"I thought Santa had a list that he checked twice," I said, wiping sweat from my brow. I looked around at the Yo-kai; Komasan had long since fallen asleep, and Komajiro had tucked him into my bed. Komajiro himself didn't look tired in the slightest, instead tapping away at his smartphone. Insomni was still trying to shake gifts to find whatever belonged to her, and Hanako was chatting away on her phone-something about her store's schedule for Christmas hours until she could get back from this job.
"So make it work! I can't leave this job until everything's done!" Hanako snapped into the phone before angrily tapping the screen to drop the call. She sighed in frustration, shaking her head. "How am I supposed to run a fashion empire if I can't get good help?"
"Now now, dear, that's not in the Christmas spirit!" Insomni said, pausing in her gift shaking. "Don't you have Dazzabel watching the store while you're gone? Surely, she knows you enough to handle it."
"You're probably right," Hanako sighed, nodding in reply. "I should leave it to her." Hanako placed her phone in her pants pocket, looking at the pile of presents in the middle of the bedroom floor. "At least we have this taken care of. Now, all we have to do is wait until night and deliver them."
"We can't deliver them! I haven't found mine yet!" Insomni whined, resuming shaking the boxes. "Come on, where is it!" I rolled my eyes and smirked at this, shaking my head. For a Yo-kai that thought herself a master seductress, she sure didn't act like it all the time. I looked over at the Koma brothers, who were now both asleep; Komajiro was curled up against his brother with a smile on his face.
I wanted to give them an extra blanket, but I didn't get a chance to stand from my seat-right above Komasan, something started to appear. A strange, purple thing that looked like some kind of portal. Still asleep, Komasan was slowly pulled from my bed and sucked into it-Komajiro was still hugging him and was also pulled inside. I looked over at Hanako and Insomni for instruction, but Hanako was being pulled into a similar portal. Insomni, fortunately, wasn't going anywhere.
"What the hell is going on?!" I asked, standing so quickly that I stumbled over my own feet. "Is everyone being abducted? What's happening?!" Insomni paused and looked at me; her expression read "are you serious?" without her speaking a word. "Are they coming back? Am I being attacked?"
"They're being summoned, dummy," Insomni replied, placing the gift in her hands back on the floor. "We have more friends than you, remember?" I looked at the floor, refusing to answer. I have to admit, that made me jealous; then again, everyone has friends other than those they hang out with, right? Of course supernatural creatures have others they need to attend to. Even if Hanako and Insomni lived with me, it's not like they were glued to my side.
For some reason, this all felt like the Yo-kai were cheating on me. It was stupid, sure, but it brought back something I had been told a while back: I just had to be special. Maybe Baddinyan wasn't too far off from what he said. I sat down on my bed, sighing loudly-then blushing when I caught myself doing it. I was a pissy noise away from throwing a mini-tantrum like a kid. Insomni floated to the bed and next to me, patting my shoulder.
"This has never happened before, right?" Insomni asked, smiling at me. "More people than you in Springdale have Yo-kai Watches, you know. They're mass-produced, not one-of-a-kind. Not even your glasses are exclusive to you anymore. You were the human I chose to communicate with, but Nate already had a watch when I met him."
"That's right, you did give me my glasses," I replied, taking them from my ears and cleaning them with my shirt before putting them back on. "What made you pick me, anyway? Or did you already tell me and I just forgot? Something about banging, probably." I rambled, ignoring the increasingly annoyed look on Insomni's face.
"Not everything is about sex!" Insomni snapped at me, gently punching me in the shoulder. "I wanted a partner of my own and I came across you! I could sense that you were still awake when everyone else in the apartments was sleeping, so I checked you out. I liked you and there was something about you that interested me," Insomni's story made me feel pretty special as I listened-exactly like the little special snowflake I apparently had become. "I wanted to know more."
"I had just got new glasses that day, too," I continued her story, recalling that night. "I was getting tired and struggling to stay awake, but my body wasn't having it. Then I heard you, and ..." Insomni pecked my cheek to interrupt me.
"Here we are," she finished my sentence. "Your first Yo-kai friend and your one true partner, if we ignore ... that other thing that happened, whatever it was." She waved a hand dismissively; she was referring to meeting Hanako, of course. I gave her a tight hug, seeing her blush as I embraced her. "S-Stop it!" Insomni protested but didn't push me away. "Just summon them all back! You have medals!"
I could do that, but it felt like I was snatching them away from whoever needed them. Hanako would just come home when she was ready to do the Santa thing, and I figure that Komasan and Komajiro would follow her. Before Insomni and I could continue speaking, a different sound came from behind us. We both turned, seeing Sailornyan curled up on the windowsill. She looked at us, scratching her rump with one of her tails.
"Nyow you pay attention to me," Sailornyan said with a yawn, covering her mouth with a paw. "Nyou treat me like a decoration, ya knyow? It's nyot really nyice."
"Please stop talking like that," I replied, shrugging my shoulders. "I'm sorry, I don't mean to ignore you, but it's a little annoying when all you want to do is hump my leg."
"Doesn't stop her," Sailornyan pointed at Insomni, who had started rubbing her chest against my arm. She quickly pulled away and put her hands behind her back, whistling innocently. "I've been here long enough that I think I'm over that nyow, anyway." Sailornyan stood from the window and jumped down to the bed. "Speaking of medals and friends, I don't think you have mine." She reached into her skirt pocket-something I didn't know her skirt had-and fished out a pink Dream Medal.
It had the same color scheme as Komasan and Komajiro's, pink and white stripes. The art was of Sailornyan holding a pink-wrapped candy bar with a very happy look on her face. Behind her picture were giant strawberries, a giant candy bar, and what looked like either clouds or cotton candy-probably the latter. 'SAILORNYAN' was written in blue underneath the art. I nodded and grabbed the medallium, placing it inside next to Komajiro's. I was getting a small collection of Charming tribe Yo-kai.
"I wonder if Baddinyan has one'a these ..." I thought out loud, looking at my collection. "Hungramps probably does."
With a poof of purple smoke, Hanako appeared in the room. I looked up from the medals, giving her a smile; thanks to the distractions from Sailornyan and Insomni, I had completely forgotten about not being a super special friend-exclusive snowflake. Hanako floated down towards me and looked at the medals, instantly seeing the new one.
"I wondered when Sailornyan was going to give you her medal," Hanako commented, popping it out of the page and examining it. "It's pretty cute, especially for a nyan's medal."
"What's that supposed to mean?!" Sailornyan snapped at her. "Nyans are the cutest Yo-kai in the world! Cats are the best! If you're so smart, what's the best tribe?"
"Eerie," Hanako, Insomni, and I all replied in unison. Sailornyan looked shocked at our response before snatching the medal from Hanako and gently placing it back in the medallium. She looked offended for a moment before jumping back to the window, stretching out and curling back into her napping pose.
"Nyou guys are jerks ..." Sailornyan yawned, closing her eyes. "Start calling me once in a while, okay? I live here too ..." with that, she quickly fell back asleep. Well, at least she's not trying to make me bang her anymore-and who knows, maybe she's really useful in a sticky situation. I'll call her the next time I'm in a jam.
"It's about time to get ready," Hanako said, holding her hands forward and making a large, white sack appear in her right hand. With a snap of her fingers, the presents piled on the floor were sucked into the bag-and the bag's size barely changed. Insomni and I watched in amazement as the last present disappeared into the sack. Hanako looked confused at our reaction. "What? How do you expect me to carry all of these things?"
"But we spent ... so much time ...!" Insomni floated towards her, looking quite angry. "All that sorting and you just put them all together?!"
"We had to make sure nothing was missing," Hanako replied, shrugging her shoulders. "Now when we go to a house, the present we need will be at the very top of the pile. It'll be quick and easy." Insomni groaned in frustration but turned back around, floating slightly above my bed and next to me.
"Where'd you go, anyway?" I asked. "Aren't we timed on starting this?"
"Nate needed me for something," Hanako replied. "A while back, there was a Yo-kai that decided they wanted to take over my bathroom and I had to kick him out. He called himself 'Throne Wiper.' That weird guy came back and didn't wanna leave until I accepted his declaration of love."
"H-His what." I stammered. I felt the energy drain from my body. Hanako rolled her eyes.
"Oh, please, you know better," Hanako replied, shaking her head. "I don't move in with just anyone, and I certainly didn't accept or even listen to him. He makes toilet paper float everywhere and steals it so the kids at the school won't have any. It's both rude and annoying to deal with." I sighed in relief.
"Uh, good," I replied. I motioned for her to approach me, and watched as she floated down in front of me. I pulled her into a hug. "Sorry, I should know better. You're right." I felt her gently nuzzle against my chest, making me hug her closer to me. I felt Insomni lay her head on my shoulder, looking over at me.
"I don't even go near people that make toilet paper float," Insomni said, smiling at me. "That makes me better, right?"
"You're a bitch," Hanako said in the most cheerful-sounding way possible as she pulled away from me with a smile. Insomni smiled at her and nodded in response.
"You're short and a child," Insomni replied. Hanako's smile instantly dropped and she glared at Insomni.
"I'm not a child, I'm-" Hanako started, but I put a finger over her lips.
"You're sexy, we know, and you're in your seventies. We know." I smirked, finishing her line. I looked over at my laptop's screen, seeing that it was quickly getting late. With it being winter, it would be dark outside pretty soon. "Should we get going? Where are Komasan and Komajiro?"
As if on cue, I heard the front door open. I tilted my head, seeing two sets of flaming eyebrows walking into the apartment.
"I told ya he lived here, brother!" Komajiro exclaimed, sounding proud of himself.
"Oh my swirls! Yer so smart, Komajiro!" Komasan praised his younger brother.
"Right on time, guys!" I said, standing up to greet them. "We need to be leaving and I have no idea what to do!"
"Come on, let's go, all of us," Hanako said, floating towards the door. She turned, looking at something-something behind me. "You too, cat. I'll need everyone."
"Finally, some action!" Sailornyan replied as she jumped from the windowsill once again, running for the door on her stubby little legs. "Let's go!"
It was snowing when we all stepped outside. Just in front of the railing was a sleigh, hovering in place. It looked just like Santa's sleigh from Christmas specials, which makes sense-Hanako is Santa, after all. Hanako floated to the sleigh and sat down in the front on a white bench. The Koma brothers hopped over the rail and landed on the seat behind her, with Insomni slowly lowering herself next to them. Trembling as I forced myself to climb over the rail, I stumbled and fell onto the seat behind the three Yo-kai. The bag full of gifts was next to me.
Unfortunately for me, Sailornyan was holding on to my head as the sleigh started to fly. I could've sworn I felt her rub against me. I ignored it as we slowly ascended into the sky. There were no reindeer pulling the sleigh, instead, there were blue flames shooting out from behind it. Rocket-powered, huh? Maybe Santa retired the reindeer.
"Let's go!" Hanako exclaimed as we started to fly towards the town.
Delivering presents ended up being a fun, yet frustrating, experience. The first house was fine; Hanako grabbed whatever present the kid wanted, phased through their bedroom window, put the gift next to their bed, and made her way out. It wasn't until Komasan asked to make a delivery that things went wrong. Having been Santa in the past, Komasan (and Komajiro as his co-Santa) should've had plenty of experience ... but with Komasan being Komasan, nothing ever goes without a hitch.
"Oh mah swirls! Lookit this, Komajiro! Look!" Komasan exclaimed in one house, pointing frantically at a large ... thing in this home's living room. Komasan had wanted to try going down the chimney like Santa did in stories, so unfortunately the brothers didn't instantly end up in a kid's room. Whoever this family was, one of them must work in ice cream-a giant novelty lamp shaped like a soft-serve ice cream cone was on a table in the room. Komasan tried to taste it.
Luckily, Komajiro pulled him away just as his brother's tongue was about to touch it.
"I'm the one who has lightnin' powers, brother!" Komajiro whispered hastily, pulling his older sibling away. "You'll shock yourself tryin' to taste that thing! Let's deliver the present and go!" Thankfully, all it took was a quiet walk up a single flight of stairs to reach the kid's room and drop off the gift. When Komajiro told me all of this back in the sleigh, I patted Komasan's head and told him I'd get him an ice cream cone even bigger than that some time.
Hanako turned to face me, giving me a confused look. I shook my head; she wasn't going to ruin this for me. Komasan looking happy was all I needed.
"My turn!" Insomni exclaimed from her spot in the sleigh, raising her hand. "I wanna do the next one!"
"I don't know if you should," Hanako said, steering the sleigh without turning back. "The year you were Santa, I heard complaints that you accidentally kept delivering sex toys and books about how to seduce men to girls. Girls that wanted dolls and bears." Hanako shook her head in disbelief, steering towards another house. "If that wasn't enough, you accidentally delivered a boy a pair of his babysitter's panties."
"Accidentally?" Insomni tilted her head in confusion.
When the sleigh paused near another house, Hanako dropped the reins and turned to me.
"I need a break, do you wanna do this one?" She asked. "Just be quiet and hopefully you won't be arrested for trespassing."
"Nah, but I know who could. They'll even look the part," I reached into my pocket, fishing out a gray medal. I popped it into the Yo-kai Watch Dream and watched as the summon began.
"It's Heartful time!" The watch exclaimed. "Tempura roulette!" Whatever tempura is, again.
Hungramps appeared on the little stage, with a trail of drool on his chin. He rubbed his stomach before taking a few steps, holding out his hands like the dance he originally did while being summoned. The watch began to sing.
"Heart-ful, Heart-ful, Hearrrrt-ful, I wonder what's coming now, Heartful, Heartful!"
As the song ended, Hungramps reached out and grabbed whatever the food was, taking a bite. It must've been horrible, as his normally blank expression turned to one of pure disgust.
"It was ... barely fried, and practically raw ... that's horrible ..." Hungramps groaned in frustration as he appeared on the sleigh. He looked around, instantly understanding the situation. "Are we doing Christmas? What do I need to do, young man?" He asked. I reached for Hanako and took the Santa hat from her head, placing it on Hungramps's cone-shaped dome. "Oh, do I get to be Santa?"
"Actually, it's Hanako's year," I explained. I looked over at her, seeing she was drinking a can of Y-Cola. No idea where it came from. "She needs a rest, and I thought you'd like to do a house. You look a little like Santa." I smiled. Hungramps chuckled and rubbed his stomach.
"I suppose I do!" Hungramps agreed. "Allow me! It'd be my pleasure!"
With that, Hungramps took the present bag and phased through the window. Hanako finished her can of soda and kicked it from the sleigh. I leaned over the side and watched as it landed in a recycling bin. It shouldn't take long for Hungramps to return and then we can get moving again-hopefully, we'll be done soon so I can go back to sleep.
Five minutes passed. Ten minutes passed. There was no sign of him returning.
"You don't think ..." Insomni spoke up, looking back at me. I nodded.
Cookies and milk.
I couldn't go in after him, but Insomni agreed to try. She phased into the house for a moment before poking her head back out.
"He delivered the present, but he's not in the room," she said before going back inside. It didn't take her but a minute to return, dragging something with her out of the house's wall. Hungramps was in a deep sleep with a gingerbread man in his mouth and a milk mustache above his lips. "He's ... heavy!" Insomni groaned, pulling him into the sleigh. "He delivered the present and delivered himself to the kitchen!" She grabbed the Santa hat from his head and placed it back on Hanako. "Let's go already before I decide to drop him!"
Hours passed, with Hanako and the Koma brothers taking turns delivering gifts. Insomni almost got to deliver one, but when Hanako caught her sneaking into a family's daughter's room and examining the vibrator that the older girl had hidden inside her dresser, she was quick to yank my purple-boobed partner right back outside. I even brought one in myself after Komasan asked me to, with the little guy helping me through the dark house using his bright, flaming eyebrows. I just can't turn him down.
Eventually, we were finished. The sleigh landed on the ground in front of my apartment complex and all of us climbed out of the sleigh.
"I gotta get out of this suit," Hanako said before disappearing in a puff of purple smoke.
"Uh, I gotta be somewhere else that isn't here!" Insomni disappeared after her.
I looked down at Komasan and Komajiro. Komasan was dragging Hungramps out of the sleigh. I reached down and picked up the old man Yo-kai, holding him over my shoulder.
"Come on, guys, I'll walk you home," I said. The Koma brothers smiled at me as we started to trek through the heavy, thick snow. "I'll drop this guy off at the closest Everymart ..." I grunted as I carried Hungramps and the old man began to snore.
I had forgotten that Komasan and Komajiro live in a little shack at the end of town, or maybe they had just never told me. It feels like I've been in a deep sleep for at least a full year. I left Hungramps in the snack aisle of the Everymart near my place; it was warm inside and no one could see him anyway. I made sure he was resting comfortably on a pallet of soft chip bags before making my leave.
The entire evening was nothing compared to when I got back home.
I walked into the bedroom, expecting Hanako to be snacking on chips and Insomni to be catching up on television. Instead, I saw both girls laying on my bed, completely nude-save for red ribbon wrapped around their bodies. Red bows were placed between their legs (or where legs would be, in Insomni's case,) waiting for me to 'unwrap' them before presumably banging them for the rest of the night. I got a boner from just seeing them, ribbon or not.
Unfortunately, both were fast asleep in each others' arms. I'm guessing they planned to surprise me, which would've been great; it wasn't surprising that all of this work took its toll on them. I smiled and reached for my bed's blanket, slowly covering them both up. I leaned down and kissed them both on their foreheads before laying down on the floor, grabbing a throw pillow, and falling asleep myself.
Just as I was falling asleep, my eyes shot open. Something just occurred to me that I should've noticed hours ago: Sailornyan didn't deliver any presents. I saw her once as we left and then never again afterward; I was so distracted with the job that I didn't even notice her missing. She had even commented about ignoring her, and here I go, doing it again!
I knew I should get right up and look for her. It's not as if she could get lost in the snow or freeze; she's a spirit, after all. She couldn't get hurt like a normal animal could in this weather. It hadn't been the first time I hadn't seen her for days, come to think of it; she's wandered Springdale out of boredom in the past. She'd come home if she got too annoyed with the cold, provided she wasn't hanging out somewhere warm.
As I resumed trying to sleep, I thought of Hungramps sleeping on a pallet of chip bags and started to chuckle. It was really funny that the people inside of the store couldn't see him, even if there was only one customer besides me-some schoolgirl with pink hair that was browsing the magazines but looked like she was trying to avoid being seen. Probably looking at adult magazines.
I hope she got her fill.