This chap
became a pain in the ass for me ...but finally is here!
Okay
I dunno if is as good like the others and probably you are going to
hate me!...hides
Thanks to Kate, Aly and Stephmuah...and Carol of course who is my co-writting
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Chapter 5: Una di queste notti (One of these Nights)
The night was slow and painful. A long, low and sad night. That kind of night you wish to be able to erase from your mind and memories. Those long nights, when you remember every mistake, every word you didn't speak, every single thing you did to hurt someone else. And all the things you should've said but never did. All the things we should've done, that we never did. All the things we should've given, but we didn't. And you pray that some how someone or something can give you these moments back, give them back to us.
Every one of those regrets wasn't haunting his painful memories anymore. Because of soft and tiny body, curled in his arms was giving him some kind of ...relief. Her soft perfume, in some ways calming his soul, the was full of promises the we never make. And beside she reminds him so much of Jordan - the color of her hair, the curl's she would have when her hair got longer, the shape of her face - she was surrounded by Jordan's presence. Sure Jordan adored Caterina, he could bet the she was a terrific mother...was? no still is "Because mommy is no death princess" he whisper softly to his daughter while trying to believe the words himself. As the time past there still wasn't any news about Jordan and his hope were faded more and more. All the victims were just recovered bodies. No one alive was left alive. He could see the dark faces of the hospital personal. He could hear the screams even though he was on another floor. They knew with each passing hour the probability to found someone alive became less and less. They knew it the conforming the hours were passing, the probability to found someone alive …was more and more distant.
"I
should have hope but I can't stop thinking," he said to himself in
a whisper looking down again to his small daughter, "No I have
to do it for her" Woody placed a soft kiss on the baby's cheek.
Caterina snuggled a little into her father then opened her eyes.
Woody was still amazed when he saw those eyes. They eyes that were
exactly like his own.
"Hey,
princess" He said smiling but in response Caterina started to cry.
Loudly. "Oh …calm down sweetie. Everything is fine" he tried to
calm Caterina to no avail, "Oh What I do?" he asked out loud,
gently rocking his daughter, wanted to cry in desperation too.
"She
must be hungry" Antonia appeared in the doorway again, smiling.
"What?" Woody
questioned, looking up.
"It's
been about five hours since the last time she ate. Come here, little
one," Antonia said trying to take Caterina from Woody's arms.
Woody kept his daughter firmly in his arms. "Can I?" he asked.
"Ah?" Antonia gives
him a puzzle look, "Ah Sorry! I forgot! Sure, wait for me here.
I'll be back with the formula" She said and disappeared for minute.
When she returned she was carrying a bottle.
"Here
Dad, you daughter needs to eat," She smiled passing the bottle to
Woody. He looks to her saying with his eyes "What do I.." Antonia
caught his gaze.
"You've
never feed your baby, before?" she smiling again "Watch how I do
it, Dad" She took Caterina in her arms gentling putting her little
head in the right position. The baby just did the rest, happily
sucking on the bottle "See? She knows what she has to do. Here,"
She put Caterina back in Woody's arms, "Call me when she finish"
Woody looked amused at
how Caterina was eating her food but then again he noticed how much
she needed her mother. How much she needed to be in her little bed,
in her house. House. Woody realized he couldn't stay in a Hotel
anymore - not with Caterina. He needed to find a place. But for that
he would have to have certain arrangements and they couldn't be made
by phone. That one would have to be done in person. Face to face.
"Nurse?
.uhh...Antonia?" he called
"Yes?"
Antonia appeared from in the doorway
"I
have a couple of questions…what do I need to take Cate with me?"
"Uhh….well do you
have any papers justify you are his father?" Woody shocks his head
"Oh, then I think the you can't take her from the hospital ,you
would need a blood test or someone can testify the you are the father
and also, it would be great if the mother recognize you as well"
She finishes
Woody
swallowed hard. He needs to do a lot of things. First to all call
Paul. Then found a good lawyer." Antonia did you know any lawyer?"
She nods.
"Actually my
fiancé can do it, if you want" Antonia says
"Can
you make the arraignments?" Woody replies
"Sure
…I would call him and….Bianca?" Antonia asks to the woman who
was walking faster to them.
"Antonia,
perchè ha Caterina?" Bianca said
"È
il padre, lei è il suo proprio bambino, lui ha tutta la destra
in mondo del thid"
"Ma
la sua madre non desidera questa!" Bianca yelled
"Pozzo
non è ora qui ed, è l'unica cosa lei ha ottenuto in
questo mondo!"
"Excuse
me…There is the problem? Woody says looking to the angry faces of
both women's
"She is
Bianca, your daughter nurse and neighbor. She knows Jordan pretty
well" Antonia say annoyed
"Oh!...Do
you know when Jor is?" Woody say quickly…maybe she..
"No…I
don't know…sorry…I just found the Caterina was here…."
Bianca say a little confused
"Then
why you make such a mess?" Antonia say angry
"Is
just the…well Jordan never talks about…" Bianca stammered
"I
know" Woody say softly ..."I understand….probably Jordan only
said the she hates me" he smile sadly
"No…I
never heard one word like that coming for her lips" Bianca smile to
Woody "I'm sorry…Is Just this situation overbold me….I'm
Bianca, I'm her daughter legal guardian." She extended a hand to
Woody
"I see…"
Woody said afraid...because this woman has all the power to take
Caterina to whatever she wants.
"You
can come with me" Bianca say catching Woody's alarm…."to
Jordan's apartment, Caterina would be better there"
"Sure"
Woody says, he knows the he need to take Cate to other place.
"I
give you my fiancé name and number" Antonia say passing a
card to Woody "Call him in the morning. Now go home, take a rest
and back with al the energy's to found her" she smile.
"Thanks'
you Antonia, for all this …really I'm" Woody replies taking the
woman hand.
"You
welcome" she smile again
"Can
you give just a couple of seconds?" he says turning to Bianca "I
need to make a call"
"Sure,
I get ready Caterina"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Hello?
...Woody? Oh my God, Woody...did you?" Garret swallows hard.
"Nothing yet,"
Woody tells him, "I'm just calling to say that I have Caterina
here... my daughter. She is fine, sleeping now. I'm going to send you
a couple pictures tomorrow."
"Jordan?"
Garret asks again.
"I
need your help Doctor Macy," Woody says softly, waiting for a angry
answer.
"Whatever you
need son" Garret replies firmly "Right now I don't care how
this happened, I just want Jordan safe"
"I
need to coordinate a search here, I need all that can be useful, so
then we can find Jordan" Woody starts
"I'll
send Nigel to work right away" Garret says
"Doctor
Macy, uhhh You, well…Lu" Woody stammers
"Yeah
she was here" Garret say a little bit annoyed
"Oh"
Woody breathe, he didn't want that.
"She
yelled at us, saying we are just a confabulation family of deaths and
the only thing we want is to screw up your life together" Garret
says frustrated, "She is a child, a jealous woman, angry, hurt,
pissed. Period. I can understand"
"I
should had ended this a long time ago" Woody said in a low tone
"Yeah you should've…"
Garret says harshly.
"But
I didn't" Woody replies "So I have to deal with the
consequences."
"Woody"
Garret voice holds a warning.
What
do I do?" Woody starts to sound anxious "I have not right over my
daughter. I exchanged her and her mother for"….Woody voice faded,
"Security". Not love, not passion. Not happily ever
after."
"Woody…"
"No! It's true!"
Woody yelled "What if...what am I going to tell her…..How…"
"Then don't" Garret
voice commanded, "Find Jordan and bring her back. And for now take
care of your daughter."
"But
I don't know how."
"You
will learn. No parent knows everything at the beginning. It's a
timing process - long and not always successful but full of happiness
and rewards" Garret tells him trying to give him some comfort.
"Yeah she is the most
precious gift ever," Woody says looking to the little figure in her
bassinet.
"So then take
care of that blessing. We'll be in touch," Garret replies.
"Thanks
Doc" Woody turned the phone off.
"And?"
Lily asks anxious.
"Nothing
on Jordan yet" Garret said sadly
"The
baby?" she asks worried
"Fine.
Caterina is with him now."
"There
is but there…" Lily pointed
"He
really doesn't know what to do. A single Dad, missing Mom and all
the guilt that he can carry on his shoulders" Garret said
dejectedly.
"I must
have been so tough on Woody" Lily said looking threw the window.
"Well he knows that he
has a lot of responsibility in this mess" Garret replies distracted
too.
"Yeah but" Lily
says turning to Garret …"the price is higher than what ever he is
waiting for"
-------------------------------------------------------------------
"Here we
are, that is my place and this one is….well you know" Bianca said
quietly.
"Jordan
place," He replies softly.
"Okay
let's in!" Bianca replies, trying to be optimistic. She opens the
door and immediately Woody thought that she maybe wrong. "This
can't be Jordan place" He thought
There
were soft colors everywhere. Everything was neat and in place.
Paintings were on the walls. Photographs of Lily, Nigel, Bug and
Garret graced a desk. He wasn't a single one of them. That hurt. It
hurt that she didn't even want to remember him. He tries to avoid
that turning his attention to the kitchen. Again, everything was
fixed up with flowers - purple tulips.
"Why
don't you put Caterina in her room?" Bianca suggests, "I'll
prepare something to eat and her formula."
"Sure,"
Woody says taking the bassinet, Caterina was sleeping in. He opens
the door of the room. Only one room, but a very large one. Woody was
surprised again. Jordan's room was always a mess and she had to have
bright colors. But this room was white with soft colors. Actually the
room looked like it was out of a magazine
And
it was full of girly stuff. Clothes for the baby, toys, flowers.
Jordan was completely devoted to her baby. That made him feel even
worse. She does it all alone and she did great. She didn't need him.
Not now, not ever. If it wasn't for the accident he would never have
met his daughter. Ever.
"Did
you need help?" Bianca asks entering the room.
"Did
she...?" Woody pointed at the room.
"Huh?"
Bianca inquires, "Oh yes! She did all of this herself. It's
pretty isn't it?" Bianca smiles, "Jordan passed the last
four months doing all this. Well she was on bed rest so she had to
find something to occupy her time."
"Four
months," Woody thinks, "And I wasn't there to help"
"Well Jordan wanted
pretty stuff for her daughter," Bianca continued. "So she made it
…see the crib?" she pointed "She made all the sheets and
decorations. She was so proud of herself."
"Sure
she was." Woody said softy "Jordan didn't need me if she
could do all this by herself. I never thought the she can be like
this…I'm so damn stupid. Great job Hoyt, you lack all this."
"Which one you prefer?"
Bianca said interrupting his thought
"About?"
Woody said confusing
"This.
Purple or Blue?" she show him two pj's.
"Purple?"
Woody answered.
"Okay,
you want to change her Dad?" Bianca smile
"Thanks."
"For what?" Bianca
asked, surprised.
"Everything….I
mean you were pretty angry at me." he said.
"Oh
that…well Jordan never give me details about you two…you know
her," she said with a comic grin.
"Yeah."
Woody smiled…that sound like Jordan.
"It
just ….I'm sorry if this sound awful…but for a father the
wasn't here and didn't care …you fly to fast to get your
daughter…I just thought the you don't have good intentions with
the little one."
"Ouch"
Wood thought "Well is not, I don't wanted to be here…is the
I never knew about Cate."
"You
what?" Bianca yelled shocked.
"Well
….Jordan ran."
"Yeah
she told me that part…but she never says ...I just assume…I'm
sorry." Bianca said softly
"I
understand….bad guy…inglorious bastard….I get the point ...I
deserve it." Woody smiled ironically.
"No….I
mean she never talk about you like that….maybe I think like that."
she smiled ironic "but she don't, Jordan always talk about you
with …care….even the her eyes speak for a huge sadness…"
"I
have the fault of that…I'm an inglorious bastard." Woody said
Woody and Bianca were
interrupting by Caterina cries.
"What
is little one?...you are not hungry…" Bianca says…."Oh
….Mommy's time."
"What?"
Woody said curious
"Is
9 am…Jordan get up at this time, to dressed her and then play with
her, after to leave for the job, for a little while" Bianca
explain.
"So what do we
do?" Woody asks
"Well
...actually what you do….because I have to be go to make the
arrangements for the bloods test."
"For
how long?" Woody's voice sound concerned.
"2
or 3 hours….you would be just fine"
"Just
plays with your girl Dad. I prepared the formula and all. Even I let
the instructions in a paper. Arrivederci"
"So I just you and me, Cate….you know I hear a pretty nice song in a movie…We just would change the name of the girl." Woody smile winking an eye to Caterina "Daddy's little girl paints the world with her magic wand. Daddy's little child breathes new life to the morning time for me. Though we're apart, her thoughts follow me. When I come home, "Cate" smiles with the dawn. "Cate" smiles, and she radiates the glow around her halo. When she plays, "Cate" smiles. On a summer day, "Cate" smiles. A new day, "Cate" smiles."
Cate
hear his father with attention, like she was trying to decide to
believe him or not. Woody keeps singing for a while, watching to her
daughter and at the same time making faces for her. The baby laugh
and in some how Woody knew the he can still be there for his
daughter, make some kind of arrange for all the mess he as done.
He
put his daughter in the bed, Jordan's bed and keeps playing, as he
thought the Jordan would do it with her and it seems the his baby
have a little routine, want the bunny first, then a little frog and
the a teddy bear. That teddy bear was definitely the most using; it
seems the she never let them down. One thing catch Woody's
attention, the bear have a card in one ear. He wonder why Jordan
would let the card there, knowing how dangerous could it be for
Caterina. He reaches for the Bear, for taking a way the note, when he
see it was writing. Curious for know who send it; Woody took the Bear
passing the frog to Cate. He read: "Just a little present for
this piece of heaven. Make all the blessed were with her, now and
forever. With love, Paul."
Paul.
What to think right now of the man who told him how to find his
little girl? On the other hand, Paul was also the man who kept his
child from him. Woody shook that thought out of his head. There were
only two things that mattered right now: he had his girl, he needed
so badly to find Jordan. God, Jordan! She didn't need him, but Woody
needed her so badly. More that he could ever articulate in words.
Caterina got his
attention by moving her little hands towards the picture frame on the
nightstand.
"Do you
want the picture, sweetie?" Woody asked picking it up.
It
was Jordan and Cate at Fontana di Trevi. She looked beautiful with
her sunglasses pulling her curls back and Caterina smiling in her
arms. They looked so happy that warmed Woody's heart.
"It's
Mommy, Cate." Woody smiled at his baby sitting her on his lap.
As he moved, he spotted another thing on the bedroom. A half-opened
drawer with a picture album in it.
"I
know you wanted to play, but I'm hoping we can work out some sort of
deal." Woody picked the album up "I think you can be still for
a moment, right little one?" he put a kiss in her daughter kiss,
making ticklish on purpose. Cate laugh "I get that as yes" he
said winking an eye.
He
focus his attention in the album…some pictures just slipped,
probably Jordan was filled the album the day after…he better don't
think in that. He took the pictures and watched. They were recent…no
more the 2 weeks ago. Jordan was holding Caterina in her arms; they
were playing in the park. Caterina have a beautiful dress, pink and
fluffy and Jordan was...using a dress…a Mommy's dress, with little
red flowers, it was not totally fit to the body and show her
shoulders. But the smile and glow in her eyes catch Woody's
attention. When he saw that glow in Jordan eyes?...never, never
before…she looks so happy with his little girl and it gave him some
comfort even though he wasn't there to help her through pregnancy, he
was now sure that Jordan had had the best part of him, their child.
It made woody feel a little better that even when he was unbelievably
stupid to push her away, he could still give her a reason to be
happy, he stared down Caterina, he had never falled in love so hard
in so little time. Truth is he had always loved her, even before she
was conceived and when he got the -letter that Jordan left him saying
she was pregnant; all he wanted was to be with the two people he
loved the most and it was overwhelming to hold Caterina in his arms,
look into her bright blue eyes and know that she was his now, that he
loved her more than he believed it was possible to love someone.
"Your Mommy is the most
gorgeous woman the I ever know Cate" he whispered to his daughter,
who was making little sobs "Let see what else is here" Woody
start to pass page by page, watching Jordan tummy turns in a small
belly to a ver expanded one. Every picture was writting with the
date,month and little notes aside "Today I feel the baby's
kick for first time...it was I have no words for!". he
smiled to this coment, feeling a little filp on his stomach for been
missing all that."My first visit it was overbold me!...see it
the baby and hearing the heart beat!.." He pass over a few
pages...to the 6 moths of pregnantcy "OMG! Is a girl! I
going to be a Mommy for a precious little girl!...crying"...I
hope the she have his eyes..." Woody dropped his mouth at
this last note, after all the mess, in some how she was still
thinking on him...and where she was? If he could sale his soul for
founded , he would do it, not questions asks...but...he can't ...and
Jordan was still missing.
The
phone started to ring...
"Hello"
Woody answers…
"Ciao?"
a voice asks
"Damn…and
Bianca is not here!" Woody yelled "What do I do"
"I'm
back!" Bianca salutes "How is …oh phone" she looks to Woody's
confused face and took the phone from Woody's hand ""Ciao? Chi
è questo?
Woody
was almost letting Bianca deal with the stuff, when she screamed loud
and painful.
"What
happened?...It something wrong?" Woody asks worried.
Bianca
stays there, with her back at him. Woody watch like all her body
start to shivered and how slowly the phone down from her hand. It
panicked him. He takes two steps closer to her and puts his hands on
her shoulders, turning her around to see her face, it was white and
her eyes were full of tears, some already running down her cheeks. A
huge fear rise in Woody's heart and it get locked there
"Bianca
What?" he yelled
"Th-ee-y"
Bianca stammered, shaking for all her body "Th-e-y" she looks
with horror in Woody eyes before screaming desperate "They find
Jordan's body!
