Hikari – Planet B Remix

I have come to a realization…I am bad at straight drama. I find quite boring to write, to tell the truth. I am a comedian at heart so from now on most of my stories will have a high dose of comedy. There will be the nice mushy dramatic/romantic scenes of coarse, but this story over all is just plain silliness. I mean really…druken Squally people, what can get funnier than that?
Please continue to enjoy!
- Kirux

Chapter Two: I Don't Believe Compltely in Us

"Sephy-kun!" Sora squealed and gave the tall man a hug, who returned the affection by ruffling Sora's hair. It would have been funny seeing the two next to eachother…seeing as Sora was so short he barely came up to the man's shoulders; spikey hair included.

"I heard from Choco that it was your birthday today and that there was going to be a big party, so I decided to stop by and join the festivities," he walked into the room and looked around at the madness that was my living room.

Oh where to begin on describing the scene he saw? Hayner was piss ass drunk and was constantly hitting on Wakka, who had to keep him at bay with an umbrella. Merlin was kinda creeping me out cause he had put on "Shake Your Groove Thing" and was dancing on top of the coffee table doing what appeared to be, a strip tease. If that wasn't desturbing enough, Selphie was sitting on the foot stool throwing money and rooting him on. Aerith had disappeared hours ago, and I kind of envied her. She knew when to get out before all of this started to happen. Cid was passed out in my bathtub, which I don't know if I could ever go in again.

You see, Sora's mom had stopped by to give Sora his present, and by the look and smell of it, it could only have been Tuna Salad Surprise. Well, she in't as tolerent of Sora's and mine relationship as my mom is, so walking in on some of things she did had to be shocking. I guess she needed a breather so she went to use our downstair's bathroom. I didn't think much of it until I heard her shriek in horror, than hit the floor as she passed out. I rushed to the scene to see Seifer fucking Leon hardcore in our bathtub. Let me explain to you the level of hardcore; Leon was on all four screaming in extacy while shotuing "Fuck me harder Daddy!" as Seifer pounded into him repatedly, with no mercy, while calling him a filthy cocksucking whore. How I managed not hear this amazed even me, and what's more than that they didn't seem to care that they now had Sora's mom passed out on the floor infront of them plus Sora, Selphie, Yuffie, Tidus, Cloud and I staring at them with our jaws lieing on the floor. Selphie and Yuffie high fived and continued to watch, while Tidus went running upstairs screaming something about his eyes. Sora snickered and wobbled away, already having had too much wine.

"At least you won't have to deal with them after tonight," Cloud grunted turning away, "I swear if Leon even thinks about inviting him to move in with us…" he cussed and lombered off to the couch where we continued to talk until the present time.

"Quite a group of friends you have here," Sephy said taking in the site without so much as a flinch, "I hope I didn't miss anything really important. Well, Sor-kun, aren't you gonna open you're present?"

"OH YEA!" He said with a slur. He ripped open the packagin and gasp as his eyes lit up, "OH MY GOD! SEPHY THIS IS THE GREATEST! HOW DID YOU EVER GET YOUR HANDS A COPY OF ABBA'S GREATEST HITS?" he lunged at the man embracing him tightly, too tightly for my liking. I got up and moved over to them, trying to be as nonchalent as possible.

"Hey Sora," I grabbed Sora's shoulder and pulled him Seph, "You still haven't gotten my present. Why don't you come with me and I'll show it to you!"

Sora let go of Seph and looked at me, with a huge grin on his face, "Okay Riku, but first I'd like you to meet sephiroth. I whopped his ass a couple of times when he challenged me, and after that we became pretty good friends."

"So I have heard," I stared at this Sephiroth and I did my best not seem hostile. I reached out my hand, "It's nice to meet you Sephiroth. I'm Sora's boyfriend, Riku."

"I've heard a lot about you, too," He shook me hand and smirked, "You're the one who opened yourself to the darkness leading to the ultimate demise of this island, right?"

Everyone seemed to stop as they heard that, I heard Yuffie say "Ooooooooh snap! Riku just got burnt."

I looked back at her, looking square in the eyes, "Crysanthamums!" She squealed and ran off to hide. I looked back at Sephy and let go of his hand, "Yeah, that would be me. Now Sora, come ehre I want to give you your present!" I grabbed Sora's hand and pulled him out to the backyard.

"Riku, why are you being so, moody? It's a party, lighten up! Have a few drinls!" He giggled and sat down on the glider. Yes, we have a glider, but it was all Sora's idea. Damnit, why are we such total fags?

"If I started drinking than no one would could keep this mess in control, but that's not my point," I pulled out a small box that wasn't even wrapped and handed it to him, "I found this in Radiant garden the other day, you'll love it."

He grabbed the box and opened it, the crisp night air seemingly sobering him up a bit, "Oh my Riku! This is the best present anyone has ever given me!" He flung his arms around me, still clutching the storybook in his hand as he kissed me deeply.

"Well, at least now you won't go on and on about how good you were at all those minigames, because I'm gonna kick your ass at them," I smiled at him as he gazed at the book. Who knew all it took was Winne the Pooh to make him this happy?

"I;m gonna go in now, say hi to everyone. I bet they miss me really bad!" Sora started to squirm with impatience as he he leafed through the pages, "Oh and they are all here, too! Finally, no more searching for torn pages!"

"Well, have fun. I'm gonna start kicking people out of our house now," I got up and walked back inside. I was happy that he was was so happy, but I wasn't happy about having to find all these people, than convince them to leave.

The easiest to find was Tidus, he was hiding in a corner in the upstair hall way. He was more than happy to leave, and thanked me for letting him go. Next I found Seifer and Leon, this time clothed and sober, glaring at each other while sitting at the kitchen table. I told them that I wouldn't stand fighting in here, let alone anymore sex in my bath tub. Seifer mumbled soemthing about a motle and Leon agreed. They disappeared into the late night. Wakka had escaped earlier, trying desperately to keep Hayner out of his pants, but to his dismay Hayner had follwed him. Cloud 'persuaded' Yuffie and Selphie to help him get Merlin to hotel room, and they were on there way too. I had carried Sora's mom up to the guest bedroom, and put her on the bed earlier, so the only person that was left was that Sephiroth guy.

I looked all over the house, but couldn't find him anywhere. I figured he must have left after I had taken Sora away. Ha, allmighty my ass. I my last present for sora out of the refrigerator and headed outback to give it to him. I opened the back door and dropped the papou on the ground as I froze at what I saw before me. Right there, on our back porch, on our extremely gay looking glider, Sephiroth and Sora were locked into a very heated kiss.

Sephiroth looked up and smiled at me. A very evil, sly, victorious looking smile, "Oh hello, Riku. I was just giving Sora one last birthday present."

"Oh no, Riku, please, I can explain!" Sora jumped up and walked towards me, "Riku, just don't do anything rash…"

But it was too late, I had already summoned my keyblade and was charging at Sephiroth, tears streaming down my face.

Oh and the evil cliffy strikes again! Mwahahahahahahahaahahaha! Stay tuned to see how this will end! I'll make it good! Don't fret! (No that does not mean the next chapter is the end of the story.) Sorry for any extremely bad spelling or grammar errors. It's really late and the PC I'm typing on doesn't have spell checker. Reviews are more than welcome, and me me feel loved!
- Kirux