Ch. 2 Morning Monster

Even the plaster could not distract me today. All I could think of was my Bella. I could even trace her face in the cracks. The boring days here at a school where her memory was made it worse. I closed my eyes and breathed in the air, thankful for some way of release. Nevertheless, as I went to take in the next unnecessary breath my face created a picture by itself. Bella standing there in the sunlight of the meadow. The tall grass was surging around her, cool wind blowing her hair around he face, how her pale skin seemed to glow, and her dazzling smile as she walked toward me. My eyes surged open avoiding the pain. However, with it came another vision of her. Spread-eagled on the wood floor, broken glass around her, brown eyes, wide, scared, empty and dead. The blood in small pools around her, legs at an odd angles, cool mouth parted, her hands clutched together even in death. A silent message on her face easy to read: love, an endless love for me, the one who caused this. I had avenged her after I opened the door and saw her there, only seconds dead.
My mind now closed down, avoiding the misery and endless anger that threatened me. I took a deep breath, replacing the one I had missed and since forgotten. It was because of the monster that I was that she was dead. The mindless, blood-crazed evil that has been since oppressed. I had not hunted as often as I should because of what had happened, I was too disgusted with myself. I had only hunted 4 times since then. This spanned over a time of seven months. I had even since retreated into myself. I had avoided thoughts more easily than I had thought possible. There were now people that I could not read at all, ones that used to come to me so easily. They were not some of my family, merely people that I never really bothered to listen to. My family was concerned; they constantly watched me, bothered by my behavior. Which as I had noticed also was becoming increasingly depressed. I almost avoided all contact as possible. My mind and words to mad beyond what I would have thought possible to form pleasant sentences. The only time I came out of my room was to play the piano. The songs coming off it had become depressingly slow and tear-bringing sadness to my family.
I had noticed that they hid their thoughts from me carefully. Always thinking about something different from what they were really curious about. Alice in particular. She knew that I was losing my power before I had even noticed. However, she oddly did not mention it to the rest of the family; she did confront me about it though. Moreover, since that conversation I had not been able to read her. Not anything, she had blocked me. A solid wall forming in her mind, something that not even my strongest attempts could get through. But one thing I did get from her was that there was a vision she was keeping from me.
This I was used to. My family had moved directly out of Forks only a few days after I lost Bella. We all knew that it would be too much of a danger for us to stay. Therefore, we left. Only to return three months later armed with new knowledge, we were not finished here yet. Seemingly, we all knew that. But knowing that everyone in my family but Alice and me had graduated in Forks was the cover up. Carlisle had been happy here, Esme had found a great longing here. And I had found love. It was not as easy to leave as I had thought. Though I knew that I might come back someday, I was not expecting to be back so soon. Alice's vision, however, continued to evade me. But what I had noticed whenever I asked was that a great smile came on her face before I had a chance to ask her it disappeared.
And now sitting in the lunchroom, I became increasingly aware that this situation was all too familiar to me. Out of the minds that I could still read, I found one thing in common with them all. They all seemed to focus intently on a new person in the small high school. Sam Archer. Why did there have to be a new girl? The situation was extremely unpleasant to sit through. All I could think of was her, my dear love I had lost. But still I was not totally unobservant not to notice the new girl's face. Which now that I thought on it was extremely pleasant. When you ignored her constant blank expressions and frowns. She had large eyes and was extremely small. Moreover, probably the biggest novelty in the world.
And as I sorted through the minds I could still read, I knew that there had to be some reason for my sitting here at this moment, and as this dawned on me I turned to Alice. Fury plain in my face. I glared the endless anger in my chest threatening to burst and allow the monster take hold. However, she merely smiled and turned to the lunchroom doors, her face expecting an arrival.
And she was right. I felt my unnecessary breathing catch even as she pushed open the cafeteria doors. I had seen her before in several minds but it only dawned on me then. This girl was special, suddenly my body tensed, but not from what I expected. This woman caused the spread of an emotion so foreign that my body reacted on its own. All I knew that she caused more of a lustful reaction then Bella did. If that was all possible. When the door opened and she glided in, she possessed an air of tragic dignity, her face hard. She did not even go into the lunch line. But she took small even strides to the very head of the lunchroom. Where she planted her hands on her small hips and looked at everyone. Scrutiny in her eyes as she judged everyone. However, to my immense relief she started on the other side of the room. I had no idea why I was relieved but all I knew was that I wanted to avoid those, oddly angry, eerily cautious eyes. She was small and short, curvy and yet a little to thin in some places for my taste. Her hair was in a messy ponytail but only about a thumbs worth of hair made it into the rubber band. She had large doe eyes that seemed to pierce the heart of every person she looked at. Her tight jeans and white tee shirt were normal but it was the 1950's army jacket that seemed to pull everything together.
I suddenly felt oddly displaced by her. Through all of my recent years judgment I was willing to believe she was a normal person, but the look in her eyes made me feel a sorrow I could not explain. Even though I was sure that I felt that whenever I thought of Bella. But this was different. She was not someone I wanted to look at too long. For I was scared that if I kept looking I would not be able to stop. But I did not look away. I could not, for she had already ensnared me with her pain covered beautiful face.
I was suddenly too curious. But I could not help it. My mind reached out to hers only to discover a wall. Much similar to the one that Alice had. Nevertheless, what I did notice was that hers was built up on years and years of scarred emotions, broken hearts and dreams but also one emotion that I could not understand. Unlike Bella who I couldn't read at all, she was there but I could get nothing from her.
She continued to gaze with steel at every face and it took me a minute to realize that she was finding out what kind of person they were, by their faces and expressions. In addition, she seemed to process something about each and everyone that I did not see, she knew something about him or her that he did not. This was very rare. I was one of the most understanding person in the world, but for once someone knew more than me, her expression became clouded as she stared at the faces of the table that Bella sat at when she didn't sit with me. Mike Newton staring back at her with hunger, unmistakable lust on his face. She frowned at him and moved on. I did not have to try to hear what he was thing it was plain on his face. God! How I wished Jessica looked like that.
Jessica's face was furious. For once again she was losing Mike to the new girl. She also thought some predictable words. Why does every guy in this school fall in love with the new girl? What's wrong with me? I can understand Sam but Bella wasn't even that pretty. But I guess now Edward is paying for it. Stupid b-
At that moment I pulled away unable to listen to another word of her jabber and trash talk of Bella. I turned my attention back to Sam she was still staring at the same table but her mouth was set differently, more of a frown as she looked at Jessica also. But I realized that the next table down the row was the one I was sitting at. Before I knew it I was panicking. Abruptly I stood wanting to get away from her for no reasons that were apparent to me. But I felt hands grab me and pull me back in my seat. Glaring down I saw that I was held down by all four of them. I could not fight them all with my weakened state. The cause being deprivation of food. Reluctant as I was I sat back down but not giving up my fight, with my eyes glaring daggers at each of them as they realeased me with caution. With slow uneasiness, I turned to Sam again. Even as I turned, I saw her expression. Which changed from a small pout to a frown. As she looked at us, her gaze hardened. She started with Rosalie, her eyes flickering down her body and back up, her eyes then twitched to Emmett who held her protectively, whom you would have guessed was trying to protect her from the glares she was giving. Flickering to Jasper next her frown deepened, making the angel like face impish and twisted. At Alice, her gaze softened but it returned when she saw Jasper's arm around her shoulder. I was not at all thankful that she had randomly chosen to look at me last. Knowing she would have the longest time to study me, my mind raced again not knowing what to make of this.
The face the met my eyes was not one that I expected . Her eyes lit with fire. Not some fire of burning love but of rage, and the deepest hate I have ever seen from anyone. She looked into my eyes and for a second instant the hate from her for me flared again in my stomach. Her eyes then left my face and racked over my body all the way down to my toes. With this I felt a glimmer of longing so deep it took everything I had not to take her as mine forever. She turned back to my face with distaste met my eyes once again and turned so fast that I barely even caught it.
The thoughts from everyone in the room banged back into my head as I realized as I was locked in Sam's gaze I had lost my ability. I watched her with extreme caution as she stalked out of the room and pushed the doors open and strode out into the rain. The others looked at him in question wondering what the hell happened. Is she suspicious? Emmett's thought drifted toward me even as I was still in shock.
I went to open my mouth to answer but found that it was already hanging open. But I managed to shrug.
I turned to Alice and tensed. I knew that she knew that I couldn't read her. Her face widened into a large smile, mischievous but filled with a sparkle that had been since lost since Bella left the world. Left me. And then too soon Alice went to leave.
"That's your vision?" I was surprisingly disappointed but none the less I was interested in what was going no matter how odd it was.
"No its just the beginning." Alice left then, but with Jasper not far behind her.