--------------------------------------------
Chapter 2: La verità, sempre non li regola liberi (Truth, doesn't always set you free)
Jordan woke up in the middle of the night feeling sicker than ever….Now she was not only with nauseas…she also has won a headache and a neck pain.
"All that just because I fell asleep in the wrong position…Oh Hell"….all she could think about was the nausea rise in her body, she ran to the bathroom…and stayed there for several hours.
"And I still have at least like 3 more months of this…and then hormones!" she thought sarcastically…"Okay I think I'm done with this" she said to herself…but she couldn't stand up…probably throwing up everything let her weaker….actually she was a little dizzy…"Great! On this cold floor I'M sure I could catch the flu….damn!...What?" she swore then she heard someone knocking at her door…"Must be my imagination" she thought…Wrong…they were knocking again only this time stronger…"Who could that be?" Jordan though intrigued…well...she really needed some help right now….she was just about to scream the door wasn't blocked…when…
"Jordan?" A voice called…It was Woody
"Damn!"….Why does it have to be him?"…Jordan thought… "I think I let the things really clears today…"
"Jordan are you there?" Woody asks
"No, hell I'm not" she thought…"just go away…Oh God"…she started to feel sick again…and throw up again…
Woody was locked to the door…to hear if…Ah! She was there!….and for the sounds she really wasn't okay…"Jordan let me in, I know the you are in there…open the door!"
"Sure I can!" Jordan yelled….feeling her body shakes for the nauseas and the angry…
"I would open then …I'm so sorry for your door!"
"No" another round of sickness …"Is not locked!"
He finally managed to get in the apartment and not broke the door…"Jordan …Where are you?" he asks not see her anywhere
"In the bathroom" was the weaker answer…
"What are you doing…Oh God…" was all what Woody could say…when he saw Jordan on the floor and almost using the toilet as an anchor…
"I knew it…I shouldn't let you the Nigel brings you back…" he say taking away her from the floor in his arms….and gently putting her in bed…
"Thanks"….that was all what Jordan could say after to fall into the pillows
"I'm calling you a Doctor" he said taking the phone
"No!" she screaming…and trying to take it away the phone from him. She failed
"Why not?" he said annoying, she can't really see the she needs one or what…
"Oh well…is not really a big deal"
"Really? I found you in the floor ….and you can't even stand up…and is not a big deal?...you disappointed me as a Doctor"
"Damn!" she thought…"found an excuse …and soon!"
"So…why not?" Woody asks still keeping the phone safe in his hand
"Uh?"…
"I'm mean if you give one very good reason I wouldn't call the Doctor" he offered
"Because is just the effect f the medicine"…She said "Got you" she thought
"Nah" Woody said after look into to her eyes "Nice try Jordan, I could it believe if you weren't lying me"
"Give me that!" Jordan tries to grab the phone…
"Ah!" he stopped her with a finger a send her back to the pillows "See how weak you are?"
Twenty
minutes later, Jordan was with the Doctor…and shaking over all her
body…
"You really are
ill miss" the Doctor said.
"How
bad she is?" Woody asks worried.
"Let
see her blood and temperature," the Doctor said starting to prepare
his equipment
"You
don't have to be here you know," Jordan said sarcastically to
Woody
"Ah…yeah right
…I'll wait in the kitchen." He left the room. He knew the she
was still was angry at him for what happened in the murder scene, and
he also knew she had every right to be…
"Okay
Miss, where does it hurt? Stomach or something else?" the Doctor
asked Jordan..
"Well….actually
I have nausea that all" she said seriously
"Nausea?"
the Doctor raised an eyebrow. "Women use that word only to describe
one kind of sickness." He paused and waited for her to speak.
"I
know," Jordan said in a low voice. "Because I know what is wrong
with me….well not wrong...Just nature?" she said with a grin
"You are pregnant,
right?" the Doctor said smiling
"Yeah
I have 3 months and half," she said
"Well
Mommy…what you eat the make you feel so bad?"
"I
dunno…I'm following the diet the my doctor gives me."
"Hmm…nausea are
naturals …but not that strong…mm…is a little inflamed here…you
bleeding?
"No…"
Jordan felt a huge panic rise up inside her. "Something is wrong
with the baby?"
"I
can't tell you right now…you need some tests to know that…when
is your next appointment?"
"2
weeks"
"You can't
wait….you need to go tomorrow…and I might think you need to see a
specialist"
"Why?"
"Just in case…here
this is Doctor James Winters…he is the best in the field …I would
call him…to tell him the you would go, probably his secretary
called to confirm…and here this pills would help you."
"Thanks."
"What about the boy?"
"Woody…..yeah …you
can invent something?" Jordan pleads
"No
problem"….the doctor say smiling a letting Jordan in the room
"So, what wrong with
her?" Woody asks
"Just
a little inflammation in the colon," he said, much to Jordan's
horror.
"Oh…and she
is going to be okay?" Woody asked, looking from the doctor to
Jordan.
"Yeah …nothing
the a pills and a good sleeping night can't hand it"
"So
after all it wasn't a big deal"
"Not
really."
"I let you
in the door Doctor"
"Goodnight."
"Goodnight."
"He
is going too Doctor….isn't Woody?"
"Well
good night miss take care of…yourself."
"I
will," she said, shutting the door.
"Sorry
son."
"No, she has
all the right in the world."
----------------------------------------
Jordan
woke up the next morning feeling a lot better, so she prepared her
self to have a full day. She needed to go to the travel agency and
the Doctor.
She took a
light breakfast and watches her machine message…3….she press the
button and hear…"Hey, love….I hope you are feeling
better…take care." Nigel message… "Message number
two: Miss Cavanaugh I'm Beatrice, the secretary of Doctor
Winters, can you confirmed your appointment for next Tuesday 1P.M,
good morning."….Jordan take notes of this one…."Message
number 3: Hey….I hope the you feeling better…I want to
apology for been so tough yesterday…but you looked awful…Ahh…well
I guess the I see you in work…take care…" Woody one's.
"If
I have tickets in this dance…you wouldn't see me again"…Jordan
says…taking the phone to confirm the Doctor's appointment and to
making a second calls.
"Macy."
"Hey Garret," she
said.
"Jordan! How are
you feeling?"
"A
little better…but the Doctor say I have to stay in home until
Friday"
"You are
abusing of my kindness….I'm going to make you pay for this
Jordan"
"Sure boss…so
I got the permission?"
"Yeah
just take care of yourself. good"
'Thanks'
Garret…Bye' she sigh in relief but with sadness…too….she was
lying to everyone ….maybe they would never forget her….she picked
the phone up to make one last call.
"Hello"
a male voice responded
"Mr.
Robert? I'm Jordan Cavanaugh, I called you .."
"I
know who you are...Jordan …what's up?"
"I
need the favor….I need to be dropped off the face of the earth,"
she began, waiting for a reply.
"That's
gonna be tricky, but not impossible. When?"
"Friday
at 12:30 AM."
"4
days?...No way ..I need a least a week" Robert argue
"Can't…I
have to let this country …now" Jordan said with urgency.
"Why?
Are you going to jail?" he teased
'"No
….just …can you do the job?" Jordan asked tersely.
"Oh…well….I
going to need more money then…" Robert said.
"How
much?" Jordan hears what he wants. "Done" she said
"Okay...by
Friday at 12: 45 AM …not even a GPS could found you"
"Thanks'"
and she push the phone back onto the hook, mind churning with the
ramifications of what she was about to do. "Well I guess the since
the I can't go to the Doctor I make all the arrangements with the
travel agency and the properties manager…to sold this place….and
all that is inside…"
-------------------------------------------------------
(Tuesday)
Jordan
was in the waiting room reading a magazine and waiting for the nurse
to call her. All the woman's there looks so pregnant, all with
bellies - a reality of what she had in store. With 3 months...she
looked a little fat…like she was eating too much
but
not pregnant….and thank God for that….because Woody would have
noticed immediately last night…
Last
night, it was been dropped in the zero zone, a dream of what it would
be if he were by her side, taking her, see the nothing was wrong,
always worrying about the baby and her health….but no….. "This
is reality". Jordan thought…"my self and you" she
looks in to her little belly with a love - a love that only mothers
can feel.
Jordan focus
his attention in the magazine again….reading a couple of funny
things about baby's…and some advices for new mothers….until…the
someone come out from one of the offices….it was Lu.
Jordan
felt a rush of panic. "Why between all the hospitals, she has to
uses the same her new Doctor has!"… "Oh My God"….The
door was too far for her to make a run for it, the elevator was
down…run for that stairs was an option too...but….damn...she is
turning up here….Jordan do the only thing she could think of –
she covered her face with the magazine and hoped that Lu wouldn't
stay too long…
"So
Miss Simmons….How you evaluation go?" The secretary asks to Lu
"Great….well I need
to take more of my self now…since the I'm going to married…and
certainly my future husband want a family…so…I need to control my
self." she said smiling
Jordan
bit her lip, trying the control the tears were running from his
cheeks… "A family…something my baby would never have"
Jordan thought….a wave of jealousy invaded her…she want to make
that woman disappears….so in that way that there were not
obstacle's for…" Why I'm thinking in this!" Jordan
thought
"Okay…all the
papers are right Miss Simmons….when I put your next visit?" the
secretary asks…
"Oh…next
month?" Lu replies
"Sure
the next 24…have a nice day Miss"
"Thanks"
….Lu said and walk to the exist
Jordan
breathes in relief….her secret was safe…..but …
"Miss
Cavanaugh" the nurse calls her
"Damn"…Jordan
whisper…looking to see if Lu was there…no….she was gone…
thank god.
"Miss Jordan
Cavanaugh?" the nurse calls again
"Right
here"…
"The Doctor
Winters is waiting you" the nurse said….and open the door office
for Jordan…"The Doctor would come in a minute"
"Thanks'…"
Jordan says….looking around of the office… Thank god, she thought
again. Lucky!
Not such
luck…she was completely unaware that Lu had seen the entire scene,
when she returns to finds something the she forgot.
-------------------------------------------------------
"Every seems to be
fine with the baby…except for this inflammation..." The Doctor
says
"So what is wrong
then?" Jordan asks worried
"Too
soon to tell…but…If I bet my money…I'm a getting concerned
about the placenta. If things keep evolutions like this you probably
are going into "premature labor" or "hemorrhage"
to death." He said gravely
"WHAT!"
Jordan swallowed hard….
"Is
not unusual in women of your age…most of their pregnancies are high
risky…for the mother and the baby…just must know as a Doctor"…he
said
"Yeah…but they
can have healthy pregnancy as well…" Jordan refuses to believe
what she was hearing
"I
know…but I'm so sorry to say this is not your case" he replies
"What I have to do?"
Jordan asks …stand up
"For
now…I'm giving to you and special diet, medication…and you must
to reduce your works hours…" He says starting to write the
prescription
"How about
travels? Jordan's teased
"How
long?" still writing the Doctor asks
"Let
say… I'm moving of house" she replies
The
Doctor raises his head and looking deep into her eyes "To another
country?" he asks
"Yeah"
she nods.
"When?" he
asks …a little concern
"Next
Friday top" Jordan answered
"Well
Miss"…he sighs..."still is not that dangerous but…I would
travel in first classe if I were you…where are you going?" he
asked with interest.
"Far…not
even in this continent." Jordan says
"Ah…I
see…is a secret" he said smiling…."Here I added more
medications so you can save it for the trip…you have a medic to
what ever you go?" He asks
"Yeah
I make some calls" Jordan tell him
"Then
your medical records is the most important thing and this…my exams"
He pass to Jordan all the papers
"Thanks
so much for everything" Jordan say shacking the Doctor hand.
"You
welcome" He said…"Now just focus your attention in your healthy
and the safe of the baby," he pointed to her little tummy.
"I
Will" Jordan said, smiled and left the room.
-----------------------------------
"So what you want for dinner…hun?" Lu asked to Woody who was sitting on the couch
"What ever you want" He said abstracted
"Oh come on! That not helps!"….Lu yelled low "There are a thousand of restaurants here!"
"Chinese?"…Woody said…just to say something
"Funny!" Lu said getting mad "Greek?"…she asks
"There's a first time for everything" Woody said with a grin
"Okay ...Greek it is" Lu says picking the phone. Ten minutes later she was yelled "Woody the deliver guy is here!"…
"I'll get it!" Woody says opening the door to attend the deliver guy
"These smells just great…see? Greek is so good" Lu said with a grin.
"Until now smell good"…he said not 100 convinced
"Stubborn man…" Lu said chuckling…as she put the food on the table
"So how was your appointment today?"…Woody asked
"Uh?" Lu said making him wait a movement to him..."Fine…everything is good…the Doctor say I'm perfect. Isn't great?"…She said smiling
"Yeah…it is"…Woody said
"But you know something" she said thinking seriously…."I found saw I never imagined I would to see there"
"Really?" Woody asked still distracted
"Yeah….I saw Jordan" Lu said unfocused as well
"WHAT?" Woody yelled extremely surprised
"Yeah" Lu looks to Woody "Is not weird hunny…after all she is a woman…all the women's goes to see the gynecologist at one time or another" she said telling him like he would little kid.
"Oh yeah….I forgot" Woody said calming
"But there was still something weird about it" she meditated for a while, then she sigh her frustration…"I can't remember right now what it is…well sure wasn't important"
"Why…did she have a belly?" Woody teased with a grin but inside he wasn't teasing at all.
"No…she…comes on!" pauses thinking…"AH!...that's it….she was going to see Doctor Winters….and as far as I know he is an specialist" Lu pointed out
"Are you sure?" Woody was getting worried…maybe it was more just an inflammation.
"Yeah…must of pregnant women who have complicated births go to him…and…" she picked her cell" Mom? …Calm down …What?...the bouquets …Mom already told you I want tulips…" she starts arguing with her Mother.
Woody froze…pregnancy?…soon everything was clear….the running, the sickness, the cold, the black under her eyes…the nauseas…..the nauseas for God…..Jordan was pregnant…and he can bet the he was the father…And what he could do now?…how could he leave the apartment if Lu was there …talking about the wedding….the wedding for Christ sake!…."Shit" he though, then said to Lu "Ah Lu…I need to buy some medicine…my head hurts…all be right back" he said taking his jacket and leaving the apartment as quickly as he could.
"Sure" Lu said too concentrated on the call…to think it was weird…it was nearly 11: 20 PM. Woody ran for down the street calling Jordan house with his cell.
"Come on Jordan picks the damn phone!" he yelled
"This number as been disconnected….please…" a computerized voice said….
"Disconnected?"…Woody swallows hard…that could only mean one thing…Jordan was going to run….
------------------------------------------------
Jordan was finishing up picking everything that she wanted to take with her. The boxes were done - everything she wanted to sell was in one area and everything she wanted to keep in another…
The apartment looks lonely. So quiet and sad - just like her feelings right now. She's leaving everyone and everything she loves with nothing… Only her past as her all encompassing memory….
She walked over the kitchen table and closed the letter she was writing…to Garret. She didn't explain why she was running she just went right to the facts and begged that one day he could forget her. Maybe then he would understand.
Taking the pen again she reached to write a second letter - a difficult one …a painful one. A letter to Woody. She wrote what her heart was feeling and what she thought he would like to know. Writing that letter was a painful experience. Her soul ached with every line…her heart broke with every new word.
A knock distracted Jordan…it was almost 11:30 PM….almost Friday…
"Airport Service…" a voice said behind the door.
"Sure just a sec…" Jordan scream …finish the letter and washing her tears away…
"Good night ma'am"…the guy greeted with a smile, "These are the boxes?" he asked pointing to the group behind Jordan.
"Yeah all this" Jordan said ding
"Okay let me get these in the mini-van and we'll go to the airport" he starts to pick the boxes.
Jordan looked over her apartment one last time and looked over Boston. A city the she would never see again - for at least 10 years…
"Goodbye. Goodbye everyone" she whispers and feeling he heart break a little more…Her heart broke because she was leaving not only her home but also his heart. In his heart, and hers, there were hidden her dreams…her dreams of love, happiness and hope.
------------------------------
Woody runs in to Pearl Street….he don't stop to think about Lu….he just to need to stop Jordan….
He make
the trip in record time…and now he was standing at the red door…he
knocks one, two, three times…nothing….the fear in his heart
growing…"It can't be late." he whisper for himself…"please…it
can't be…it - " Suddenly the door opened and what he saw made
him want to die. Nothing. Nothing was in there. No paintings, no
bed…no Jordan.
"No,
no! Damn it Jordan! Why!" He yelled desperately
"Sir?"
a voice asks from behind him.
"Who
are you?" Woody asked, turning around.
"I'm
here to finish cleaning this up place, sir, as Ms. Cavanaugh
instructed…" he sayed pointing to the removal from place to place
icon in his shirt.
"Where
is she?" Woody asked, freaking out again. Maybe…
"At
this time?" the guy looked at his watch "It's 12:30. She's
probably catching her flight"
"Flight!
To where?" That was his complete undoing.
"I
don't know, sir. I just know she was leaving. She broke her lease
and sold her things…Sir?" the guy said getting worried about
Woody.
"Oh My God!"
was all Woody could say before he ran again to the only place he
would still have a chance to catch her.
-----------------------------------
"Nigel!"
"Hey
Woodrow calm down," Nigel was slightly afraid – the detective was
unusually antsy.
"Jordan…she's
running …she's leaving, Nigel!...we need to stop her!"
Woody yelled terrified and out of breath.
"Sweet
Mary…Why?" Nigel was in shock now, as well
"I
don't know," Woody lied
"What
is all this noise?" Garret asked from behind with Bugs
"Jordan's
running Doctor M!" Nigel was screaming this time.
"Shit!"
Bug said.
"We need to
stop her…we need to go to the…" Nigel stars
Woody
interrupted sadly, "The guy said the she was already catching the
flight."
"We need to
find out where she's going," Garret commanded, "What is she
doing!"
Woody was
crazy, pacing back and forth. All this waiting was killing him. He
needed to know.
"Damn!"
Nigel exclaimed
"What?"
Garret asks
"Something
is blocking me," Nigel replied, confused
"How?"
Woody couldn't believe it. If Nigel can't…
"It's
like she doesn't want to be…" Bug started
"Found…"
Garret finishes the sentence "Jordan did this on purpose"
"She
blocked us. Oh damn!" Nigel says desolately.
"Try
something else," Garret suggested
"I
can't. I've tried everything….I'm sorry…" Nigel couldn't
believe it either.
"Garret?"
Lily asked, entering in the room
"What!
Garret yelled, startling Lily and everyone else.
"There
is a man with a letter for you…." She trailed off, "What's
wrong …your faces. What wrong!"
"Jordan
ran," Nigel told her sadly
"Why?"
Lily was astonished.
"Let's
see that letter." Garret said dejectedly. Five minutes later the
group was even sadder. "She ran…she doesn't say where or why,
just that she did. God damn it Jordan!"
-------------------------------------
Woody returned to his
apartment….to do what? It was nearly 3 AM. Nigel was going to keep
trying to find Jordan but nothing was working. It was as if she
dropped off the face of the planet.
"I
have a letter for you Detective Hoyt" the guy in the lobby said
"When?" Woody asks,
quickly taking the letter
"About
2 hours ago" was the reply.
"The
same time Doctor Macy received his" he whispered to himself.
Woody
walked back out of his building. He just walked all the night until
the sun began to rise. Then he noticed where he was. The same place
they used to run. His cold fingers began to open the letter…..
My dearest Woody:
When you read this I would probably far away…so don't waste your energy in trying to find me…you wouldn't be able to …trust me, I know how to "erase" my foot steps.
Maybe I don't have the right to do this and you certainly are going to hate me forever for what I done. I've done something I shouldn't but I have to…for my sake and yours….I'm sure you think I'm crazy but I'm no, you deserve to be happy and deserve better than me. Much better. You deserve someone the can be there for you every time you needed and not someone the just appears when she is in trouble or jealous…
I know you are happy now and I don't want to take that from you but I should at least tell you why I left.
The reason is….because… this seems just as hard as telling you in person… I left because…I'm pregnant Woody. I'm pregnant with your baby…
You don't believe me?...Well…got some news for you then…we didn't use anything that night…and the pills are only 90 effectives…I guess the I'm part of the 10 who have bad luck, well is not bad luck after all…
They say that love is like an Earthquake. It starts with passion and chaos but then when everything calms down you have to decide if the roots are so deeply embedded inside the earth if would be impossible for them to be separated… Well that's not the case with us because when the storms passed….it was cold and just one night to remember… nothing more… nothing less.
I don't want you to renounce to your life with Lu… for one night. That would be unfair to you and her. You deserve to be happy and I don't want to impede you with a woman you don't love, with a kid you don't want…
So move on… just like I did. I release you for all your obligations with this baby. I'm not going to push for child support or anything and I'm going to make the things easier…no awkward moments, no trails or weekends with me and you…
But I think that now everything is behind us I shouldn't lie to you anymore. Like I didn't lie the day you had been shot. I spoke the truth. I do love you - always have and always will…but I guess the we weren't meet to be…right?... Because… the things never work out between us…You always wanted more and I was a coward, I know. But you didn't help me…I opened my heart to you and you broke it like I was afraid you would. It was true…you could hurt me… and you did.
I knew it wasn't safe be in love… and I broke my promise to not fall in love again… but…I think for once it was nice to know how it feels when someone means everything to you. How it feels when you know that your life wont be the same without him, when his happiness is more important that your own.
So…even though I can't see you walk to the altar to marry her I still want you to be happy. So please forget everything about us and focus on your future. Focus on the future…and make it a good one… for you and Lu… and for anything that comes next. Promise me that… okay?
So this is Goodbye…a goodbye forever…
You mean more to me the any man I have ever known. I guess that wasn't good enough …I never was good enough… I don't blame you; I know…I'm complicated but…
Just when…When you did choose you couldn't hold me a little tighter? When did you decide that you were a rebound guy? And when…when you stop to loving me? I guess I'll never know now.
My farm boy, my partner, my co-worker, my friend….and my lover. Goodbye, Woods. I hope you can forgive me one day. I hope that maybe you still feel something for me. All I can do is hope.
Jordan
Woody crumples up the letter in his hands. What else you can do…when your heart is broken into a thousand pieces in just one second? Nothing…, nothing except...scream for inside, bury all the tears, raise your head, and deal with life …a death in life.