Disclaimer to Stephanie Meyer.

A/N: As always, thank you to everyone who reviews, follows, favorites, etc. They always make my day!

This week was spring break and because I felt bad about taking so long to update last time I finished the rest of the entire story. Chapters 15 and 16 conclude the story and chapter 17 is an epilogue.

I hope you all enjoy the ending as much as I enjoyed writing it.

With love, -M

Chapter Fifteen

My name.

The sound of his voice was like velvet, like the best note of music I had ever heard. I melted into the sound of my own name, already craving to hear it again. I was an addict and I needed more. I needed to hear him breathe my name again. I needed to feel his breath on my cheek again. I needed to watch his lips mouth my name like I had dreamed of him doing for months.

My dreams had been nothing compared to him. In my dreams, his features, those feelings, they had all been muffled, turned down like volume on a radio. Even just his eyes, they awakened something inside of me that had been dormant for months. The golden shade that glimmered under the slits of sunlight would forever be my favorite color. I wanted to catalog the color, paint every room I would ever walk in that color. I could write books and songs and poetry based on his eyes alone. I had dreamed of being seen by those eyes once again, of being the object of their attention.

I studied his face, trying desperately to get answers without asking questions. Did he already regret coming back? Was he angry that I had led such a dangerous person to his family?

Was it possible that he had missed me?

Edward opened his mouth to say something but I lunged for him before he could speak. The small spark of hope that flickered inside of me shattered the last of my control. I wrapped my arms around his neck, pressing the warmth of his body against mine. I could love him, wish for him to love me in return, and still feel angry. I could feel it all at once.

Edward didn't hesitate in my embrace. He rested his hand on the small of my back and buried his face into my hair. So close, I could feel his breath against my neck. The warmth of it tickled the soft skin that had nearly been crushed by Victoria only minutes ago.

Sitting down, he pulled me gently onto his lap. He rocked me back and forth next to the river, stroking my hair as if I were a child. I didn't dare speak or move on my own, terrified that he would disappear again. The moment felt stolen, like at any second it would end and I would never get it back.

I closed my eyes and leaned into him. My head rested against his neck again, the warmth of his skin blending back into mine. Edward's face rested on the top of my head, his fingers still gently decombing the knots in my hair. Every few strokes, his fingers gently brushed the base of my scalp, sending small jolts of lighting down my spine.

I didn't know how much longer I could stand the tension, but I was terrified for it to end.

"Bella-"

My name again.

I could feel the vibrations of his voice against my own body. I didn't want to speak, to ruin the beautiful sound of his voice lingering in the air. I wanted him to say my name over and over and never stop.

"Bella, I'm so sorry."

The moment was over.

I leaned back to look at him. His face gave no more answers than before. I opened my mouth to respond, to say something, but nothing came. I didn't understand what he was apologizing for.

Edward cupped my face, his other hand still pressed firmly on my back. His voice was so low I barely heard him.

"I never wanted this for you."

The spark inside of me died.

I never wanted this for you.

Of course he had never wanted this for me. How stupid was I? Of course he was disappointed to find me here, like him, with his family. Of course he had never wanted me like this, he had never wanted me at all.

That's why he had left.

I couldn't look at him. I stared at the river flowing beside us and watched as tiny droplets of water soaked the plants edge of the bank. I stopped breathing, his scent only making the hurt worse.

"Bella, I'm so s-"

"Don't say you're sorry," I snapped.

"If I had never-"

"If you had never what? Left me in these woods a year ago? If you had never taken me to that birthday party? If you had never-"

"If I had never been in your life."

There it was.

I pushed myself off him. Edward didn't react or seem the least bit surprised. He stayed on the ground, all resolve and tenacity gone.

The silence that stretched on was long and awkward and I was back where we'd started. The tension felt suffocating but I wasn't ready to lose him again, not yet.

The rejection was better than nothing.

Eventually though, it would have to be over. Edward needed to return to his family, his family that missed him immensely. He needed to be there when they all reunited, together for the first time since I had separated them all for over a year. I would leave, and let them go, and miss them with all of my heart, but they were his family.

I wanted him to be happy, even if that meant losing everything I loved.

It felt unfair, and cruel, that my life had arrived at this point. I let myself feel the sadness of losing him, losing the Cullens, of being alone once again.

But even then, I couldn't regret any of it. After the past year, after all the hurt and pain and bottled anger, I couldn't bring myself to wish he'd never stepped into my life. I felt happy to have loved him, to have had the opportunity to love his family and the life they gave me.

It was better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all.

Nonetheless, the anger still burned in my chest.

"I'm sorry that my existence has been such an inconvenience for you." My words came out choked, anguish coating each syllable.

In a second Edward was in front of me.

"What did you just say?"

I took a step back and threw my arms in the air like a toddler. "I've ruined your life! You left your family because of me. You've carried this burden of responsibility for my life and tried to sacrifice yours out of guilt. You've almost died trying to save my life twice! And now, I'm like you, immortal and going to exist forever. I'll always be the permanent and awful reminder of all your mistakes!"

Edward filled the step I took away and grabbed my face with both hands, forcing me to look at him. He looked panicked, searching my face for answers.

"Bella, none of those things are true. I left to try and protect you! Bella, I can't live on this Earth without you. You have no idea how tortured I've been this last year without you. The weeks I thought you were dead, the only thing I did was dream of finding you in another life."

Edward loosened his grip and curled one hand around the nape of my neck. He moved even closer, our faces only a few inches away.

"Bella, you are my everything."

I was frozen. His proximity, his words, they were everything I had wanted to hear for months. They were exactly the words I had wanted to hear when he'd left.

"That's not true," I said.

"Bella, of course it is! How can you not see-"

"You left me! You left me in these woods! How could you do that to someone who is your everything!"

"Bella, I thought I was doing the right thing, the best thing for you-"

"The best thing for me? You didn't think I should have a vote in that choice? You told me you didn't want me anymore!"

"Bella, leaving you was the hardest thing I have ever done. You have to believe me. I don't know how to live without you. When I found out Carlisle had changed you and that you were here in Forks, I got here as fast as I could. When I heard Victoria's thoughts, when I saw you through her eyes, pinned to the ground, and I thought I was going to lose you again, I couldn't think."

I covered my face with my hands to hide the whirl of emotions gushing through me.

"I almost came back. Every single night was a battle to leave you be. I wanted nothing more than to be with you," he said.

"But you never did."

"I would have, eventually. Regardless of if you were still human or not."

"Even if I were dead?" It was unfair and I knew it, but my anger was uncontrollable now.

Edward closed his eyes and clutched me tighter. "I'm so sorry. Bella, I'm so sorry. If you never forgive me I understand. I will let you go, let you have whatever life you want, without me. I'll do anything to make you happy."

A thumb stroked gently over my eyebrow.

"But if you can forgive me, understand that I know I don't deserve it and I will spend the rest of our existence trying to make up for the pain that I have caused you," he whispered.

I closed my eyes and tried to picture my life without him. It would be effortless to forgive him, to heal from this past year with him and live the dreams I had fought to keep hope for. But could I take the time to imagine what my life could be like if it was my choice? What if it was my choice to step away? He was offering everything to me: his family, this life, his unconditional love and loyalty for nothing in exchange.

But could I live without him?

I grabbed Edward's wrists, opening my eyes to a brighter world. Diamonds shimmered across his face, even more beautiful than the first time he had shown me.

"I don't know how to live without you either," I whispered.

Edward wrapped his arms around me, lifting and spinning me in small circles. I choked out a laugh, trying to free my arms to steady myself.

He set me down and grabbed my hands, pulling them both to his chest.

"Bella, you are the source of my gravitational pull. My life revolves around your existence."

I squeezed his hands, letting him pull me closer.

"You are never an inconvenience, you are my everything," he said.

After the past year, I would allow myself this. I would allow myself to believe his words when I had believed no one else. I would not push him away like I had done with the others. I would remember and heal from the pain, but I would let it go.

"You took part of my soul when you left," I said. It was the last thing I needed him to know.

Edward took a deep breath and tucked my hair behind my ear. "Bella, I left my whole soul with you."

The last of the tension broke.

I pushed myself up on my toes to press my mouth to his. Edward let go of my hands to pull me closer, to press his mouth more firmly against mine. The kiss was not gentle, nothing like kissing him as a human had been. I threaded my fingers into his hair to try and pull myself up to him more, to try and fill my insatiable addiction.

Nothing could do such a thing.

Edward hooked his hands under my thighs and lifted me up, pressing my back against a tree. He kissed me harder, moving a hand to hold my face against his. A hunger I hadn't felt in over a year exploded inside of me and I was undone. He held me, as if to say my soul pulls to you too. I needed him, I would never not need him. I couldn't lose this again.

As if he could read my mind, Edward moved his mouth to my ear, kissing along the edge of my jaw.

"Bella, I am yours. I have always been and I always will be."

I pulled on his hair, moving his face to meet mine. There would never be enough time with him. Even now it was not enough. I wanted to feel him everywhere. I wanted to brush my fingers along his temples, to hold him against me, to feel every square inch of his skin now that it was the same as mine. My heart sank deeper into my chest. Maybe it could beat again.

I rested my head on Edward's shoulder, his chest still pressed against mine. I breathed him in and let go of the need to memorize it. Everything that was behind us now had passed, the future was ours and we would have it together.

And it would never be enough, but it was a start.