A/N: A lot will be going on in the next few chapters. I will probably be posting more frequently this week before going back to posting on Saturdays and Wednesdays next week. I hope you're enjoying the story! Have a blessed Sunday.
Nathan stared at his sister, narrowing his eyes suspiciously. "What do you mean, you have dinner plans with Gabe?"
Colleen blinked back at him innocently. "I mean I have dinner plans with Gabe," she said sweetly. "Simple as that."
"Since when?" Nathan asked, crossing his arms and raising a brow. "Because just this morning, Gabe told me he had no plans for the evening. He was going to find a book to read after work and cuddle with his cat."
Colleen froze for a brief moment, then rolled her eyes. "Gabe doesn't have a cat, you ninny," she said. "Besides, if you talked to him this morning, of course he didn't have plans. We just made those plans an hour ago."
"An hour ago?" Nathan repeated, his brow hiking further.
Colleen planted her hands on her hips. "Must you repeat everything I say?" she asked, sounding exasperated. "You've been doing that since we were children, and it's very annoying."
Nathan hid a smile. He was pretty sure it was the universal obligation of younger brothers to annoy older sisters, but he bit back the comment. He also knew Colleen was not having dinner with Gabe simply because she wanted to be in his company.
"You made up this dinner with my best friend in order to leave me and Elizabeth alone together tonight, didn't you?"
Colleen flared wide, baby-doll eyes at him. "Would I do that to you?"
"You most certainly would!" Nathan exclaimed.
His sister laughed. "You're right, I would. And I did. I happen to think you and Elizabeth would make a wonderful couple. You're good friends already. Why not see if something more could come of it?"
A million objections came to Nathan's mind, but he pushed them down. Colleen had heard them all before. His arguments would fall on deaf ears. She was bound and determined to see him fall in love and get married, while he was bound and determined to avoid that at all costs. Rather than answer her question, he turned it on her.
"I could say the same about you and Gabe."
Colleen pressed her lips together. She regarded him for a few moments before her face softened. "Yes. I suppose you could."
Nathan blinked in surprise. "Did you just admit what I think you admitted?"
She nodded. "I'm trying to be open to his love, Nathan." She smiled, her spunk evident. "I'm trying to be more sensible than a duck."
Nathan laughed outright, pulling his sister into a hug. "I'm happy to hear it, sister dear," he said, pressing a kiss to her forehead. "You deserve someone like Gabe. He would be so good to you."
"I know," she said. "He still wants to marry me." There was a sense of wonder in her voice that she couldn't hide.
Nathan smiled. "That he does. He once admitted to me that you were the only woman he could see himself with for a lifetime."
Colleen blushed, ducking her head. "When was that?"
Nathan tilted her head up to look into her eyes. She needed to hear and understand just how long Gabe had been in love with her. "When we were eighteen," he said quietly.
Her jaw dropped. "What?" she gasped. "Eighteen? That was over a decade ago!"
Nathan nodded. "Yes. It was," he said, his voice serious. "He means it when he says his love is strong and enduring, Colleen. I suspect he's been in love with you since he understood what love is. He dated here and there over the years, but no one ever came close to you. I don't think anyone ever will. You are his one and only."
Tears sparkled in Colleen's eyes. There was a tentative hope shining there, as if she wanted to believe such a love was true. But experience had taught her otherwise. Nathan knew that wasn't easy to overcome.
"Just be open to love, Colleen," he said softly. He smiled down at her. "If you are, I predict you'll be in love with Gabe before Christmas."
Colleen laughed, but it was a sad laugh. "I wish I had your faith," she said quietly.
Nathan hugged her close once more. "I'll keep the faith for both of us," he said. "Until you're able to find it for yourself."
She sighed softly, nestling against his chest for a few moments. "Thanks, Nathan," she said, reaching up to pat his cheek fondly as she pulled back. "You're a good brother." She smiled, stepping back. "Now go get ready for your dinner with Elizabeth." Raising a brow, she gave him a knowing look. "And little brother? Be open to love, alright?" She grinned. "If you do, you just might fall for a good woman before Christmas."
She'd brought their conversation back full circle. Nathan chuckled. She had a talent for that. "I'll think about it," he said. It wasn't exactly a promise, but it was the best he could do.
Colleen smiled softly. "That's improvement," she said, her words gentle. "I'll take it."
An hour later, Nathan stood outside Elizabeth's door, clutching a handful of wildflowers. He wasn't sure why he was so nervous about this dinner. The two of them shared a meal together almost every day. She'd invited him over tonight thinking his sister would be present as well. This was simply an extension of their friendship.
Elizabeth opened the door after his knock, smiling warmly in greeting. "Hi, Nathan. Come in."
He stepped inside, waiting until she closed the door to hand her the flowers. "These are for you. A thank you for dinner," he explained, thrusting his hands into his pockets. He did that a lot around her, he realized. Maybe it was a preventative move, to keep himself from reaching out to touch her…
He shoved the thought away, pressing his hands deeper into his pockets. Elizabeth had her nose in the flowers, inhaling deeply. She smiled at him. "These are lovely, Nathan. Thank you." She waved a hand. "Come sit at the table. Dinner is just about ready."
Nathan moved to oblige. He looked around the rowhouse that was so similar to his, marveling that the furniture and decorations managed to make them distinct from one another. A new addition to the mantle caught his eyes. He smiled, walking over to it. "You found a home for the carving," he said, looking at Jack's likeness.
Elizabeth joined him there after placing the flowers in a small vase. "I wrote letters to Jack on that settee every night," she said, pointing to the one directly behind them. "I would often look up at the mantle as I did so, seeing the time ticking by on the clock and wondering what Jack was doing at that very moment." She smiled softly. "Now when I look up here, I'll be reminded of his letters to me while he was in the north." She touched his arm. "It already makes me feel closer to him, Nathan. I can't tell you how much this gift means to me."
He clenched his hands into fists to keep from reaching out and pulling her into his arms. "I'm glad it can be a source of comfort," he said.
She nodded, motioning for him to follow her and changing the subject. "I'm sorry your sister couldn't join us today," she said. "She told me she had plans with Gabe."
"Mm-hmm," Nathan affirmed, chuckling to himself. He decided against telling Elizabeth that Colleen had done that intentionally. If he did, he would have to admit her reason for doing so, and that wasn't something he felt comfortable with.
"Is there anything I can do to help?" he asked, looking around the kitchen.
Elizabeth shook her head. "No. I'm just waiting for the soup to finish chilling."
Nathan tilted his head. "Chilling?"
She smiled and nodded. "It's been so hot lately, I thought it would be nice to have a cold dinner. We have egg salad sandwiches, cold cucumber soup, and a nice assortment of fruit." She shrugged, looking a little sheepish. "I know it's not high end fare, but I thought it would taste good."
Nathan smiled back warmly. "It sounds delicious, Elizabeth."
And it was. Their evening was relaxed and laid back. They ate on the back porch, sharing food and laughter and conversation. Nathan lost himself yet again in the world of what if. Being with Elizabeth, it was easy to imagine a future where they eventually found something more than friendship. Their conversations had moved from primarily being about Jack to finding out more about each other. Their friendship deepened with every moment they spent in each other's company.
Colleen's gentle challenge came back to him, the same challenge he'd issued to her. Be open to love.
He wanted to. More than ever, he wished he was free to offer Elizabeth his heart once she healed from Jack's death. She was a good woman. If he was honest with himself, he was already well on his way to falling for her.
But when he finally said goodnight and headed back home, his past continued to hold him back. He wasn't worthy of her love. He wasn't even sure he was worthy of her friendship. He knew those thoughts were the product of old trauma, but he couldn't shake them.
How could he with the anniversary that was quickly approaching?
Colleen headed for the NWMP office, butterflies dancing in her stomach. Allie was at the Coulter's. Rosemary had insisted on spending time with the little girl so Colleen could have a free evening, not realizing that Colleen would need a babysitter to implement her dinner plans. She'd agreed willingly, and her little girl had seemed happy to spend some time with "Aunt Wosie." Not long after, Colleen found Gabe outside his office and asked him if he would have dinner with her. He'd been surprised, but he agreed. As she'd been about to walk away, he called after her again.
"Meet me here at seven," he said, motioning to his office. "I'll plan something for us."
Not sure what to expect, Colleen agreed anyway. She was curious what his plan would look like. She convinced herself that he was probably going to take her to the café, since they both loved Abigail's food.
Now, she walked up the steps to find Gabe waiting for her in his rocker. He smiled, rising to meet her. "Good evening, Miss Grant," he said, holding out a hand to her.
Her heart jumped as she placed her hand in his. It jumped again when he placed a gentle kiss to the back of her hand. The fact that he called her Miss Grant instead of Mrs. Parks showed his consideration of her – Mrs. Parks reminded her of Dylan, while Miss Grant reminded her of the woman she once was.
She smiled at him. "Hello, Constable," she said, returning his lighthearted address. She allowed him to tuck her hand into his arm. "Where are we off to this evening?"
He grinned, nodding toward the door. Colleen raised a brow. "We're having dinner in the jail?"
Gabe laughed. "Technically, yes. Though I prefer to think of it tonight as Hope Valley's finest dining establishment." He swung the door open with a flourish. "After you, my lady."
His antics made her smile, but as she walked through the door she gasped in astonishment, freezing in place.
The jail had been transformed. Gabe's desk was pushed to one side. A dining table for two had been set up in the middle of the room, covered with a lacy white tablecloth. Candles flickered all over the office, making the room glow with the soft lighting. Rose petals were scattered over the floor, while three vases full of daisies sat throughout the room. Something delicious wafted through the room, and Colleen realized it was coming from the plates on the table.
Abigail's pot roast. Her favorite meal from the café.
Her throat worked as she took in what Gabe had done for her. She looked at him, eyes wide. "When did you manage all this?" she whispered.
Gabe smiled. "The mercantile has a surprising amount of candles," he said. "Ned helped me transport them here and set it up. Abigail was happy to provide dinner. And of course the flower shop is never short of lovely arrangements." He looked down at the rose petals on the floor. "I know you're not a fan of roses, but every romance manual out there says they're necessary for a romantic dinner." He motioned to the bouquets of daisies. "To make up for the roses," he said with a wink.
Colleen wasn't sure whether to laugh or cry. Instead, she turned into Gabe's arms, giving him a fierce hug. Knowing he had done this for her overwhelmed her with gratitude. "This is beautiful," she whispered. "Thank you."
It had been a long time since a man made her feel special. Right now, in Gabe's arms, surrounded by candlelight and roses and daisies, Colleen felt special again. Tears burned her eyes. She pressed her face into Gabe's chest, willing them to stay at bay. She didn't want to cry and ruin the moment.
"Hey." She felt Gabe's hand run through her hair. "It's okay, Colleen. You can let out the tears. I don't mind."
Drat him. Why did he have to be so considerate? Colleen gave a muffed laugh as tears began to flow down her cheeks in earnest. "I'll have you know these tears are your fault," she mumbled into his shirt.
Gabe chuckled. "I can live with that." He let her cry, stroking her head and moving their bodies side to side in a gentle rocking motion.
Colleen's heart swelled. Gabe had given her so much. He had shown so much patience and love and kindness to her, without asking anything in return. He simply gave in the hopes of one day winning her heart. She wasn't there yet, but she knew there was something she could give him in return.
She lifted her head. Gabe smiled, wiping the tears from her cheeks until they were dry once more. "Feel better?" he asked. He looked at her with such love, Colleen nearly broke down again. Instead, she nodded, her breaths coming a little more shallowly as she tried to gather up her courage.
She let her arms lift until they were wrapped around Gabe's neck. Swallowing, she looked into his eyes. "Not too long ago, I was afraid to let you kiss me," she said, her words soft and shaky. "But after everything you've done, I want to give you this. It's a small token, Gabe, but I want you to know I'm trying." She wasn't sure if her words made sense. She wasn't entirely sure what she meant. But Gabe's eyes softened and gleamed with a hint of tears.
"Are you sure?" he asked, his own voice cracking slightly.
Colleen nodded, tipping her face upward toward him. "Yes."
Gabe's hands framed her face. Colleen waited, her heart pounding. What would it feel like to kiss Gabe? He had been a permanent fixture in her life for so long. Never once had she imagined kissing him while they were friends. The thought had never even crossed her mind.
Now, she was about to find out. Gabe lowered his head, pressing his lips softly to hers. Apparently his self-control was still intact. His kiss was gentle and sweet, intentionally staying away from a passion that might scare her. Colleen felt surprisingly safe as he kissed her, and she let herself respond to his touch. She didn't feel intense fireworks the way she had when her previous suitors kissed her. They had been intent on receiving pleasure and went to any lengths to achieve it. She knew that now. Gabe, on the other hand, was once again giving of himself. Though she wanted this to be her gift to him, it rather felt like he was the one giving a gift to her.
A spark slowly began to flare to life inside of her. Her body tingled as Gabe pressed his lips a little more firmly against hers before pulling back, breaking the connection they had shared. He rested his forehead against hers. His quick, shallow breaths told her how much their kiss had affected him. He closed his eyes. "I've dreamed of that for so long," he whispered, his hands sliding into her hair. "Thank you, Colleen."
She pulled back to look him in the eye. "You were holding back."
He nodded.
She tilted her head. "You were more concerned with how I felt than with taking more from me than I was ready to give."
He nodded again.
Colleen swallowed the lump that lodged in her throat. "Gabriel Kinslow, that is why you are a better man than any other I've known. You have no reason to be thanking me. I should be thanking you."
He smiled, kissing the tip of her nose. "The fact that you're letting me try to romance you is thanks enough for me," he said.
Try? She looked around the room. He had succeeded. This was the most romantic thing anyone had done for her, and it was done with pure intentions. That was a first. But as she looked at the candles and the roses and the daisies, she realized in a flash that they weren't what made her feel special. They were only things that would wither and quickly fade. While she appreciated them, they were temporary. What made her feel special was the man holding her in his arms.
"Romance is overrated," she murmured, the revelation stunning her.
Gabe raised a brow, looking down at her in surprise. "What did you say? Did I just hear Colleen Grant say romance is overrated?"
She blushed. "Don't get me wrong, it's wonderful," she said quickly, unable to give up the idea of romance altogether. After all, it was an important part of any relationship. It just wasn't the end all goal. She smiled up at him. "Do you realize you're the first man to romance me like this without ulterior motives?"
He brushed some hair back from her face. "What kind of ulterior motives?" he asked gently.
Colleen inhaled quietly, shame rushing through her. What would Gabe think if he knew the truth? She bit her lip, staring down at the floor, knowing she couldn't keep it a secret. "Seduction," she whispered, her cheeks burning.
Gabe lifted her chin with his finger. His eyes were compassionate. "Were they successful?" he asked. There was no judgement in his question, only a desire to know what had brought her to this point.
She nodded, dropping her eyes once more, unable to look at him. "Sometimes," she admitted. "After years of Father's distance, and his emotional and physical abuse, I was hungry for love. When men came along who promised me love and romance and happiness, I took it without thinking." Her throat burned with an effort to keep back her tears. "Sometimes I just wasn't strong enough to resist giving them what they wanted. I thought if I let them love my body, they would love me." She sniffed, shaking her head. "I was a fool. They got what they wanted and left." She shivered. "That happened three times before I realized the cycle would never end. When I met Dylan, I insisted on a chaste relationship, thinking that might help me see more clearly. But I was still blinded by the romance and the sweet words. After we were married, when he found out I wasn't a virgin, he was so angry." She sighed. "That's when the name calling started. He called me a whore, saying I was no better than a saloon girl. Never mind the fact that he wasn't pure either when we married, but he seemed to think that was no problem since he was a man." A hint of bitterness crept into her voice. "He had the audacity to question whether Allie was his when I told him I was pregnant. I was never unfaithful. But he never let me forget that he thought me a lesser woman for having been with other men before him. After a while, he broke my spirit, something even Father had never been able to do."
She finally dared to peek up at Gabe after her confession.
His eyes were burning with anger, but she instinctively knew it wasn't at her. His arms tightened around her. "If Dylan were still here, he'd be a black and blue mess for what he did to you," he growled.
The ferocity of his words surprised Colleen, but they also made her feel safe. "You're not upset?" she asked.
He grunted. "Of course I'm upset! The nerve of that man, calling you names and accusing you of infidelity, and…"
She placed a hand over his lips. "Not that. I meant about me."
"You?" He blinked. "Why would I be upset about you?"
She stared at him. "Because I've made so many mistakes in my life. Because I've let others take what didn't belong to them. Because…"
It was his turn to place a finger against her mouth. "Colleen," he said. "That's in the past. Would you like me to go through a list of the mistakes I've made in my lifetime? Because it's a long one."
She shook her head. "Of course not. They don't define you…" She trailed off, realizing his point. "Oh."
He smiled. "Exactly. Your mistakes don't define you either, sweetheart." Colleen's stomach flipped at the endearment. The grace he extended to her filled her heart. He knew exactly what to say to build her up, but he did it in a way that was natural and unpracticed.
He was nothing like the other men in her life. Gabe was real and genuine. He was proving his love was true. He would be such a good husband…
His smile washed over her. "Are you ready to eat?"
She nodded, not trusting her voice. She let him lead her to the table, tucking the thought away to analyze later. For now, she planned to enjoy her time with Gabe, the friend who could possibly become so much more.