back.
Hiei opens the Jagan eye and scans the area, finding the evil pie cottage he'd left, stopping to watch for a second
ANR: back at the cottage...
Karasu: lounging in a chair with a grin on his face and a bottle of Captain Morgan. Tosses a small random object onto the ground in front of him oh, little slave child, I dropped my...um...well, I dropped something, come pick it up.
Kurama: still in his sexy lil maid's outfit sigh walks over to the random object and bends down to pick it up, all the while plotting ANR's untimely death
Karasu/ANR: drool ()
Hiei: sigh figures...better go 'find help' quick and save him...maybe I'll get a "thank you gift" grinning. Hurries off
ANR still drooling, rendered sensless by the tight ass in front of her as Karasu keep randomly dropping things for Kurama to pick up
AT: --;;; bakaaaaaaa...I told her Karasu was a bad addition to the plotline...
Karasu: you hate me, of course you think I'm a bad idea!
AT: True that. I do not like you. keeps reading the third child found a wood-cutter chopping down trees in the middle of the woods...and two of the wood cutter's companions. He ran to them and told them the situation.
Hiei: turns around a tree to find Anthy, Jin and Touya standing around talking, Anthy leaning on a katana, a pile of logs behind her hey, I need you three to follow me.
Jin: why?
Hiei: so I can save a fox in a maid's outfit and a moron from a perverted author and Karasu.
Jin: oh, ok.
Touya/Anthy agree with him
Yet another EFB lands next to Anthy, who pokes it with her katana a bit, then looks questioningly at Jin/Touya, who shrug
Hiei: those things have been following me for the past page or so.
Anthy: oh. Ok.
Again, Another EFB lands next to Touya
Touya??? blinks a bit, kicks at the EFB for a second, then looks at Anthy/Jin/Hiei let's go before we get crushed by obese birds.
Jin/Anthy/Hiei: ok.
AT: and so they headed back for the cottage... dodges an EFB this is rediculous! hides from falling EFB in a bomb shelter ok, they headed back to the evil pie cottage...and back at said cottage...things looked bleak...
Kurama: arms crossed, pout on his face no, absolutely not. You'll have to kill me first.
Karasu: hey, I'm your master and the master demands a lap dance!
ANR: so does the author!
Kurama: no.
Karasu: aw, please.
Kurama: absolutely not.
Karasu: you're no fun.
Kurama: not for you I'm not.
ANR: I'll write it down on the 'Magic Computer of Doom'.(MCoD)
Kurama: no! then it'll happen!
ANR: begins to write
Kurama: Noooooo!- losing-all-free-will-and-proper-speaking-abilities-must-obey-magic-computer-commands-lap-dance. begins to give Karasu a lap dance
Karasu: to ANR I love you.
ANR: ()
AT: blechy...kinky. but blechy. Thankfully, just then, the reinforcements arrived.
Hiei: bursts in with Jin, Touya and Anthy to find Kurama giving Karasu a lap dance ack!
Anthy: that's...ummm...
Touya: ...odd...
Anthy: yeah, that's what I was gonna say.
AT: snatches the ECoD away from ANR and-to make a long story short-they eventually beat the evil guy and rescued their captured brother.
Another EFB falls through the hole in the ice cream roof that Hiei had eaten into existence earlier, beaming Karasu square on the head, knocking him out
Anthy: well, that worked.
Touya: yeah, really.
Kurama: snaps out of trance what happened?
Hiei: uhhh...nothing! we...uh...-oh, look it's time to go!
Kurama: blinks, then shrugs ok
AT: and the group sold the food and valuables in the house-
Hiei: and Kurama's lap-dancing talent.
AT: -and bought a condo in Florida, they bought the poor couple an FLW house and a Harley Davidson or two and then they bought the depraved authoress a sex slave and the depraved authoress' cousin a manservant and a motorcycle. sitting on a 2003 black and silver Harley Davidson bike with Joey Wheeler from Yu Gi Oh on a leash sitting next to her
ANR: hugging Karasu, who is holding up a sign that says 'please make it quick and painless' and they all lived happily ever after.
Both: the end.
Yusuke: hey, can I have my computer back yet?
AT/ANR: oh brother...
Karasu: next chapter, The Three Little Pigs.
Chibi Glorfindel(CG): chee!
Dais(Rajura): R&R!
meanwhile, back at the pie cottage...
Madoshi/Makenshi are eating the reamins of the pie cottage
Makenshi: I didn't think she'd include us in anything but Unlimited fics, did you?
Madoshi: no. I'm as surprised as you are.
Kuwabara: um, can I come out of the cage now?
Madoshi/Makenshi: no.
Madoshi: you are an official forgotten and lost cause, my friend. Live with it.
Makenshi: sorry, pal.
Madoshi: raises an eyebrow no, you aren't.
Makenshi: no, I'm really not.
Madoshi: is that French Silk pie you're sitting next to?
Makenshi: why, yes it is. That would make a good commercial. handing his brother pie 'excuse me is that French Silk pie?' 'Why, yes it is.'
Madoshi: no more late night TV for you.
Makenshi:
Madoshi: to the camera Happy End.
Makenshi: 'Happy End'? What the hell's 'Happy End'?
Madoshi: sh!
Vincent: Azuril does not own Yu Yu Hakusho, or any of its characters. She is only giving them more reasons to seek therapy of a savere sort. She does not own Madoshi or Makenshi, or myself, the three of us belong to our respective Final Fantasies, any other characters belong to their respective series and creators. eats some pie now Happy End.
Makenshi: what's 'Happy End'!
Madoshi/Vincent: sh!