Chapter 13: Feeling Whole Again

A/N: Thank you all for being so patient and for keeping the "Write Faster" e-mails to a minimum :-) Here's the next chapter as promised and I already have a pretty good start and even the chapter after this. Enjoy.

00000000000

Once again Sam found himself sitting between his father and his brother. He felt a mix of emotions. His father had saved his life tonight. Sam had been done for but Dad pulled him back to the shore and his family literally brought him back from the dead. That bit of knowledge made him feel incredibly safe as he sat between the two people who loved him so much they would die, or even kill, for him…not that he wanted it to come to that. Still, for years he had questioned his father's love for him, and now to have that love confirmed by words and actions helped to fill a void in his heart that had existed since Jessica's death. Since losing Jess Sam had felt like a piece of him was missing and that it would never be returned. He realized tonight that he didn't feel that way anymore. Sure, he still loved and missed Jessica, but he was no longer a broken man. Sam was whole again because his brother and his father loved him.

"You're awfully quiet," Dean announced.

"Just thinking," Sam said softly, not wanting to disturb the peaceful feeling that currently was in the cab of the truck.

"That's never a good thing," Dean grinned.

"Actually, this time I think it is," Sam replied with his own grin.

"Why, what are you thinking about?"

Sam knew he couldn't really say the thoughts that had crossed his mind. Dean would just roll his eyes and make some crude joke.

"Just good things," Sam replied simply, hoping that would be enough for his brother. Apparently it was.

"Good," Dean replied.

Sam looked over at his father. He knew Dad had been listening to them talk but he didn't seem to feel a need to join the conversation. His focus was straight ahead on the road. His grip on the steering wheel seemed unnaturally tight. He was tempted to ask his father if he was okay but decided against it. John Winchester would only tell what he was thinking when he felt he needed to share. Asking him to share before he was ready would be a waste of time.

000000000000

It was almost four in the morning by the time the Winchesters returned to their hotel room. Sam and Dean had been given clean bills of health and new stiff Velcro braces to wear instead of their fiberglass casts. Sam also sported several new stitches to close his deeper puncture wounds. The boys had been allowed to shower at the hospital but John was still wearing his mud crusted clothes.

Dean dropped onto his side of the bed. "Ow," he grumbled and rubbed his ass. "I still don't understand why we had to get our shots in our ass."

"You probably could have gotten them in your arm if you hadn't insisted on pissing off the nurse," John smirked.

"Yeah, well Attila the Hun needs to improve her bedside manner."

"Quite complaining," Sam said. "You got one shot. I got four!"

"Yeah, well that's what happens when you let a troll take a bite out of you."

"I didn't LET it take a bite, it sort of helped itself," Sam pointed out. He removed his sling and lay back in his bed not bothering to remove his scrubs. They were actually very comfortable.

"Sammy, how big was the thing?" John asked.

"I'm not entirely sure. Much of what happened is a bit of a blur for me but I would guess it to be about three and a half feet or so. It's pretty strong and of course there are the razor sharp teeth. It's cautious though. It never wanted a direct attack. It wanted me to drown first so it could avoid injury. A small child would never stand a chance against it."

"What did it look like?" Dean asked. "I couldn't see much from where I was."

"Its skin is lizard like, but it's bigger than a lizard and it has a longer snout and taller forehead." Sam yawned. It had been a long night and the pain relievers they had given him just before leaving the hospital were kicking in.

"Okay, I want both of you to get some sleep," John said. "I figure we'll go back around ten o'clock and disarm all of the troll's booby traps. Then we'll see if we can find and kill it."

Dean sat down on the bed he shared with Sam and started to remove his brace. The doctor had given him permission to sleep without it but it had to be on when he was awake. He also kept on his scrubs and slid his tired body under the covers. It felt good to be in bed, out of the hospital, and to know that his family was safe and together.

Sam and Dean both snuggled down under the covers and let out comfortable sighs. John turned out the light. He quietly shed his dirty clothes and grabbed his toiletries from his bag. He also made a point of grabbing to container of salt and lining the door and windowsill with it so they'd be safe. He used a thumb tack to hang the dream catcher on the wall over Sammy's head but he doubted Sam would have any nightmares tonight. Sam had always slept more peacefully when Dean was close by.

Finally John went into the bathroom to get clean so he could get a few hours sleep before going back to the hunt.

000000000000000

Dean was the first to wake the next morning. He stretched out in bed and looked over at Sammy. His brother was still deeply asleep, probably with help from the drugs. He realized Sam had slept through the night with any nightmares, which was always a blessing. After drowning and almost being eaten he wouldn't have blamed Sam if he had had one.

He sat up in bed and put his brace back on his leg. He didn't really think he needed it any more and even told the doctor that but of course Dad had sided with the doctor that they needed to error on the side of caution. Dad had even told him that he was no good to them if he was lame. He climbed out of bed and went to the bathroom to relieve his bladder. When he stepped back into the room he saw his father up out of bed and hovering over Sam. Dad quickly raised a finger to his lips motioning for Dean to keep it down.

"He all right?" Dean whispered.

"Yeah, I was just checking to see if he was running a fever. The doctor said to keep an eye on both of you for the next couple of days."

"Feel free to keep and eye on Sam, but I'm fine," Dean said softly.

"You can stop whispering," Sam groaned and stretched in bed.

"Sorry, son, I didn't mean to wake you."

"It's okay," Sam said with a yawn. He sat up in bed and rubbed at his face with his free arm. He felt a little groggy which he guessed was a result of the pills.

"We need to get cleaned up and pack up. Check out is at eleven."

"What about the troll?" Sam asked. He didn't want his father to cancel the hunt because he had gotten hurt.

"Don't worry, we're going after it today, but I don't want to have to pay for another night in the hotel if I can avoid it. I want to go home tonight when this is over."

It sounded like a wonderful plan to Sam but he could see from the look on Dean's face that his brother wasn't in all that much of a hurry to go back home. Sam realized that Dean hadn't been kidding when he said he wasn't cut out to live a normal life. Life on the road was the only kind Dean had ever known. Now Dad was changing they way they had always done things and Dean was having a hard time adjusting to this new way of living.

"So, uh, what are we going to do today? I mean, it should only take about an hour to scope this thing out and find his traps. Are we going to spend the rest of the day sitting on a park bench until the sun goes down?" Dean asked.

"We'll think of something," John said.

"Actually, I have an idea," Sam piped in.

"What?" Dean asked.

"Uh, just trust me," Sam replied with a grin.

"Trust you with what?" Dean persisted.

"It's a surprise, but I will need you two to drive me somewhere after we have breakfast."

"Where to?" John asked.

"You'll see."

Dean waited for Dad protest. Dad was not known for liking surprises and didn't like not being able to make the final decisions on things. Dean actually hoped Dad didn't tear into Sam though. The kid had been through enough last night.

"Well, I suggest we pack up then. It shouldn't take too long since none of us needs to shower," John replied, and then he did something that Dean never remembered seeing his father do. John smirked at them.

Sam climbed out of bed slowly, his side obviously causing him a little discomfort. He put his sling back on and wandered into the bathroom.

For a moment Dean wondered if Dad was possessed again but then when John yelled at Dean to snap out of it and hurry up Dean's realized his Dad was still Dad. Part of Dean liked this new and improved John Winchester, which resulted from his father watching Sammy and him almost die in a fucked up car crash. Now Dad would be hit with the affects of almost losing Sam again last night. But then, another part of Dean wasn't sure about the changes in his father. Sometimes it actually bugged him.

This new John Winchester did things that were out of character and it threw Dean when he did that. There was comfort to be found in the things you knew. Still, he knew that his father was trying really hard to do better and he also knew that it was important for Sammy that these changes continue. Sammy would never be able to stay if he and Dad had reverted into their old pattern of constant bitching.

As much as Dean loved seeing his father and brother getting along, he couldn't deny the touch of jealousy he felt. If Sam were still at Stanford and it had just been dad and him in that car that night, would he alone have been enough to make his father change? Did Dad quit drinking and get them a home because of his concern for both of his sons, or because of his concern for Sam? No sooner did the thought cross his mind he felt guilty for thinking it. Of course his father loved him, and Dean found himself cursing the demon for ever putting doubts in his head.

"I'm ready to go," Sam announced as he came out of the bathroom now dressed in jeans and a t-shirt. "Man is it easier to get dressed when you can actually take the brace off and then put it back on afterwards. I really don't think I need to wear this thing anymore, though. My arm feels fine."

"It's staying on," John insisted. "You two both heard the doctor last night. He said the bones had knitted back together but they were still weak. There's no point in risking another break just because you two numskulls are feeling impatient."

Dean and Sam shared an amused look and then Dean headed into the bathroom to get dressed. A few minutes later all were pack and ready to go.

"Let's toss this stuff in the truck and go," John said.

After a quick stop to turn in the room key John drove to the diner that was just down the road where they found $1.99 breakfast specials. They placed their orders and sipped their hot coffee.

"Sam fidgeted slightly. The booth wasn't very comfortable and there was no way for him to sit without putting some pressure on his stitches.

"You okay?" Dean asked.

"Yeah, I'm fine. I'm just now learning that having teeth holes in your back isn't the greatest thing." Sam looked up his father and saw a strange look in his face. Sam had a feeling he was the reason for that look. "Dad, I'm sorry about last night," Sam apologized. "I should have been more careful."

"Sammy, I'm not mad," John said. He saw the disbelieving looks on his sons' faces and continued. "Yeah, last night I was pissed, I admit it. Neither of you used good judgment but I'm not exactly blameless in all of this. I should have waited for morning the way someone had suggested. Today we will be more careful. I'll go to the water's edge while you two hang back. I've got a shovel and I'll go side to side searching for traps and disable them."

"How are we going to catch the troll?" Sam asked.

"Actually, I have an idea on that," Dean replied.

"What?" John asked.

"Last night that troll pulled Sam in like a fish on a hook. I say we repay the favor. Once we locate his other traps I say we connect the winch on the back of the truck to the ropes. When it gets dark we jiggle the rope and let the troll think he's made a fresh catch. When he tugs on the rope we flip on the winch and reel the little bastard in."

"What's to keep the troll from letting go of the rope?" Sam asked.

"His first reaction will be to hold on. He didn't get to eat last night. He's probably good and hungry. He won't want to lose a second meal. Besides we'll pull him out so fast he won't realize what's happening. Dad can be standing on the shore and chop the little critter's head right off."

"I like it," John replied. "Good job son."

Sam watched as Dean's whole face lit up. It never failed to amaze him how just a few words or praise from their father could do that to both Dean and him.

"I just have one suggestion," John added. "The winch actually works pretty slowly. It's more about pulling than speed. When the troll grabs his rope you should probably just floor the truck and pull him out that way."

"Okay," Dean nodded.