Elizabeth felt a sense of happiness within. She hummed as she walked to the café for dinner with Abigail. Last night, she and Nathan had yet another of their dinners together. It had been a wonderful evening, with lots of laughter and conversation. She had noticed a pattern with him – he tried to keep his distance when he first arrived at her house, but soon he became comfortable and his defenses lowered. Once that happened, they talked freely and easily. They were still dancing around the subject of their love, but Elizabeth was fine with that for now. Their friendship continued to grow. Their relationship felt like it was on solid ground again.

And Nathan took more of her heart with him every time he said goodnight.

She let out a light sigh. She knew he was healing from his trauma. He'd told her he was talking frequently with Gabe about his past, about Sarah, and about his fears. Though he didn't talk to her much about his past, Elizabeth respected his privacy. He had told her about Sarah, and for now that was enough. If something more came of their friendship, that would be the time for him to talk about his family life. She sensed it was a painful subject.

They had one more arranged dinner left. Elizabeth wondered if she was brave enough to ask Nathan for them to continue. Her "payment" would be done after that dinner, but she didn't want their meals together to end. Perhaps they could go back to lunches at the café. That might make Nathan more comfortable.

Abigail's establishment came into her line of sight. The café was brightly lit, looking cozy in contrast to the autumn chill in the air. Pushing the door open, she headed to the back room where her friend had asked her to meet.

Rosemary was there as well, smiling happily. "Hello, Elizabeth!"

Elizabeth hugged her friend. "Hi, Rosemary." She glanced around the room. "Where's Abigail?"

"Right here," Abigail responded, coming down the steps from her apartment. The three women settled at the table, where bowls of chicken pot pie were already set up and ready for them. They said a blessing over the food, then began to eat.

"I was thinking," Abigail said, a gleam of excitement in her eyes. "We've not had an opportunity to show Rosemary how excited we are about her coming baby." She grinned. "What if we had a baby shower for your little one?"

Rosemary gasped, a hand going to her heart. "Really?" she squealed. "You would do that?"

Elizabeth smiled in delight as Abigail nodded. "Of course! We need to properly welcome this baby to Hope Valley!" She dimmed slightly. "I only wish I'd thought of that before Colleen gave birth to Daisy. I don't think she has a whole lot of baby things."

Rosemary was reflective for a moment. "Why don't we make it a dual shower?" she suggested. "I'm sure Colleen would appreciate baby things she doesn't already have. It would be fun to celebrate Daisy's birth while looking forward to my baby's birth as well."

Elizabeth hugged her friend again. "Rosemary, you have such a kind and generous heart."

A rare blush colored Rosemary's cheeks. "Posh," she said, trying to wave aside the compliment. "It's the right thing to do. Colleen is our friend as well."

"Exactly," Abigail said warmly. "And you are being a good friend. This could have been an event all about you and your baby, but you're willing to share it." She smiled. "You truly do have a heart of gold."

It wasn't often Rosemary was flustered. Elizabeth looked on in amazement as her friend sputtered for a few moments, at a loss for words. "Well," she said finally, uncharacteristically trying to take the attention off herself. "Shall we plan this party?"

The three women spent the next several hours dreaming up Hope Valley's first baby shower. They set a date several weeks out and planned every detail they could think of.

Elizabeth felt a contentment wash over her. She loved being a part of a community that cared for its members like Hope Valley did. It would be fun to celebrate Rosemary, Colleen, and their babies, but more than that, this shower would continue to foster their friendships with one another.

That was what was most important.

Early one morning, late in the week, Gabe made breakfast for his little family. Pancakes were Allie's favorite, so he made a tall stack of them, then set to work making bacon and eggs. A knock sounded on the door. Glancing at the clock, Gabe frowned. There was only one reason someone would be knocking this early. He sighed, hoping he wasn't being called away from Hope Valley with the Mounties.

He pulled open the door, expecting to see a flash of serge. Instead, Nathan stood there. Gabe blinked in surprise, though it was quickly followed by relief. "Nathan! Come in," he said. "What are you doing here so early?"

Nathan stepped inside. "I just wanted to see my family," he said, a smile playing on his lips.

Gabe raised a brow. "At six o'clock in the morning? Colleen and Allie aren't even awake yet." He headed back to the stove to flip the bacon, glancing at his friend. "You might as well spill it, Nathan."

Nathan fidgeted, momentarily avoiding whatever it was he had come about. "You didn't say anything about Daisy," he said.

Gabe nodded toward the small crib in the living room, where his tiny daughter was contentedly sucking her thumb. Nathan picked her up, cradling her in his arms and speaking softly to her. Gabe let him spend time with the baby. He sensed that his friend had something on his mind, but wasn't quite ready to voice those thoughts yet. Gabe continued cooking. When the food was ready, he placed it in the oven to warm until his family came downstairs. As he was halfway through the process of making coffee, he heard Nathan speaking in a low voice.

"Why can't I shake my fears, Gabe?"

Gabe didn't have to ask what he meant. He turned to see Nathan staring down at Daisy, an expression of longing on his face. "I want this," he whispered. "I want to love a good woman and have children and share life together." When he looked up, his eyes were tortured. "You've been a rock for me over the past two months, Gabe. You've counseled me and helped me see things in a new light. My guilt is passing, as is my grief. But the fear won't let go. How do I get rid of it?"

Pressing his lips together, Gabe motioned for his friend to sit, then took the seat across from him. "From what I've experienced, the best way to overcome fear is to face it head on or remove it completely." He studied Nathan. "But that was usually on a field of battle. When it comes to matters of the heart, it is more subtle and nuanced. You can't just remove love from your life."

Nathan was quiet for a few moments. "Perhaps not. But does that mean I remove Elizabeth from my life?" he asked, his words soft and broken.

Lips pursed, Gabe shook his head. "I think that's a fear you need to face, not run from."

Nathan smiled sadly. "I know, Gabe. I know you think I should take a chance on love with Elizabeth." He sighed. "I just don't know if I can. The fear is too strong. What if I lose her the way I lost Sarah? What if I fail her the way I've failed so many others? What if…?" He paused, seeing the look on Gabe's face. Nathan sighed again. "Right. I haven't failed others. Or so you keep telling me."

"And you believed it until five seconds ago," Gabe said, raising his brows. He settled back in his chair, searching for words. "Nathan, you are healing. It's been wonderful to see. I think the final push is for you to find a way to rid yourself of these fears." He spread his arms. "I don't know what that looks like. But I do know one thing – you need to figure it out soon." He leaned forward. "You can't keep spending time with Elizabeth like you have been if you have no intention of giving her a chance. It's detrimental to you both. I see the way she looks at you, my friend. She is completely in love with you. And you're in love with her. It's plain as day. You have to figure out whether to let your love grow…or let your friendship die." It pained him to be so honest, but Nathan needed to hear the truth.

Nathan sucked in a sharp breath, but he nodded. "That's why I've been thinking about letting her go," he admitted. "It's been on my mind since your bachelor party." He was quiet again, staring at nothing. "I don't want to push her from my life," he whispered. "We've become such good friends."

Gabe empathized with Nathan. He knew what his friend was going through, at least to a degree. He'd had his own heartache with only being Colleen's friend while being in love with her. The difference was that she hadn't felt the same way about him, while Elizabeth did return Nathan's feelings. And Elizabeth was fresh off a heartbreak of her own. She didn't need a second one in such a short amount of time.

"For Elizabeth's sake, let her in or let her go," Gabe said softly.

Nathan's eyes dulled with pain. Gabe had a sinking feeling his friend was more likely to let her go than face his fears. He began silently praying that Nathan would have the strength to overcome the fear that was keeping him from love. He knew that his friend and Elizabeth would be good together. He knew Jack would have approved of the relationship. If only Nathan could get over the final obstacle to let love in…

Gabe opened his mouth to say something, but Colleen came down the stairs at that very moment.

"Nathan!" she exclaimed, her eyes lighting up at the sight of her brother. "You're here so early!"

He rose with a smile of his own, his pain effectively hidden away for the moment. "Good morning, sister dear," he said, planting a kiss on her cheek. He grinned at her. "I hope this wonderful friend of mine is treating you well?"

Colleen's eyes softened, making Gabe's heart flip in his chest. "He is," she said tenderly.

Gabe couldn't help himself. He crossed to her and gave her a kiss. Nathan groaned and squeezed his eyes shut. "Really? Right in front of me?"

That prompted laughter to bubble up from both Gabe and Colleen. She winked at Gabe. "Now that I know how to make my brother uncomfortable, I'm thinking we should give him more to squirm about."

Gabe grinned, settling his arms around her. "You won't get any complaints from me," he said, pressing his lips against hers again. Nathan muttered under his breath and turned his back to them, but not before Gabe saw a smile cross his friend's face. A smile of his own formed against Colleen's lips. "I think it worked," he whispered.

She chuckled, her attention fully on him. "Good morning, Gabe," she said quietly, placing a hand on his cheek, her words for him alone.

"Good morning, love," he returned, kissing her once more before releasing her gently. "I have breakfast ready. Are you hungry?"

"Mmm-hmm," she murmured. "It smells delicious."

Allie soon came down the stairs as well. "Bweakfast?" she asked, rubbing her eyes.

Nathan honed in on his niece. With Daisy still in his arms, he went over and crouched down to give Allie a one-armed embrace. "Hey, princess."

Her eyes lit up. "Unca Na'tan!" She wrapped her arms around his neck. Holding the baby in one arm, he wrapped his other arm around Allie, lifting her up with him as he stood. "It would seem both nieces like spending time with their favorite uncle," he proclaimed, carrying them to the table.

Colleen laughed. "You're their only uncle."

The words hung in the kitchen for a moment as shadows passed through the eyes of both Grant siblings. Gabe knew instinctively that they were thinking about Joshua. He considered saying something to lighten the moment, but he had a feeling that might make it worse. Instead, Colleen shook herself and Nathan blinked rapidly before placing Allie on a chair. He handed Daisy to Colleen, then went over to Gabe.

"How can I help?" he asked.

Gabe handed him the plate of pancakes. "Place this on the table and then get the maple syrup," he instructed. Nathan nodded, about to do his bidding, when Gabe gripped his arm. "Are you alright?" he asked in a low voice.

Nathan looked at him, vulnerability written in his eyes. He didn't answer for a few moments. When he did, his voice was raw. "I will be."

His answer didn't inspire any confidence in Gabe.

Nathan stood outside Elizabeth's door that evening, at war with himself. Their final arranged dinner had come. As usual, Nathan found himself torn in two. After a month of their little agreement, he wanted to continue these informal dates with Elizabeth. That might not be what they were calling these dinners, but sharing a meal while sharing their hearts certainly felt like dating. He always resolved to guard his heart before coming to her house, but once he was there his guard dropped and he let her further in. And therein lay the problem. He couldn't afford to continue their meals together. His heart was ever more entangled with hers. His love had only deepened as they continued getting to know one another.

It had only been a month. Any longer and he would never be able to disentangle his heart from hers.

He'd known he was deeply in trouble the night they watched Allie and Daisy together. Sitting in her living room, a sleeping Allie on his chest, Nathan watched as Elizabeth fed Daisy, softly singing to the little girl as she drank her bottle. Something tender and aching had filled him in that moment, and he'd had a sudden vision of the future, a future where he and Elizabeth were sitting in their own home with their own children. It had taken his breath away. She had looked at him, catching him staring. He couldn't look away. His desire for the future was mirrored in her eyes. Fortunately, Allie stirred and asked to be put to bed. Nathan had been given the perfect opportunity to slip from the room and collect his thoughts.

It was getting harder to remind himself why he shouldn't pursue a relationship with Elizabeth. After telling Bill and Gabe on their hunting trip that he had thought about letting her go completely, he hadn't been able to stop thinking about it. He knew it would break him if he let her go, but it would break both of them if their friendship continued. Despite his progress in healing from all his trauma, he wasn't sure he could get over his fear. Not yet.

With a sigh, he knocked on her door. Elizabeth opened it, welcoming him as she always did with a happy smile. This time, she hugged him as well. Nathan froze for a brief moment before letting himself hug her back. He fought the tears that sprang to his eyes. Her love hit him like a physical force. There was no way he could let this continue.

A reluctant but strong resolve crept over him. Gabe had told him to let her in or let her go. After tonight, he would let her go. It was in her best interest, and it would be the truly loving thing to do. He couldn't keep giving her hope, even if it was a hope he'd tried to discourage. Elizabeth was determined to fight for him, but he couldn't let it continue.

Elizabeth pulled back, looking up at him with a furrowed brow. "Nathan?" she asked, searching his eyes.

He closed them, trying to shut her out. How was it that she could read him so easily? How could she know just from a look that something was wrong? He took a deep breath, then opened his eyes and forced a smile. "Lovely day, isn't it?"

She blinked, momentarily taken aback. "Yes, I suppose it is," she said when she finally found her voice. She gave him a quizzical look. "Is something wrong?"

He shook his head while his heart tore apart inside. He didn't trust himself to speak. If he did, he might confess everything. He wanted to give her one more evening of friendship before releasing her.

They spent a pleasant evening talking over roast beef, mashed potatoes, and a green salad. The food was delicious, as always. Nathan had a hard time believing Elizabeth was once abysmal at cooking, as she claimed. They laughed together and talked about all kinds of things for several hours. Once again, Nathan found his guard lowered as he spent time with Elizabeth in her home. He wasn't sure what it was about this place that breached his defenses, but he recognized the danger he was in. If he didn't put a stop to their dinners now, he never would.

He couldn't continue stringing her along, no matter how vocal he'd been about the fact that he wasn't looking for a relationship. Their hearts were already involved. He had to end things.

After helping Elizabeth with the dishes, he put his hands in his pockets and swallowed. "I'd better go."

Elizabeth glanced at the clock. "Already?" she asked. "You don't normally leave this early."

He swallowed again, backing away slowly toward the door. "I know, but I think it's best if I head out now."

Disappointment filled her face, but she nodded. "Alright." She walked him to the door, but made no move to open it. Instead, she slipped her arms around him, snuggling close. "Thank you for coming, Nathan. I love spending time with you."

His breath hitched. He loved spending time with her too, but to say that now, as he was planning to break their friendship, would be cruel. Instead, he rested his head against hers for a moment, savoring the feel of her in his arms for the last time.

When he pulled back, arms still around her, Elizabeth looked up at him. Her love was written all over her face. She lifted her chin upward, moving slightly closer, an invitation clear in her eyes.

She wanted him to kiss her.

It took every ounce of self-control he possessed not to do so. Instead, he pressed his lips to her forehead, lingering for a brief moment. "Goodbye, Elizabeth," he whispered.

She looked up at him again, searching his eyes. Nathan couldn't find it in himself to tell her that this was more than a goodbye for the evening. For the sake of them both, he had to let her go. He knew she could sense something was changing between them, but the confusion in her eyes told him she wasn't sure what that would mean. She gripped him a little more tightly, not letting him go.

"Stay with me," she said, her tone pleading with him. "Don't say goodbye, Nathan." There was a double meaning in her words, as if she knew he was trying to release her from their friendship.

His heart cracked in two and his resolve nearly shattered. Would it be so wrong to overcome his fear and take a chance on their love? Why was he still fighting it? For a moment, he couldn't think of a single reason to keep pushing her away.

His eyes focused on her lips. Just kiss her, his heart whispered. Stop fighting. Stop running. Let love in.

Elizabeth saw his look. She lifted her face, offering him her lips once more. One of her hands moved to the back of his head, pulling him closer, nudging him toward the kiss that would change their relationship forever. He let her pull him ever nearer, closing his eyes as her breath warmed his lips.

Just one kiss…

But one kiss wouldn't be enough. He knew that. If he kissed her now, it would have to be with the intention of freely giving her his heart. Moments before, he had resolved to let her go. He couldn't deceive them both by kissing her and then pushing her away. That could break her heart. Nathan wasn't willing to do that. He knew that staying away was going to hurt her, but hopefully it wouldn't break her.

Hopefully it would free her. She deserved better than him.

Lurching back, Nathan broke contact, tearing himself from her arms. Elizabeth's eyes flew open, hurt and surprise mingled in the blue depths.

"I'm sorry," Nathan whispered raggedly, hating that he was hurting her. "I have to go."

She looked like she was about to protest, but he didn't give her the chance. He flung the door open and fled into the night, his heart breaking into a million pieces.