A/N just wanted to say thanks to everyone who reveiwed especially dshortklutz and butterflyswest who have reveiwed both chapters, thank you!.
And of course i would like to thank Ella for reveiwing but that is kinda her job as this story is dedicated to her and she sat there and watched me write it to make sure it would actually happen!
Love to everyone
xoxoxoxox
Neela grabbed some charts and headed in the direction of trauma 3, just as Ray sauntered into the ER. He looked at her and a smilespread across his face but she just looked away and carried on walking.
Why did you do that? He was only being friendly; you could have at least smiled back. Neela thought to herself. She was desperate for the friendship that she and Ray shared to be back to the way it used to be, but she knew that if they carried on living together, their friendship could, and most probably would, have become something much more. She couldn't let thoughts of Ray cloud her mind; she was married to Michael, and that was that.
She couldn't deny the feelings she had for Ray but
she could push them away, she could push him away, but she knew Ray,
and because of this, she knew he wouldn't give up on her. She had to
get him to leave her alone. She couldn't handle the guilt that would plague her if anything happened between them because she loved
Michael more than anything. "Well, not quite.
You don't love him as much as you love Ray" a small voice muttered at the back
of her unconscious mind.
Ray stood in the ER feeling utterly dejected, Why didn't she smile back? Does she hate me that much? No, she can't hate you; she wouldn't have lived with your mess if she hated you. His brain seemed to be on over drive as he thought up different conspiracies about why Neela had ignored his attempt at a truce.
He walked into the lounge to dump his bag and coat, and there on the sofa, sat Neela. Her head lolled back, as she took deep breaths in and out. Trying to gather her thoughts before re-entering the ER to face everyone, and Ray.
Becoming aware that someone had just entered, Neela snapped her head up. Coming face to face with the one person she couldn't handle being alone with right now. She got up to leave just to be pulled back by the arm and a familiar voice that, to her seemed like she had not heard for months, muttered,
"Wait, Neela, we need to talk."
"There's nothing to talk about Ray."
"I just want things to go back to normal, at least to being civil with one another." There was a pause, as Neela tried to think of a come back, not thinking of one she tried to take the easy way out.
"Ray, I can't do this right now, I have to work." Ray pulled her back once more.
"No, let go of me Ray!" her voice became exasperated and anger began to rise up. "I've moved out, and that's it. If you can't get over that, then too bad!" She couldn't look him straight in the eye as she said this, and then there was a pause that lasted for what seemed like eternity.
"Do you hate me that much?" Came Ray's voice through the silence. Her anger was rising up beyond her control.
"YES!" she shouted "NO, NO, NO, I don't hate you, I like you, god, I think I may even love you!" Shouted the little voice in her head but she ignored it as he let go of her arm. She stormed out of the room, but not before she saw the pain in his eyes.
She exploded into the admit area of the ER where Abby sat on a stool. Abby saw Neela fuming with anger.
"Bloody Ray" she heard Neela mutter, "Abby do you think there is any way I could change my shifts so I don't have to spend so much time with him!" Abby looked confused and shook her head slowly, "No sorry Neela, no can do I'm afraid."
"Fine, whatever, I guess I'll just have to live with it."
That night Neela sat in Abby's apartment and cried, she cried for the way she had spoken to Ray, she cried for the fact that she didn't hate him, she cried for the feelings that she had for Michael being pushed aside for the ones she had for Ray, and she cried for the fact she had to work with the man she knew she could never have, and she just couldn't handle that.