Colleen sat on the steps of her new home, watching Allie play with a doll. The summer breeze rippled through her hair. She lifted her face, letting the air cool her. If only it could calm her racing thoughts.

Uncertainty hung over her like a lead weight. A hand automatically went to her stomach, where new life was growing, blissfully unaware of Colleen's turmoil. She didn't want to be pregnant, not with Dylan's child. When he died, she felt nothing but relief. Knowing he could no longer emotionally abuse and manipulate her made her want to weep with joy. When Nathan invited her to start a new life in Hope Valley, she'd been relieved to leave Alberta behind, relieved to leave all her painful memories in the past. It felt like a chance to start over.

Now, it felt like the past had taken a stranglehold on her. She couldn't escape Dylan's shadow. His child grew inside of her. She closed her eyes, fighting off feelings of depression that were quickly followed by feelings of guilt.

What kind of mother was she, feeling so unhappy over the impending arrival of a little one? It wasn't the baby's fault it's father was a hard, cruel man whose memory Colleen wanted nothing to do with. Tears filled her eyes, the depression and guilt strangling the breath from her lungs.

"Mama?"

A little hand touched Colleen's knee. She opened her eyes to see her innocent little girl staring at her. "Mama sad?" Allie asked.

Colleen nodded, the tears slipping from her eyes. Allie climbed into her lap and burrowed close. Colleen held her daughter tightly, letting herself cry. It gave her a release that felt cathartic. Allie sat quietly in her lap, her little arms wrapped around her mother's neck.

Allie was Dylan's child, but she had been a joy in Colleen's life. She wasn't sure she would have survived the cold, lonely days of marriage with a cheating husband without her little girl.

But things felt different with the new baby. Colleen felt so alone. She had Nathan, but he wouldn't be there forever. Some day, despite his protests to the contrary, she hoped he would marry and have a family and a life of his own. She certainly didn't want to shackle him down. He could be a good influence in the lives of her children, but it was not his responsibility to care for them. It was hers.

She sighed, her tears finally abating. Maybe there was a simple solution to her problem. Maybe she could give the baby up for adoption. She already struggled to provide for herself and Allie. She didn't feel emotionally equipped to care for another child. What kind of life could she offer? She was a financially unstable single mother with a penchant for choosing the wrong men. Her baby deserved better.

Instead of relief, the thought of giving up her flesh and blood made her heart turn cold with dread. The irony of the situation filled her with confusion. She didn't want this baby, but she did. The very thought of giving it up at birth made her mind revolt. And the thought of keeping it made her shiver.

She had never felt so lost.

"You look troubled."

Gabe's voice sounded from somewhere above her. Blinking, Colleen looked up. He stood before her, hat in hand, studying her. He didn't say another word. He simply held out his arms.

With a little sob, Colleen stood and accepted his embrace. He wrapped her and Allie into the warmth of his arms. She immediately felt safer. Gabe's familiar scent comforted her. She breathed in the mix of pine trees and leather, a combination she associated only with her brother's best friend. He held her for a long time, demanding nothing, only giving.

When she finally pulled back, Colleen swiped at her tear-stained face. "I must look a sight," she murmured. Dylan always said she looked like a mottled pig after crying. The memory seared her heart and she ducked her head, afraid of what Gabe might think.

He gently lifted her chin with his hand. "You're beautiful, Colleen. You've always been beautiful."

The sincerity in his voice almost made her believe him. Almost.

Dylan's voice taunted her. Who else would have married an ugly sow like you? You should be grateful that I took it on myself to marry you. No one else would. After her pregnancy with Allie, his insults grew both in frequency and degradation.

Despite the heat, she shivered. She stepped back. Gabe's hand fell from her chin. He shuffled on his feet, clearing his throat and looking down the road. "Would you like to go for a walk?" he asked, nodding toward the woods.

She hesitated for a moment. "Sure," she said finally. What could it hurt? Gabe was her friend. She could trust him.

They set off down the road. Colleen carried Allie on her hip. They walked quietly for some time before Gabe spoke. "Nathan told me about the baby," he said, his words low. "How are you doing?"

Her breath hitched. Gabe knowing about the baby somehow made the reality all the more terrifying. "Fine," she lied, afraid to give voice to her true feelings.

Gabe stopped, reaching out to take her arm and halt her. His brown eyes bored into her green ones. "How are you really?" he asked. Only tenderness emanated from him, making Colleen's heart ache.

Tears filled her eyes again. "I feel lost, Gabe," she whispered. "I don't think I can do this on my own. I'm so scared."

He let his hand slide down her arm until he clasped her hand in his. "Scared how?" he asked. His thumb moved gently back and forth over her wrist, calming her racing pulse. To her surprise, she realized his touch felt good. It felt safe.

Words came pouring out of her. "I'm scared this baby will remind me of Dylan. I'm scared that I won't be able to provide for two children. I'm afraid of keeping this baby, and I'm afraid of giving it up for adoption. I'm scared of going through life alone, knowing that my own choices prevented me from finding real love. I'm scared of making another mistake and dating another jerk, or worse, marrying one. I'm scared that my children will never know the love of a good man for a father. I'm scared my daughter will make the same bad choices I did. I'm scared my son will become like his father. I'm scared of it all, Gabe." She didn't know why she said her baby was a son. The words just slipped out, the fear very real that he could have Dylan's hurtful, manipulative tendencies. She found herself fervently hoping that the baby was a girl.

Her words continued to come. "I'm scared of tying my brother to life with me. I'm scared he'll never find the love he deserves because he's so focused on providing for me and my children. I'm scared my bad choices will mean he doesn't get to have a happily ever after. I'm scared of being alone, of never finding true love. I'm scared of trusting another man with my heart, knowing I've never been able to recognize a good one from a bad one." She looked down at the ground. "I'm scared my children will hate me one day and leave me." She finished speaking, the flood of words that poured from her providing both fear and relief.

"Colleen," Gabe said. The word was almost a groan, as if it pained him to hear her assessment of herself and her fears. He pulled her into another embrace. They were standing in the middle of the road, close to the woods. Colleen knew they weren't exactly hidden from view, but she didn't care. Being in Gabe's arms felt a lot like finding a sanctuary. Allie was quiet between them, looking at her mother and then at her uncle with wide brown eyes.

When Gabe spoke, his words were pained. "What did Dylan do to you?" he asked, his arms pressing her closer. "What happened to the vivacious, confident woman who saw the silver lining in everything?"

Colleen's eyes closed, her throat working. "She grew up," she said bitterly. "Life has a way of making that happen." She had no intention of discussing her horrible marriage with Gabe. He'd been a constant fixture in her life until she married Dylan. Soon after, he joined the fight in the Northern Territories. She rarely saw him after that.

"Colleen," he said again. The way he said her name, as if she were a priceless treasure, made her defenses rise. Dylan had made her feel much the same when their relationship first began. The memory triggered a reaction in her that made her flippant.

"Don't worry about me, Gabe," she said bitingly. "I made choices, and those choices had consequences. I accept that. If I'm to be alone, that's fine. Better to go through life alone than experience insincerity and unkindness from a man." She pulled out of his arms, walking quickly down the path toward the woods.

Gabe stood in confused silence for a minute, then raced after her. "Colleen! What was that about?" He came to a stop in front of her, halting her forward progress. "You won't be alone. You'll find a man who is right for you, someone who is honorable and will give you the love you long for." He moved closer, his eyes pleading for her to believe him. "You are worthy of love."

She let out a harsh laugh. "And who would marry a broken down, embittered woman like me, Gabe? I have a child and another one on the way. No one wants to enter into a marriage with someone like me. Not when there are plenty of beautiful, unbroken women out there without emotional baggage the size of Canada."

His eyes bored into hers. She fought the urge to look away. His gaze was intense and focused. "I would marry you."

Her heart dropped to her stomach. She stared at him, gaping. He stared back, the look in his eyes unwavering. He gripped her hand once more. In her shock, she didn't resist.

"I asked you once before, Colleen," he said. "The offer still stands."

She'd forgotten about that. Or more accurately, she'd shoved the memory from her mind, hating that she had hurt him all those years ago. While she craved adventure and romance, Gabe was a solid, steady presence, more like a comfortable old blanket than a knight in shining armor. He didn't shower her with compliments and grand gestures. He didn't say the perfect words or do the perfect things. He had always just been there. When he declared his love for her, Colleen had been shocked. She'd had no idea he felt so strongly for her. He followed up his declaration of love with an offer of marriage. She turned him down as gently as possible, telling him they were better off as friends. A month later, she met Dylan and was immediately swept off her feet.

He said all the right things. He made all the right gestures. He had the art of romance perfected.

She'd been fooled all too easily. Her knight in shining armor had been a dragon in disguise.

Now Gabe stood before her, patiently waiting as her mind buzzed with a million thoughts. There was nothing romantic about his proposal, if it could even be called that. It was simple, practical, and straightforward, much like the man himself.

Too practical. Colleen's heart rebelled at the lack of emotion and demonstration. He saw a problem and offered a solution. She drew back, pulling her hand from his.

"I will not be a charity case," she said icily. "And I will not marry a man who asks out of pity!"

His brow furrowed. "Pity? This isn't a pity ask!" he exclaimed, looking affronted at the thought. He stepped forward. Colleen took a corresponding step back. He halted, running a hand through his hair. "I love you, Colleen. I've never stopped loving you." His voice lowered. "I know I'm not what you pictured as your perfect man. But I'm offering you my heart. It's been yours for a long time. I want to marry you, to raise your children as my own, to give you all the love you deserve." He cupped her cheeks with trembling hands. "Please, Colleen, give me a chance. I think we could be happy together." His thumb brushed her jawline. "I know this is fast, but I wanted to be clear about my feelings. Why don't we start with a date and go from there?"

She stepped back again, desperate to put distance between them. The feel of his hands on her skin had begun to weaken her defenses. She couldn't afford to let them lower.

"I can't," she said, her voice shaking.

Gabe looked stricken. "Can't, or won't?" he asked quietly.

She stared at him, trembling. "I can't," she repeated, her throat convulsing rapidly.

"Do you find me so repulsive?" Gabe asked, defeat written on his face.

Colleen shook her head, her eyes imploring him to understand. "Of course not. But…but we're friends, Gabe. We've been friends since childhood. You deserve to be with someone who can love you back. I can't. We're too different. Entirely incompatible."

Sadness filled his eyes. "What do you want from me? You want me to fill a room with candles and roses and whisper words of love in your ear? You want me to take you on a grand adventure? You want me to shout from the rooftops that I love you?" He let out a breath. "You want something I can't give, is that it? I'm not your ideal Prince Charming, so you won't even consider me, no matter how much I would love you and care for you."

Her throat constricted. She had hurt him. Again. "You only think you love me," Colleen said, her words broken. "After a while, you'd realize you never loved me after all. You'd get tired of me and come to resent me for trapping you in marriage."

Gabe stiffened. "I would not," he said firmly. "My love is not fickle."

"You say that now," Colleen replied, weariness enveloping her. She shifted Allie, who had fallen asleep on her shoulder. "But you would grow tired of me like all the others."

She knew the words were a mistake the moment they slipped from her lips.

Anger boiled in Gabe's eyes. He took two long steps and gripped her shoulders in his hands. His breaths came in fast bursts, pain emanating from him. "I am not Dylan," he said through his teeth. "Nor am I any of those other jerks you dated." He stepped back, his hands slipping to his sides. The anger faded. Only hurt remained. "I thought you knew me better than that, Colleen."

Silence reigned between them for long, painful moments. Colleen didn't know what to say. Her heart ached at the sorrow on Gabe's face. She wanted to make it better, but she didn't know how. The closeness they shared yesterday as they laughed and talked on the steps of the Mountie office was long gone. A wall had been erected between them, invisible and silent but very, very real.

Finally, Colleen could no longer stand the tension. She blinked back tears as she began backing away. "Will you please let Elizabeth and Nathan know that I'm not feeling well and won't be at dinner?"

Gabe nodded woodenly, dejection written all over his face. Unable to behold his pain, Colleen turned and fled.