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This one is different. The previous one shots in Things That Should Have Happened in Canon are things I believe could have plausibly happened in canon. This, however, I'll admit would never have happened as Petunia would never have been like this.

Petunia Dursley was alone in her house at Number Four Privet Drive. Vernon was at work at Grunnings, and Dudley and Harry had started Kindergarten that morning.

It was just past ten in the morning and Petunia was sitting on her sofa doing crossword puzzles when the telephone rang.

Petunia went to pick up the telephone and answered, "Petunia Dursley speaking."

"Yes, Mrs. Dursley, my name is Eton Educate. I am Dudley's teacher. May we speak?"

"But, of, course, " said Petunia politely.

"There have been incidents with Dudley this morning, " said the voice of Professor Educate seriously.

"Has something happened to my Dudders?!" asked Petunia in a suddenly panicked and hysterical voice.

"Oh, he hasn't gotten hurt, " said Professor Educate briskly, "But, we have had some issues with his behavior."

"Well, " said Petunia defensively, "He's a boisterous little boy but he wouldn't hurt a cockroach!"

"That's not what his behavior so far today has led us to believe, " said Professor Educate bluntly.

"So, what's up with Dudley's behavior?" asked Petunia seriously.

"He's been bullying the other kids in class, " said Professor Educate in a no nonsense voice.

"How?" asked Petunia urgently.

"Before class even started, " explained Professor Educate, "Dudley asked a girl to give him all her lunch money. When the girl refused to do so, Dudley threatened to beat the girl up and make her "black and blue" and make her "see stars" if she didn't give him her lunch money. When the girl still refused, Dudley punched her in the nose as hard and directly as he could, breaking her nose and bloodying her face."

"Oh, my!" gasped Petunia.

"That's not all, " continued Professor Educate, "During this morning's session for classmates to introduce themselves to each other, Dudley was calling his classmates mean names. He called one boy fat, one girl stupid, and another boy that offensive four letter word that begins with u and ends with y."

"This sounds serious, " said Petunia, her heart sinking to her feet.

"It is, " confirmed Professor Educate, "And at recess, Dudley punched his own cousin in the face, breaking his glasses."

"What now?" wondered Petunia.

"Dudley has been isolated for the day, " explained Professor Educate, "When he gets home, I want you to have a stern talk with Dudley about bullying. "

"I will have that talk with Dudley during dinner this evening," promised Petunia.

"Good, " said Professor Educate clearly, "Bear in mind that if Dudley's behavior does not improve, he may face suspension from this school."

"I understand, " said Petunia clearly.

"I'll let you go then, " said Professor Educate and he hung up.

...

As Vernon, Petunia, Harry, and Dudley sat down to a meal of spaghetti with meatballs and tomato sauce mixed in, garlic breadsticks on the side, and Jim Beam to wash it down with, Petunia addressed Dudley in a very serious voice.

"Dudley, " said Petunia, looking her son eye to eye.

"Yes, mom, " answered Dudley.

"I received a telephone call from Professor Educate this morning. He claimed you bullied other students."

Dudley said nothing.

Petunia now turned to Harry and asked sharply, "Did Dudley bully other kids today?"

"Yes, " admitted Harry, "Before class even started, he threatened a girl in our class and when the girl refused to give him her lunch money, he punched her on the nose, breaking her nose and bloodying her face. During our meet and greet, he called our classmates names such as fat, stupid, and the u word. And at recess, he punched me in the face and broke my glasses."

"This story is consistent with what Professor Educate told me on the telephone, " said Petunia firmly, "Dudley, do you deny bullying?"

"No, I don't, " said Dudley meanly, "I'm going to bully those assholes and bitches and put them in their place and assert my status."

"No, you're not, " said Petunia in a steely voice, "Firstly, you risk suspension from school if this behavior continues. Professor Educate told me that himself."

"I'll just have to not get caught then," said Dudley defiantly

"It's inevitable you eventually will, " Harry warned Dudley.

"Exactly, Harry, exactly, " said Petunia seriously.

"It's not good for our family's reputation to have a bully in the family, " piped up Vernon.

"That's not the issue, Vernon, " said Petunia sharply, "The issue is what kind of person Dudley is going to grow up to be, how others are affected by his behavior, and his character."

"How are you going to correct Dudley's behavior?" Harry asked Petunia.

"Simple, " said Petunia clearly, "Dudley will either treat people the right way or be punished for his bullying."

Petunia looked her son in the eyes and gave him an ultimatum.

"Dudley, if I receive another call from school about your bullying other kids, or should I receive any notes home from school saying you have been bullying, you will be suspended from watching any TV or playing any computer or video games for a month. Furthermore, should there be a future incident where your bullying leads to the damage or destruction of another person's property, be it his or her glasses or whatever, we will suspend your allowance and use that money to pay to replace such property, " Petunia made clear.

Dudley, realizing his mom was serious, said "Yes, mom, " in a defeated voice.

"Instead of acting defeated, " Petunia told Dudley, "Put yourself in your victims' shoes. Ask yourself how you would feel if you were threatened, punched in the face, or called mean names."

Dudley was forced in this moment to sit and put the shoe on the other foot, to think about how he would feel if he had been on the receiving end of the bullying rather than the giving end.

"Your right, mom, " said Dudley finally.

"Ultimately, it shouldn't be that hard to be nice to people, " said Petunia clearly, "Part of my job as a parent is to nip bad behavior in the bud early when I know it exists. As you are only five, your development is in the early stages and my attentiveness as a parent is paramount."

"Any other thoughts, mom?" asked Dudley.

"Instead of being a bully, try to make friends instead, " suggested Petunia, "It's still well early enough in the school year for you to make some very good friends but the opportunity to make and keep friends is dependent on you treating people the right way. Focus on trying to make some good friends."

"I will, mom," promised Dudley.

And with that, Vernon, Petunia, Harry, and Dudley finished their dinner in peace.

A/N: In Goblet of Fire, it is stated that Dudley's report card from Smeltings includes mentions of bullying. As we know that Dudley did plenty of bullying in elementary school, I do wonder if Dudley's elementary school ever contacted his parents about his behavior. If not, it should have.