AN: Happy New Year! The year 2006 has been a year I've been waiting for, because it is my last year of high school. It's about time! Tomorrow I have to start school, after being on vacation for the past two months, but it makes me feel better knowing that I only have four months left.

Oh, I want to mention something. I know a few of you ask questions, and usually I answer, but I'm still not used to the whole reply-to-author thing that each review email has. Because I get a lot of reviews- which I am forever grateful for you guys!- I would delete the review alerts from my inbox and then, when submitting a new chapter, I would look over the reviews on this website and answer here. Well, as you know, that isn't allowed anymore, but I still haven't broken the habit of deleting review alerts. So, I'm sorry for anyone who asked questions and didn't receive a reply to! I'll answer them from now on. I'll try, at least.

Also- go see Memoirs of a Geisha for those who haven't seen it yet! I saw it the day after Christmas, and I loved it! Although the movie is long, possibly a little too long for some, it is still a good movie. Don't expect it to be as good as the book, for no movie is as good as a book, but the movie is still worth two hours of your time.

Rated: M for Mature do to sexual content and language.

Disclaimer: Cardcaptor Sakura and its characters belong to Clamp. Plot and original characters of this story belongs to me

Geisha Girl

Chapter Seven

Sakura moaned as she slowly came awake. Her body felt like lead, and her head was pounding heavily. She turned her head, trying to escape the light. She slowly opened her eyes, and blinked a few times to focus them. She frowned when she saw the unfamiliar ceiling. She turned again, confused.

And she shrieked, scrambling away before falling on the ground with a thud, which wasn't good, considering the headache she has. She scrambled to her feet, but was immediately met with dizziness. She swayed a little and reached out to grasp something before she fell. She moaned and put a hand to her forehead, the pounding slightly worse.

Something grabbed her hand, apparently to steady her, but when she saw what it was she jerked her hand away and took a few steps back.

"W-what did you do to me?" She asked hoarsely.

Syaoran sighed. He knew she would act like this. He had very little sleep, only a few hours, thanks to Sakura holding on to him. And he woke up a little before she did. Something in him had just known that she would freak out. He knew her head was hurting, and pretty soon she'll want to throw up. Hangovers were a bitch; he knew that from personal experience. That was one reason why he didn't have a taste for liquor.

"Sakura I need you to calm down and listen to me. I didn't do anything. You were drunk, and I brought you here to-"

"Oh God, you raped me!" She exclaimed, finally seeing what she was wearing.

"I didn't rape you. Come on, Sakura, I'm still in my business suit. If I raped you, I would be naked."

She glared at him, not believing a word. He cursed. "Damn it, if you don't believe me I'll take you to a fucking hospital so you could get checked out!"

"I don't need you to take me anywhere!" She took a couple of steps forward and tried to bent down, wanting to get her kimono, but instead she fell forward, and he went forward to catch her. He pulled her upright, holding her in her arms.

"You were drunk. You said Mr. Nishimoto gave you wine."
She frowned and looked up at him. Her head was hurting, but nonetheless she struggled to remember what happened last night. Mr. Nishimoto? Oh yes, she remembered him. Remembered her first glass of wine, but everything after that was somewhat fuzzy. A few things were clear: A thought, a word, a phrase.

An action . . .

She blushed.

"D-did I throw myself at you?"

He smiled. "Oh yeah."

"Oh God" she moaned. "I was a willing participant!"

His smile turned into a grin. "If you were, I probably wouldn't be as frustrated as I am now."

She blinked, and her blush intensified, his meaning plain and hard against her stomach.

"Sakura, we didn't do anything. You did do some crazy things that nearly made me go over the edge, but luckily I was able to think straight."

She looked at him, saw the truth in his eyes, and nodded. She then moaned and placed her head against his chest. "My head hurts" she whimpered.

"A hangover. It'll be gone in a few hours."

She sighed, closing her eyes, but then they sprang open. "Oh my God, Hana!"

"It's all right, it's all right" he soothe. "During the night, during one of the many hours I was awake because of you-" she glared at him "-I called your okiya to let someone know that you were with me."

"You told them I was drunk?" she fretted.

He shook his head. "No. I said you were hysterical because you were damn near in a car accident, which is true, and I decided to care for you. They believed me, and told me to tell you your sister was all right." He raised an eyebrow. "Hana is your sister?"

She sighed. "Not by blood. She's my apprentice, as you know, and in the geisha world, when a geisha takes on an apprentice, after they do a ceremony they become sisters. The geisha then trains the apprentice."

"Some life you live."

She smiled, but then frowned. "I was almost in a car accident?"

He sighed and began leading her out of the bedroom and into the kitchen, helping her keep her balance. He sat her down and immediately took out orange juice from the fridge. He poured her a glass and placed it in front of her.

Sakura had placed her head in her hands, grimacing as her head continued to pound. She looked at the glass of orange juice.

"Drink it" he ordered, but in a gentle voice. He grabbed the cordless phone and dialed as she took the glass and cautiously sipped the juice, watching him as he spoke into the phone quietly.

When he hanged up she asked him curiously "Who were you calling?"

"Work. Told them that I might not go in today."

Sakura knew it was because of her, and she wanted to tell him not to worry and go, but her head hurt so much she didn't know if you would survive the hangover with him gone. Besides, where would she go? She didn't want to go to the okiya in this condition.

"Can you tell me exactly what I did last night?" She asked slowly. Her face then turned pale. "After I throw up."

She ran to the bathroom, with him following. He held onto her hair as she emptied her stomach in the toilet, kneeling in front of it.

She washed her mouth, and he helped her back into the kitchen, sitting her down. He poured more orange juice for her.

When she took a sip he sat himself across from her, eyeing her. "Are you all right?"

She nodded, placing a hand on her forehead. "Tell me" she said softly, referring to her request to learn what exactly she did last night.

He told her everything, from the moment he saw her in the middle of the road to when she fell asleep in his arms. But he left out what she had told him before she went to sleep, about how she felt lonely sleeping on her bed, alone, and how she always wanted someone to hold her. He felt like she gave a piece of herself to him when she said that, and he didn't want her to get defensive and say that she was drunk and didn't know what she was talking about. He wanted to keep that little information to himself.

When he finished, Sakura was blushing madly. She couldn't believe that she had undressed right in front of him, wearing nothing but panties, and grinded herself against him in order to make him sleep in the same bed with her. She was so embarrassed by that that she didn't even care that she was nearly ran over, thanks, apparently, to her fascination with the ants.

"No need to be embarrassed, Sakura. I liked what I saw, and was definitely turned on with the way you had moved against me. It frustrated the hell out of me, but it turned me on good."

She glared at him, at his twinkling eyes. "That's not helping" she growled, and then winced when the pounding got somewhat worst

"Do you want some aspirin?"

She sighed and nodded.

He got up and went to his bathroom, extracting a bottle from the cabinet behind the mirror. He took two and walked back to Sakura, giving it to her. He was about to get a glass of water for her but she just popped the aspirins in her mouth and swallowed.

"Guess you don't need water" he muttered, walking to the phone when it began to ring again. He kept an eye on her as he answered.

"Hello?"

"Little brother!"

He jerked his head away, flinching, and muttered a curse. He glanced at Sakura, and seeing her raised eyebrow, he shook his head and sighed.

"Don't need to shout. I can hear you loud and clear- or I did until you decided to scream."

"Aww, sorry little brother. This is Fuutie. Look, I called to tell you that mother is sick again."

He frowned. "Is it bad?"
"No, not like last time. She doesn't need to go to the hospital. I think you should come and see her."

Syaoran sighed. "I can't."

"Little brother, she needs you."

"No she doesn't. She has you. I'm sure our other sisters are with her right now, right?"

"That's beside the point, Xiao-Lang."

He could hear the anger in her voice, but what gave away how angry she was, was her calling him by his real name instead of by his nickname. When his sisters were really angry with him, they always called him Xiao-Lang rather than 'little brother'.

"You are her only son. You don't see her at all; she misses you greatly. She is sorry that she had tried to control you, but really, you can't hold a grudge for this long."

"The hell I can't" he muttered. "Fuutie, she practically cut me out of her life-"

"No, she didn't. She just wanted you to have the best education."

"So? I only saw her once a year. And then she has the nerve to demand that I fly all over the world for her when I am finally free to return home and spend time with her?"

"Xiao-Lang . . . She's sick. She wants you here. She loves you."

"I care for her, too. But you said it isn't bad. You guys are there for her. I don't need to be there. Good-bye." He hanged up the phone, and sighed.

Sakura stared at his back. He had been speaking in Chinese, so she had no idea what he had been saying. But she sensed how tense he was.

He finally turned around and walked to the table. "Do you want anything to eat?" he asked, his voice completely remote.

"What's wrong?" She asked.

He shrugged. "Nothing. That was just my sister, telling me my mother was sick. Do you want eggs?" He went to the fridge.

"If your mother is sick, don't you think you should go visit her?"

"She's in Hong Kong. I can't take too much time off work. Besides, my sisters are there. How about some bacon?"

Sakura knew he was trying to change the subject, but he was too tensed, too rigid, as he walked to the stove.

"Syaoran, you told me that you could take as much time off of work as you wanted."

"Did I really?"

"Well, no, not exactly like that, but words to that effect." She frowned. "Syaoran, your mother-"

"Is all right" he nearly growled, clenching the edge of the sink.

"But-"

"This isn't any of your concern so butt out!" he shouted, slamming the sink.

Sakura reeled back, eyes wide. He shouted at her. He has never shouted at her. He has snapped at her, grew angry at her, but never has he shouted at her. His mother must be a touchy subject for him.

He suddenly turned around, but he wasn't glaring at her, which was what she expected. Rather, his eyes were soft.

"I'm sorry" he whispered, walking forward and crouching in front of her, he took hold of her hands. "I didn't mean to shout at you. You have a hangover, and the last thing you need is for me to shout out at you. I'm sorry, baby."

She didn't notice the endearment he used, but rather she nodded, accepting his apology.

"My mother and I . . . We aren't close" he started saying, as if she had asked him for information. She opened her mouth to stop him, to tell him she didn't have to know, but he shook his head. "No, just listen." He sighed. "I was sent to boarding school when I was a child, so I grew up with teachers and classmates rather than parents and sisters. I only saw my family once a year, during Christmas time, and I always felt like an outsider, at least with my mother. My sisters always made sure to spend time with me; they even went as far as to visit me at school whenever they could. But mother . . . She never visited me, and when I was at home she always talked to me with this aloof voice, if she talked to me at all. I finished school at eighteen, and finally was able to go back home and spend some time with my mother. But rather than spending time with me, she began ordering me to go to all these places in Canada, and England, and the US and any other countries for her business. She runs this stock company" he added.

He sighed again. "I did as told, at first, but then grew sick of it. I felt like she didn't want me to be around, so finally I just decided to leave. That's why I'm here, in Tokyo." He shrugged. "I haven't seen her since then, and occasionally she calls me, but only to pressure me to get married."

So that's probably why he was such a playboy, Sakura thought. He sought comfort from the bodies of women due to his mother's neglect. When he couldn't find devotion from his mother, he looked for it in the female population.

"But you must love her. I mean, she's your mother, you should see her."

"It's true, I care for her, but . . . That doesn't erase the fact that she pretty much abandoned me, emotionally, at least."

I care for her . . .

She frowned. She suddenly realized that he has never said that he loved his family. He always said that he cared for them, but never love.

"I know you care for her, but what I'm saying is that you must love her" she said, putting emphasis on the word 'love'.

He blinked, and then he chuckled. "Don't tell me you believe in that bullshit."

"What do you mean?" she asked, completely confused.

He smiled. "Love doesn't exist, Sakura."

Hearing him say that nearly broke her heart.

"You don't believe in love?" She asked softly. "At all?"

"It's an illusion, that's it."

An illusion? How could he think that love was an illusion? She was a geisha, and in her lifestyle love was seen as an illusion, but she knew beyond a doubt that love existed. She had loved her parents, remembered the love they had shared. How could he not believe in such an important emotion?

"Do you think you could handle food?" he asked.

She blinked. Her headache wasn't as bad as before, but her stomach lurched at the thought of food.

"I think you should just make me tea" she whispered. He nodded and kissed her forehead, like a parent would a child.

She watched him as he set the teapot on the stove, his back towards her.

How lonely he must be, she thought. She suddenly realized that he had been telling the truth when he first requested her, when he told her that he was very lonely man. She knew, of course, that he hadn't realized that he was telling the truth, that he was saying those words because he was playing around. But the truth was that he was a lonely man. He had been emotionally neglected by his own mother, and he used sex with women as comfort. If he couldn't get appreciated by his mother, then he would get it by other women.

How could she have feared him? He wasn't a barbarian; he was just a lonely little wolf.

"I'm not scared of you anymore" she stated. She felt compelled to let him know that.

He spun around.

"And I'm not scared of anything you make me feel" she continued.

"Really?" He asked, and she thought she heard some hope in his voice.

She nodded, and he smiled. He walked up to her, made her stand up, and kissed her. Sakura could feel her barriers crashing down, those walls she had tried so hard to keep up. To learn that he didn't believe in love, to learn that he had been neglected, made her want to hold him in her arms and protect him, and suddenly she knew that soon, this would all come to an end. Soon, she would give in to him. It had been a losing battle from the beginning. She wanted to bring back those barriers, but they weren't there anymore. No, there was only a thin invisible wall, and all he needed to do was knock on it once, and she would be his.

What had happened to her? She was a geisha, and to be with him, even kissing him, was a danger to her reputation. For so long she had stood firm with her job as a geisha, keeping everyone at a distance, but Syaoran didn't let her have that distance.

Or maybe she didn't want him to give her that distance. Maybe she wanted him to go after her. Maybe she wanted him to not give up on her.

And then, she knew what had happened to her.

She fell in love with him.

"Oh, crap" she moaned, tearing her mouth away from his.

"Oh, crap?" he asked, a little breathless, raising an eyebrow. "Was my kiss not pleasing?"

"No it's not that. I just realized something . . ." She rested her head against his chest, trailing off.

She loved him. In less than three weeks, he made her fall in love with him. He made her laugh, made her feel wanted- which was something she hasn't felt since the day her parents sold her- and desirable. He paid attention to her, asked questions about her life, and gave information about him in return. This was probably why she feared him. Maybe her subconscious had known he would be a threat to her carefully controlled emotions.

He was everything a woman would want. Handsome, funny, and a non-quitter. He has a career, he was muscular, and he respected her.

Except that he didn't believe in love.

The teapot began boiling, the whistling sound loud and clear, and she cringed. The sound made her head hurt more.

Syaoran cursed and let her go, removing the teapot quickly. "Sorry" he apologized. He cupped her cheek. "Go to my bed and rest. I'll bring your tea to you, okay?"

She nodded and slowly walked away. She paused in the hallway and looked at him, his back towards her once again.

He will never love her, and that hurt. That should have strengthened her resolve to not sleep with him, but it didn't. Oh hell, she was going to get a danna, for heaven's sake. She shouldn't be in love with Syaoran, shouldn't be prepared to give in to him, when she was going to get a danna.

But the truth was that she couldn't help it. She loved him, and there was nothing she could do about it, and yes, she wanted to sleep with him, too. But what about Mr. Totsuda?

She would have to tell Syaoran that his associate was going to be her danna soon. Maybe then he would stop trying to bed her, and then she would be able to resurrect those barriers she had tried to keep.

But what if Syaoran left her completely? Her heart clenched at the thought of him leaving her, only to go to another woman, and get from her what Sakura had resisted in giving him. She placed a hand on her forehead. Her headache was getting worse with all the thinking she was doing, so she headed towards the bedroom.

But one thing was clear. She was going to tell Syaoran about Mr. Totsuda becoming her danna. Whatever happened after that, she would have to accept.

The question was, when will she tell him?

- -

"Where is she?" Totsuda said through clenched teeth, trying to hold in his anger.

"I told you, Mr. Totsuda, she's being taken care of. She was almost in a car accident, and she was hysterical" Hoshiko calmly stated, a little ticked that he was growing mad at her.

"If you tell me where she is then I'll be able to take care of her."

Hoshiko shook her head. She remembered Mr. Li telling her clearly not to tell anyone that he was the one taking care of her, and that she will receive money for her troubles. She agreed, after making sure Sakura would be all right. Mr. Totsuda wasn't the only man who had come in and request the geisha, but he was the only man so far that wouldn't accept the fact that Sakura wasn't here.

"I can't tell you, Mr. Totsuda. But do not worry. She is all right, and safe."

"How do you know? Maybe she is being raped right now, or being killed. Damn it, just tell me where she is!"

"Why do you need to know, Mr. Totsuda?" She asked, eyeing him. "Is there a certain reason? If you need a geisha then you can go to a neighboring okiya." Hoshiko mentally grimaced. An okiya didn't accept a new customer unless he was referred by someone. She wouldn't have accepted Mr. Totsuda if it wasn't for Mr. Zen referring him. So if Mr. Totsuda went to another okiya, that meant she would have to call that okiya and refer him in order for him to be invited in. She didn't want to do that. The neighboring okiya was a rival of hers, and she really didn't want to call.

But, apparently, she wouldn't have to because Mr. Totsuda shook his head. "I don't want another geisha. I just want to make sure my investment isn't hurt."

Investment? Hoshiko frowned. She was a woman of money, even greedy. But she has never, for once, thought of Sakura as an 'investment'. She thought of her as the bread-winner of this okiya, and a very successful geisha. It was an insult, even to Hoshiko, for him to call the geisha an 'investment'.

"If it's any consolation, Mr. Totsuda" she said softly, trying to keep her temper in check "I have finally been able to figure out when to have your ceremony."

That seemed to cheer him up somewhat. "Really? When?"

"The ceremony between you and Sakura will be held . . ." She walked over to her desk and opened her appointment book. "Next week on Wednesday. That will be two days after the banquet for the Prime Minister. Is that all right with you?"

Totsuda nodded eagerly, already thinking of when Sakura would all be his for the taking, and there was nothing Li could do about it.

- -

It was fairly late in the evening when Sakura finally felt well enough, after napping a lot and getting some food in her stomach, to go to the okiya. Syaoran insisted on driving her, teasing that he didn't want her to get fascinated with ants again and decide to stop right in the middle of the road. That had caused a blush to rise on her cheeks, although she still couldn't remember.

He pulled right in front of it and Sakura sighed, not wanting to leave him. Discovering her love for him made her want to stay with him all day, everyday.

"Trying to figure out what to say for not returning back earlier?" he asked, most likely referring to her sigh.

She nodded in order for him not to suspect that she sighed because she was reluctant in leaving him.

"What do you think I should tell Hoshiko?" She asked, suddenly realizing that she would need an excuse for not coming earlier. If she truly had been hysterical over almost being in a car accident, it wouldn't have taken this long for her to get over it, especially when, Syaoran told her, he had called the okami last night to tell her about it.

"Well . . . Say you had, and still do, have a migraine" he suggested.

She raised an eyebrow. "I don't think she'll believe me."

"It's the truth."

"Yeah, well . . ."

Syaoran watched as her face got somewhat pink. "What will she think?" He asked.

Sakura sighed, staring at the okiya. "The last 'daughter' Hoshiko had would stay out all night and not return until the next evening, like I just did. It turned out that she was . . . Um . . . Well, she was . . ."

He suddenly knew what she was trying to say. "She was screwing guys."

"Yeah, pretty much."

He grinned, slowly. "Soon, that will be true for us."

"Oh, I knew you were going to say something like that! I knew it!"

He laughed, sunk his hand into her hair, and kept her head still as he kissed her. He felt her annoyance wash away. He pulled back and ran his thumb across her lower lip. "Can't help it if it's the truth" he murmured, making her frown.

"'Can't help it if it's the truth'" she mimicked, and he smiled, kissing her once more before releasing her.

"Go on, and just tell her you have a migraine, which is true. It won't be hard for you to be in pain."

Sakura sighed and picked up her kimono. Syaoran had graciously went out and bought her some jeans and a shirt after she saw that her kimono was all stained. At first she thought it was blood, until Syaoran pointed out that it smelled like red wine.

"Maybe I could tell Hoshiko that someone died in my arms and all these red stains is blood" she muttered, opening the car door.

"Sounds plausible" Syaoran called when she was out. She stuck her tongue out at him and closed the door.

He drove away as she reached the front door. She opened it, and was immediately met by Hoshiko.

"Where have you been?" She shrilled, and Sakura flinched, the shrill making her head hurt.

"I have a migraine, Hoshiko. Please don't scream." She then looked at Hoshiko sadly, handing her the kimono. "Someone died yesterday, Hoshiko. Right in my arms." She bowed her head, trying to pretend to be sad. Luckily, the okami held the kimono as far away from her as possible, which disallowed her to catch the faint whiff of the red wine smell.

"I tried to help. But . . . And it was supposed to be me in that car accident . . ."

Sakura suddenly walked from the okami towards the stairs. Once her back was facing Hoshiko, Sakura smiled smugly. A beautiful performance, if she did say so herself.

She walked toward her room, and softly closed the door behind her. She collapsed on her bed, and immediately fell asleep, hoping that her migraine would finally go away.

She was suddenly shaken awake and she groaned in protest. Her head was no longer pounding, but she still didn't want to be awaken.

"What?" she whispered, opening her eyes. She blinked and then sat up, seeing light shine through her windows. It was Thursday morning already?

"You have to practice today for the banquet. Ms Matsumono and the other geishas are waiting for you."

"Oh, man" Sakura muttered, getting out of bed and trying to find a kimono to wear. She couldn't believe that she had slept the entire night away without waking up once. Considering that she had napped a lot at Syaoran's, she should have had a sleepless night. But at least her migraine went away.

"Oh, by the way" Hoshiko said as she got up. "Your ceremony with Mr. Totsuda is next Wednesday."

Sakura froze, a kimono in her hands.

"My ceremony?" She asked, although she knew exactly what the okami was talking about.

"Yes. You know, the one where Mr. Totsuda becomes your danna?"

Sakura felt like she couldn't breathe. "Oh" she whispered.

"You still have time to convince Mr. Li" Hoshiko stated, seeing how frozen the geisha was.

"I . . ." Sakura couldn't use Syaoran as a way of avoiding Mr. Totsuda. She just couldn't. "No. I won't convince him. I'll . . . I'll do the ceremony with Mr. Totsuda."

"All right then. Now hurry up and get ready."

Sakura closed her eyes as soon as the okami left. Yesterday she finally figured out that she loved Syaoran, and now she has to do a ceremony that bounded her to another man. She looked at the telephone on her night stand.

She had asked herself when she would tell Syaoran about Mr. Totsuda becoming her danna, and now she knew the time was now. Something in her cringed at the thought, because something told her that he would no longer want to speak with her again after he finds out. Not only was her danna going to be his associate, but she had been leading him on by allowing him to kiss her. And the past three weeks- has it really been that long?- has been nothing but a ploy for him to get her into bed, and now with her getting a danna . . . Well, that man has to know how devoted she was to being a geisha. She has told him that several times when they first met. There was no way she could sleep with him when she was going to have a danna, because that would be risking her reputation and, being a geisha, a reputation was something she had to protect. He has to know that, but just to make sure, she will remind him again.

What if he asked for a one night stand? Sakura knew he wasn't above asking such a bold request, but would he? Maybe he would, but she wouldn't accept it. She couldn't. She wanted to sleep with him- she could no longer deny it- but she would rather not sleep with him at all rather than sleep with him only for him to leave her the next day. No, that would shatter her.

She walked to the phone and picked it up. The only number she had was Syaoran's phone number, which he had given her yesterday. He was most likely at work, and she was grateful. She would be able to leave him a message, and avoid talking to him. It probably wasn't fair of her for taking the coward's way out and not telling him face-to-face, but she feared that she would cry in front of him.

And she feared that her last memory of him would be his back as he walked out of her life.

No, this way her last memories of him would be his sweet kiss, and the laughs they had shared while he had been taking care of her. It would also be easier for her, and less heart-wrenching, and maybe, one day, she will be able to move on without much heart-ache.

She dialed the number, heard the ringing, and when his voicemail picked up, she left a long message for him . . .

AN: Yes! Sakura discovers her love for him- just when she has to do a ceremony with Totsuda. What will happen now?

Oh, please review! I love reviews! This story is doing exceedingly well, much better than I expected, so please keep those reviews coming!