Chapter 4: Family Bonding

Dean was pulled from his restful slumber by a sound he was quite familiar with. He opened his eyes and sure enough there was Sammy rolling his head back and forth muttering in his sleep. He was clearly engulfed in a nightmare.

"Dean. Dean!"

Dean was about to get up and go to Sammy when John rushed into the room.

"Stay," John ordered. "I got him." He sat on the edge of the sofa and shook Sam by his shoulders.

"DEAN!" Sam screamed and bolted up in the sofa.

"Sam!" John called.

Sam took one look at John and completely lost it.

"No, stay away from me!" Sam was back peddling and was literally climbing over the arm of the sofa as John tried to grab him so he didn't hurt himself.

"Oh shit," Dean exclaimed as he realized what was happening. Sam was still caught in the dream. Sam had been dreaming of the possession.

"Sam, calm down," Dad ordered.

"What did you do to Dean? Where's Dean!" Sam was just about to fall out of the sofa when Dean was suddenly behind him grabbing him.

"Sam, I'm right here. It's over. The demon is gone! It's just Dad."

"Dean?"

"Yeah, Sam, it's okay. We're all safe now."

Sam visible relaxed and raised a trembling hand to wipe the sweat from his brow. Dean continued to stand behind Sam and kept his arm wrapped around Sam's chest while Sam's breathing returned to normal.

John looked up at Dean. "Is it always this bad?"

"No. Mostly he just wakes up with a jolt, but he was dreaming of…"

"I know what he was dreaming about," John interrupted. He couldn't even find the words to describe what it was like to see Sam absolutely terrified of him.

"Anyway, most of the dreams aren't this bad. They were right after Jess, but not lately, especially since he started having the visions. I guess you could say his worst nightmares now happen when he's awake."

"I'm sitting right here," Sam said.

"Yeah?" Dean replied.

"So you're talking like I'm not even in the room."

"Once he starts bitching you know the worst is over," Dean grinned. "Dad where's the bathroom?"

"Through the kitchen," John answered.

Dean shoved Sam forward off the arm of the sofa and into the seat and then let go to head to the bathroom.

"Son, are you okay?"

"Yeah, Dad. I'm sorry if I freaked you out."

"I'm fine," John replied. "Sam, you do know that the demon, it was controlling me. I never would have done that to you or Dean."

"I know," Sam replied. "Actually, I really do know. About six months ago I was possessed by a crazy doctor. I…I actually shot Dean in the chest with rock salt."

"How did Dean react to that?"

"He was pissed…not because I shot him I don't think, but because Ellicott made me say things that I never would have said out loud to him. I mean, they were my thoughts and feelings initially but he twisted them, he…he hurt Dean in the worst way…I hurt Dean in the worst possible way."

"Sam, Dean knows how much you care about him."

Sam just nodded. His stomach picked that moment to growl. John smiled.

"I've got dinner ready."

"You cooked?"

"Yeah, why?"

"Nothing," Sam grinned.

"My cooking isn't that bad."

"I didn't say anything."

"Maybe, but you're thinking it."

"Don't tell me we have two psychics in the family now," Dean said as he came back into the living room.

"Nope, still just one," John replied. "You two come on to the table."

John went straight to the stove and took the lid off of a pot. Sam saw it was soup and opened the cupboard doors looking for bowls. He set three bowls and three spoons on the table.

"Dean, in that cabinet over there is a box of crackers. Grab them for me."

Dean found the box and set it on the table. John filled the three bowls. Dean opened the fridge to get drinks. He saw Pepsi, milk, and orange juice, but what really drew his attention was what he didn't see. There wasn't a beer anywhere in sight. It struck him that his father really had laid off the liquor and Dean was glad for that. He grabbed the gallon of milk and carried it over to the table where he poured three glasses.

They ate in silence, each lost in their own thoughts, each feeling the awkwardness of the situation. Finally it was John who broke the silence.

"Dean, Chuck said you could work at the garage too, if you wanted. You'd have to wait for the cast to come off, but it's a job if you want."

"Thanks, I'll probably take it. Do you think he'll pay me under the table too?"

"He already said he would. Also, Dean, I want you to stay away from the bars."

"Excuse me?"

"No hustling. I don't know how long we are going to be here and I don't want to have trouble or the law showing up at my doorstep."

"How long did you lease the house for?" Sam asked.

"Six months."

"Six months!" Dean gasped. "Dad, Sam and I'll be on our feet again in a few weeks."

"I know."

"So why so long?" Dean looked positively dumbfounded. The last time they had lived anywhere for six entire months he had been about eight years old.

"Because I don't know what exactly is going to happen in the immediate future," John replied.

"What do you mean?" Sam asked.

"Well, we need to earn money to get Dean a car. I want you and Dean to get back into peek condition. Sam, don't take this personal but three weeks in a coma was not exactly a good thing. You are skin and bones right now and you lost a lot of muscle. Even after that cast comes off I wouldn't want to take you on a hunt for pixies until you've had a chance to bulk up again, let alone this demon. Also, we are going to have to do a lot more research before we plan another attack on this thing. And then…" John looked like he wanted to say something more but his voice went silent.

"And what?" Sam asked.

"And I want to have the chance to spend some time with my boys again. I thought maybe we could hang out, be a family again."

"Why?"

John was shocked by the harsh edge to the word Sam had just asked him.

"Why what?"

Sam set his spoon down with a clank. "After all these years of you being our drill sergeant instead of our father now you suddenly want to change roles and be a dad again, just like that." Sam snapped his fingers as if to make his point. "You rent this house, tell us you've quit drinking, and say you want to spend time with us and expect everything to just be forgiven? You abandoned Dean. You hid from us for a year. You sent the two of us on jobs that almost got us killed. We needed you in Lawrence! Dean needed you when he was dying. I needed you when Dean was dying. You pop in to say hello in Chicago and then you're gone again. You show up in Colorado not because you were looking for us but because your old buddy Elkins was dead. The only reason you showed your face to us that night at all was because we had the letter. But hey, it's okay now because John Winchester has decided to stop playing sergeant and now wants to be father of the year."

John closed his eyes and sighed. He waited for Dean to intervene. Usually when Sammy started ranting at him Dean was always able to rein Sammy back in. So, he was more than just a little surprised when he opened his eyes to look at Dean and saw not only was Dean not coming to the rescue on this one but he was actually waiting for John to respond to Sam accusations.

"I failed you boys as a father. I know that. Everything you said is true Sam. I abandoned you both. I lied to you both. I can't go back and fix the past, but we are alive and here today. When I saw that mangled car I knew that none of us should have made it out of that wreck. The three of us should have died that night, but for some reason we didn't. I don't know if God was watching out for us or if it was Mary, but it was definitely a miracle. We have another chance…another chance to be a family.

"And Sam, to answer your question, no I'm not going to stop being a drill sergeant. I don't think I could stop that even if I really wanted to. It's too much a part of who I am after all of these years. Besides, we know the demon is still out there. Like it or not a battle is coming, but the reasons are different now."

"What do you mean?" Sam asked.

"For twenty-two years my primary reason for going after that thing was to avenge your mother's death. I didn't care if I hurt you boys along the way. I didn't care if you two had a normal life. I loved Mary with every fiber of my being, just as much as you loved Jess. Unfortunately for me, when Mary died I didn't have a brother like Dean to pull me through the worst of it. When I told my brother what happened that night he told me I was crazy and that I needed to get help. He even recommended taking you boys off my hands until I was seeing things more clearly. So I was alone in my grief with two small children who were depending on me."

"So if avenging mom isn't you main reason for hunting any more then what is?" Sam asked.

"You," John replied. "I'm not fighting for Mary any more. I'm fighting to save you. You're never going to be free to live your life until this thing is dead. It's going to keep coming after you. So yes, I'm going to still be a drill sergeant. I'm going to give orders and whip you two back into shape, but maybe I can be a father too. It isn't going to be easy and I know I'm going to make mistakes, but I would like the chance to try."

Dean was ready to nod his head yes when Sam spoke up once more. "There are going to be some conditions."

John actually smirked at that comment. "Such as?"

Sam cleared his throat…obviously a little shocked that John was even going to hear him out.

"Dean and I have to be allowed to share our opinions without you jumping down our throats. I'm not saying you have to necessarily agree with them, but you have to hear us out."

"Okay."

Dean was floored. If his eyebrows rose any higher on his head he would have looked like a cartoon character.

"Also…"

"There's more?" John asked.

"Yes, once a week we actually have to take a night off. We have to do something fun, whether it's the movies, hanging out at a bar playing darts, or just relaxing at home not looking for something supernatural to hunt."

"Sammy," John grumbled.

"Don't tell me I'm being unreasonable," Sam interrupted. "For twenty-two years you missed birthdays, holidays, school functions, and the chance to watch us grow up. You want to be a father now, fine, one night a week is family night."

"Fine, you can have Wednesdays."

"Why Wednesdays?" Dean asked.

"Because we will probably need Fridays for hunting, especially if we are going out of town for the weekend. Also, Wednesday is my early shift. I get home by 4:00, so I'll have more time for you boys."

"Wait…so you're agreeing to this?" Dean asked, looking for all the world like he was watching aliens playing poker.

"Yeah, I guess I am," John replied, and slowly his grimace turned into a grin. "I am agreeing to Sammy's conditions."

"And it's Sam."

"Wrong, it's Sammy. It's always going to be Sammy so get over that one already," Dad replied, which caused Dean to laugh and choke on his soup.

"Careful there, Deanie, we wouldn't want you to spew across the table," Sam griped.

Dean's reply was to flip him the bird and keep laughing.