Disclaimer: I own nada, nought, nothing. :( basically all words in this chapter belong to the writers of ER.

A/N: its another scene setting chapter from me, this is the turning point of the story it's gonna start to get slightly happier from here on out YAY:D

Surgical resident? I am a surgical resident. The realisation hit Neela in a wave of happiness as she headed back to the ER. As she got out of the lift and seeing Sam and he walked up to her Chuny she couldn't help herself but to mention her good news but to her surprise they didn't seem to be that happy for her, she didn't have much time to ponder this as Ray dashed down the steps, leaping down the last couple. Neela who didn't see this turned to walk away.

"Neela, hold up, I need to talk to you," she turned to look at him and smiled as she told him her news.

"I got it."

"What?" Ray asked, he was trying to break some news himself.

"Surgical residency," she said, beaming.

"Oh, thats good for you, thats really great," he was looking down at the floor trying to sound positive but a hint of urgency was heard in his voice.

"Well try and contain your enthusiasm."

"Listen I need to talk to you," the sense of urgency more apparent as Neela made her way back to the main entrance of the ER.

"Yeah, Luka's paging me.."

"I no, 'cause it's important."

"So is my news but nobody seems to care," Neela said in a disappointed tone

"Neela, listen I..."

" You know it's not like I'm leaving the hospital, I'm going to surgery, you'd think you people would like having me up there."

She entered the ER turning to a heavily pregnant Abby and saying, "Have you seen Luka?" Abby looked at her, concern in her eyes, she slowly said, "there are two men here to see you, from the army." Neela looked at her, "the army?" she repeated her voice was weak.

"I tried to find you," came a sad voice from behind her, Ray hated to see her hurting.

Neela turned to see the officers while Abby and Ray looked at the floor.

"Dr Rasgotra?"

"Yes?"

"I'm Captain Evans and this is Sergent Marris," he said turning to the man next to him. "Is there some were we can go and talk?" Neela gave both men a a quick glance before asking,

"Can you tell me why your here please?" her voice sounded hard and cold.

"I really think it would be better.."

"Tell me!" Neela cried in a harsh voice as one solitary tear escaped from her eye and rolled down her cheek.

"Ma'am, the secretary of the army would like to express his deepest regret..."

"No wait , there must be some mistake" Neela tried to interrupt but the man just kept going

"...that your husband, captain Michael Gallant was killed in action."

"No, you've got it mixed up. Michael's a doctor not a soldier soldier." Neela said disbelief in her tone.

"He was killed when his truck was hit by a roadside bomb. Again the secretary offers his deepest sympathies, " the man's voice was void of all emotion, it seemed to her that he had been reading these words off a script.

"I'm sorry, I'm working, I can't do this right now." She turned around and walked toward the admit area grabbing some charts and walking away from the two soldiers and her friends. They watched her leave but no one went after her, but they knew were she was headed.

Up On The Roof

Neela was standing staring over the Chicago skyline. As Ray approached the edge of the roof he slowly lifted his hands out of his pockets and leaned against the bar.

"I was just talking to him four days ago. He was complaining about the food and i was complaining about how cold Abby's appartment is, i honestly don't know what else we were talking about." She laughed slightly at the difficulty she was having trying to remember the last conversation she had had with her husband.

"I'm so sorry Neela, I...We all are" Ray added again looking down

Neela kept looking straight ahead, she seemed to be oblivious to the fact that Ray had just spoken, "you know I was probably ordering a latte or watching celebrity poker when he was being blown up by a bomb, just like that he's gone." She could feel the tears start to well up in her eyes but she stopped them from falling.

Walking towards her, he said, "listen if you need anything, um, or you want anything..."

"No Ray, I don't, I don't need you to do anything. I just... I need to go back to work."

She went to walk away but ray grabbed her arm forcing her to look him in the eye.

"No Neela look. You need to go home, you need to take care of things, you need to take care of yourself."

Neela then started to cry hysterically as she shouted " you know what, I don't have a home, I don't have a husband, I don't have anything. All I have is this STUPID hospital," she lifted her hands to her face and tried to cover her tears. When she did that Ray could bear it no longer and went to hug her.

"Just stay the hell away from me!" she shouted and stormed off leaving Ray alone on the solitary roof with his white coat moving in the breeze.