ANR: ok, here's another chapter. Hope ya like. But first, we review the previous insanity. First was Hanzel and Gretle...uh...did I spell that correctly?
Karasu: who gives a damn?
ANR: this is point. Well, the first was what I said before, the second was The Three Little Pigs and this one will be...um...help!
Hiei: baka author! You should know this stuff ahead of time!
ANR: well, I don't know many traditional fairy tales! (TT )

Kurama: how about Little Bow Peep?
ANR: does that count as a fairy tale?
Kurama: I dunno.
Kuronue: how 'bout Jack and the Bean Stalk?
ANR: yay!
Hiei: why do I have a bad feeling about this?
Kurama: because it's Azuril.
Hiei: yea, that'll do it.
ANR: Cease your barky noise making. ok, let's do this! Once upon a time there lived-
Yusuke: don't you dare say it!
ANR: Kuronue, will you dispose of him?
Kuronue: ay ay, ma'am. Drags away a kicking, screaming Yusuke
ANR: now, as I was saying...once upon a time, there lived a poor widow and her son, Jack. But, for the sake of the story-and my easily confused mind, we changed his name to Anthy and he is now a she. Ok?
Anthy: yay!
All: -.-;;;
ANR: ok, well, one day Anthy's mother told her to take their best cow to market and sell it.
Keiko: playing part of "Jack"'s mother Anthy, take the cow to market and sell it-and no damned magic beans like those stupid neighbor kids keep getting!
Anthy: hey, I'm not dumb enough to trade a cow for a bunch'a shriveled up bean seeds! Think a little higher of my intellagence! Sheesh! Snatches rope away from Keiko and gives it a good yank come on, milk-maker, move it! 'nuther good yank
Kuwabara: dressed as a cow. Is yanked onto the set. Glares at ANR I hate you.
ANR: beams him with her book cows don't talk!
Kuwabara: X-x;
Anthy: --;;; whatever, come on, Bessie. Gives another good tug then starts walking
ANR: after several minutes of walking, they came across a merchant doing what he does best-making people feel stupid!
(Teen)Koenma: Step right up, the bargin of a lifetime! Sees Anthy and Cowabara you, young lady, how much for the deformed goat?
Anthy: he's a cow.
Koenma: yes, yes, how much for the horse?
Anthy: --;; Nothing from you, pal.
Koenma: but I have these lovely magic-
Anthy: I don't do anything with beans in it...for multiple reasons.
Koenma: no, no beans here, young lady, just generic magic seeds.Anthy: no specific type?
Koenma: don't know, don't garden.
Anthy blanches
Koenma: so, how about it? These magic generic seeds for the moose.
Kuwabara: cow! I-I mean, 'moo'!
ANR: slowly lowers book good save, ugly. Now, where was I? Ah, yes. Eventually, the girl was persuaided and sold the cow for ten seeds.
Koenma: unfortunetly, she didn't trust me enough to take them without collateral...a grand a seed... TT

Anthy laughs evilly
ANR: you'll be sharing that then right?
Anthy: pardon? Looks around innocently who's talking?
ANR: . oh, ha ha. Well, she got back home but didn't quite get the reaction she'd hoped she would from her mother.
Keiko: staring blankly at the seeds I thought we talked about this.
Anthy: well, yea, but you said no magic bean seeds. These are magic generic seeds. Has, of course, hidden the money
Keiko: is that so? Takes seeds from Anthy and chucks them out the window well, they can be 'magically generic' outside.
Anthy: hey, I wanted to chew on those.
Keiko: I'm gonna go wash something.
Anthy: ooooooooooookyaaaaaay.
Keiko: as opposed to STRANGLING you! I said no seeds! Now go to your room!
Anthy: no, you said no bean seeds. You never said anything about generic seeds.

Keiko: it was implied.

Anthy: fine. Walks over to a nearby cardboard box and sits in it
Keiko: hands on hips one of these days, I'm gonna remodel this place.
ANR: skipping to the next day...when Anthy woke up, she looked out her window to find.
Anthy: Santa?
ANR: ...no. not Santa.
Anthy: oh. Then what did I find? You left me dry on scenery here!

ANR: what! looks out the window dammit! That's what I get for letting Miroku do the scenery stuff! You! Points to random minion Go to a commercial!
Intermission.

Small bunnies and chibis of various bishounen dance to 'Spicy Marmalade' from Gravitation
ANR: ok, and now on with the show!
Anthy: I'm looking...and...seeing...a...gient...noodle-rope...thingy? You couldn't do better?
ANR: hey, you said it yourself, I got stiffed! Now climb the damned noodle!
Anthy: ok ok! Sheesh! Climbs noodle, with some slippadge...it's a little buttery
Hiei: you are just sad.
ANR: shaddap! I'm trying to get this done without accidental deaths! The girl climbed the noodle, and at the top she found-

Anthy: not another pie house!ANR: ...no, I wasn't stiffed here. She found a castle. A very, very, very gigantic castle. Floating in the sky.
Anthy: -- gee, how mystical...sigh let's go see what type of gient house pet tries to eat me frist... walks up to the castle and is about to knock on the door when a small doggy door catches her eye huh, whodda thought... squeezes through the doggy door wow. Nice place.
ANR: she began her investigation of the place. She hadn't gotten even halfway across the first room when a noise caught her attention.
Youko: big place, huh?
Anthy: whoa-whodat! begins to look around franticly for the fox, finds him hanging in a cage from the ceiling how...?
Youko: I find myself asking that question a lot as of late. Though, that isn't what we're talking about. Now, is it?
Anthy slowly shakes head
Youko: The castle's nice but the view does get a little monotinous. Especially when your not allowed out of your cage eccept when it comes to producing golden-
ANR: eggs! Say eggs, dammat!
Youko: fine! You can have your damn eggs, just don't go to sleep tonight!
ANR: (0-0) ;; audible gulp
Youko: ahem as I was saying...accept when it comes to producing golden eggs for the sheer enjoyment of both the author and the moron that captured you.
Anthy: looks at ANR this is what you think of?
ANR: I like eggs!
Youko: sarcastic especially Youko Eggs?
ANR: well, I like Youko...and I like eggs...so yes. I like Youko Eggs. is quite dense
Youko: (--) shoot me. Just...shoot me.
Anthy: anyways!
ANR: oh! Anyways, just then, the floor began to shake with heavy footsteps. Then a loud voice spoke...and the voice better say what's written in the script or it's in damn big trouble!
Yusuke: fine, I'll read your damned script! Fee-fie-foe-fum, I smell the blood of a...um.
Anthy: don't you DARE say Englishman!
Yusuke: wasn't my plan. Well, if I don't smell an English guy, then what do I smell?
Youko: if you truely want my opinion, your Giant-ness, you smell funny.
Anthy falls over anime style
Yusuke: well, I don't want your opinion!
Youko: here, have some weed. Hands him a giant sized joint to subdue him
Tea: guest appearance from Yu Gi Oh Nooo, my weed!
Aramis Thorongil(AT)/ANR/Anthy: AAH! DIIE! Kill Tea grotesquely
AT: NOW WE MUST SANCTIFY THIS LAND SO THE EVIL MAY NEVER RISE AGAIN! pours a wine cooler in a circle around the corpse THE DEED IS DONE! eats a large amount of beef jerky and chocolate
Anthy: Been eatin' those 'brownies from Hell' we made earlier, ey, Aramis?
AT: oh, no. it's being used as a door-stop, dog treats, bricks and fertilizer...and my dad eats them...but lord knows no sane human would eat them.
ANR: CHEETOHS SAVED THE DAY!
All Three Of Them: CHEETOHHHHSS!ANR: now, someone has to clean that up... points to the charred mass of gore that was once Tea I may be the Authoress, and partly responssible for making the mess, but I refuse to do manual labor.
Yami (yet another guest appearance from Yu Gi Oh) scoops Tea up into a shovel and takes her away to be eaten by ravinous Plot Bunnies
ANR: there. All better.don't ask. Authoress needs more drugs, less caffine, more sleep and more theropy
Yusuke: The damn clock's makin' faces at me! In his drugged up state, has a glare-down with the, quite inanimate, clock. Doesn't notice Anthy unlocking Youko's cage
Anthy: come, blondie! Waits for the fox to transform then grabs him by the scuff of his neck and hauls ass atta there
ANR: at the bottom if the noodle...
Anthy: well, that was...all together too out there for me... gets up and heads for home Mom, I'm home! I brought a fox that lays golden eggs!
Keiko: no more magic bean seeds for you. They make you hallusinate.
Anthy: no, it's true. And they were magic generic seeds. Not bean seeds. Show her, Youko!
Youko is still in fox form. Shrugs his shoulders, lifts his leg
Keiko: if he does what I think he's about to, we're either eating him, or saving him for dinner.
Anthy/ANR: yoink!
Youko is now lying on a large golden egg) (huffs and falls asleep
Anthy: guess that tired him out a bit.
Keiko: o-o;
Anthy: Let's go see what else the big druggy's got up there. Heads back up the noodle lessee, there's fox boy's cage, there's the giant high Yusuke.
Yusuke: bonnngg.
Anthy: then, on to the next room.
ANR: in said next room, she found.
Anthy: 0-0;
Kurama: glares death at her don't you say a word.
Anthy: couldn't think of anything to say, Red... walks up to the red-head, who is tied to a giant, golden harp and dressed like a muse. Looks thoughtful y'know, there are so many wrong ways to take this.
Kurama: if you don't get me the hell of this thing, I'll scream rape.
Anthy: but you have no reason to screm rape...at least not yet.
ANR: No! My Red! Get your own YYH bitch!
Anthy: how 'bout Youko?
ANR: fertilizing his eggs, huh?
Kurama: sorry to interrupt, ladies-and I do use the term loosely-, but this is a rather perverse conversation that quite frankly, I'd rathered not hear. So could you please get me off this thing before that doped up perv in the other room comes back in here and-
ANR: geez, Red, take a breath.
Kurama: gomen. Looks at Anthy now, would you please GET ME OFF THIS FUCKING THING!
Anthy: O-o;;;;; unties him, hoists him up oer her shoulder and hauls ass, yet again, out of the castle
ANR: at the bottom of the noodle, the girl did the only thing left to do-Anthy: go look for more hotties!
ANR: (--) no! Stick with the chicken fox and the music man!
Kurama gives ANR the finger. ANR pulls out the Evil Computer of Doom(ECoD) and writes something. A vent then appears on the ground under the red-head and blows up a gust of air, making him pull a Meralyn Monroe with the muse's robes he is still wearing...the gust does not stop and he is forced to stay that way.
ANR: And she saw that it was good! Anyways, the girl did the only thing left to do, chop down the bean-stalk. But in this case, it wasn't that simple.
Anthy: now, how am I supposed to do this?
Kuronue: pops up outta nothingness get a refund?
Anthy: Aha! I love you! Kisses him then runs off to find Koenma
Kuronue: hey, a noodle... eats noodle
Anthy: returns with Koenma only to find that the noodle has been eaten Ack!

Kuronue: burp
Koenma: that's it, no more refunds! Ever! Stomps away
ANR: umm...and the mother and daughter used the chicken-fox's eggs and the red-head's prettiness to buy a bigger and better home-
Keiko: that I got to remodel.
ANR: -and put Kuronue on weight watchers...that and monitered his starch intake for the next couple years...and they lived happily ever after, with the giant still living high- pretends to take a drag on a joint -as a kite. The end!
Sephiroth: is the next chapter going to be Little Red Riding Hood?
ANR: who knows? We'll go with the flow. R&R, peeps!
Chibi Glorfindel(CG): Chee!