Disclaimer: 'House' is not mine, I just love to borrow without permission.
Trouble on the Horizon
It had been a near miss, and he did not enjoy having his reflexes tested in that manner. Only being a glutton for punishment had sent House lunging forward to wrap an arm around Cuddy's falling form, even as his leg protested the sudden abuse. Still, he had restrained the woman from a nasty fall, carefully lowering her to the ground as he wondered how long it would take her to recover. The answer was apparent only a few minutes later, as her eyelids flickered before slowly opening with cloudy uncertainty.
Finding herself lying prone on the floor was a surprise. Cuddy gazed up at the ceiling as she tried to recall what had brought her to this point, unaware of the other presence in her office training sharp blue eyes on her that narrowed in unspoken worry.
"If you wanted to get my attention, all you had to do was toy with the sole remaining button on that dangerously low neckline," House's familiar voice drawled. "Throwing yourself at my feet was a little desperate, don't you think?"
She looked towards the direction of the voice, locating House sitting in her chair, chin propped on his cane. "Such a gentleman, taking the chair and leaving the lady to the floor."
"I strained my leg in my noble attempt to catch the damsel in distress as she prettily fainted," he faked a whine to cover any lingering concern over her sudden collapse.
"House-" About to open her mouth to declare that she didn't faint, prettily or otherwise, Cuddy thought back to the last moments that she could recall and reluctantly concurred that her symptoms probably did indicate House's verdict. Changing tacks, she continued, "I'm astounded at yet another brilliant analysis from the head of Diagnostics. Now it's clear why I keep you around." She carefully assessed the strength in her legs she risked standing up again.
"If you're impressed by that, wait til I enlighten you on my theory that it was my incredibly handsome and virile appearance that caused you to faint." He relished the emphasis on the last word, rubbing in her appearance of weakness. Far be it from him to betray anxiety over her unexpected display of fragility- that was a characteristic that better related to Cameron, whose mere appearance engendered descriptions along the lines of 'fragile', 'delicate', 'sensitive' and 'vulnerable'. House had never once ascribed those terms to the fiery, strong-willed Dean of Medicine, and he wasn't about to start now.
Cuddy pulled herself to her feet, relieved at being able to level out of playing field. Being loomed over by the diagnostician was not especially appealing. "Typical House. A woman collapses and all he can think about is that it must have been due to his irresistible charm and charismatic appeal. There could have been no sound medical basis for such an event, could there?" she enquired sarcastically. "And while you're here, why don't you use a tiny fraction of the many hours of clinic duty to give me a proper diagnosis? Just to practice, it's been a while for you."
"And in return, I get…?" he trailed off, before continuing smoothly, "Nothing, but the satisfaction of a job well done. For you, my dear doctor Cuddy, the service is free. Too little sleep, not enough food, migraine…rest and drink plenty of fluids, that's my professional opinion. Try and avoid stress at work…" a wicked gleam lit his eye, before he went on even more outrageously, "Now I must congratulate you, this scheme was ingenious. Cameron would never have thought of faking illness to attract my medical notice."
She rolled her eyes at the notion the situation had been engineered. "Your ego never rests, does it?"
"All work and no play…"
"…makes Lisa Cuddy a sick girl and Gregory House a dull boy?" she said sweetly.
"Woman, you blithely court the danger of hate mail from my myriad of female admirers!"
Cuddy gazed down at him in challenge. "Name one."
"That blond down in Oncology…K- something… Kitty, Karen…Katherine, that's it."
She raised her brow mockingly. "Katherine's in love with Doctor Chase, from what I hear."
"Why that weasly- it's the Australian accent, I tell you," he shrugged. "I should try my hand at a foreign accent myself…British, perhaps…that should impress the ladies."
"I hate to rain on your parade, but it may be more the angelic good looks, blonde hair and blue eyes that Doctor Chase boasts than his accent. And it would take more than faking a British accent to put you in the running to compete!"
"I have blue eyes…" he pointed out. "Now do I stand a chance?"
"Not that many people notice, probably because they're scared to come close enough to check, in case you bite their nose off," Cuddy said dryly.
"I'm offended that you would believe me capable of such unsubtlety. My modus operandi tends more towards gnawing at the unfortunate party- it prolongs the torture that way. Speaking of gnawing…" House vacated her chair in a flurry of movement. "Would you care to join me for a meal in the hospital cafeteria?"
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A/N: I know that one or two of the reviewers asked if I was giving Cuddy a medical problem, and I must admit, that thought never crossed my mind- her collapse was just a plot device! Since this is my first House story, I might just try and keep things simple til I have the hang of it- but the notion of having Cuddy suffering from an illness may appear in the future, when I can properly research it and all. Meanwhile, hope you enjoyed the latest chapter! Now all you have to do is review…