Dateline: Wednesday, July 8, 1981, 2:20 PM, Pacific Daylight Time.

Scanning the ground from his second story viewpoint, Heartthrob saw everything that was going on downstairs. He saw Python's little tussle with Demon. She handled him like a ninja. And she looked pretty good doing it too. Edna was right; the tight-fitting cut of her super-suit made her look extra-sexy. Heartthrob could feel his heartbeat accelerating. This was just what he needed, he decided. At that moment, he wasn't even thinking about looking for Viper. He was on cloud nine, falling madly on love with his girlfriend all over again.

"Oh, man, would you look at that fat cow?" said a female voice to our hero's right. "Honestly, how could a goddess like myself have the same genetic makeup as her?" Heartthrob turned and saw Viper, pointing at the woman he loved. He wasn't surprised that she was bad-mouthing her genetic "sister". Still, it irked him that anyone would dare say an unkind word about that gorgeous creature.

"Hey!" he shouted. "That 'fat cow', as you call her, is twice the woman you'll never be! Looking at you, I also cannot believe that you have the same genes, but for an entirely different reason!"

"Oh, you poor, misguided soul! You'll change your tune when I destroy her in combat!" She turned and walked toward the stairs

Uh, oh, this wasn't part of the plan, he thought. How can I make her fight me?

"Why are you going to fight her?" Heartthrob called out. "What are you, scared, MagiClone (patent pending)?"

Viper spun on her heels. "Scared of what?"

"Of me! You'd rather fight a little girl than a real man like me? You know what that makes you? Chicken!"

"I don't have time for this," she muttered as she went back to the stairs.

Heartthrob wasn't deterred. He stuck his hands up his armpits and started to cluck like a chicken. His plan was to shame her into a fight.

The clone stopped just short of the top step and turned to face him once more. "In case you haven't noticed, I'm not a human. I don't respond to your childish name-calling, and I am not going to fight you!" She took two steps down the stairs. Heartthrob kept on clucking. "Did you not hear me? Do you not understand? Clucking at me isn't going to do anything, and I'm NOT going to fight you!" She kept walking downstairs, but Heartthrob didn't stop.

Just then, Viper dashed back upstairs. "All right, if you want me to fight you so bad, I'll fight you!"

Works every time, he thought to himself. "Bring it on!"

Viper grinned slyly just before she turned invisible. Heartthrob took a step back; trying to remember what Dash had taught him about fighting invisible people.

Let them attack first, so you can pinpoint their location. He closed his eyes and waited. A second later, he felt two large hands on his neck, trying to choke him. He didn't lose his cool. He grabbed Viper by the wrists and flung her over his head. Panicking, she reappeared and cast a force field to soften the coming impact. She bounced back and faced him once more.

"Oh, a wise guy, huh?" she said. "I have one word for you, eat my force!" Viper threw a force field right in Heartthrob's face. He flew backwards and hit his head against the wall. It didn't hurt him that much. But when he fell from that height, he landed flat on his face. That did hurt.

When he stood up, he noticed that he had something rock-like in his mouth. He spit it out into his hand and saw that it was white, and it was covered in something red like blood.

"Wow, it's taken twenty years, but I think I just lost my last baby tooth! Thanks!"

"Uh…happy to oblige, I guess." Viper was thrown by this little curveball of Heartthrob's. Quickly, she shook it off and got back into the zone.

She turned invisible once more. Heartthrob closed his eyes. Dash had taught him that keeping your eyes closed helps you focus on other the cues needed to locate invisible enemies. To his left, he heard the loud steps of Viper's boots. With a little concentration, he whipped up a tiny windstorm in that general area. The only clue he had that his attack was successful was the faint screaming of a feminine voice.

He opened his eyes and saw the evil MagiClone (patent pending) being flung about like a rag doll. Heartthrob put his hands down, worried that this hurricane might be overkill. He watched in fearful tension as Viper plummeted through the open hole in the ceiling to the ground floor below. Heartthrob leapt over the railing, thinking it would be the fastest way down. It was the fastest way down, but it wasn't until he was halfway down that he remembered his imperfect balance, and that he would likely land on his face. As a matter of fact, he did.

"Ow!"

Viper, who had just recovered from her fall, saw this, and couldn't help but laugh at his expense. In a fit of rage, Heartthrob shot a bolt of lightning at her. She blocked his attack with a force field. This made him more upset. Then he remembered one of his other powers. Quickly, he made seven copies of himself. Viper's eyes widened when she saw that she had eight supers to contend with.

"Damn, dude! How many powers do you have?"

"Enough," said all eight of him.

Not for long, she thought. "PARTIUS!" she screamed at the top of her lungs, pointing right at the original's heart. Suddenly, the other seven vanished, like they were never there. Heartthrob was a little confused, and demanded to know what was going on.

"Like it? My master granted me enough magic for one spell, so I used it on this one. I know the secret of your powers, Heartthrob: that they only work when your pulse is 100 bpm or more. So, I put a hex on your heart, keeping your pulse a constant 99 bpm!"

Heartthrob was scared. He had never in his entire career had to fight someone without the aid of his many powers. In his panic, he was unable to think of any action to take. So he stood there, paralyzed by his own fear.

Realizing that she had struck a frayed nerve, Viper sprung into action. She turned invisible and quietly grabbed him by the throat one more time. The sensation of being choked snapped Heartthrob out of his little funk. He grabbed at Viper and proceeded to wrestle with her for quite some time. This is when the radio crackled with the distress message that we now know was a fake. But like Blind Tracy, Heartthrob was too busy to make it out.

Anyway, the two of them were grabbing, scratching, pushing, pulling, shoving, biting, you get the idea. Neither one was making much progress outdoing the other, until they came to the fountain in the center of the mall. Heartthrob was so busy fighting with Viper that he didn't look where he was going, and he tripped on the short stone wall of the fountain, tumbling into the water and taking the MagiClone (patent pending) with him.

SPLASH!

"Help!" Viper screamed. Like Python, she was afraid of water too. In her fear, she stopped being invisible. "Help! Someone help me! I can't swim!"

"The water's not even a foot deep," Heartthrob pointed out.

"Huh? Oh. That was stupid, why would I be afraid of water?"

Just then, Heartthrob had an idea. He grabbed a handful of water and flicked it in her face.

"YAHH!" Viper screamed. "Cold and wet, cold and wet!"

Heartthrob jumped on her, grabbed her head, and forced it underwater. She screamed in protest and struggled against him, but it was no use. When he brought her back up for air, she turned to him in contempt.

"What did you do that for?" she asked.

"That was for making my girlfriend look bad on TV," he said, "and this is for taking my powers!" He dunked her once more. When he brought her back up, he added, "and this, is so you'll never do anything like that ever again!" He pulled the pin from the back of her neck.

"You big bully!" Those were the last words Viper spoke before poof, and she was gone forever.

Even though there was nothing left of that MagiClone (patent pending) but the smell of nutmeg, those words stuck to Heartthrob like glue. Because, even though she was evil, Viper was right. He had stooped to her level. He felt so guilty at taking advantage of her fear of water, he almost cried. Then he thought to himself, he did what he had to do. He got rid of her, right? That's what matters, right? He needed to think about this for a while.

"If anyone needs me, I'll be in the car, okay?" he said into his radio.

"Roger," said Python.

He dragged his feet sheepishly while walking back to the car.

(A/N: Well, how was that? Please tell me the truth, if you don't like it, I can fix it, okay? Just don't give me the silent treatment, please! I need to know that people read my story and care! Please review!)