Overview
Once upon a time, in a kingdom far away called New York, two idiots fell in love. Despite it being completely obvious to the rest of the PLANET, these two bozos didn't realize that they were hot for each other until one of them almost DIED. This is the cliff-notes version.
First there was Jean Grey. Actually, GOD came before Jean and billions of other things like Ronald Reagan, Richard the Lion-Hearted, and my SUPER OLD DOG but let's skip over all of them for now.
Jean was a bright young girl but was totally STUPID when it came to love. She was a gorgeous babe so she was really hard to get.
Scott Summers is our other idiot. He was a STIFF when it came to love and LIFE. The large stick shoved up his ASS prevented him from having any social life.
You can call this a Romeo and Juliet story but I'd like to call it a TALE OF TWO TWITS.
Anyway, these two were so utterly BLIND that they started dating OTHER people. Jean started going out with a DICKHEAD with a shoe size bigger than his IQ and Scott started dating a Brunette chic whom I will swear up and down was a total BLOND BITCH underneath the hair dye.
After Jean had a complete MENTAL BREAKDOWN and almost KILLED US ALL, Scott and Jean got closer but they still weren't f---ing.
After being stranded in Mexico by Mystique my DERANGED, PSYCO, and COMPLETELY HOMICIDAL MOTHER, Jean came to save is ass and the stick that was UP IT.
She found him half-dead and half-NAKED. On the way back, they KISSED but they still weren't in BED which, in case you haven't noticed, is the whole GOAL.
In the weeks that followed, they KISSED and CUDDLED but all that is GAY so I'll skip ahead.
Finally, Scott stopped being a BOOB and asked Jean to MARRY him. Jean, crying out of pity for his desperateness to get her in BED, said YES.
THE END.
"Well? What do you think?" Kurt asked proudly.
Scott and Jean stared at him and the paper in disgust.
"No"
"Oh, c'mon!"
"No, Kurt! We are not going to hand this out at our wedding! Most of it isn't true!" Jean exclaimed.
"It is so true!" Kurt insisted.
"Kurt" Scott said as he threw an arm around Jean, "We're getting married because we're in love"
"But that's so sissy!"
"Fine, but we're still not using it. I'll ask Kitty to write something for the speech"
And with that they left the room, probably having a discussion in their head. Kurt grumbled and put the paper away in a drawer.
"Twits" he murmured.
It think I used every swear and/or bad word in my vocabulary in this story. No, wait…
Sh--.
OK, NOW I used every bad word in my vocabulary.
Enjoy and I hope you find this funny.